[goodgirlargo]

[riovidalll]

lena be like

[riovidalll]

when i came to this city i promised myself that i would never trust anyone again and…and then i met you, and you chipped away at my armor with your warmth and your earnestness and you convinced me to trust in people, in friendship again, and against my better judgment i did…all the while, telling you about my achilles heel: betrayal. i confided in you that everyone in my past had betrayed me…about how much it…hurt…to have someone you love lie to you and betray you- i spelled it out to you over and over again, essentially begging you not to violate my trust, begging you not to prove once again that i was a fool…you reassured me ad nauseam you would never lie to me, that you’d never hurt me, and all the while there wasn’t a single honest moment in our friendship…i killed my brother for you! for our friends! don’t you understand what you’ve done! 

[anarcho-smarmyism]

all adults have a responsibility toward the safety+well-being of all children they’re around, irl and online. i can’t believe this #hot take is controversial like. at all

[lookashiny]

In real life? Perhaps. I’m not going to parent someone else’s kid, but if I see a kid in immediate danger and I’m closest, I’d help them. Online? Fuck no. I’m not your mom or your teacher. Take control of your own internet experience or go talk to your parents, not me.

[anarcho-smarmyism]

taking responsibility for how your actions affect children is not “parenting” them, Jesus fucking Christ, the notes of this post are full of childish self-centered freaks

[cop-disliker69]

Can you give an example of what this is about? This is all very abstract.

[anarcho-smarmyism]

@stardustsurfing​ (also asked for an explanation, so i thought I’d tag them)

Sure thing.

-Don’t bully or allow/ignore bullying kids. This one sounds obvious but in practice, people are like, weirdly excited to shit on kids that annoy them. (More on that later.) You shouldn’t bully people in general, but it goes doubly for kids.

-Keep porn/gore away from kids. If you’re on tumblr, this is relatively easy; tag things accordingly, and/or say you don’t want minors following you because you post that, and if you do realize a kid is using your blog to access that stuff, block them. It’s not like it’s going to insta-solve the problem, but it’s a pretty decent step 1. Additionally, if someone specifies “X blogs don’t rb” or whatever, and you’re an X blog, don’t reblog it. (This isn’t just kids and kink blogs, this pretty much is just common decency.)

-Interact with kids appropriately. It’s not appropriate to talk to kids about porn or kinks or sex in general unless you’re their parents, teachers, or have like…talked to the parents and gotten permission. I know that kids are curious about sex and teenagers are like, generally horny, but if you’re hanging out with a kid (irl or online) and the topic comes up, you need to either insist on changing the topic or like, leave. Sometimes online you don’t know how old people are, but if you’re not sure you could ask or check their blog. Same protocol applies to other shit kids shouldn’t talk to adults they don’t know about, tbh. If you’re not sure how to be appropriate, you can always just block them. Again, this isn’t foolproof, but it would still go a long way.

-Be critical of the media you consume, promote, share and create. And here is the one people are actually mad about/assuming this post means, mostly. Look, child porn DOES include teenagers, it DOES include written/drawn child porn, and if you create or distribute it you’re a pedo or a pedo-enabling shithead. Period. Same thing goes for stuff that romanticizes or fetishizes rape, abuse, incest, etc; this isn’t exclusively harmful to children, but it is exponentially more harmful because kids and teenagers really don’t have the life experience/brain development to consume that stuff critically as adults are supposed to be able to. Being surrounded by that shit and treated as though it’s normal and fine because they’re surrounded by a thousand “ship whatever you want! antis are toxic!” and the general idea that anyone who tells you you’re doing something wrong with your ~fandom~ that they’re AUTOMATICALLY free-speech censoring, pearl clutching Puritan “morality police”. *There is totally grey area here. The #discourse is frequently dumb and opportunistic, and just telling everyone not to consume anything “problematic” is not, like, a good plan in general. Art depicts evil and is supposed to; the existence of a rape scene in a piece of media does not make that piece of media pro-rape. However, there are other considerations: is the rape scene described, drawn, or shot in a way that’s meant to seem sexy and appealing? What’s the metatextual reason for this happening? What’s the context and what happens later in the narrative? This is why you’re supposed to critique the media you like; the most productive thing would be to change the response to “thing is problematic” from “fuck you and leave me alone” to “let’s discuss it and whether it’s ethical to consume/how to consume it ethically”. AND STOP!! BITCHING!!! ABOUT “ANTIS””!! Every time this comes up, every “fandom” blog forgets how to goddamn read because yall have made an environment where everyone who criticizes ANY fandom content is an “anti”, and yall demonize “antis” to a fucking ludicrous degree. E.g.:

(dasjfsaldfda;lka;lj WHAT!! “antis” call out people who are like…legally considered predators as well as reylos or whatever!!! what the FUCK do you MEAN)

-Call out people who endanger kids. I don’t mean just abusers and pedophiles (although it’s difficult enough to get people to do even that much), because you can also endanger kids by being irresponsible and selfish in the ways I’ve described. You don’t need to make a call-out post and start a huge fight, but if your mutual is doing the thing, you ought to point out that they’re doing it and that they shouldn’t. Like…DMs work for this.

-Don’t be a cunt in general. Like…just look at some of the responses I’ve gotten to this:

You know the thing that really surprised me about these people? On the by and large, people aren’t saying “Fuck you for thinking I’m hurting kids” -which is the pushback that I would’ve expected. On the by and large, the pushback I’m getting on this post is “Fuck you for saying I should try not to hurt kids”. Ranging from as mild as “I’m not your babysitter” to “you’re an entitled parent (lol) for saying this” to literally dehumanizing kids by calling them “crotch fruit” or “someone else’s problem”, talking about how much they hate kids, saying “fuck em”, etc. I only grabbed the few most recent screenshots cause I’m ready to be done with this post, but as the months have worn on and I’ve seen the backlash to this post, the outright vitriol people have toward kids is bizarre, and somewhat shocking. It’s normal to not like being around kids, but jesus, people really like to be shitty to kids when they step out of line, when they’re not just going “lol not my kid not my problem”.

That attitude is like, 90% of what I was broadly referring to when I first made this post, and the reason that I keep replying to people on it when I know it’s a waste of time. This attitude toward kids, irl and online, hurts them because it normalizes abusive behavior -or, in the case of Fandom Spaces (which is the direction this post has been taken by self-proclaimed “””anti-antis”””), normalizes abuse, incest, pedophilia, etc. When it’s normal and accepted to say “lol i hate kids, i’m not responsible for how i affect kids online”, it’s way easier to be actively shitty to kids and/or just be fucking irresponsible, which can be similarly harmful in the long run. 

TL:DR: Taking basic steps to be responsible around kids is NOT “parenting” or “babysitting” them, and it’s PART OF BEING A FUCKING ADULT. It doesn’t MATTER that it’s more difficult online; you don’t need to solve the whole problem, you don’t need to stop making porn or never talk to minors online, you don’t need to refuse to interact with any “problematic” media, but you DO need to at least admit your actions have an affect on kids and, well…

*Stop calling me a child/parent on this post. I am 21 years old, and I am not a parent, nor do I plan to have kids. I also don’t really give a shit about fandom arguments beyond the fact that it’s the ~fandom blogs~ who are being the most childish on this topic. If you want to pin down a self-serving reason I’m taking this stance, it’s ‘cause I’m a survivor of grooming, CSA and abuse. Saying that people doing this shit/promoting this idea gets kids hurt isn’t conjecture, it’s my lived experience.

[moshifresh]

[murdershegoat]

queerbaiting works (supercorp) because the gays love the characters (supercorp) and then the media latches on (supercorp) and the creators realize it’s good for business (supercorp) and put even more shit (supercorp) for everyone to lap up (supercorp) with no intention of ever making it canon (supercorp) and then the gays just sit there (supercorp) talking about how these bitches are always wearing shades of red and blue (supercorp)

[captaincartervalues]

Lena’s manipulation in 5x04

Lena: I’m just like so stressed. I can’t figure out this science problem but I really think orgasms would help clear my head...

Kara: What are friends for!?!

[buffalorepublic]

Listen I may be a whole ass clown but supercorp is literally romance coded and you can’t tell me other wise

[ko-horan]

[ampervadasz]

[maplebungus-deactivated20221118]

this is honest to god what we should all feel like at all times

[errorschacha]

When you’re enfranchised by a major world power whose elected leadership’s impact is felt worldwide, whose actions as a nation on every level down to its regular citizens’ collective and individual deeds can and do readily produce tumult and noxious, sometimes deadly, consequences worldwide, your barest bare minimum moral obligation to humanity as a whole is to acknowledge your responsibility as a person in a position of outsize power in our world.

