Fine. I'll make a Hazbin sideblog.

aroace | multishipper | embrace the cringe and unhinged

[doorknobinmyayuss]

[that-hazbin]

For the SPN x Hazbin AU

I think it would be very neat if Alastor and the Winchesters encounter some demonic tomfoolery that was NOT authorized by Hell's royalty and Alastor summons Lucifer to "deal with the problem in an entertaining way!" and Lucifer goes into a very Hazbin-esque musical number of "The One Who's Running The Show" while casually torturing a bunch of demons before throwing them into a portal, and turning towards Alastor for some praise and validation. (He gets a bunch of head scratches and a few whispered promises of a reward later! 😘)

And this is before Dean and Sam knew that the freaky lil nonhuman being who pops up from time to time to motorboat their weird smiling mentor figure is The Literal Devil.

This was a major clue that they sort of brush over because it was so ridiculous that they didn't really pay attention to the lyrics. They were distracted by the circus torture okay!!

[niobeaz]

Lol to be fair to them, circus torture does sound very disturb-distracting. I assume that Alastor could easily handle the situation, and summons Lucifer not only for the entertainment of the circus torture, but also because he knows that Sam and Dean don't realize who Lucifer is and wants to add to the horror at the eventual reveal? Seems like an Alastor thing to do honestly

[that-hazbin]

Alastor loves setting up future clusterfucks, it really is something he would do lmao. Like yeah he could handle things himself, he IS technically the Queen of Hell (as Lucifer loudly exclaims all the damn time), but this is just so much more entertaining!

Alastor and Lucifer are super Morticia and Gomez coded lmao.

[bloodystaghorn]

Do the Winchesters know Alastor is Queen of Hell? Or is he just their strange-chaotic-mentor-who-may-or-may-not-be-fucking-this-random-demon? Like, are the Winchesters just assuming he is an extremely well versed in demonology human? Or do they know that he's only human adjacent

[that-hazbin]

No Dean and Sam have 0 idea who Alastor is, at most they believe he's a human with mysterious loyalties who practices some form of magic. It takes them a LONG time before they find out he grew up in the Jim Crow era south, and even that leaves them confused because he mentioned being a radio host in the 30s, but they can't find any documentation of him in New Orleans in that era. He's not even credited as the first black radio host in New Orleans.

So, they know he's human, he hasn't aged somehow (OR he time traveled, which, you know, is a plausibility in their fucked up lives so why not), and he has magic. Added to that, he's in a relationship with someone who ISN'T human. And believe it or not, they don't think Lucifer is a demon because in their experience, demons possess human bodies, and Lucifer is so very obviously NOT in a human body.

They can't figure out what the actual fuck Lucifer is. They'd figure it out IMMEDIATELY if they heard his name, but they don't know his name. It drives them up the fucking wall.

[that-hazbin]

For the SPN x Hazbin AU

I think it would be very neat if Alastor and the Winchesters encounter some demonic tomfoolery that was NOT authorized by Hell's royalty and Alastor summons Lucifer to "deal with the problem in an entertaining way!" and Lucifer goes into a very Hazbin-esque musical number of "The One Who's Running The Show" while casually torturing a bunch of demons before throwing them into a portal, and turning towards Alastor for some praise and validation. (He gets a bunch of head scratches and a few whispered promises of a reward later! 😘)

And this is before Dean and Sam knew that the freaky lil nonhuman being who pops up from time to time to motorboat their weird smiling mentor figure is The Literal Devil.

This was a major clue that they sort of brush over because it was so ridiculous that they didn't really pay attention to the lyrics. They were distracted by the circus torture okay!!

[niobeaz]

Lol to be fair to them, circus torture does sound very disturb-distracting. I assume that Alastor could easily handle the situation, and summons Lucifer not only for the entertainment of the circus torture, but also because he knows that Sam and Dean don't realize who Lucifer is and wants to add to the horror at the eventual reveal? Seems like an Alastor thing to do honestly

[that-hazbin]

Alastor loves setting up future clusterfucks, it really is something he would do lmao. Like yeah he could handle things himself, he IS technically the Queen of Hell (as Lucifer loudly exclaims all the damn time), but this is just so much more entertaining!

Alastor and Lucifer are super Morticia and Gomez coded lmao.

[bloodystaghorn]

Do the Winchesters know Alastor is Queen of Hell? Or is he just their strange-chaotic-mentor-who-may-or-may-not-be-fucking-this-random-demon? Like, are the Winchesters just assuming he is an extremely well versed in demonology human? Or do they know that he's only human adjacent

[bloodystaghorn]

Crazy that being an Alastor fan has helped me figure things out in my own gender

[drawbauchery]

[chocolate-biscuit]

A theory about Alastor and the possibility he's connected to Roo

Finally got around to post this!

