jax/chester

minor, he/him/it, mostly just here to shitpost :p

[ceruleanheaven]

religion is so fucking funny the world is just too beautiful there must be a higher entity behind all this. lets oppress women

[injuries-in-dust]

Watch to the end...

The joy when he did it!

[colemckenzies]

you can make nearly any object into a good insult if you put ‘you absolute’ in front of it

example: you absolute coat hanger

[ggiornojo]

as well u can just add ‘ed’ to any object and it’s sounds like you were really drunk

example: i was absolutely coat hangered last night

[colemckenzies]

#i was gazeboed mate #i was absolutely baubled

[animatedamerican]

Meanwhile, “utter” works for the first (e.g., “you utter floorboard”) but somehow “utterly” doesn’t seem to work as well for the second (“I was utterly floorboarded”).

[nentuaby]

Utterly doesn’t work for drunk because it’s the affix for turning random objects into terms for *shocked*, obviously.

[animatedamerican]

… huh.  I thought that might just be the similarity to “floored”, and yet “I was utterly coat hangered” does seem to convey something similar.

I have to tell you, I am utterly sandwiched at this discovery.

[thepioden]

Completely makes the phrase mean “super tired”.

“God, it’s been a long week, I am completely coat-hangered.”

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Something is

Something is wrong with our language

[rooksandravens]

Is it a glitch or a feature?

[cranberrybogmummy]

Feature

[s-peak-in-tongue-s]

this neat feature is called collocative substitution, and it occurs when certain words are strongly linked to certain context and/or phrases. when you read/hear a pair of words that usually wouldn’t go together, your brain fills in the context with what would normally be inferred, given the originally phrased pairing. thus, finding out that there’s a term for this phenomenon may indeed leave you utterly sandwiched. lesser known or less strongly linked phrases and pairings may not be able to translate substituted words to appropriately fit the inferred context, so you were not utterly floorboarded at the club last night, but rather you were absolutely floorboarded, and as this explanation continues to drag on, you may by the end of it find yourself completely coathangered from read it all.

[lizawithazed]

I, like all linguists I have met or even heard of, have a deep intricate love-hate relationship with the English Language because of complete and total coathangering like this

[cupcakeshed]

What in the goddamn coathanger did I just read

[oracleofstarsandmagpies]

@i-hate-gcse-english-lit-offical

i think u would definetely not hate this

[i-hate-gcse-english-lit-offical]

the good bit of english

[angel-derangement]

“we live in an uncaring universe” yeah dude and I live in an uncaring house. and I shit in an uncaring toilet. but do you touch an uncaring lover? do you comfort an uncaring child? do you guide to sleep each night a cold and uncaring self?

[angel-derangement]

please hurry up in reblogging this I wanna jorts it before someone puts it in one of those heartwarming tiktok slideshows

[ablubluh]

i was like 'what could jorts it possibly mean' but as with many things clicking the original post immediately clarified the situation

[arielluva]

"OR WOMEN IN GENERAL"???? HELLO

[sailatina3]

Reblog to bully people who don't like female characters or women in general off the internet.

[bugsnbites]

Picture it. Decades after the world is saved, a huge alien spacecraft touches down on earth.

Scientist, politicians, and thousands of reporters gather to witness the aliens disembark the ship. A group of boulder-like creatures, clicking and whistling to the humans around them.

One of them raises something large and metallic towards the crowd.

There's an immediate recoil of fear (is it a weapon?!) before the audience realises it's human technology. A laptop, old and beaten and looks like it was put back together by a drunk.

The alien presses a button.

"Hello Earth, this is Doctor Captain Ryland Grace. These guys are Eridians and they're here on a shopping trip. I have a list and no money, but I did save the world so that has to count for something. Number one, salt and vinegar chips. Actually anything potato. Number two, I miss apple juice. Number three,"

[lockssteps]

im a fake fan of everything i like because i cant remember anything

[geeky-and-proud]

i just think there would be a real debate on earth when the Beetles arrive of how much of the footage should be made public - like, it's a globally funded project that contains the answers to humanity and the entire earth's survival, ofc we should let everyone see it all.

but then Stratt is watching it back and there's just a solid three days of Grace scream singing Take Me Home Country Roads interspersed with crying. and she decides that maybe not everyone needs to see that.

[miseducatedmelanicmuse]

Like a new friend!

[mimosa-sex-tea-people-contrsf]

Babies look like someone blended up a human with a potato and put it in a vaguely human shaped mold until they’re like 4

[thefernhands]

If you're fifteen or older an still sleep with a stuffed animal please reblog this.

My friend is embarrassed and thinks she’s the only one and I said id prove her wrong.

[hiveswap]

Not now, kitten, m- da- m- your parental figure is in the middle of a gender crisis

[ask-crammaster-ham]

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

Lee says:

Here’s a transitioning starter pack for all my trans folk out there! 

