I made this instead of studying. Maths or Malleus angst you know what I’m picking 🔥
Since this song is getting popular again I thought I’d draw Malleus to it! It’s a bit rushed (I drew this inbetween math study sessions (test tomorrow)) but I’m happy with how it turned out!
There’s a lot to unpack when it comes to Malleus, but what I find most interesting about him is his god-complex. It’s not undeserved, he IS almost god-like, but that near godhood also left him so incredibly isolated. I found this song fitting, especially since Malleus essentially attempted sewerslide, just like the singer, but comitted to let his end be meaningful at least.
Have I gained too much?
It hurts me just to think, and I don’t do pain.
The idea that Lilia was going to leave, that Yuu was going to leave, and that he would outlive everyone he loves, he couldn’t handle it, so he kept them all close, forever. It’s quite a poignant story. I know there’s a lot of discourse surrounding book 7, but I personally really like it. A lot is said about Malleus’ character even with him absent for a big part of his story.
Mankind has to stretch his finger to reach god, to take that final step, because god already has his finger stretched. But when man doesn’t reach out, does the god get lonely? Does the god lean forward to try to reach man, even though that’s not how it’s supposed to be? Even though divinity pulls him back? And when he realizes he can’t reach man, does he scowl at the irony of his very godhood preventing him from reaching the humanity he craves?
YongYong is here! A short comic this time and maybe for the next, srry!
Scenario: Right after choi left and took the good friend plush, Goldie immediately went to brag about his achievement. (The Choi part is him deciding how to handle the plush)
sahsol from saheon's pov is a death note-style psychological 5d chess match between two megalomaniac masterminds. sahsol from soleum's pov is like trying to tame a nervous horse who would otherwise kick him and shatter his bones
late-stage sahsol from saheon's pov is like being with a cosmic horror entity disguised as a human who has taken a strange liking to watching him suffer and if he pleases it it could bestow gifts upon him but if he angers it it could kill him and possibly end the world. late-stage sahsol from soleum's pov is still like trying to tame a nervous horse who would otherwise kick him and shatter his bones
Can't just be drawing Choi the whole time sobb. So here is like 2 panels of Braun. I had to rack my brain on a logical way for D-squad to survive him, and get Braun related to the story so this is the best I came up with. I'm so tired this took me 5 days lolol
Scenario: Golden(Soleum) had sent a letter to the host previously about wanting him to keep the current format somewhat and not cancel the show like in the future. Yes Sol can still remember the wiki. That's what the call is about but it seem he can't remember why he cares to change this future.
(This leads to the talk show, that's what's in the meeting btw)
Next comic will be rlly short, but will feature our beloved blue dragon elder!!
i think we need more toxic friendships in media. I've had enough of your romance. make them worse. make them best friends. make their friendships' quality inscrutable.
"Thank you for being the victim of my shallow emotions"
They deserved so much better. Thinking about how Nice (TBHX) and Ivan (ALNST) were both seen as perfect, golden boys in the public's eye, and how they were both all too willing to throw it all away.
And then the public immediately moved on and replaced Nice's advertisements with Lin Ling's, and the only person who would have mourned the finality and loss of OG Nice was already gone - cries
Y’know I just realised, now on my like, idk, 20th rewatch of the wedding fight, and seeing Wreck/Pò Huài Wáng threatening to kill Moon/Xīao Yúeqīng just to know what happened to Nice/Nài Sī:
And also taking the darker side of Nice into account:
AND AND also the fact that Wreck chose to just let himself fall after learning the truth about what happened to Nice,
I think we can safely say they definitely match each other’s freak lolol, like under specific circumstances, they’d be a power couple as villains, like, I’d let the world burn for you X I’d let the world burn for you.
Is today's episode for the Valentine's day? Because the vibe between Choi & Braun was something more territorial, and the territory here is Soleum (figuratively).
TWO GUYS QUARRELING AND BEING POSSESSIVE ABOUT SOLEUM AND TRYING TO DISCERN WHO IS HIS LAWFUL SPOUSE WERE JUST- TOO GOOD.