Your outsize power is inherent to your American citizenship and enfranchisement; so long as it’s a possibility for you to vote in American elections, you can’t disengage from that power. For you, for everybody your choices affect, a nonvote and a vote are actions of equal consequence. No categorical distinction exists between the two’s contribution to the outcome of the process.

Allowing discomfort derived from your power to take precedence over its responsible exercise—which is of consequence to so many people who, unlike you, have no say whatsoever in America’s government—is abhorrent. There is no nonparticipation. There is no neutrality. These are impossibilities in your position.

[queerchristianaffirmations]

“If same-sex relationships are really sinful, then why do they so often produce good fruit—loving families, open homes, self-sacrifice, commitment, faithfulness, joy? And if conservative Christians are really right in their response to same-sex relationships, then why does that response often produce bad fruit—secrets, shame, depression, loneliness, broken families, and fear?”

— Rachel Held Evans (via gay-there)

[anxietyproblem]

[tenitchyfingers]

so anyway

y’all should watch Pose. It’s legitimately well-written, it’s filled to the brim with black and brown actually trans actresses and gay actors (and they’re all glorious) and it’s genuinely fun but also moving and it narrates important parts of queer history and queer experiences in the 80s-early 90s, especially for trans women and generally queer culture.

It’s great, it’s genuinely got love for its characters and actresses, Billy Porter is magnificent in it and also he plays a character that’s beautifully strong and fragile at the same time, and if you like sass but also solidarity and love, fashion and a little bit of kitsch and camp, please do give it a chance. It’s really a good fun and thoughtful time. A lot of people have been sleeping on it but forreal it’s a good show and definitely worth your time. 

[d1rtypaws]

Coworker: nice day out huh?

Me, who watched a 2hr documentary about the Hindenburg disaster the night before and is desperately trying to share the information i learned: yeah, a real nice day, not at all like May 6, 1937 in Germany.

[bogleech]

I was diagnosed with ADD today which explains positively everything since I was a baby and now in a couple months I try a medication.

[bogleech]

I literally thought all the symptoms were the default way a brain works, so you’re telling me some of you can “choose” what to pay attention to? Like, if you know you absolutely have to listen to and remember something you just “can” even if you don’t like it?

And if you’re at a restaurant and three other tables are having conversations you don’t just automatically absorb everything they’re saying?

And if you know you have to do something within the next hour it won’t just remind you of a different subject entirely which reminds you of another different subject entirely and you don’t just take you three days to remember the original thing you were doing????

[bogleech]

Oh yeah and I was never once fucking told in my entire life until TODAY that ADD is an UNDER-active brain. It feels to you and looks to others like your brain is “over” active because the brain is desperately seeking stimulation but deficient in its ability to maintain it. You’re not distracted by every little thing because it’s all actually interesting or your brain goes “too fast” but because no single thing is ever exciting enough to satisfy your reward processes.

AND THE FUCKING THING ABOUT -THAT- WHICH I NEVER HEARD ABOUT BEFORE is that ADD symptoms can resemble or be misdiagnosed as pure anxiety or depression because negative stimulation is stimulation all the same so an ADD brain looooooves to contemplate the mortality of your loved ones and everything wrong with you and wrong with the world and hypothetical future disasters and what people “really” think of you and even that one embarrassing thing you said to a cashier twelve years ago.

Some other things I hadn’t necessarily thought of as ADD-related and I have all day, every day include severe procrastination, executive dysfunction, fearfulness or self-consciousness in social situations, being “smart” in some ways but seemingly “stupid” in other areas, and even hyperfocus on a narrow set of subjects, which of course can all also be symptoms of autism, another thing that may sometimes be misdiagnosed ADD or just kind of the bonus prize you got with it. Some things I DON’T personally suffer from, but maybe you do, and was even more shocked to learn are often ADD symptoms include a disregard for your own safety, harsher standards for yourself than you hold anyone else to, poor impulse control, risk-taking, thrill-seeking, sabotaging yourself and even sabotaging interpersonal relationships or “dropping” them too easily (”that last conversation rubbed me the wrong way…I better just cut ties with them before it gets worse”) All of these things can be either the ADD brain trying to get its next “fix,” bad habits unfortunately instilled in you from how ADD strained everything else in your life, or a mix of both.

[definitely-not-lordenglish]

Press F for all the Equius and Nepeta stans out there