[bitterblock]

          tfw no muse for maaya

[bitterblock]

saltysetter:

Sits on a lap.

.... pokes her tum.

[bitterblock]

kanoace:

“that really won’t be needed. you see.. he really has a good side. he loves skating so much, works so hard for it and has just as many insecurities as anyone else. some people tend to forget he’s still only 19 years old..”

     ⌞so ... you’re saying  D O N ‘ T  text ma-chan ..⌝   there are the barest traces of disappointment as cellphone is safely returned to pocket, features the slightest bit pinched. sometimes she forgets threatening other people isn’t the best way to make friends.

[bitterblock]

“We like him, despite his many, many frustrating quirks!”

♛ / kanoace / accepting.

     ⌞… i don’t get it.. he sounds like a royal pain in the ass. if the bad outweighs the good, doesn’t it make the most sense to get rid of him ? i know a guy who knows a guy who could do that for you.⌝

[blythestethics]

SENTENCE STARTERS: GHOSTBUSTERS (2016)

“I know God makes no mistake. But he must have been drunk when he made Gertrude’s personality.” “Well, books can’t fly and neither can babies.” “Is it even more funny if I tell you it came from the front?” “How are you eating right now?” “Try saying no to these salty parabolas.” “Ain’t no bitches going to hunt no ghosts.” “Oh my gosh, did you hear that thing? It might be a ghost…no it is a bird.” “You want to use the bathroom? There is a perfectly good bathroom upstairs at Starbucks.” “It is not about the end result, it is about the journey.” “I thought the floating hot dog implied a ghost was holding it.” “An aquarium is a submarine for fish.” “I don’t have a cat. I have a dog named Mike Hat.” “Whatever they are no one should have to encounter that type of evil. Except your girls.” “I am joining the club.” “I can borrow a car from my uncle.” “Stonebrook theater. There is a goat on the loose.” “This music is so terrible it is making him angry. Play something gentle!” “Charge the lights. Create the vortex. Break the variables.” “Why are you pretending to catch ghosts?” “That man went through the wrong door.” “If it is a crime to look good, guilty as charged!” “If the cat is out of the bag, you can’t put it back in.” “Please don’t be like the mayor in Jaws.” “I don’t drive to Chinatown.” “I don’t drive wackos.” “I ain’t ‘fraid of no ghosts!” “Who is the flying beef cake?” “I feel like the slime is after me personally.” “Forgot about my new toys.” “I guess he’s going to Queens - he’s going to be the third scariest thing on that train.” “Why am I operating the untested nuclear laser?” “It’s 2040. Our president is a plant!” “You guys, this is exactly how I pictured my death!” “Sorry. I can’t buy you another one.” “That’s where I saw that weird sparking thing.” “Do you have any idea how many federal regulations you are breaking on a daily basis?” “Okay, room full of nightmares.” “Whoa, nobody called for a Clark Kent strippergram!” “I’ve heard terrible things about you.” “Ma'am, can you tell us where you got the world’s tiniest bowtie?” “It’s really easy sit there and be the naysayer when you don’t actually do anything.” “Safety lights are for dudes.” “Okay, but we’re talking about relocating. No one’s being killed here. Right?” “I’m just gonna go ahead and take off. How about that?” “Come out, come out, wherever you are…” “Booyah! Emphasis on the boo.” “Is it the boobs you don’t like? Because I can make them… bigger.” “Okay, I don’t know if it was a race thing or a lady thing, but I’m mad as hell.” “Charge the lines, create the vortex, break the barriers.” “I’m not good in a fight.” “It’s on books on tape, too. Only, I know how to read.” “Well, that thing is having the time of its life.” “The hat is too much, right? Is it the wig or the hat?” “I will kick the unliving crap out of you, and you, and ESPECIALLY you!” “That stuff went everywhere, by the way. In every crack.” “Oh my god, you killed a pilgrim!” “I would have used aluminum but I’m crazy.” “I’m smelling both electrical discharge and isotopic decay.” “It smells like burnt baloney and regrets down here.” “We just gave a ghost a nuke, we should probably run.” “I’m just looking for a reasonable ratio of wontons to soup, this is madness!” “I’m sorry you’re having a soup crisis.” “It’s always the sad, pale ones.” “We like him, despite his many, many frustrating quirks!”

