still human

[bloodwhispered]

starryiis​

Daphne had already run out of energy with the conversation by the time Rafael opened his mouth to respond. That’s just how she had been this past week. Where she had once been enthusiastic about what other people had to say and thing she no longer could find herself the energy to care. 

Everyone was checking to see if her and her dad were okay. Knowing full well they were not. There were always bringing things too, flowers, pictures, and snacks. They were trying to fill a void they knew was endless. She should feel touched by the effort. 

But honestly…..

“Thanks. I’ll put these in the kitchen, come on in.” She took the bag from his hand and turned to lead farther into the house. When she could hear her father and the words that had come out of Rafael’s mouth. She felt a little bit of the heat the lingering anger in her surface. But she was tired. 

“You sound like Simon. And I’m not going to leave dad alone. So until at least Simon comes back I’m not going anywhere.” There was a small thread of threat in her voice. She didn’t turn back to him as she lead Rafael through the dim house.

        The air felt stale in the house, like they had stumbled into a madman’s elaborate mausoleum. It felt muted and gray in the halls of Daphne’s home. Rafael felt comforted by the silence, the darkness that swathed over him like a familiar cloak. He was familiar with mourning, and as terrible as it was, it felt like a second skin to him.

He should not be finding comfort in tragedy. He lifted his eyes uncomfortably, staring at the back of Daphne’s head and tried to parse the pressure that steadily built in his mind. He took in a breath, a shallow one that tickled at his lungs, and dove.

Rafael wasn’t a mindreader, he exceled in the art of picking at strings of power until he could find the right one to cut. No, he was a mindrender. The world slowed down around him, freezing in place the torrential outpour of intense power that roiled in Daphne’s body. 

Ah. Just as he suspected.

He pulled himself back to his body and adopted a feigned smile as he followed the young woman, forcing his expression into one of dopey compliance versus one of concern. “Simon and I are practically the same person sometimes.”

The house seemed to bend with the unconscious pulse of her power- did she know that she did that? That she was a bomb? He could see the fine lines of her powers in every corner of the home, like veins in the very walls. She could eat through everything, tear through the sky and its stars with her anger. ‘She has the potential to devour everything,’ a honeyed voice in his head whispered, chewing at his mind with an air of decay and ozone. ‘A star who will consume all things, a god, a black hole.’

Rafael stumbled, slamming his hand into the wall to catch himself. “Shoot, sorry, I tripped.” He pushed away, leaving long, sharp gouges in his wake. “Don’t worry about it, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. If you need I can leave but- well, I’d prefer not to leave you alone.”

[bloodwhispered]

smoked-grey​

Simon cast a worried look at Rafael when he spaced for a moment. That was odd. What was he seeing that Simon wasn’t? He opened his mouth to ask but let Rafael’s question take precedence.

“My calender’s basically free for now. I’ll probably mostly be hanging out here, helping Daphne and Markos out….” He’d had his grieving period over Annie 3 years ago when she originally disappeared. He’d come to terms with it. The Torres’s needed him more than he needed to let depression swallow him whole again.

“I imagine you’re busier than I am. I can make time. We don’t even really have to schedule right now, if you want to wait. I’m not in a rush…”

        “Come out with me tonight.” Rafael responded, so softly that it was barely louder than the rush of the traffic through the city. “After everyone else is done tonight. We should have a moment alone to- to think.”

It was tempting to lean over and catch the smoke that poured from Simon’s mouth and breath it in and let it simmer and crackle in his lungs. To feel something again. To feel something he could understand and control.

He paused for a moment, eyes obscured by the dark of the night, “I’ll need help on a quick patrol. I know a place after where we can just talk... If you’re not bad with heights.”

[bloodwhispered]

starryiis​

@bloodwhispered

Things were weird. She had seen more of this man in the past week than she had her whole life. And it was all because her mother was dead. When her parents would joke about it she didn’t ever think it would be true. But here he was at her house. Was he looking for Simon? Did he feel guilty? 

What did he have to feel guilty for?

It wasn’t his fault a building crumbled. So when the doorbell rang she went to go answer it. Still in her pjs, she hadn’t brushed her hair in two days. Simon had just left to go grab something for lunch. She had been out of bed for a couple of hours but she was just watching movies with her dad on the couch. What else was there to do? Leave her dad alone? No way. 

