I Need A Nap @bisexual-garbage - Tumblr Blog

Okay so I’m an elementary school art teacher right, and I have this really fun game I made a PowerPoint for to teach like, emotions and intent and looking at the whole picture to first grade.

The idea is, when we count down and change slides, kids have to mimic one thing in the painting as best they can, whether it’s animate or inanimate. If there’s nothing in the shot for them to mimic (because I threw some contemporary abstract stuff in), they have to show me how the painting makes them feel. Easy enough, gets them excited to move around and vocal about their feelings regarding art, it’s very chaotic. I can tell pretty fast who’s got the emotional maturity to mimic things in a complex way, and who’s just enough of an abstract thinker to mimic inanimate objects early on in the game...

So the first picture is this:

Napoleon Crossing the Alps. My favorite reactions are usually the kids who pretend to be the freaked-out horse, but 2 memorable occasions were the one where a student immediately scrunched up to be the rock in the foreground, and the one where a pair of girls, without any communication on their parts, decided to be Napoleon riding the horse with one as Napoleon and one as the horse. Basically one of them fully tackled the other apropos of nothing, it was hilarious

I’ll add more if y’all want or if I feel like it lol I have a bunch of stories from this one game

xeduo

Okay so later in the lineup we get to Dalí’s Persistence of Memory, which is very funny because it’s preceded by several pieces that have like, obvious people in them, so everyone’s gotten a bit complacent in their mimicry

In case you’ve forgotten, this is Persistence:

And I swear every time, there’s a beat right before everyone either becomes a tree by t-posing for their life, or goes boneless like some kind of child-shaped pancake over the nearest flat surface

Highlights from this one include a pair who decided to drape themselves pancake-style over the same desk and banged heads, resulting in 2 ground pancakes, and someone who fully just stood there staring, and explained that they were expressing the hatred they felt as soon as they saw it

xeduo

Last installment: one of the pictures is The Scream, and everyone very quickly just makes a 😱 face, but then we get to talk about my favorite “throw spaghetti at the wall” topic, why is he screaming? (The answer is Existential Dread, but it’s not appropriate to tell 1st graders that so instead we all put out other ideas lol)

In case you haven’t looked at it recently, this is The Scream:

My favorite guesses from the kids to Why Is He Screaming:

-those guys behind him are going to arrest him

-he missed his boat and it’s one of the ones in the background, he just noticed

-the sky’s all wiggly

-he just wanted to scream

-HE CAN SEE THE CLASS OF FIRST GRADERS LOOKING AT HIM AND HE DOESN’T LIKE IT

Children are bonkers

bard-owl

sharper-and-bigger

The Army of Poland employed a brown bear as part of an artillery team in the Second World War. His name was Wojtek (pronounced "voytek") and he worked in the 22nd Artillery Company.

In spring of 1942, after the Soviet invasion of Poland in 1939, thousands of Polish citizens and elements of the Polish military were deported from Soviet territory. They journeyed through Iran to British Palestine.

Along the way, they encountered an Iranian boy with an orphaned bear cub. According to the boy, the cub's mother had been killed by hunters. The teenage neice of a Polish general convinced an officer to buy the bear cub, which they nursed back to health and eventually made their mascot.

The bear was trained to perform a military salute, cuddle with soldiers on cold nights, and even march with them by standing on his back legs. He copied the soldiers in every way, even attempting to smoke cigarettes (he usually just ate them).

When the Polish army finally reunited with allied forces, they were assigned to join the invasion of Italy alongside the British 8th Army. However, the transport ships banned all pets and mascot animals.

The Poles refused to leave Wojtek, and got around the rule by drafting the bear into the army as a legally recognized soldier. He had his own personal records files, his own paycheck, his own dogtag ID number, and even held the rank of Private.

It wasn't symbolic, either. Private Wojtek actually participated in combat at the Battle of Monte Casino by carrying 100-pound crates full of artillery shells. It was a job that normal required four men, but Wojtek did it alone and perfectly, never dropping a single shell. His actions kept the artillery barrage well supplied until Allied forces finally seized the fortified mountaintop from Nazi paratroopers.

In recognition of his excellent performance, Private Wojtek was promoted to Corporal Wojtek and the 22nd Artillery Company made their flag the image of a bear lifting an artillery shell. They still use that flag today.

After the war, Corporal Wojtek retired to the Edinburgh Zoo in Scotland, where he was frequently visited by fellow Polish veterans, who game him cigarettes just like old times. He enjoyed a long and happy life, weighing over 1,000 pounds as any successful brown bear should. There are several memorials in his honor, both in Poland and Scotland.

teaboot

I want to meet the legendary balls-to-the-wall WW2 Veteran who first said "Lēte Prívātə Bëªr McBèąrfæçe Cárřý Tħē Fûckínğ Éxpløsivės"

sg-roadbuster

Imagine being a private, and getting transfered into this unit. Only to learn the Bear Outranks you.

teaboot

A Bear wearing a Hat: bruUUAUGHHggnn

Some army guy: Corporal Wojtek just asked you a question you dumb sack of shit

dajo42

hello to the following people

- person who earlier today experienced a weird stabbing pain somewhere and they have opted to ignore it for now

- person who is currently eating spicy instant noodles and becoming increasingly aware that their drink is insufficient for how spicy the noodles are

- person who learned something about tv show supernatural against their will this week

- person who is fairly certain theyre autistic but getting a diagnosis is impossible, too much stress or simply unnecessary for them

- person whose dad thinks steak tastes best well done

- person who thinks mario galaxy is overrated

- person who is allergic to something they eat regularly anyway

systlin

U ever wanna just take your own brain out and soak it in a nice ibuprofen solution for a little bit

depsidase

cannibalcaprine-deactivated2024

i never thought 4chan would be an upgrade for some people, but holy FUCK

ceremonial

Robert Pattinson in Bel Ami (2012) / The Lighthouse (2019)

spencersbitch

Robert Pattinson in Twilight (2008)

keptins-log

sodomymcscurvylegs

“People are naturally lazy and will never do any kind of work for free.”

Minecraft Players:

emberpanda

this is from actually from 2014! here’s what this year’s version looks like.

slimesauce-deactivated20180325

sleepy-st0rm

hi what the Fuck

red-gekkouga

WHAT-

brainscrewz

tbh if someone just handed me a pressure washer and set me loose in the streets i would go into a trance and just start hosing shit down indiscriminately. it's not a question of how much i could clean, but how long until i get hit by a car and die

plasmalogical

i was talking with my brothers yesterday and we decided the best way to own a guy who takes off his shirt to fight you is to pick his shirt up and put it on