Kung Pow Penis

[teathattast]

[karenfreethekids]

[butchlesbianz]

I think this might be a masterpiece

[paramoregf]

[epilepticsaints]

[evilwizard]

me: *covered in scratch marks* i am still a powerful and respectable wizard, you know

my imp krongus: *doubtfully* yes, my lord

me: i did eventually kill the mouse with a needle for a sword

krongus: it’s just that it was so close, my lord

[huffylemon]

[tastefullyoffensive]

[rainbow-femme]

The three kinds of bird species name

1. God’s Specialist Little Boy

2. Hot Breasted Milf

3. Grey Bird With Brown Head

4. Walter’s Fingernail

[rainbow-femme]

[elodieunderglass]

[pseudomantis]

Scientific fraud is the most baffling thing ever to me like do they think they're just going to make a huge breakthrough and no one will notice that it's fake by trying to replicate their results

[pseudomantis]

Yeah actually I just discovered how to turn plastic into gold. Oh you want to know how I did it

Starts running away cutely

[jonnywaistcoat]

[itwashotwestayedinthewater]

the most Child Emperor urge i have is to shout "BOOORRIINGGG!!!" when i have to witness something i dont like for too long

[fluorescentbrains]

citationless behavior

[kragehund-est]

no more "in my humble opinion", from now on it's "from my grandiose and objectively correct deductions".

[woolandflax]

Ha I wonder how many strokes the most complex Chinese character has like maybe eightee-

[woolandflax]

Has a Chinese son, names him bèng-dá, and he hates me

[woolandflax]

My beloved son 䨻龘 just trying to write his name in kindergarten

[inthefallofasparrow]

[schistcity]

[cryptotheism]

AMD GOD GAVE THE BEAST-KINGS GIFTS THAT THEY MIGHT SHARE WITH THEIR PEOPLE:

To the Wolf, god gave ripping teeth, and the Law of the Pack.

To the Bear, god gave crushing jaws, and terrible strength

To the Falcon, god gave slicing talons, and great sight

And to the Shrimp, god gave the concussive plasma cannon.

[totopopopo]

I have never met a creature as stupid as a customer in a store