For celebrating Braun's appearance in his actual TV head form, because it has been A WHILE seeing him like that and witnessing Choi & Braun talk to each other and trying to get on each other's nerves is such a rare and fun sight to see,
I will do an in-depth, line-by-line review of their conversation, translating what their actual words mean, dropping all the decorum/formalities.
Since these two are the most eloquent talkers and are most discreet and reticent about themselves, always mincing their words or hiding their utmost inner feelings. I thought, why not translate their intentions, bluntly?
Also, ⚠️caution⚠️! There might be a slightly (or not) Braunsol/Choisol-charged comments here and there, so please do keep that in mind :)
Anyways, let's go!
Starting with Braun's introduction,
“I think, something real came here. Ma’am.”
It was.
The sensation of one’s sweat glands on the skin shriveling.
That sensation when you meet a Jangseung wrapped with red cloth iin the middle of the abandoned mountain, standing alone.
That goosebumpy sense of danger, and their sixth sense related to the supernatural disaster, hit both agents’ brains instantly.
Every time I see lines or descriptions reminding that Braun, in fact, is an eldritch (cosmic) horror with a formidable power, I smile with an absolute glee.
Since Braun is always with Soleum as a good friend and both looks & acts innocuous, by being a pink fluffy stuffed doll and helping & encouraging his friend, respectively,
readers would let their guards down and are desensitized to Braun but these moments galvanize us to realize what Braun actually is. LOVE IT.
As they walk down by the trail…. the voice is heard.
[My goodness, thank you!]
Braun's lines cannot be fully completed without entailing descriptions of "How sonorous his voice is". We get A MUCH LONGER DEPICTION for today's chapter.
(As a person, who's a sucker for a charming voice, I really REALLY wanna hear Braun's voice in person.)
[Haha, I thought, why not take a stroll for a moment before reaching the monorail city station?]
[Oh, isn’t this short period of grace like a cinnamon powder on the hot chocolate? It is like an appetizer, to stimulate one’s smell and spur one’s anticipation before it hits the tongue and throat.]
A fluent manner of speech.
Braun definitely knew Agent Choi & Haegeum was here. He intentionally stopped by just to meet the two of them in person.
That cinnamon powder metaphor, that's definitely a metaphor for today's chapter.
The appetizer, with a lighter and teaser-like taste, is the conversation between Braun & Choi. The main course, with a richer and heavier taste, is the ordeal Soleum's undergoing related to director Cheong.
Mr. foreshadowing TV man knows how to play with words.
Two agents stopped walking, looked at the halted monorail train.
Similar to the previous ones, it had a round and intricate shape but had a bit different ornaments.
For example, the golden mascot ornament on the head wears a red bow-tie, and the neon sign-like board flashes.
The door of the train opens.
A slightly more vintage and classy wooden interior was shed by a light from the garden…
casting a dark shadow on the opening of the train.
So, Braun sure IS a VALUED guest, even the monorail design is bespoken for him. (classy & vintage)
And.
[Hmm, we have guests already.]
Someone gets off into the shadow.
A polished pitch-black men’s shoe.
From that vintage figure shows a single leg wearing a high-quality suit without a fleck of dust.
The light goes all up from that leg, and the whole body is revealed…
DANG. What an entrance. Every line here just exudes ✨️dramatic✨️. Braun is nothing but a being of theatrics.
We get another long list of Braun's identity. VERY CRT TV-coded. Wait, so his body consists of wires? WIREPLAY WHEN??
CRT TV head looks at them.
“...!”
[Oh my, did we need a warning sign for our photosensitive audiences? Hahaha, nice to meet you…]
(= I'm this powerful, good to see your shocked faces in person.)
A huge figure got off the train.
On the end of the stylish suit, a sturdy hand with gloves, was held out.
[Must be petrified by an overwhelming joy. Understand! However, it would be sad to miss such an opportunity, right?]
(= Uh, I just put my hand up before you did, aren't you gonna at least say hello?)
Their official first encounter. It sure is frightening to see an eldritch horror in such proximity. So that list of descriptions was a form of contamination, I see. This is much tamer than Saheon's. Poor guy. ("Greetingsthisnight'sjoynewfacefromeverydayandyourfriendlyhost!Thisisthelatenighttalk--")
Braun is associated with light a LOT. I guess it's related to spotlight?
That was a foreboding statement.
