Original Flavor @bigsquint - Tumblr Blog

ublock origin is not enough i need advertisers to feel physical pain

I'm performing the sort of photosynthesis where I convert sunlight into pain and redness for my skin

physicists can bring back elvis for a few picoseconds at a time under ideal lab conditions but its not stable enough to generate music yet

threedollarsdotcom

they did some 7-zip shit to my nervous system

setulose

Trace amounts of Monica in my life

setulose

A statistically insignificant level of Monica in my life

setulose

My life manufactured in a facility that also processes Monica

sweetfears

Too funny to leave in comments @inkskinned

spelled "necessarily" so bad the spell check didn't even make a go at it. bad omen.

beemovieerotica

idk if i told the full story on here but i signed up for a research study where they were testing a new opioid, and it was supposed to be up to 5 injections increasing the dose to see what people could tolerate

i got the first dose and almost immediately fainted. they had to call in a whole medical team and it was a huge fucking deal

i was kicked out of the study and got a phone call later where they were supposed to tell me what the drug was, so i could avoid it in the future. they told me it was saline water. a placebo. i fainted from the placebo effect.

anyway, it's been a few months and i just got an email from the same department asking me to be a research participant in a new study: testing the effects of open-label placebo.

open label placebo is when the subjects and the researchers all know it's a placebo. they're testing the power of my mind. my power to imagine anything.

i like to think that they chose me for this specifically based on their past experience with me. "get the guy who fainted like a little bitch boy from saline water." anyway i just submitted all my info and i'm looking forward to getting started.

bigsquint

those scientists want to find out what happens if they give you a second dose

homeopathy is just making weak, shitty tea to test my fucking patience

seren-starlight

I have radar. It's like gaydar but for Ra

threedollarsdotcom

they invented like 1000000 foods by doing some bullshit to milk

gondorrevealparty

Polycules should be able to trade people like sports teams do

gondorrevealparty

Listen -- you're a good defender and your pussy is fantastic, but that's not what our team needs right now. We're trading you to Greater Boston in exchange for someone who has a car.