[scrolling social media] Who the fuck is Jimothy?
[a brief internet search later] Ahh yes, ok I understand. Jimothy is my religion now.
Sade Olutola

Kiana Khansmith
Keni

blake kathryn

Love Begins
One Nice Bug Per Day
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
TVSTRANGERTHINGS

#extradirty

No title available
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

Andulka

oozey mess

if i look back, i am lost
KIROKAZE
untitled
Not today Justin

@theartofmadeline

gracie abrams
seen from Panama

seen from Russia
seen from Saudi Arabia
seen from Brazil

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from Costa Rica

seen from United States
seen from Belgium

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from Japan
seen from Russia
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia

seen from Bolivia

seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia
seen from Hong Kong SAR China
seen from United States
@bloomability47
[scrolling social media] Who the fuck is Jimothy?
[a brief internet search later] Ahh yes, ok I understand. Jimothy is my religion now.
Alpine Ibexes climb nearly 90 degree angles to lick salt deposits of of mountainsides. They crave that mineral.
Why is this back on my dash in 2018
Thank god this is back on my dash in 2018
''what if you regret it'' then you will expirience regret - a normal and unavoidable part of the human expirience.
the more you twist yourself into a pretzel to avoid regret the harder it will hit when it eventually catches up to you.
By Czeck writer Karel Čapek, inventor of the term ‘robot’ as well!
This is one of my husband’s favorite short stories. He quotes it from memory. I’m pretty sure he can recite the entire thing from memory.
This is a tremendously impactful short story and every time I see it, it serves as an excellent reboot button for my state of mind.
i believe her
HAPPY FOURTH OF FUCKING JULY
Brian McFadden: Is Google Cooked? (via Daily Kos)
https://twitter.com/birdtickler/status/1552657242909904897?s=21&t=q4JEDIALmV-cAjcoEOypdw
ok so I looked it up, and it turns out they made a track out of PVC pipes, down a hill. The owner didn't realise PVC expanded in the heat, so on a turn the track just fell apart and the dude inside went over a fucking free way and into a swamp.
The funniest part is that the inspector was watching the whole time, and once the ball stopped he left without saying anything. Park management just shut it down then and there.
"The ball cleared a small hill, briefly going airborne, then zipped right across Route 94, the two-lane road splitting the park. Cars honked and slammed on their brakes. If there had been opposing traffic, Frank would have become part of a real-life game of Pong, volleying from one bumper to another.
Still in pursuit, we followed the ball toward a small lake in Motor World that had been earmarked for a fleet of tiny bumper boats for children. The area wasn’t open yet, but the empty boats were being tested and floated on the surface. The ball soared over the grass and smashed into several of them, scattering the others with rippling waves from the impact, which launched some of the boats several feet in the air.
Charlie and Ken waded into the water looking for the hatch. After some difficulty, they got it open. Charlie pulled Frank out by grabbing him under his armpits like a baby. Frank crawled up the bank, coughing and sputtering. He splayed across the grass as we all stared at the ball, which bobbed in the water like it was attached to a fishing lure.
We did not ask for the inspector’s report, nor did we ever hear of one being filed. Ken Bailey returned to Canada. The snow-makers cleared away the PVC. Told to dispose of the Bailey Ball, they rolled it into the woods, where it remained for many years."
I don't know that this beats the teeth story, but it's pretty great.
Dude... allow me to add to your trove.
I have a folder of these on my phone... I'm not sure what that says about me!
i think chris flemings is one of the only comedians thats going to get into heaven