Agent Choi grabbed the gloved hand of the being.
[Oh, being brave, I see. Very nice!]
(= Thought he would chicken out, but okay.)
A warmth was felt over the leather.
Agent Choi had no idea that he was feeling the same goosebumps his junior felt a long time ago…
And also by the next words.
[I should introduce myself. That is the proper manner! I’m Braun, the host from the late-night talk show.]
Both Agents of Hyunmoo team 1 experience how terrifying that TV headed host is. Choi and Grapes share the sentiment. More reason to bond with. Only Jaekwan hasn't seen Braun yet. He probably would be very wary about him.
Also, Braun constantly making Choi to associate him with the pink bunny doll, drawing the connection.
Braun.
Talkshow host.
A familiar name.
Is that…
“...by any chance,”
Agent Choi’s corner of the mouth convulses.
“...do you have any relation to, the bunny doll?”
……
……
[You noticed.]
(= OH finally)
Old CRT TV head moves downward and looks at them.
[Haha, oh, we are acquainted, aren’t we? We met when I was in the form of a stuffed little doll.]
(= You know me, and I'm just saying this straightforward just in case.)
…!!
Agent Choi's mind must have been flickering with red light and beeping danger signals.
[Hmm, no need to worry about your humble hospitality. Not every audience can be wealthy.]
[You provided a seat for a small stuffed doll with utmost sincerity, and I also enjoyed the place with the same sentiment. However…]
(=You people are poor af. But you did take care of me well and I'm thankful for that. BUT.)
The host’s fluent voice suddenly stops.
[Pink.]
Agent Choi thought while breaking out into a cold sweat.
[I did not like that cheeky name.]
(=I HATE that name. I had a damn itch to tell you. SERIOUSLY? PINK? A CHILDISH NAME? HOW HUMILIATING.)
Am I f**ked?
Braun probably would have been desperately waiting for this VERY moment to tell Choi about his humiliating nickname. He waited for more than 2 years, just to tell Choi this.
An all-powerful, omniscient and ubiquitous media-associated cosmic horror is just toyed like a helpless doll with an cute and powerless name like that?? Just because he is in that vessel?? THE HUMILIATION.
Also, we get to see Choi's pov and inner thoughts directly. And boy, he's a sailormouth.
He curses three times in this chapter. THREE TIMES. (Color-coded like this)
[Nevertheless, an entertainer should be able to put themselves down and bear the humiliation for the sake of the audience’s joy. That itself is an entertainment for the audience.]
(= I held back because my job requires me to do so. At least my viewers are happy.)
Phew.
“...Wow, you are a being of a high sense of professionalism, Mr. host?”
What did Grapes, this crazy bastard, carry in his front pocket.
Contrary to his inner side, armed with cold tension, he smiles affably and releases his hand.
Oh Grapes, Soleum's in trouble. Good friend doll is definitely going to be confiscated.
This is his second time of cursing.
Choi must have been cursing a lot to himself ('shitshitshitshitSHIT-') contrasting his chill and smug demeanor on the outside. Wearing a thick mask, I can see that. Love that, since this makes Choi more humane hero. Despite he's all stressed out on the inside, he never tries to show that and be all self-sacrificial, constantly tries to OUTSACRIFICE everyone.
[Oh, are you interested in show business?]
(= Probably you were just being polite, but if you're actually thinking about it)
“...Excuse me?”
(= Wait, what?)
[I’m afraid you cannot. Sadly, my talk show is not recruiting for new crews, and it has a highly strict qualification for selection.]
(= Fat chance. You cannot join. You don’t even qualify as one.)
Two agents momentarily were relieved, but.
[However, your way with words, wit, and your unique situation aren’t that bad… Hmm, if for a one-time guest, I would like to invite you.]
(= Judging by my friend's thoughts and experiences with you, you are an interesting show material for once. But nothing more.)
F*ck.
“...Wow. I appreciate your suggestion; however, I have been busy recently, so I’m afraid not.”
(= OH F*CK NO)
Okay, Choi is going to Braun's talkshow someday. Braun's foreshadowing is already made. This is a fixed event with an indefinite time.
See you Choi in Braun's 2nd late-night talkshow arc or Braun-centric arc!