She would smile, if she could. The best she could muster was upturned corners of her mouth. And even that was halfhearted. 

“Hey…. He’s not really feeling up for visitors right now.” She nods upstairs, “And Simon isn’t here. He’ll be back in an hour.” 

Daphne wasn’t blind, she knew there was something between the two family friends. Something was going on between them and she honestly didn’t care. Whatever they wanted. They were adults. They were none of her business. She didn’t understand how anyone could pursue romance at a time like this. She certainly hadn’t. Her voicemail box was testament to that.

“So if there’s nothing else I can help you with… “

        The stars in her eyes were dead. His too had long since burned out, leaving both of them the same hallowed out husk of grief. Fallen comets left abandoned. Rafael glanced past Daphne’s head for a moment, gazing into the home of a new but old friend. Markos’ grief was powerful, cutting sharper than a knife.

Honestly, Rafael didn’t have a place here. He had only recently revealed himself to the family, only now let them know of his identity. A trust that was hard to stomach. It wasn’t right of him to place further weight on a family who had lost their central pillar.

“It’s fine. I was just here to give you some snacks,” He lifted the wrinkled plastic bag in his hand, the bottles inside clicking together with musical tones that drowned out the muffled sobbing from upstairs. “I wanted to make sure you are okay.”

He hadn’t know her long but he had gleaned Daphne would often neglect her own feelings for those around her. She was an empath, an open and warm heart and that heart had been shattered and closed. 

“I know a little place where we can go if you need to take a break. It’s a museum with one of those dark rooms that has model planets.”

[bloodwhispered]

fracturedefiance​

He had had a better look now, this man wasn’t older. Maybe. Honestly it was getting hard to tell when people were older or younger or around his age. Maybe that had to do with his mother who only showed her age around her eyes. As long as she dyed her hair.  She often got mistaken as his older sister. Whatever, he didn’t actually care about the man’s age. 

Inside the cafe was weird, it was nice and quiet but weird. The waitress ran off in a hurry that caused his heart to start pounding. What if she recognized him? What if his mother had set out a search for him and this was the bitter end of it all. He’d only had freedom for a day. His muscles tensed and he was ready to book it if anything came along. 

After a moment of nothing, he let his breath back out. Allowing himself to wave the paranoia from his brain slightly. His eyes still watching the doors and windows for anything familiar. 

He watched the shadows too. 

“Yeah. I guess I am.” He shrugged the answer distracted by his surveillance. 

Maybe this man really wanted to help. Maybe nothing was coming after him yet. Maybe he was being paranoid for no reason. 

Maybe his mother didn’t care enough to chase after him.

He almost shuddered at the thought. He didn’t want her coming after him. He didn’t want her in his life. But there was some part of him that wondered if she ever really did care. And if she did wouldn’t she want him back? And what would it mean if she didn’t. 

“Help how? If you’re talking about money. I’ve got money. I don’t need anymore money.” Liam shoved his hand into his jacket pocket where the heavy piece of plastic was. With more money than he could ever spend. 

        Rafael’s eyes lazily flicked over Liam’s expression, settling finally on the glass of water unceremoniously placed before him. A runaway, but an adult man at that. Life could be complicated but it was better not to pry into a sensitive matter- unless that sensitive matter was going to risk the lives of other people.

Still. There was an opportunity here. Positive change.

“All of the money in the world can’t help you if you’re just going to be running all of your life,” He interjected, finally coming to a decisive conclusion. “You’re trying to avoid something and in this city that can be very bad.”

He steepled his fingers, the jovial look on his face dropped for something far more serious, red eyes burning into the other’s face and finding only fear and anxiety in its wake. It was time to drop the act.

“You don’t have to give me specifics if it makes you uncomfortable but I need to know who it is that you’re escaping. Is this life and death or is this personal? Are you in danger?” Better yet, was this kid a criminal? Rafael would rather look on this with a positive outlook but the invisible little facts were starting to add up.

“I have an opportunity to help you but I need the truth. You don’t have to trust me but I’m going to do what I can.”

[bloodwhispered]

fracturedefiance‌:

Shit. Damn. Fuck. 

Those were the only words flying through Liam’s head. It was one thing to be princess dipped in broad daylight in the middle of a busy city street. It was another thing to be princess dipped in broad daylight in the middle of a busy street by what looked like could be one of his mother’s boyfriends. They were all the same handsome, rich looking, older men. And this one who so deftly caught money out of thin air.

