Angry Sheep/ Supportive Doggo

She/Her, I post whatever random garbage I feel like at any given moment, curated content is for side blogs :P

[departmentq]

This is the world capitalists want to return to.

Instagram

[kaity--did]

The problem with having a child with an attorney that has spoken to the child like an adult since birth is that she's 4 years old and she's negotiating the order in which we're going to complete tasks as a family to best suit her idea of an ideal day.

[kaity--did]

Penny: We go home, we play the mirror game, we have dessert, we play more games, we have fun deal?

Me: Okay well actually we're going to go home, have dinner, then dessert, then we can play your video game, then tubby then bed

Penny: Okay no tubby, games first, deal?

Me: This is not - what is happening right now?

Penny: Dada?

Dada: Arbitration?

Penny: DEALS!

[kaity--did]

Every single thing in our lives has become a negotiation and it is frankly ridiculous as it is hilarious.

Penny: I want to use bare foot when we go outside

Me: I didn't know we were going outside but you have to wear shoes girl

Penny: okay but what about I use bare foot's but at Penny's house? This deal?

Me: you know what yeah fine if you agree to not fight about shoes when we leave the house you can be barefoot in the back yard, deal.

Penny: -sticks her hand out expectantly- we deal?

I think I just made a verbal contract with a 4 year old.

[kaity--did]

She's attempting to establish evidence I think

Penny: but I want to go shool pwease

Dada: okay well it is 8pm, so you have to go to sleep now

Penny: okay but I see my fwiends at shool now please, deal?

Dada: Darling no one is at school, all your friends are asleep as well.

Penny: all Penny's fwiends are sweep? What about we... get in Dadas car and check to see watch them sweep, yes deal?

Dada: I cannot begin to explain to you why that can not happen

[kaity--did]

The great thing about being beholden to Penny the Deals Warlock is that she is also beholden to the art of the deal

Me: (watching Penny scoot her step stool over to where we keep the candy jar): hey honey we're literally walking out the door to go get dinner, maybe we wait on the candy okay?

Penny: Oh but I will have some candy?

Me: Why don't you come have some mac and cheese and then when we get home you can have some candy, deal?

Penny: (running out the door) oh, yes this is deals!

[kaity--did]

We are visiting my family and Papa has quickly had to pay patronage to Penny the Deals Warlock

Papa: (yesterday morning, when Penny was a little grumpy) What about you come downstairs and we'll have some waffles and then tomorrow Papa will take you to the Diner in town for breakfast?

Penny: (extending her tiny hand to a VERY confused man) this is deal?

Papa: (not knowing hes entering a literal contract) uhm yeah deal.

-smash cut to 6:30 AM this morning-

Penny (running down the hallway in bare feet) 👹BREAKFAST DEALS👹

[kaity--did]

Penny has a canker sore to end all canker sores, to the point where she hasn't been able to eat so we had to make some deals surrounding getting some medicine on it because a hungry Penny Rose is like a angry demon queen

Me: Okay baby this is going to suck. This is going to hurt real bad for a second and then it's going to feel weird and then it's going to feel good. You're going to hate it. But if you let Mama get these three medicines in and on you [Listerine, Antacid, Tylenol] you can scream it out and then we'll go get some ice cream! Deal?

Penny: (obviously not thrilled with this idea) okay, three big shreams, three medicines, ice cream ... it will suck... ice cream ... deal. (Sticks out hand and we shake on it)

Me: okay let's do this I'm so sorry (starts the process)

Penny: ( In between her big screams ) IM GONNA GET LOTS OF FRINKLES

[kaity--did]

My husband is trying to make a deal with Penny to get upstairs and get in the bath tub

Penny: I will go upstairs and get my body clean but you hafta titch me, deal?