This chunk of conversation shows both Choi & Braun's obsessiveness A LOT.
Choi first changes the subject to "the agent" that he's looking for, but he never mentions Soleum's real name. Grapes, Noru (highly unlikely for Choi to say that, because he regards it as a dead name) or any nicknames. Despite Choi just confirmed that "Pink" (sorry Braun don't incinerate me), the stuffed doll and the TV guy is the same being, he does NOT says Soleum's name.
Name holds an information of someone's identity and narrative which is spoken multiple times in GSGW directly or indirectly (Ireum is the one endowing this to the characters & the entire Ho Yuwon arc, naming him as a good counselor saved him and the Sekwang Special City) and this is why Choi being possessive with Soleum's. He doesn't want to easily show his identity and the narrative/story he build with him.
Braun, presumably understanding the whole reasoning of Choi's gatekeeping, just says Soleum's entire name. Considering that Braun, a professional who never speaks out his friend's real name in ghost stories or disasters, or when they are with other people to protect his friend's identity, calling Soleum's real name to the other in a ghost story is a huge deal.
Following the same logic, it is Braun's way to present that his story/narrative with Soleum is something real, further implying that Soleum's not only your person.
Also, Braun being genuinely happy when thinking about his friend?? He uses an emoji with a smile and A EVEN smiley eyes (probably this, 😄).
Braun's emoji projects his emotions and it seems to be presented in an unconscious way, same as us humans. Because everytime he experiences an intense or negative emotions, he choses to turn off the TV screen blank, as if he's trying to hide the entire thing, as if turning on the screen at that moment can reveal his honest & unbridled feelings.
Which inversely means, Braun really is fond of Soleum. He just cannot hide his love for his friend. AWWWW.
Choi, directly asks Braun for that. Asking he "has good feelings for Soleum?"
IT HAS A ROMANTIC SUBTEXT-
And Braun, oh this sweet TV host says this line regarding Soleum: "closest and most affectionate friend"
I'M SORRY, THIS IS JUST LOVE CONFESSION. THIS IS NOT EVEN SUBTLE OR HAS AN UNDERLYING ROMANTIC SUBTEXT.
NO, HIS WORDS SHOW HOW ENDEARING HIS FRIEND IS AND HOW MUCH AFFECTION HE'S PUTTING TO HIS FRIEND.
(FYI, while I was translating this line, I was SO TEMPTED to translate "the most affectionate" to "beloved", but end up deciding to keep it more neutral.)
And the host, with an audible tone, makes an exaggerated whispering gesture with hands.
[In fact, it is the very reason why I visited this unverified and humble resort. It is a place of pretty excellent artistic taste; however, if it’s my dear friend’s newly opened place, it has the right to be visited by this Braun!]
(= Soleum is MY DEAR friend and he has a good taste as my friend should.)
Braun, bragging how close they are and how exclusive and intimate their friendship is.
[Haha, no need to worry! This Braun visited the resort equipped with the formality and sophistication, proper enough to be broadcasted on TV anytime.]
(= Please, I'm a professional. I won't do something vulgar or violent that's unpresentable.)
TV head replacing a head rises with an emoji of a face-whispering.
[The owner of this resort places high importance on courtesy. If not, one could be stifled with astronomical figures of debts as a needy government personnel, so please do beware.]
(= You're lucky that my friend is a nice and well-mannered person. Even if you do engage a fight, a person with that low ass salary won't afford a thing.)
Agent Choi’s mouth opens.
“That is… good advice. Thank you.”
When things got a little tense between Braun and Choi, the mascots, Soleum's avatars, went to Braun to stop him. Braun says that he won't cause a commotion and half-threatens to Choi that I'm playing nice because of: 1) the viewer & readers watching and 2) for the sake of Soleum.
[Expression of gratitude is a laudable act. Well then… ]
“But perhaps,”
Agent Choi’s voice echoes.
“Do you know the whereabouts of that dear friend?”
The host stops walking.
“...if you are really a friend who’s always with him, I guess you know.”
(= If you are SO close with your friend why is he not with you? Perhaps you're not that close.)
……
……
[Of course I do.]
Agent Choi realized that Agent Haegeum was giving him a death stare. (LOL)
However, he cannot turn his head and keeps staring at the host.
