It doesn't matter... It's only time

Sometimes you need to escape and fly away, sometimes the world is not enough and sometimes it is too much...

[toastbutteregg]

i needed to read this today so im sharing it to all of you!!

[thereignclub-trc]

If you have no other option, you will succeed.

[thereignclub-trc]

"I'll figure it out" is a powerful statement. Yes, you may not know what to do next or where to even begin... but you are ready and willing to do what it takes. You will in fact figure it out.

[soaringsearingphoenix]

The worst part of human adulthood is being your own zookeeper

[sufficientlylargen]

I want to stuff a pumpkin full of raw meat and roll it around my enclosure, but I also know that I’ll have to be the one to clean up afterwards :-(

[soaringsearingphoenix]

Take steps to minimize the mess! Put a cheap, disposable plastic tarp down in the area you'll be rolling it around. And.. Maybe recognize your species-specific needs and cook the meat first

[soaringsearingphoenix]

Actually, if we're going for species-specific enrichment, a pumpkin may not be the best solution. We're not built for pouncing on prey or batting it around. We're distinguished by our persistence hunting and tool use

What you should do is put a pack of jerky on top of a roomba, go in another room and count to ten like you're playing hide and seek - or use this time to find a tool to use - and when you come back, try to catch it by setting a trap or by pinning it down with a stick

When you want a greater challenge, have a friend drive an RC car full of jerky around the park, and chase it until it runs out of battery

[adhesivesandscrap]

Aliens trying to cure the Clinical Depression of Humans aboard their ships by theorising Earth-Specific enrichment activites...

[handsome-anne]

I feel like it might work tho

[everythingfox]

Splish Splash

(via)

[hyrude]

was talking with gwen yesterday and she was like “yeah leonard nimoy’s cool. it’s cool that he’s gay” and i was like “he’s not gay. i also thought he was gay but he was just nice. you’re thinking of patrick stewart” and she was like “he’s not gay you’re thinking of stanley tucci” and i, thinking of steve busciemi, said “FROM SPY KIDS?” anyway just checked and none of these people are gay apparently. thanks for reading 

[hyrude]

posts that make people say “stanley tucci IS gay, lol” and then google it and reblog again with “oh, huh. nvm” 

[jubilantpixie]

Everyone here is thinking of Ian McKellen

[cdkwrites]

[lyra689]

I love these actually

[dankmemeuniversity]

[chancemedley116]

[commandtower-solring-go]

These are all brands of anti-depressants

[dogmotif-deactivated20240505]

if you're not obsessed with anything weird and niche please try harder. stop going outside for a while. consider getting weirder about the things you already like

[adulthoodisokay]

what a mood

[tedlassogif]

JASON SUDEIKIS AND JAMES LANCE TED LASSO — 3.07 “The Strings That Bind Us”.

[fyblackwomenart]

“Thick and fabulous” by Alisha Petrova 

[theinturnetexplorer]

laser-free diet.

[floatingwithobrien]

y'all need to hear about gerb.

gerb was my high school physics teacher. (gerb is short for mr. gerber.) when we were learning about radiation and whatnot, and we touched on radiation poisoning, gerb decided to tell us a story.

when gerb was in high school, he worked in a supermarket. a cashier. there was this one little old lady, mrs. cassopolis, who was a regular. mrs. cassopolis firmly believed that the lasers used to scan her food items would give her radiation poisoning. they tried to explain that’s not a thing. but old cass wouldn’t hear a word of it.

the employees had to punch in every. last. grocery. item. MANUALLY.

and this woman would buy cartfulls of food every week, like any good grandma trying to feed her five children and eighteen grandchildren every time they come for a Sunday visit. so pretty soon, the employees figured out a strategy to get her on her way and get on with their lives.

one or more employees would distract old cass while the cashier would scan all the items he could as fast as humanly possible while she wasn’t paying attention.

now this supermarket had a rewards program for its most efficient workers. the computer would track how quickly the cashiers scanned items, and how many total they scanned in one day, that kind of thing. so one day, gerb’s boss came to him and said “uh,”

“you scanned three hundred items in six minutes last Tuesday during your shift” and gerb says “i recall” “that’s about four times faster than anything i’ve ever seen” and gerb says “yea ok” “jeremy what happened?”

and gerb says

“i had to save a little old woman from placebo radiation”

[speaklolita]

[prewars]

New York Magazine

[cuppatealove]

Oh these are lovely! Posts about hilariously bad punctuation become depressing after a while. How joyful to celebrate the witty and masterful!

[speaklolita]

[prewars]

New York Magazine

[cuppatealove]

Oh these are lovely! Posts about hilariously bad punctuation become depressing after a while. How joyful to celebrate the witty and masterful!

[onceland]

[turtletotem]

I have long said that in order for any comedy to truly succeed as a story, there has to be meat beneath the jokes. There has to be that moment when it is not funny any more.

This. This is that moment.

[agooduniverse]

#honestly even though this is one of the best scripts there ever has been  #that is the greatest line  #it’s /groundbreaking/ in terms of how it frames vengeance quests; temptation beats; inigo as a comedic figure throughout the movie  #you know because this is a happy book (film) that inigo will get his revenge  #but will he get JUSTICE  #will he get ABSOLUTION  #will he get CATHARSIS  #those are the things we don’t know  #and that line sells it more than any of the previous scene (x)

[teenwitched-archive-deactivated]

also:

[stars-bean]

[animentality]