...wie Schach...

Sideblog specifically for football. Because football-me and normal-me are two different people somehow.

[football-sucks]

the verticals vs the horizontals is tomorrow

[mooncustafer]

*gets out a flat-head screwdriver*

[lurkinglurkerwholurks]

[spiral-archives]

CBDHDHSBS SOBBING OVER THIS/POS (I LOVE THIS SM)

[astraldemise]

i know unicorns are usually silver or lavender with those skinny horse legs built for running but id like to see more unicorns with natural colouration built like tanks like these beasts

[astraldemise]

we need like a scale of unicorn. on one end you have amalthea last unicorn who is the peak of elegant otherworldly unicorns with silver and lavender colours. we need the opposite of that. we need a unicorn who looks like the horse version of a trucker

[astraldemise]

like this

[rcris123]

I GOT YOU!! ✨✨✨

[predstrogen]

i have hired this fucking thing to stare at you

[maythray]

im rehiring this fucking thing to stare at you

[onmywayoutokay-deactivated20240]

[oceanicpride]

Wicked dolls by Mattel have the wrong website of the film printed on the packaging which directs you to an adult film website.

[lil-peebo]

Every day this movie gets better and better

[noirpoison1]

[latinare]

columbas indulgete

[magicwillow]

I just want y’all to know that one time during lockdown I played a lot of Minecraft because I had nothing better to do and then later I was going to go into my room after a shower so I could go back to being a hermit but it was dark so I just thought “oop, can’t go in there, there’ll be skeletons spawning there and they’ll shoot at me”

And for LIKE FIVE WHOLE SECONDS I didn’t question it and I just turned on the lights and walked out into the living room to wait it out, just thankful I had my pajamas on already so I didn’t have to fight off the shooty skeletons in my dark closet where there might be some creepers too

And then all of a sudden I was like “Wait what the frig skeletons aren’t real” and then just went back into my room

And I think about that a lot. So if ANY OF YOU dare to think that I have any more than three and a half braincells on a really good day, just please remember this and know that you are sorely mistaken

[offi95]

I hate to break it to you but skeletons are, in fact, real. There's one incredibly close to you at this very second

[max1461]

this is like that one summer I played too much chess, and then I was standing in line at the grocery store at a slightly diagonal angle to the person in front of me and I had this light go off in my brain like “weak pawn structure this is your chance” before I realized that it was real life actually.

[nikibogwater]

Gonna be honest here, if I was in Zelda's place, I would have such a massive crush on Link, it'd be downright infuriating. Cute boy with excellent taste in cloaks shows up outta nowhere to beat the crap out of the demon pig that kidnapped me, makes sure to get me out safely even as he's being swallowed by the void, then when I go asking around town about him, I find out he's the sweetest, most selfless guy on Hylia's green earth?? My dude's been fighting the rift monsters by himself even though no one asked him to and he gets nothing in return for it??? He lost his voice rescuing a bunch of children from the shadow realm???? He really rushed out to save me despite never having met me before??!!!!?!?! Yeah, there's no way I'm busting him out of the Still World without a marriage proposal at the ready.

[thunderwhenhepurrs]

Look but also imagine Link’s POV.

He goes to save the Princess. His first glimpse of her is in a gem. Beautiful but frail, like a trapped insect.

He falls with a last arrow. Haunted by the idea: did I save her? Was my last act worth it? Was I enough?

Slowly, over days and weeks, he loses hope.

Then he sees her from the inside of his own cage.

She is no fragile insect.

She is a hurricane of chaotic magic. She makes the air into objects to slam her enemies with. She calls monsters to her aid. She suddenly glows and charges enemies with his sword.

Then they’re working together, and she cleverly bypasses every place he gets stuck. He cannot speak. He cannot do anything but nod.

But even if he had his voice, he is not sure he could find the words to suit this deadly firestorm of a princess that came to his rescue.

In the end, when they are about to face darkness itself, she meets his eyes.

And then she jumps first.

Link’s not sure what love feels like, but he has an inkling it feels something like this.

[microwavedmetal]

This is as unhinged as this laptop soon will be

[lloerwyn-deactivated20201104]

Every word that starts with an N should have a silent G in front. Gnorway. Gnuclear. Gnervous system. Gnipples.

[esoanem]

At some point my brain decided based on the word knee that body parts beginning with a n sound should have a silent k (particularly the word neck) so I am against gnipples wholeheartedly, it should clearly be knipples!

[lloerwyn-deactivated20201104]

How about a compromise? Gn words and kn words get switched. So now it’s gneecaps and gnowledge, but it’s also knome and Knosticism.

[lunamargarita]

the problem with this is that it doesn’t account for the original dilemma, which was gnipples vs. knipples 

I, for one, think it should be pnipples, like pneumonia 

[lloerwyn-deactivated20201104]

Okay, but what about mnipples, like ‘mnemonic’?

[thatwheezingsoundthetardismakes]

Gkpmnipples (pronounced “nipples”)

[anasandorpygoscelis-deactivated]

This is the kind of content I remain for. (and y'all provide on the regular, I love you)

[definitelynotclayface]

Female presenting gkpmnipples

[evilkitten3]

what the fuck are you people doing, trying to invent neo-french?

[astrophysicist-not-princess]

No, we’re inventing Gkpmneo-French

[nuclear-mech-wizard-deactivated]

don’t try and read this phonetically you’ll have a stroke

[miffyy94]

[noartnowritingsorry]

Oh no…

[autistic-speedbump]

[sakutarousadventure]

big fan of attributing things to "the curse" recently and not elaborating

[jumbleverse]

w- what's the curse?

[jumbleverse]

WHAT'S THE CURSE, OP?

[sakutarousadventure]

[wtffanfiction-de]

Fandom: Harry Potter

„„Wer seit ihr überhaupt das ihr es wagt so über die begabtesten Zauberer zu sprechen“

Fragte Alec wütend

„Ich bin Alice Keys und das ist mein Freund Julian …“

Desiree stockte, ihr wollte kein Name mehr einfallen, Hilfe suchend wandte sie sich an Cedric

„Schatz ich kann mir deinen Nachnamen einfach nicht merken, sorry“

Sagte sie und Cedric winkte ab

„Ist ja auch schwer, ich heiße Urbanskyloputan““

[theyatemytailorr]

never in my life did I think that toilet doors would make me so angry

[chongotheartist]

[ballerinaghost-deactivated20190]

I reblog every time for the cartoon lmao

[clairestrogen]

I think if you opened the football door it would just lead to an enormous stadium full of people cheering for you

The other ones would lead to a mall probably

[emily-e-draws]

armor up

[veeranger]

jokes aside i think it’s amazing and heartwarming to see like 4chan incel bros perform the miracle of crawling out of that hole and becoming real human beings and chronicling their journey to realizing that they can be well adjusted happy normal dudes

[cramorant600]

Where’s the post about the guy who turned his life around bc of his shrimp? Bc that’s very relevant here

[cramorant600]

This guy. This makes me so happy

[ruffboi-mags]

I might be a little overwrought at the moment due to heat and exhaustion, but I legit just started crying. I'm so happy for this guy and his shrimp.