[koibalt]

hello friends ! If you could, please like/reblog this post if you’re interested in interacting with a new Haikyuu!! OC that goes to Niiyama Girl’s High ? Pages are basically up and functional and all that’s needed are new friends to write with !

[bitterblock]

ruffles maa-chan's hair

she’s not entirely sure what is happening, but she doesn’t mind it–probably.

     ⌞jun-chan.. ??⌝

[lcvelymemes]

» reaction meme

Send in a symbol for my muse to react to one of these.

💋  your muse kissing mine

❤  your muse telling mine “I love you”

👅  your muse offering mine oral

🖕    your muse giving mine the finger

💍  your muse proposing to mine

🎁  your muse giving mine a present

⭐   your muse inviting mine to see the stars

💐  your muse giving mine flowers

💰  your muse giving mine money

🚗  your muse offering mine a ride

🍴  your muse inviting mine for lunch

🍨  your muse inviting mine for ice cream

🎤  your muse inviting mine for karaoke

📷  your muse asking mine to model

🐈  your muse giving mine a pet

🐎  your muse asking mine to go horse riding together

🚿  your muse asking mine to join them in the shower

⛄  your muse asking mine to help build a snowman

❄  your muse throwing a snowball at mine

[bitterblock]

listen i am 100% sure maaya would have major beef with most of the members of any girls team nd probably a good majority of the boys teams too like she’s a condescending bitch nd she doesn’t rly care enough about people’s feelings to hold back lmao 

[trcshymemes]

GAME GRUMPS SENTENCE STARTERS. 

❝ God, what if we just fucked one day? ❞

❝ Don’t sass me in front of the internet. ❞

❝ Follow your stupid fucking dreams. ❞

❝ Come at me scrub lord, I’m ripped. ❞

❝ I just wanna have sex with space. ❞

❝ Get in the tub with me, daddy. ❞

❝ Will you just relax and let me kill for money? ❞

❝ That sounds like your problem. Fuck you. ❞

❝ Stay in school. Don’t do drugs. Eat your teeth. ❞ 

❝ Make like a tree and fucking die. ❞

❝ Dude just…just pity laugh at least. ❞

❝ Man, Club Penguin’s gotten weird. ❞

❝ We are like the Stephen Kings of stupid. ❞

❝ Why do you enjoy watching me suffer so? ❞

❝ Do I have to jerk you off to blow your mind? ❞

❝ I haven’t had so much fun since I killed my parents. ❞

❝ Unfortunately I had sex with a guy/girl over the weekend. ❞

❝ What’s a vegetarian zombie say? GRAAAAAAAINS. ❞

❝ Revenge is a best dish served fuck you. ❞

❝ Who wears pants anymore? So 2015. ❞

❝ I need an ice cream sandwich and a gentle blowjob. ❞

❝ Don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya. ❞

❝ The bananas has gone bad! ❞

❝ I cared for those bananas! I raised them with my own two feet! ❞

❝ Did you know I’m a professional joke? My life is a joke. ❞

❝ What if everyone just had constant helicopter dick? ❞

❝ [ name ], does getting me wet fill you with determination? ❞

❝ I can’t prove that someone ISN’T a reptilian. ❞

❝ Wouldn’t it be funny if, like, you lost a family member? ❞

❝ These balls are coming at me fast and furious. It’s like that movie, ‘Speed’. ❞ 