Dada: I would love to make this deal with you kid but I literally have no idea what you are saying- I don't know what the terms are, you're speaking a language I don't speak

Penny: you have to titch me like mama does okay DEAL!? (Sticks tiny hand out aggressively)

Dada: (looks at me bewildered for help)

Me: ( starts making a quick tick tick tick sound imitating a stop watch like I'm timing her, while penny jumps around yelling YES TITCH ME LIKE THAT)

Dada: In what world was I ever going to figure that out, thank you for acting as our legal interpreter yes deal let's go!

and off she sprints.

[kaity--did]

Penny does not want to go to bed, but man is it time for her to go to bed

Penny: But I don't want to be sleeping, I want to stay up now! I want to see Grampy and Cozy and Guppie and Papa!

Mama: What if we video call all the grands and say good night to everyone? If we do that will you then go to bed no fussing?

Penny: Oh yes, this is deals! -sticks her hand out to shake-

** we make the rounds and video call all her grandparents, they are all already in bed and say good night and penny hangs up the last video call and toddles into bed with minimal fussing **

Penny : (after a few minutes of silence, over the video monitor, to herself in her dark bedroom) I hafta respect da deals.

[kaity--did]

Every morning Penny wakes up, and she asks if we have decorated her house with "Halloween every where" and every morning I have had to tell her not yet baby but soon. This last morning Penny had to go to pre k a little earlier then she is used to cause Daddy had court and I had a dentist appointment, which made her a little bummed out... or so I thought

Me: Hey baby do you want to make a deal about school?

Penny: (immediately sticks out her hand, literally no hesitation, her entire demeanor changing in an instant) yes let's deals, I will be big and brave and go to school no fussing, and you will put Halloween every where all over my house, okay this is deals Mama??

I think I just got hustled by a 4 year old...

[kaity--did]

A tangentially related update :

Penny: (is doing some strange interpretive dance to let us know she's not a fan of the cup we've chosen to put her juice in, mind you this is the only clean cup at this moment. She is hopping up and down, and swinging her arm like an elephant trunk, she is pirouetting, her hands are on her hips. Shes is completely silent)

Husband: (exasperated) okay but DID you make a deal with SOMETHING while you were pregnant ? It's the only explanation I can come up with.

[kaity--did]

sometimes people will ask me if penny is still making deals and here is an update for you to let you know:

Husband: okay, you can not leave your room until someone comes and gets you okay? You're getting up way too early and we're guests in Papa and Guppies house so you stay and play in your room and someone will come get you when you can come out of your room tomorrow morning, deal?

Penny: (hand extended, plotting) deal

-smash cut to the next morning, penny is NOT in her room at the allotted 7:30 AM retrieve Penny Rose Time, we find her in bed cuddled up with my mom and dad watching a movie-

Penny: (hands out in a "calm down" gesture) LISTEN LISTEN I DIDNT LEAVE! I DIDNT- I didn't break da deals! I just knocked on the door until Papa came and got me.

Papa: (laughing hysterically) WELL DONT SNITCH!

Penny: I DIDNT DO NOTHING I KEPT MY DEALS! YOU JUS SAID SOMEONE HAD TO COME GET ME! PAPA COME GET ME!

(so we have to be insanely detailed in our deals because she did knock on her bed room door and yell PAPA! PAPA! PAPA! At 4:30 in the morning until my dad came and got her and you know what that's on us 🤣)

[melodeelaine]

Kingfisher and Great Egret lined up just right

[homunculus-argument]

I know that I'll certainly never be someone they'd build a memorial for, but if I could get one, I'd like to get one of those park bench statues that are sitting on the bench. Specifically of me sitting casually looking towards the other seat at an angle, looking intrigued with a "surprised but not disappointed" kind of a look on my face. Kind of a "huh, won't you look at that."

I want that specifically so people can make it a meme to post pictures of themselves showing me stuff. Like memes off their phone.

Or maybe things that they are proud of but don't have anyone else to show them to. Like your school graduation papers, this cool knitting project you finally finished, your baby who's never going to see their grandparents.

