Master Sirius Black Explained Through Mythology
[Kreacher goes wild and tells all on Sirius Black. With his kind permission, we are reproducing his hillarious explanation, the original posted on his page, https://www.facebook.com/MasterRegulusBlack]
Kreacher does not want Master Regulus to worry. Kreacher knows now how to talk to dear filthy Muggles in their own language, without making their Face Aurors angry. Kreacher will be a good Kreeacher, as he talks about Master Sirius, and not call him any names at all.
Now Kreacher wants dear filthy Muggles to listen about how Master Sirius Black can be explained through mythology.
Many of the delightfully filthy Muggles would not be aware, but Scandinavian wizards called the star Sirius, after which Master Sirius Black was named, Lokabrenna, meaning "Loki's torch."
Dear useless filthy Muggles will recall how Loki was a trickster in mythology. He was known for his pranks. Surely now dear undignified Muggles would understand? No? Of course not, Kreacher was too optimistic and would explain.
Dear disgusting Muggles would remember how Sirius Black, was playing a prank on poor Severus?
Even those Mud loving Muggles who oddly admire Sirius Black while hating poor innocent Severus Snape, the second best human wizard of his time(after dear Master Regulus, of course) would recall how his ill conceived prank even caused his good friend Remus Lupin to turn against him.
Dear depraved Muggles would then recall how Sirius Black, the worst of blood traitors, ended up in prison. While Loki, the god of Nordic mythology connected in Scandinavia to the star Sirius, was bound for his crimes against the Aesir.
[Who, Kreacher feels, surely knew what they were doing, just as the dearest Master Orion and Mistress Walburga whenever they punished Master Sirius for his oddly rebellious nature].
Dear Soulless Muggles might know at least that in Roman Mythology, the dog associated with the star Sirius failed in its duty to protect the female patron it was guarding, much like filthy blood traitor Master Sirius Black failed to protect his mudblood loving friend Lily Evans Potter.
Dearest lowborn Muggles might not even suspect, that even the hostility between the vile Sirius Black and the gentle, handsome, smart, eloquent(Kreacher would not elaborate not to upset the poor Master Regulus with his well earned epithets) Master Regulus was one between the two hounds that belonged to the hunter Orion, after whom, undoubtedly, the gentle Master Orion Black was named.
So, to reiterate, for gentle filthy Muggles, even the struggle between Master Regulus and traitor Sirius Black was predicted in mythology.
Kreacher could add more points of mythology, but he would pretend instead to understand what it is like to be a gentle limited filthy Muggle. Kreacher thinks that would please Master Regulus if he stopped talking now, so Kreacher is done.
Until next time, beloved pointless putrid filthy Muggles, Kreacher loves you all, so long as you stay away from Grimmauld place, at least, because Kreacher has things to do.