Fuck. Shit. Hell. 

Liam was righted and he didn’t feel any less dizzy. The man was speaking to him so casually and clearly, then why did it seem like he was underwater. The words that reached him were meant to be reassuring and calming. And he was calm wasn’t he. Ignoring his sweating palms, and his racing heartbeat. He was calm. Totally and completely calm. 

“It’s my fault really.” He grumbles out quietly. And he really did mean it, he wasn’t watching where he was going. He should’ve been on higher alert. It was his fault, all his fault. Liam felt himself tense up waiting for retribution.

Instead he was offered a treat?

That didn’t seem right. Confusion filled his face and his immediate reaction was to turn down the man. “No. I’ve never been there.. But uh. I’ll go. But no questions.” He accepted the offer but not the hand. 

        Rafael was fast on his feet; years of active patrol ingrained every detail of Olive City in his mind. The cafe in particular he had been thinking of was small, good at hiding. Secretive; he could glean the kid’s situation from there. It was easier to skip the formalities; he opened the small restaurants fancy french doors and offered the younger man to go on in ahead.

Inside they slipped into a surprisingly spacious booth in the back where they could be left alone. It was partially shaded and cool; easier for him to see but still not dark enough to remove his floppy brimmed hat and sunglasses. “So-” HE began, interrupted by a cute waiter who had four eyes and little, orchish fangs who handed them their menus and ran at the sight of a celebrity. 

Poor kid.

“So,” Rafael began again, much quieter now, “You’re traveling light for someone that’s skipping town.” 

He traced one finger over the menu, catching on the embossed letters on the sleek black cover, a look of mischief quick to overtake youthful features. It was funny that this other guy was younger than him by probably a good 15 years but Rafael himself still looked younger. Less world weary, brighter eyed- 

Not that it was a competition. It was just jarring to see the difference in himself and ordinary huma-

Stop. He caught his spiraling thoughts before they could begin to descend. You’re still human.

“I’m not about to stop you or chase you down,” He crossed on leg over the other and rested his chin in the palm of his hand, “You look like you’re in a bad place. I want to help.”

[bloodwhispered]

smoked-grey‌:

Simon felt his face turn red. All the way from his chest to the tips of his ears. He looked away for a moment, taking a long drag on his cigarette and letting the smoke out, trying to get control of himself. He hadn’t expected that. Wanted it, definitely. But didn’t expect it.

“I agree….Talking about things….would be really good. There’s a lot to talk about. To air out.” He had a decision to make, it felt like. Right now. He wasn’t sure what that decision was, or if he was making it. But words sure were going to come out of his mouth.

“Thank you. For accepting. If it doesn’t work out, after one date, then that’s fine. But I didn’t want to just….not try. Again. I did a lot of not trying in college. And I’m 43, possibly about to be a retired superhero…vigilante…person. And I guess it’s time to start trying a couple of things I missed out on back then….Like you. I definitely missed out on you.”

        It was hard to think of this as anything other than- well, rebounding. Did Simon have a clear interest in him from the start or was this the advent of Annie’s death? It felt bitter in Rafael’s mouth but he still smiled with warm eyes and perfectly white teeth. He would have to tell Simon eventually.

“You shouldn’t worry.” He said after a beat, gaining the courage to extend his hand for a whisper of a second- a twinge, his vision altered, the world bubbling and becoming close yet far away and his hand was a massive claw of twisting tendrils and it was spreading and spreading-!

He blinked, staring at his own, very human hand. He pressed his fingers into his palm and realized he had been staring down at an unchanged appendage this entire time. Oh. A hallucination.

“Ah- how about we schedule that date then.” Rafael slid back into the conversation with ease, playing off his moment of pause as a mere splinter in his palm. What was happening to him? “What’s you calendar looking like?”

[understands]

[skipjumpvoid]

@bloodwhispered

Oh, what a  fine night it was! With a full moon shining brilliantly in the clear fall sky, a chill in the air, and the light pollution forming a glorious tapestry that ALMOST replaced the pleasantries of a clear sky, there was little more that Blank Space could ask for! Well, except for maybe his men down below to get a move on in unloading the drug shipment out of the back of the truck, so he could get moving from the warehouse and over to the residential area and his bar hangout. 