❝ Call me One Direction ‘cause my relevancy is dropping by the day. ❞ 

❝ One time I killed a person and I didn’t report it to the police. ❞

❝ I wanna take a girl to the Grand Canyon, fuck her, and throw her in. ❞ 

❝ Nothing like a gunshot wound to the face to really mellow someone out. ❞ 

❝ If I can’t be the best, I sure as hell can be the worst! ❞ 

❝ [ name ], I’m on a date with a guy/girl right now and you’re embarrassing me. ❞

❝ I’ve made a decision. I’m gonna in the kitchen, gonna open the dishwasher, and I’m gonna climb inside. ❞

❝ I do apologize for my actions, even though they were totally and completely justified. ❞

❝ I could pee on this couch, right now, no problem, while looking you directly in the eyes.❞ 

❝ Look, you tell a couple jokes as a dad and suddenly everyone’s like ‘you’re making dad jokes.’ ❞

❝ All of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are blue, except for three of them. And there are four. ❞ 

❝ And Abraham said unto Moses, ‘Bro, dude, aliens.’ ❞

❝ I’m gonna throw you out the window. We don’t even have any windows in this room…I’m gonna carve out a window and throw you through it. ❞ 

❝ DO IT YOU SACK OF SHIT! – Sorry. That didn’t come out as encouraging as I meant it to. ❞

❝ [ name ], if there’s one thing I can be totally honest about, it’s that I would happily lie to your face.❞

❝ If I took pole-dancing, I would be worried that it would be too erotic for everybody else. ❞

❝ Next time we make love, [ name ], would you please refer to me as your sweet cakey treasure? ❞   

❝ I try to show at least one other human-being my butt hole every single day. ❞

❝ The only people who don’t like sluts are the people who don’t get any. ❞ 

❝ Have you ever though of a career in driving people fucking insane? Because you are already a PRO at it. ❞ 

❝ I am actively looking for ways to get you to shut the fuck up. ❞

❝ First of all, you have to stop calling it ‘Mary Jane.’ That’s the first rule of stonerdom. People will think you’re a fucking narc. ❞

❝ First of all, no one says ‘pot-eyes’, you fuckin’ narc. ❞

❝ If by OK you mean like on the inside I’m just going ‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!’ then yes, I’m quite OK ❞

❝ When you walk outside there are three elements of nature that you must avoid: snow, wind, and bees. ❞ 

❝ Could you imagine if you unlocked outfits in real life? Like, “Congratulations you wiped your ass, here’s a new shirt.” ❞

[bitterblock]

kuiin:

           With a lunch box filled to the brim, packed with all the nutrients she needed for the day, she was healthy and ready for training and whatever else life threw at her. But also, she didn’t mind sharing, knowing full well why Maaya came over to invite her. She easily slipped her arm through the other’s, locking elbows, leading her out the classroom so they could eat out on such a nice day. “Do you have anything for lunch to eat, or do we need to stop by the cafeteria?”

     ⌞i have melon bread.⌝

as far as she’s concerned, melon bread and a few bites from masami’s lunch will be  M O R E  than enough to get her through the remainder of the day. never one to put up much resistance, maaya keeps pace with the captain, hefts her bag higher on her shoulder. she’s got a makeup exam she really should be studying for, but academics could never hold her attention ; she’d have to be forced to study.

[bitterblock]

♛ / sweetspiker

     ⌞kacchan ...⌝   she doesn’t mean to look so scary, honest,   ⌞your house is past the convenience store ... right ? i’ll walk with you. my brother said there’ve been some high school girls who’ve gone missing around that area.⌝

[bitterblock]

❝ You’re better than me. ❞

♛ / sweetspiker / accepting.

     ⌞kacchan ..⌝   discomfort settles like a rock in her belly, though features remain impassive as ever. perhaps she should reach out to kanoka ? fingers twitch in an  A B O R T E D  gesture, arms folding across slim chest instead.

     ⌞it’s only to be expected, you’re still just a second year. you’ve got another year to catch up.⌝   perhaps a bit  harsh … she doesn’t need her team disliking her ..   ⌞… i can help you with blocking after practice …  if you want ..⌝

[bitterblock]

♛ / kuiin

     ⌞macchan, eat lunch with me ...⌝   monotone words, features as  S T O I C  as ever. though a loner by nature, maaya was willing to sacrifice peace for the  opportunity  to steal a bite from the captain’s lunch.