An old CRT TV monitor staring at him.
OHHHHHHH Choi provoked him for sure. CHOI YOU BOLD MAN, THE AUDACITY TO THE DARKNESS WHO COULD INSTANTLY KILL YOU. NO WONDER HE BARGAINED WITH THE TIGER KIND BEFORE.
Choi is smart, he understood that Braun cannot do much harm by inferring from his previous statements, he makes a bold move. He knew he wasn't gonna be killed. SMART MAN.
Agent Haegeum has every right to be mad at Choi, honestly. He could get both of them killed.
Also, Haegeum gave a touching speech to Choi few minutes ago "that your life matters like any other people in the city" and he's throwing his life away just like that? STAY VIOLENT TO CHOI, HAEGEUM.
[That was an indirect blow! You do this a lot, right? Of course, the viewers would love it. However.]
(= Oh, you sneaky little thing. I know you talk like this a lot.)
The voice softens.
[If you make it a habit, you would hear a voice for the other kind of entertainment…]
(= Were it not for the situation...)
“......”
[The people’s voice requesting you to return your karma.]
(= You are SO DEAD to me if you act like that.)
BRAUN, again threatens Choi, that I'm giving you one more chance for your words. This reminds of the conversation between Soleum and Braun in the Groom boarding school arc, when Soleum tried to persuade Braun to ratatouille Lee Jaheon.
Also, Braun always saying 4th wall breaking stuffs. He is a host, a medium of us readers/viewers and the GSGW world.
Also also what do you mean, People's voice Hail vox populi, the people's voice?? Braun, you are one of my favorite characters in gsgw, but I don’t want to see Choi having a bad ending. You don't represent me. Or probably readers of same sentiment.
But pertaining to Braun, Choi does have karma to be met. I don't know what happened during that 6 months of bureau life with Soleum absent, but it seems that Braun is really holding back A LOT OF THINGS.
Agent Choi’s face hardened for a moment, but he smiled brightly with a cold sweat.
“Still, I’m glad they like me today?”
(= Okay, so not now, right?)
……
[Oh, that was quite witty!]
(= Nice save.)
Now, that's the Choi we know. Choi does have many qualities Braun likes (which was implied in the line that Choi could be invited as a one-time guest in Braun's show) since Soleum and Choi are so similar in many different ways. (They really are soulmates)
But his Karma precedes all of those qualities.
“Thank you. So, do you exactly know where your friend is?”
Agent Haegeum was about to yank this damn punk’s hair.
However a smooth answer from the host came first.
[I certainly do. Oh, and… their location just changed.]
BOLD AS HELL, CHOI. Risking his life for the whereabouts of his precious hoobae. Braun also realized how serious Soleum's situation is, so he doesn't engage in this quarrel anymore.
[Oh… I see.]
…….
[My dear friend, he is in the middle of scorcing drought.]
Braun's genuine concern for Soleum shows here. Also, him saying "DEAR FRIEND" multiple times in a single episode saved my day. THIS TRULY IS A VALENTINES DAY GIFT FOR ME🩷.
Then, what's Soleum doing right now?
I panted on the top of the roof.
A giant eye in the sky.
A flaming drought.
Director Cheong.
Kkwangcheori.
multitudesofpupilsstaringandrollinginsidetheeyeroundandroundandroundandroundandroundandroundandroundandroundandroundandroundandroundandroundandroundandroundandroundandroundandroundandroundandroundandroundandroundandroundandroundandround
"Mr. Roe deer."
This. Soleum is in pain.
And also, Lee Jaheon is the best man. Choi and Braun are physically from afar and cannot give any direct help to him.
but Jaheon, this legend and the GOAT carries Soleum and tries to takes him somewhere safe during the overwhelming pressure of that cosmic horror Cheong. NOW THAT'S A LEGEND.
My goodness
(...)
You outsiders, do not know your place
Putting a shop ad in the company’s network, finding a loophole in the employment contract and taking my employee by flaunting the rules like this
(...)
Well doesn’t matter
(...)
But all of this is just tiresome
Okay, So Cheong knew and was overseeing (LITERALLY) everything. That lady was waiting for the right, opportune moment to strike them all. SCARY AND POWERFUL.