Honestly, if they were competent he wouldn’t even have to be out here himself! But he was always watching and babysitting one way or another when it was big business, and this was big. After all, it was better to have this held in his hands and at his place then let it fall into the little rag-tag pieces that were left of one particularly bad man’s crew. It was cute to think they were still trying. 

And then began the shouts and the sound of fighting. Of fucking course! There had to be something going on. “Alright! Alright! Come on, whichever supe you are. You know you can’t touch me!” 

[bloodwhispered]

        Incubus was swift, deftly dodging between goons with trained precision. As his fist met the last man standings jaw he found himself alone, sans for the shouting of one Blank Space. He twisted his gaze towards the reinforced door, a wave of annoyance quick to waft over him.

With a graceful twist he aimed his grappling hook towards a beam, pulling himself atop it and quickly slipping into an exposed vent, silently sliding himself forward, carefully maneuvering through the winding metal tube before successfully finding the exit; a steep plummeting drop out to Blank Space’s exact location. 

He was quick to grab the edge of the vent and with one languid motion silently rocked his legs upward, wrapping them around the outside of the vent and slipping himself on top of it so he could gain a better vantage point. He slowly positioned himself above Blank Space, peering down from the dark at the dapperly dressed Villain. 

He poised himself for attack, drawing deep within himself to pull at a thread of power. It thrummed within him, sparking through his system, like a viral infection, too hot and too cold, leaving a void that skipped across the tips of his fingers and into the palms of his hands. The world blurred, it was like he was looking through a set of bubble lenses; but he could see the root of Blank Space’s power.

He plucked at the threads and in one deft moment pulled, it felt like writhing, shadowy worms in his grasp, but the damage was done. For a brief moment, he potentially had the man’s power laying in the palm of his hand.

 “I can do plenty without touching you.”

[fracturedefiance]

@bloodwhispered

         Liam’s pockets felt heavy, too heavy. Breathing had become hard for him. Too much it was all too much, too much money, too much freedom. And nowhere to put himself. Could the money be traced back to him, could his mother find him. It would leave a paper trail wouldn’t it? Everything about this was bad, a bad idea. He could’ve just stayed. He should’ve just stayed. She wasn’t that bad, not to him at least right? She was much worse to the heroes she fought, or cronies who didn’t follow her every word. 

         No. He couldn’t think that way. There was no going back now was there. That group back their stuck their neck out for him. He found his way to an atm. His hair falling over his eyes. Now what would be an unsuspicious amount to pull. A couple hundred? Definitely under a thousand. How many hundred were too many. And what could he buy with that much money. A hotel room for the night? Dinner? Some new clothes? He stood at the atm and let the card sit in the machine, frozen in thought about what to do. He pulled out the slip of paper with the pin and slowly, almost leisurely, punched it in. Carefully he chose to withdraw $300. That was a small enough amount. People pulled out that amount of money all the time. 

          If he had thought his pockets felt heavy before, the stack of twenties weighed him down like lead bricks. He turned swiftly, his eyes shifting nervously across the city streets. It was one thing for Liam to act calm doing something he knew he shouldn’t. It was an entirely different thing for him to doing what he was supposed to. 

Ducking his head, he made his way into the flow of traffic. Walking fast. To a destination anywhere but there. Paranoia making his hair stand on end. And adrenaline making him sloppy. He didn’t realize until it was too late, him colliding with an older gentleman, cash flying up into the air. 

[bloodwhispered]

        Rafael wasn’t often ran down by people that looked to be in a hurry; usually the people that hounded him were very well aware of who he was. He was generally met with the flash of a camera, rapid fire questions like ‘how do you feel about-’ or ‘what’s your secret to perfect, ageless skin?’ or stalking.

This was by far favorable. With a deft arm he looped it around the young man’s back so he didn’t fall and with his free hand captured the confetti of money that fell around them. There, easy. He was careful upon passing it back, lingering no more than he had to as he met the eyes of the younger man with a look that was meant to be cheerful. The smile met his carmine eyes, easier than ever. It just took years of practice until he got it right.

“Sorry about that, I wasn’t watching where I was going.” He remarked, dragging a ring covered hand through tousled hair, lopsided smile bright. The smile fell, slowly, as his trained gaze flicked over the other’s face, over his stance- fear. He was running from something or someone. Ah, this would eat away at Rafael until he rectified this somehow.