[bitterblock]

❝ I set the car on fire. ❞

♛ / kvniira / accepting.

     ⌞… why would you tell me that, i don’t want to be guilty by association..⌝

[trcshymemes]

SEVEN PSYCHOPATHS SENTENCE STARTERS.

❝ What the hell happened? ❞

❝ I set the car on fire. ❞

❝ You’re gorgeous. ❞

❝ It’s their blood. ❞

❝ Where are your guns? ❞

❝ You’re better than me. ❞

❝ Put your hands up! ❞

❝ You’re fucked from birth. ❞

❝ Are you pissed at me, baby? ❞

❝ Why would I be pissed at you? ❞

❝ Of course we’re friends.❞ 

❝ Come with me. Please. ❞

❝ I wanna jump inside your pants. ❞

❝ Are you looking at something? ❞ 

❝ Why did you kill all of those people? ❞

❝ What’s with your sour fucking puss? ❞

❝ Are we gonna have a peyote party? ❞

❝ Friends don’t make their friends die. ❞

❝ Are you nervous because we’re killing a chick? ❞

❝ I’m going to be over to kill you on Tuesday. ❞

❝ Maybe the world just doesn’t understand you. ❞

❝ Poodles always look like they’ve been crying. ❞

❝ We all gotta dream, don’t we? ❞

❝ Have some pride in yourself. ❞

❝ Fuck the cops! Fuck them! ❞ 

❝ You ever shoot a guy in his eyeball? ❞

❝ Sorry if I haven’t been a very good friend to you. ❞

❝ Don’t ever say I never do anything for you. ❞

❝ Seriously, just fuck off! I’m not in the fucking mood! ❞

❝ I stabbed a guy in the ear once. Ice pick, right in his fucking ear. ❞

❝ You think I’m not serious just because I carry a rabbit? ❞

❝ Are you out of your alcoholic fucking mind? ❞

❝ You’ve eaten too many hallucinogenic cactuses tonight, [ name. ]❞

❝ I don’t have a drinking problem. I just like drinking. ❞ 

❝ Sorry for hitting you in the face so hard. ❞

❝ Sometimes I think God’s gone crazy. ❞

❝ No shoot-outs, no pay-outs. Just human beings talking. ❞

❝ You might want to stop drinking if this is how you’re gonna behave. ❞

❝ It’s impossible for someone’s head to actually explode, isn’t it?  ❞

❝ When are you gonna get a job that’s not just stealing from people? ❞

❝ This guy just telephoned a psycho-killer to come psycho-kill us! ❞

❝ God loves us. I know it. He’s just got a funny way of showing it sometimes. ❞

❝ I didn’t mean to break his nose. His nose was just in the middle of where I was punching. ❞

[whambamthankyoubram]

more texts for you bitches

ANGSTY TEXTS, BITCH

[text] You should have told me you wanted me out of your life. [text] I should have never let you back into my life. [text] Okay [muse’s name] what’s the deal, pretty sure this is you…listen if you want me to leave you alone, please just tell that. [text] Please don’t walk away. [text] Please don’t do this. [text] When are you going to realize I want nothing to do with you? [text] You want nothing to do with me, I get it. [text] I’m an idiot. You fooled me again. [text] When I think things are about to change … I’m always proven wrong. [text] I just want you to be happy. And you’ll be happier without me. [text] I just hate that someone could make me trust [him/her/them] the way that I did [text] The truth is I’m not over you. [text] The truth is I never really wanted to be with you. [text] I’m seeing someone else. [text] How the hell did you get my number, stalker? [text] You’re so selfish. [text] I just saw you leave with [her/him/them]. [text] FUCK YOU AND YOUR DUMB CUTE FACE