And I also want a clause that they will absolutely fucking never put those anti-homeless things of any kind on my damn bench. So if there's ever someone who's got nobody else to keep them company, they can at least spend the night with me.

[loyaldis]

They grow up so fast *sniff*

Character belongs to my teammate

[hydrahowl]

i feel silly saying this as a guy with a dog fursona (even if he IS a werepede) but we need more uncommon animal fursonas. if YOU couldnt pick a common fursona animal (canids, felids, dragons, furry species like protogens, you get the idea) what would you make your fursona

[violetmagician]

Was thinking that since I do love puzzles maybe I could make some illustrations that I would like as puzzles, so here's some lantern headed creatures in the fog

[wovi]

[gwydpolls]

Who Sang it Better? Blackbird Edition

These are not remotely all the versions recorded by various artistsover the years, but I aimed for a nice selection.

Winner goes up against the Beatles:

The Beatles - Blackbird (1968)

The Contenders:

Mr. Mister - Broken Wings

Julie Fowlis Lon-dubh / Blackbird

Blackbird - Sarah McLachlan

Emma Stevens - Blackbird by The Beatles sung in Mi'kmaq

Who Sang it Better?

Mr. Mister

Julie Fowlis

Sarah McLachlan

Emma Stevens - Mi'kmaq version

Voting ended onJul 24

If you have a different version you like, please suggest it.

[fanonical]

post-apocalyptic gang like the kings, the gang that worship elvis from fallout new vegas, except they’re all skaters who worship tony hawk

[galahadwilder]

Addendum: none of them know what he looked like

[therealbeachfox]

What did The Hawk look like? He looked like you. You look like Him. We all look like Him. The Hawk was always told “You look like Tony Hawk”, but no one ever thought He was The Hawk. So we can only presume that everyone looks like The Hawk. He is the commonality of all humanity. 

The commonality of all humanity that does sick shreds.

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Tony Hawk is a member.

[khayr]

hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi

[yesterdayiwrote]

The irony of this new breed of self-righteous AI hunters on AO3 is that they're all just copy and pasting peoples fics into AI detectors, which are all operated by AI and therefore THEY are feeding people's work into the algorithm without their consent and in some cases no doubt circumventing the locks people put on to avoid getting scraped...

Don't copy and paste anyone's AO3 work into third party websites, you're not the good guys in this situation?

[zaziki1412]

Reblog cause FACTS

[convelocity]

The lights were off and everyone was home.

Grab prints here or here.

[monarobot]

A more rendered and atmospheric version of one of my design variants for the creature from Dan Simmons’ book “The Terror”, if it were to appear on film!

[nattousan]

*doom music starts to play* I actually kindof like scheduling these kinds of appointments now...

but seriously Fellas, don't forget to schedule a pap smear every couple of years just in case. If you still have a cervix you can still get cervical cancer. ilu

this has been a psa

[nattousan]

i've had this as an idea since 2017 btw

[nattousan]

damn, tumblr says my art is ass and trans people is eye strain so no blaze for me :\

it'd be a shame if this...

blazed the old fashion way...

[monarobot]

Here’s some sketches exploring one of my ideas for the creature from “The Terror” by Dan Simmons, and how I imagined it could work as a supernatural element while still able to be mistaken for a polar bear at a glance or in the distance.

[kaity--did]

It's the internet's millennial mom back here again with an extremely unpopular opinion that I need you all to internalize:

There are no food rules, ESPECIALLY when you're just feeding yourself.

The internet (and specifically TikTok, Pinterest, etc) has become obsessed with beautifully plated meals that follow certain conventions. It's all bullshit.

Crack your pasta in half before you put in the pot. Put BBQ sauce on your salad. Do whatever the hell you need to do to get nutrients into your body. The only rule is you need to eat.

[kaity--did]

I can not even begin to explain to you how "heat the food until it's not poison" should just be implicit you absolute bubble frogs