if i can't move heaven, i'll raise hell

i'm here, i'm queer, and i could use a nap right about now

[whitepeopletwitter]

[besweetbyjapanesebreakfast]

today i hung out w my 15 y/o brothers girlfriend and i jokingly was like “tell me embarrassing stuff about him” and she was like “ok. he has a piss kink” and was 100% serious and i almost crashed the fucking car

[sadhoc]

*thinks about my trauma* i come with lore

[totaldowner]

people who don’t believe in ghosts or aliens or multiple realities are so boring... u only believe what ur feeble little eyes tell you? what your liar brain tells you? there’s more to all of this

[hetalia-club]

genuinely enjoying and being okay with watching someone play video games rather than playing it yourself is younger sibling culture.

[flushed-emoji]

Whole heartily agree

[the-quasar-hero]

I’m going to defeat you with the power of friendship and this gun I found

[get-thee-to-a-shrubbery]

maybe the real treasure was this gun i found along the way

[oysters-aint-for-me]

has anyone ever had the problem where you literally never want to do anything that you cannot reap benefits from immediately

like maybe I’m hungry but everything I have in the house at the moment would take 10+ minutes to prepare so I just……put off making the food for WAY longer than it would have taken to prepare the food when I first got hungry

Or i want to order some necessary thing online but the website says it will take a week to get here and i’m like “oh well fuck that” so I put off ordering it for like a week

Or if im like “I should clean my room because I like when it’s clean” but I know it’ll take me a couple hours so I don’t do it for like six months

It’s like there are only two times for me: right this instant and The Entire Rest Of The Future.

[strawberryoverlord]

That’s executive disfunction baby

[stimman4000]

bro keep this between us but your vibes are luscious as fuck today

[100493503004422]

someone: what do u do for fun? me: *realizes I don’t have fun*

[beaucile]

Hold my hand bro we’re crossing the street

[afieldinengland]

living in the countryside really strikes the fear of god into you at the most random moments. you’ll just make eye contact with a cow or stare for too long into a brook and all of a sudden you’ll think something like “these are old bones and i am merely a passing occupant” and then you have to go and put the kettle on to cope

[afieldinengland]

me:

the hare staring at me from across the field: which one of your lives is this?

me, legging it: okay tea time i think

[valtsv]

whats god to a feral woman

[valtsv]

y'all out here drinking your galaxy brain juice today i see

[strongermonster]

i love student housing. i’m in the common room waiting for a friend and there’s some dude crying on the couch w a bunch of his friends around him and i can only hear bits and pieces but someone asked him “who gets the minecraft server if you guys break up?” and he started crying harder and a 3rd person reached over to smack the guy who asked it on the back of the head

[strongermonster]

university is the best place on earth bc everyone has like 400 iq points but we’re all collectively only using 18 of them (7 on weekends but we have to share them)

[julieterbang]

[fate]

via weheartit

[untrustyou]

[jooferslannister-deactivated202]

[glixbitch]

I JUST CHECKED THIS IS REAL IM SCREAMING