Starbucks killed my soul

Rants and raves from a bitchy barista. Submit stories, pics, and rate my coffee requests.

[thebaristalifeofficial]

View this post on Instagram

A classic 🤣😂 #FarewellObama #BaristaLife

[baristacoffee]

Photo dump of coffee and LA by [email protected] http://flic.kr/p/QGzhsR

[dont-touch-my-juice]

moodboard

[bitchbarista]

me @ work

[imightbeacoffeesnob]

I know I’m not the only one who thinks this every time

[bitchbarista]

thanks pal except I’m not a customer I made this for myself on my half I don’t make other baristas make stupid shit like this if I’m making dumb fucking drinks I do it myself so fuck you tooooooo

[bitchbarista]

I call this my magic poop smoothie looks gross, tastes like victory just a strawberry banana with a pack of blueberries, few scoops of matcha, pump of creme frapp base, extra ice, I think that was it??? I just threw some shit in a blender and hoped for the best

[yourdailydoseofcaffeine]

[tbhliv-deactivated20181214]

i express all of my emotions by saying “fuck” in varying tones

[thebaristalifeofficial]

View this post on Instagram

Not for the faint of heart 😅 @howtobasic gets us #BaristaLife #LatteArt #WaitForIt #Savage

[bitchbarista]

I'm coming back and I wanted this to be my first post

[bitchbarista]

I'm on a leave of absence again got some shit going on sooo I might not post a lot lately sorry lovlies ✌️️

[chaos-has-a-rhythm-blog-deactiv]

The science of Starbucks:

Sugar cookies shaped like flowers: low sales Sugar cookies shaped like pumpkins: one of the most popular selling pastries of the season

Same sugar cookie, different shape.

Literally proves that if you slap the name “pumpkin” on anything, white people will lose their shit.

[bitchbarista]

today I had an insufferable woman in drive and I need to tell you about it 
so I was on drive bar, doing ok in a bit of an afternoon rush, we have one person soloing window and DTO and she was talking to the customer in the window so I jump in to take an order on the headset 
and this lady is like 
“grande doubleshot in a venti cup with ice to the top and I want a splenda, none of the classic and nonfat milk instead” 
clearly sounds like a starbucks doubleshot on ice, the drink that is on our menu that is made with espresso and ice and classic and milk 
so I ring her up for a grande doubleshot with all the mods, tell her the total of $3 something and ask her to pull for forward, continue making drinks 
“lady? lady???” 
the girl in window answer like yes can I help you? 
“did you say $3.23? that’s not right it’s supposed to be 2.10” 
and she goes into this fucking rant getting all huffy about she orders this at every starbucks, something about her daughter and volleyball, everywhere she goes it’s the same, and something about she only gets charged for 2 shots of espresso and blah blah blah 
and I tell the other partner ok maybe she just wants an iced espresso? and this poor girl is trying to clarify her drink order and make sure that we are getting the right thing 
and THIS BITCH 
is like in the snottiest tone 
“you should really know this, I get this all the time” 
bitch you ain’t special 
if you get it all the time YOU should know what the fuck you’re ordering 
so we end up ringing her up for an iced doppio with the mods 
and I make it and of course the cup is like half ice, that’s what happens when you get an iced doppio in a venti cup, even with the standard amount of milk 
she gets to the window, starts complaining it’s wrong and wants more milk 
and I’m a petty bitch so I only added a tiny bit more and sent her on her merry way 
like if you want it filled to the fucking top with milk order a fucking latte or pay the fucking upcharge for extra dairy 
and the thing is, if this lady didn’t have such a fucking shit attitude we would have tried a lot harder to help her? 
but if you want to be rude and impatient? fine bitch fuck if I care if your dumb ass drink is right
/rant

[latte-art]

A brewtiful coffee ☕️. (by carol.eats)

[serenadidntdeservetogetintoyale]

[saintlukas]

this healed me

[babydreamgirl-deactivated201902]

Me as well

[bitchbarista]

soooo I'm trying to learn latte art and today I managed to (kind of) make a rosetta! it's far from perfect but I'm improving! I actually made a few but this was the only one I took a picture of

[justinripley]

[battlships]

“Captain America needs my help. There’s no better reason to get back in.”

Samira Wiley as Sam Wilson

#WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME #SAMIRA WILEY AS SAM WILSON?? #THIS ISN’T FAIR #I NEED IT SO BADLY NOW BUT IT WON’T HAPPEN #YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED #(BUT NOT REALLY BECAUSE THIS IS FLAWLESS)

[caelestys]

#HER NAME IS EVEN SAM WIL #THIS IS SO PERFECT #I CANT BREATHE

[boopifer]

@ink-phoenix!!!!!!!

[absolutepie]

@sashayed!!!!!!!

[sashayed]

THIS IS WHAT I’M SAYING!!!

[bitchbarista]

new fav fall/winter partner drink ☕️🍂🍃🍎

fuck PSLs, this shit is where it’s at

I’ve always loved the caramel apple spice, but I made it taste even more like fall 😍😍😍

ok so I did a grande caramel apple spice, only 1 pump cinnamon dolce, add 1 pump caramel and 2 pumps chai

FUCKING DELCIOUS MAN I AM SO READY FOR FALL

[werewolfpresident]

If you want get real weird try splashing some lemonade into the steaming pitcher with the apple juice. I do that with just 1 pump of chai and it tastes like mulled cider.

[bitchbarista]

😱😱😱😱😱 u r a genius