It's sad that HOMELANDER respects Becca as a mother more than her own husband does.
I know I am #1 Dad!Butcher defender and have written meta about how sad and sweet the moment in the cabin is when he is basically forced to look at Ryan for the first time and understands this is only a scared 8-year-old instead of the spawn of Satan. But how sad is it that it was necessary? How sad it is that he needed to be visually reminded that Becca has a son whom she LOVES, deeply? Butcher, not even I can defend that, although I sympathize.
At his core, unfortunately, Butcher is selfishly protective. He HAS a protective streak, and he WILL kill for his loved ones, but at the same time, there is a sort of motive of... almost self-preservation behind it? He outsources his sanity and non-violent actions to other people. He knows he is a monster without Becca, but that really only puts pressure on Becca to be present in his life OR ELSE. Same with Lenny. Same with Hughie. Apparently, same with Kessler if we believe the shifter. In a way, same with Ryan, although since they usually have a bit of distance between them and only see each other sporadically, it usually works out better for them.
How does this play into what you said, I hear people ask. Easy: Butcher wants old Becca back because he craves the feeling of peace he had when she was around.
It's actually interesting because while obviously their situation is so unique due to Becca's tragic sexual assault and then the subsequent hiding away without a word to her husband, there's A LOT of stories of men not being able to accept their wives as mothers once there's a baby at home. Be it because they see the kid as a sort of rivalry to the wife's attention, or be it simply because their wife has changed with her new role and they have a hard time adjusting to the change due to not having gone through the pregnancy themselves like the woman has and finding it harder to realize the 'old times' of being a couple are gone now. Even if it is a very planned addition to the family and not, like with Becca, finding out your wife has had a kid for many years by now, on top of everything else.
So I guess Butcher isn't particularly alone in his sentiments, but that still doesn't excuse them.
Anyway. I'm sorry I used your very excellent meta to soapbox about my Butcher grievances. Many, many times I have thought about his very selfishly motivated relationships with the people around him, though, and this really brought those thoughts back.
I LOVE BUTCHER, I PROMISE. I know there's a soft core to this asshole. But my God, is it deep inside, and my God is it a raw diamond with all the edges that come with such a gem.