Also, the fact that she was just tolerating the "Alien Shopping mall" ad is the funniest thing. So she knows the existence of the union, perhaps.
Come hither
A flaming hand grabs me.
I screamed and sucked into the sky.
NOOOOOOO STOP THIS
[Mr. Roe deer!]
…..
[My goodness. You seem to be in a big shock. Are you alright?]
“I, I’m fin…”
Braun came to Soleum right after seeing him in danger. How sweet.
I saw.
A dark silhouetted figure attacks the raggedy doll of 130666.
……
Snip
Snipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnip
It’s getting cut off.
The raggedy doll cuts off. Inside leaks with a cotton, a smoke, organs, and a darkish-golden liquid.
Snipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnip
I finally see a figure attacking.
‘Oh.’
That, That was…
A daydream mascot character.
Golden dragon.
Corrupted and eerily deformed, it is cutting a figure of 130666 with an office scissors….
Snipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnipsnip
THE MASCOT HORROR STRIKES AGAIN.
Also, this behavior of the golden dragon mascot made me certain of my speculation:
Soleum's part of the chimera body consists of this golden dragon mascot. Golden dragon is just trying to get their body back, by cutting off Soleum's body parts with scissors to rightfully get back what once was theirs.
[Oh, it is your version of the good friend].
Stuffed doll.
I am, in a mangy, raggedy doll with a replica of Kim Soleum in a suit.
As if I am being mutilated outside the door.
I lowered my head.
My chest are attached with a name tag-like label.
Good Friend
(Daydream Main Building ■■ basement floor
Made in Cheerful Research Institute)
Is this episode a redux of Braun's late-night talkshow? We are having a sequel🎵
SOLEUM'S IN A DOLL AGAIN, THIS TIME JUST A BIGGER AND RAGGEDY VERSION AND THERE IS NO OTHER OPTION TO ESCAPE?
(Wait, the lizard body. Maybe he's gonna move onto that body. Or we could get a Lee Jaheon arc real soon.)
GOD WHEN WILL THE PAIN END
Anyways, it got MUCH LONGER. But oh well, it seems that new arc is gonna start, and Soleum's horror and suffering can't never leave him.
Today is Lunar New Year, so GSGW is also taking a break. Happy Lunar New Year🎉 & have a happy day!
soleum in last week's chapter: calls choi ridiculous for trying to kill himself a million times with nothing but the guarantee of bronze and soleum saving him someday.
soleum in today's chapter: tries to with kill himself by tearing himself apart with his bare hands with no guarantee that he'll come back sane or human.
he speaks with great certainty but at this point, we know better than to put our full faith in his narration.
does it though? our soleum is just a filtered part of his consciousness. a part of it filtered to allow better communication.
a filtered part of the og!soleum's consciousness. how can our soleum be certain that the small portion of his full consciousness that his self expresses will take initiative?
also the way soleum tried to commit suicide to achieve his goal... we know, and have known for some time that he's absolutely willing to do it. (he once even suggested killing himself over and over again for dream essence after all!)
but the way he was trying to kill himself... no weapons or anything, just ripping himself apart with his bare hands.
soleum is, in his conscious/narrative thoughts, trying his best to perceive the being before him as another ghost story to destroy, in order to ensure the sekwang disaster contamination can never spread.
but soleum is trying to kill a being with his very own face, a being that is also his true human body. a being that, even if in a separate body from him, is himself.
just what kind of lens does he view himself with to treat himself so horrendously, in a way that he would no one else? oh my god...
also, I did mention earlier that soleum isn't as certain as his narrative makes him sound.
here's something that really shows how much less certain soleum is than his narrative reveals:
soleum, putting your thoughts in the evil red panel doesn't make them stop being yours.
we're familiar with the whole I'm scared to death, I can't do this, and I just want to go home bit from the earlier chapters. at this point soleum is so repressed and running on raw adrenaline now, that we see less and less of that side of him. instead, we see a more "jump into action, face the darknesses, focus on ending the disaster" version of him.
soleum may sacrifice himself at any moment. but at heart, he will never lose the core part of himself: his great, great fear. his want for home. for safety.
soleum may sacrifice himself, but he will do it afraid.
