The Quote Wall

People make me laugh. Excessively. Here's what they say. Don't forget to submit!

[bigquotewall]

Dr Ang: why is everyone wearing athletic shirts?

Charlotte: cause I’m going to the gym!

Dr Ang: aiyooo the only thing I am gaming these days is my mouth, yelling at you people

[bigquotewall]

Dad, playing Fortnite: I killed him!

Mom, who doesn’t get video games: kill that big fat guy, you’ll get more points

[bigquotewall]

Vira, looking at all the snacks in the office pantry: how are we suppose to lose - oh I have strawberry shortcake in my bag

Charlotte: were you going to say “how are we supposed to lose weight”?

Vira: yes. And then cake.

[fierceliraz]

Uber driver: I like your country’s (France) geography. Cause you have a bit in South America. French Guyana.

Me: um yeah, we do I guess

Him: cause the colony

Me: yeah…

Him: South America is nice

[bigquotewall]

Vira: should I keep the receipt?

Charlotte: that is the fiscally responsible thing to do. Are you fiscally responsible?

Vira: I mean, I have a bullet journal.

[bigquotewall]

Xin Yi: Do you want a cookie?

Jun Hui: No I want to die.

[bigquotewall]

Steph: the tinder guy I'm seeing tomorrow has been wearing one colour a month. Head to toe. This month it's red. Can't tell if I'm attracted or not

Milly: at least it will be memorable

Charlie: true. "One time I dated a crayola pack" ... "Kids, let me tell you about the time I tasted the rainbow"

[bigquotewall]

Steph: I have 107 tinder matches and no one is here stroking my hair. Fuck em.

Charlotte: 107!

Milly: 107! what the fuck

Charlotte: that's your new nickname. 107, license to Netflix and Chill.

[bigquotewall]

Meg: at what point to do you become "ma'am?"

Charlotte: ma'am is in the eye of the beholder.

[bigquotewall]

‘Put me down for double penetration too’ (when playing cards against humanity and Cam says, I’ll go for double penetration)

John MC

[bigquotewall]

A good tongue can go anywhere.

Trevor

[bigquotewall]

I'm irreverent and a little bad

Meg

[bigquotewall]

Her name was Dallas or like Nantucket... Some American city name.

Steph

[bigquotewall]

Steph: your nostrils are fine!

Milly: no they're huge!just wait til I'm mad.

[bigquotewall]

Oh no I stepped on a pea and it exploded! It made a crunching noise and then my foot was wet.

Meg

[bigquotewall]

After Theon says he's going home

Charlotte: I feel like that's not a good idea

Meg: yeah probably not

Charlotte: they've never liked him

Meg: well they were a bit sad though when they got his penis in a box.

[bigquotewall]

I think I pulled a muscle playing x-box

Steph