youre mom

crow | it/he | 24 | #1 N harmonia fan (does a cool kickflip) icon by pridewishes

[bluexcity]

now watch me whip. now watch me nae nae

terfs fuck off

[coast-modern]

isn't it kind of crazy that for any moving vehicle you need to wear a seatbelt but then on buses they're just like fuck it stand up whatever

[syekick-powers]

extremely underrated subgenre of tumblr post: when someone makes a general statement about something, and another person offers a counter-statement that's just completely nonsensical, and the OP just agrees instantly even if it makes no sense at all

examples:

[3rabbit]

daughter (non-practicing)

[3rabbit]

sister (deadbeat)

[3rabbit]

daughter (non-practicing)

[3rabbit]

sister (deadbeat)

[lumsel]

There's an open pit in the middle of our office plan that drops down into a bunch of very sharp spikes that kill you instantly. This is bad. People keep falling in there and dying. Someone put a sign up, the other day, all bright yellow so you can't miss it, that says "Beware!!! Spikes!!!"

The office immediately split into two factions over it. One says that if anyone falls in the spike pit it's their own fault for being so stupid and not watching where they're walking, so we should remove the sign. The other says that the sign is an insult, there shouldn't be a spike pit in our office at all, and having the sign up like that is just normalising the existence of the spike pit, so we should remove the sign.

We ended up removing the sign. Probably for the better. Still... for a while there it looked like it might have worked...

[unusual-pybro]

[m1dori-eyes]

Nobody has ever been capable of writing a scathingly harsh and well formulated satire about the perils of modern capitalism, that doesn't just get immediately one-upped by some random food service worker talking about their actual week.

[lesbiantiana]

if you had the money/time/resources to bring your OC’s story to life, what medium would you choose?

a book/book series

a comic book/graphic novel

a webcomic

a tv show/cartoon

a movie

a play/musical

an album

a video game

I don’t have any original characters

Remaining time: 5 days 23 hours

[twinkhole-destroyer]

you ‘had’ sex? where did it go

[fidelcostco]

can't believe the only options are 30 minutes early or 10 minutes late. if only there were some other way. but what can you do

[mushroom-soup-is-my-religion]

[s-leary]

Amazing moments in Dads: my friend’s dad’s critique of Frankenstein was, “I just don’t think the author had read science fiction before.”

[starlitbeetle]

Hey all, while we're busy normalizing women with hairy legs, hairy armpits and bushy pubes, let's also normalize women with hairy upper lips, hairy chins, hairy side burns, hairy chests, and all the other places where women are supposedly magically hair-free.

[apricops]

as part of their ongoing boycott, Canada will no longer provide the US with totally real long-distance girlfriends who definitely exist

[shadow-von-vamp]

reblogging a post that says “do it scared” vs actually doing it scared

[tractorgoth]

[justnoodlefishthings]

Starting to think we just need to start beating antivaxxers with hammers

[justnoodlefishthings]

while I'm at it if you wear Meta glasses and record strangers in public I should legally be allowed to bite your throat and shake you until you stop moving

[innerchildabortionclinic]

these people are so annoying omg why are you fantasizing about copyright striking someone

[innerchildabortionclinic]

MY biggest fear as an artist: thunderstorms. thunder loud and scary

[amaet]

defiance, personified

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

okay. breathe. listen to my voice. can you tell me five things in this room you can fuck?

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

okay great. now list me four things in this room you can kill.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

beautiful. there you go. okay. now: tell me three things you can impose unjust taxes on.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

almost done. can you list two things you could shove in a pipe and smoke?

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

last one: one thing you could use as a makeshift weapon?

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

why are you still crying