“Hey, have you ever been to the cafe on Main street? Let me show you the way, it’s a great place to relax and clear your mind.” He offered a hand and steadied his parasol, blocking the dying light of the sun as it dipped below the buildings, casting the world in brilliant orange and gold. “My treat, okay? I won’t pry too much, I promise.”

[smoked-grey]

@bloodwhispered

The dinner was going…..about as well as could be expected. Markos and Daphne were doing their best. And between condolences and eating, Simon found himself looking at Rafael more than anyone else. As quietly as he could manage, he slipped over to Rafael and grabbed his hand. He nodded towards the porch, leading the way out where he dropped Rafael’s hand and lit a cigarette.

“So…uh…” He fumbled with his lighter for a moment before the end of the cigarette caught. “I was wondering. And, I know this is a bad time. Like a really bad time. Honestly, I should probably wait at least a little bit longer. Or maybe not do this here specifically with Markos and Daphne right inside but….If I don’t say this now, I feel like I never will so….”

He took a long drag and let it out, carefully manipulating the smoke to go away from Rafael, despite the wind wanting to blow it right in the other man’s face. “Do you…want to go out sometime? I know I have some things to work through still…and I don’t want you to feel like…like a rebound. Damn, listen to me I sound like a goddamn teenager. Like I’m still in my twenties. Rebounds. I like you, Rafael. I never stopped liking….probably loving, you. So. Do….you..wanna go out…sometime…”

[bloodwhispered]

       The night was cold and it was all that Rafael Bloodgood wanted to bask in. It would swallow the frantic, manic energy of the evening and plunge him into cold, unfeeling bliss. For even just a moment. He closed his eyes took a deep breath of the fresh air, only to swallow up an errant wisp of smoke. For a moment he was afraid that if he opened his eyes he would be looking into Tati’s placid expression as the world burned down around him.

A moment of bravery surmounted within him and he opened his eyes, turning their crimson depths towards Simon’s tired face. Even now, even as worn down as he was, he was still handsome. Handsome and stupid. Rafael arched his brow, perching one hand on a hip and the other against the porch railing. It was easier to pretend to be some cocky, flighty idiot than confront how he felt.

“Simon-” He began, halfway through the other’s rambling and not quite being able to speak over him. To remind him that it was okay, that they were going to live through this. To tell him about the crawling nightmares and the cold that ate away at him. The Endless void that beckoned for him with its cloyingly sweet voice. “I need to tell you someth-”

Had Simon figured it out? Did he know? Rafael’s heart began to race, he moved the hand on his hip to his chest, biding himself calm.

Nothing could prepare him for the question itself. If Rafael hadn’t been paying attention he was now, eyes widening as they locked on Simon’s face. Bashful? That was a way to put it. The chain smoker was now filling the air with endless talking, a tactic to keep Rafael from interjecting, from rejecting him. A softness tickled at the vigilante all at once, replacing the horror with warmth.

Of course Simon wouldn’t know.

He took in a deep breath and held it in his lungs where it fought and stung until he released. This was- well, it was unexpected, but it hurt nonetheless. It was a blow that not even the most powerful of his enemies could land on him.

What about Annie? He wanted to ask, but instead shifted his weight, gaze dropping to their shoes. “Ah.” What should he do? He couldn’t say yes, not with good conscience. It already ate him up inside, what would Sylvester think? Rafael took another generous (albeit shaky) breath and fixed his gaze onto Simon’s face more firmly. He had to do it. For both of them. He had to sever these feelings where they lay and leave himself in the past. He couldn’t let Simon involve himself with someone who-

Someone who didn’t want to be alive.

“I would love to,” His treacherous mouth responded as his brain melted itself into ooze, “I think we- I think we need to talk about a lot of things between us.”

Why did he say that? Why would he throw false hope to someone that was one step away from having the one bad moment that slips him into disrepair? Rafael found himself moving, his free hand moving to rest on Simon’s shoulder while the other still clutched at his heart. This was stupid, this was dangerous. He was going to die like this, unable to vocalize that he did love Simon, that he always had but things were too strange now. He didn’t feel safe like this.

“Simon, I think I love you too.”

[eliminated]

[destroymylife]

[understands]

[recaption]