LOVING TEXTS, BITCH

[text] Did I tell you today that you’re the most adorable? Cause, yeah. [text] Be careful. [text] I’m only saying it because I love you. [text] I’m only saying it because I care about you. [text] Okay, I’m bringing coffee. [text] I’m thinking dinner and a movie later this week? [text] Let me take you out, please? [text] Let me make you dinner tonight. [text] I want you to be happy. [text] You’re always safe with me. [text] I can’t stop thinking about you. [text] I seriously don’t know what I’d do without you. [text] I know you may not feel like you are, but you are loved. And important. Please don’t forget that. [text] It was so good seeing you. [text] You don’t need this shit. [text] I’ll be there in five minutes. [text] Let me help, please? [text] You’re important to me. [text] Stop falling asleep in the bathtub. You’re going to drown and die and leave me and I’m not having that. [text] I would gladly watch Netflix and eat Thai with you any day. [text] I’d give up my phone charger AND the last piece of gum for you. That’s love. [text] Hey beautiful no judgment but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??

ANGRY TEXTS, BITCH

[text] If you don’t want me to bust your window, I suggest you answer the phone. Now. [text] To quote Mean Girls, you’re a fugly slut. [text] Are you SERIOUSLY bringing that up right now!? [text] Lose my number, asshole. [text] You’re so predictable and obnoxious. And it’s not only me who thinks so. [text] …The least you could do is answer, wtf. [text] You’re a piece of shit human being and an even worse friend. [text] This is YOUR FAULT. And you can’t even pretend like it isn’t, because you know it is. [text] Why couldn’t you just stay out of it? [text] Holy fucking shit, take a hint, asshole. [text] Go fuck yourself. [text] What the fucking hell is wrong with you? [text] You can take your stuff back as long as I don’t light it on fire first. [text] I have cramps and a migraine so you do NOT want to mess with me right now [text] Bye and have a very fuck you day

SEXY TEXTS, BITCH

[text] Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this. [text] Why are you so hot…like honestly, it’s not fair. [text] Yeah, you looked good in your [dress/shirt/pants] last night but really, they looked way better on my floor. [text] Come over. With condoms. [text] You should come over, clothing optional. [text] I feel like a nasty slut and I LOVE IT [text] Sorry I got drunk and texted you about my sex life [text] Sex on a rooftop - trashy or adventurous? [text] If you’re not at my apartment, shirtless, in five minutes, I will be personally offended. [text] I don’t think he likes that I’m always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together [text] It’ll be like The Notebook, except with way more of my penis. [text] I didn’t know that all of his brothers would be hot and musically inclined, too. That’s a dick move on behalf of biology. [text] I DON’T WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH. [text] So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking? [text] I just need some of your time and all of your body. [text] I am available for nakedness [text] I think about [him/her/them] when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love

DRUNK TEXTS, BITCH

[drunk text] So wat are you really over me no w [drunk text] AND I UNFOLLOWED YOU ON INSTAGRAM TOO, BITCH [drunk text] You are my queen and my savior and I love you forever [drunk text] You are the most beautiful girl I have ever known [drunk text] I’m eating macaroni and cheese on a slice of pizza and autocorrect just wrote that text for me pretty much, what’s your night like [drunk text] Listen up slut, you’re one hot piece of ass and if [he/she/they] doesn’t realize it, it’s their loss [drunk text] but what’s the point of a Disney sing off party if you’re not here. You have to be be the Pumbaa to my Timon [drunk text] Can you pls remind me tomorrow of how much of a fool I made myself tonight [drunk text] FUCK YOU YOU’RE GORGEOUS [drunk text] I think maybe you and me should like go out and eat pizza or something check yes or no [drunk text] Please don’t hate me I’m too tired and too dizzy to be hated [drunk text] I hate (him/her) but less when I’m drinking. Thanks, alcohol. [drunk text] Omf g you need to get over here now I think I’m dyin [drunk text] SWEEEEEEEET CAROLINE