[generalstargazer]

To add to Roo's connection to eyes and (rose) thorns:

From chapter 3 of Genesis:

When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.

(God punishing Adam for eating the apple)

Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat food from it all the days of your life. It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field.

There is also something about Roo and smiles:

Evil appears smiling in the intro

The same creepy red smile appears on Eve when she takes the apple

The inhabitants of cannibal town are all weirdly smiley

Smiling is also a big part of Alastor's gimmick (who we see committing ritual cannibalism before summoning rosie in s2)

iirc the cannibal family in helluva boss was weirdly smiley too

And ngl this smile thing makes me side eye "Lilith" (who seems to have Roo's hand and eyes on her neck in the second pic)

[chocolate-biscuit]

A fantastic addition! Thank you so much <3

[alicentsgf]

no you do not need to hold fictional characters "accountable". they are not real.

[alicentsgf]

[watchmebitch]

You know, we hear in canon ‘Alastor killed an entire class of Overlords’ but yeah I hadn’t thought of the chaotic free for all that must have happened in the meantime that led to the rise of the current set. Especially if there was some perceived invincibility among them and no bequeathing plan.

Yeah! Alastor's entire backstory and existence prompts SO many messy bits of worldbuilding like this and they are my favorite things to pull apart. I also imagine that he wasn't there for the first meeting just like this to have happened in his original round of killing off Overlords. Because like -- he wasn't an Overlord back then. He wasn't recognized. And he also probably wasn't paying enough attention to/inquiring about Hell's politics to have immediately caught on to what he needed to do to get that title. Like.

I specifically imagine that Alastor ended up sort of following a haphazard step-by-step process to be "formally" considered not just one of the various minor Overlords but specifically a Sovereign Overlord. Like, he's freely chatting with Rosie about how ridiculous it is that there are still people trying to have these smoky-roomed meetings that exclude him and she's like. Well, dear, I know you tortured so and so into turning over all of his souls, but do you have territory yet?

And Alastor is like. ...are you telling me that property ownership is the barrier? I have just claimed thousands of souls and the issue is that I don't have a street address?

(And then Rosie gets to experience the funniest sequence ever: Alastor dragging his feet and complaining about needing to claim and establish his own section of Hell because he LIKES the way things already are. He LIKES cannibal town, it's calm and cozy and the people are very polite. Why can't he stay there and still be considered equal to the likes of Rosie et al? He doesn't want to be a landlord!)

[bloodystaghorn]

This is so funny to imagine lol

I also like @elsa-fogen 's idea that Zestial, Rosie, and Carmila were just like "heyy, could you please stop killing us? If we make you an overlord will you stop killing us? We made you an overlord. Please stop killing us?" And he was still unhappy about it (goddamn paperwork)

[that-hazbin]

Trans Lucifer in a "I don't want to be a celestial being that simultaneously encompasses all and no genders, I just want to be a boy" way. Trans Lucifer who invented shapeshifting but refused to change genders after picking "male" bc it's not a PHASE Michael this is who he IS and ALWAYS WILL BE. Michael tiredly pointing out that male and female genders were invented only two days ago, he can't honestly mean tha— NO SHUT UP MICHAEL, HE ABSOLUTELY MEANT IT.

A catastrophic fall and 10,000 years later, Lucifer still sometimes grumbles to himself "think it's a phase now Michael?" under his breath while going about his day.

[bloodystaghorn]

Genuine question for the antis: why interact with fandoms and ships you hate so much wouldn't it be 20x easier to just block + move on?

[bloodystaghorn]

I think I need to take a break from fanfic. Just read some tags for a fic and my immediate thought was "you're gonna get him pregnant without even the decency to give him a vagina?"

[bloodystaghorn]

They gave him a pussy btw

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

[bloodystaghorn]

I think I need to take a break from fanfic. Just read some tags for a fic and my immediate thought was "you're gonna get him pregnant without even the decency to give him a vagina?"

[calladraws101]

“The only time I get to hold you longer”

For @abstract_orchid

[pe230141]

[sonnayamuha]

O^O

[kitsunesongs]

Ever 15th of March Alastor hands Niffty a Knife and they go out on the town to have fun.

Yes! I fully believe they have a heap of fun on this day, it is their favorite day, and if actual Julius Caeser is around and not in the airwaves he dreads them because they always find him!

[bloodystaghorn]

And if our good friend Julius Is in the airwaves, Alastor can just pull him back out for the day