Transfeminine resources:

Presentation:

Tucking

Chest area

Voice

Broad shoulders tips

Hair removal

Feminine walk

Curves

Waist training

Growing out your hair

Clothing

Makeup

Passing

Medical transitioning:

Not medically transitioning

Fertility

Puberty blockers

Estrogen & anti-androgens/testosterone blockers FAQ

The types of surgery available

Surgery: A guide for transfeminine people

Pumping (Silicone injections)

Facial Feminization Options

Breast Augmentation

Other:

Representation

Transfeminine period dysphoria

Yes, Transfeminine People Can Get Period Symptoms

Slipping into masculinity

Women’s restroom etiquette

Transfeminine people can breastfeed

Having sex or masturbating

Transmasculine resources:

Presentation:

Binding FAQ

Clothing

Facial hair

Masculine makeup

Getting short hair / Masculine long hair

If you can’t start T

Lowering your voice

Packing and standing to pee

Passing as male

Not shaving legs

Medical transitioning:

Not medically transitioning

Fertility

Puberty blockers

Testosterone FAQ

Top surgery

Facial masculinization surgery

Body masculinization surgery

Hysterectomy and oophorectomy

Bottom surgery (genital surgery)

Other:

Periods and related things

Help! I need to see a gyno

Pumping

Masturbation and sex

Using the men’s bathroom

Hudson’s FTM Guide

Height dysphoria

Hip dysphoria

More resources:

What gender am I? A brief intro to questioning

Trans 101 for trans people

What is the transgender umbrella?

How do I choose a name?

How do I come out at work/school or to family/friends?

Dysphoria info and tips page

Mental health coping page

Being trans in school

Non-binary resources

Resources to send allies/friends

A page to send to parents/guardians

Convincing someone to respect name/pronouns 

Here is how to get hormones in the US

Here is how to get hormones in the UK

The NHS’s Guide For Young Trans People in England

Here’s a US resource with info on changing legally changing your name and gender marker 

Here is a UK resource with info on changing legally changing your name and gender marker

What are the WPATH-SOC guidelines?

How to save money

How to buy a trans-related item online without parents knowing

I have to go swimming, what do I wear/do?

Trying to sleep when you have dysphoria

Airposts and traveling by plane

Gender neutral bathrooms

Getting insurance to cover your transition

Does transitioning help mental health?

Trans teen’s experiences with inpatient hospitalization

Trans identity isn’t a mental disorder

Vaping prevalence

Being religious and LGBT

Transgender Lives: Your Stories (to see trans adults) 

Gender neutral pronouns in Spanish

Gender Variance Around the World Over Time

A map of gender-diverse cultures

American LGBT history by the National Parks Service

Crisis help: Suicide and crisis hotlines

Anyone can reblog, including allies!

[imfemalewarrior]

Here is a master post from this blog! 

Please reblog to spread it! 

Also if you have more specific questions regarding the above and fitness, @thenonbinraywarrior is a great blog to check out! 

-FemaleWarrior, She/They 

[xx-am3thyst-4st3r-xx]

@pie-tra @space-rocc @myconidwitch @gloriousvermin

[the-quasar-hero]

Wait, the dog days are over? The dog days are done? And no one told me 😰?!

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

[toomanyassassins]

some of my favorite underrated moments from the phm deleted scenes:

grace inadvertently pushing the button to bring out the other two beds with his butt, immediately after ripping the catheter out of his rectum

"please do not share the food paste with the medical arm" cut to armando using a polite little handkerchief to wipe its "face"

grace pulling the wrong toilet flush and getting his head vacuum-sucked into the centrifugal-oriented one (also thank you phm deleted scenes for the only other angle of the bathroom we will probably ever get <3)

"wHY IS IT IN RUSSiaN???"

idk if the guys in the spacesuit tutorial video are some of the props crew, but if they are then i'm glad they got to show off their creation and have fun/be silly about it

grace's red-and-white stripped boxers + Scorpions t-shirt = incredible sleepover combo

"goodnight grace" "goodnight rocky" "goodnight armando" "goodnight john boy" "goodnight jim bob" "good night mary ellen" etc etc

"rockyyyyyyyy. it's time to go to sleep!" "okay you start!" "i'm trying" "try harder"

just... the whole sleepover scene. these two i stg!!! four fucking years of this shit. i just know grace and rocky achieved levels of co-dependent friendship previously thought unattainable

the original *shake head slowing becoming a nod* that the later post-rocky-wake-up scene calls back to

"maybe we're cousins" "wOAAUUGGGHHH!"

grace doesnt look even vaguely surprised when rocky whips out the split arm tongue thingy. they probably spent the entire trip to adrian just showing off weird body parts to each other