Body Smuggler

[dajo42]

no, mother... you should have read my supposed "school field trip" permission slip closer.... i foresaw your betrayal a mile away.... im afraid, mother, it is you who has been sold to one direction

[fluffydancer618]

Good morning, what the fuck was I cooking in here

[halftoning-deactivated20240224]

cmyk test pages r like angels to me

[halftoning-deactivated20240224]

do you understand

[mortimermcmirestinks]

I made you something OP

[annabelle--cane]

I somehow hit the jackpot and grew up being raised by a mother who was actually good and liked me (while she was poor and disabled nonetheless! Big Fascism is always saying poor and disabled single mothers who aren't evil can't exist, get #owned lol), and that actually made me extremely anti-adult from a very young age. every single friend I ever made from ages seven to nineteen would constantly tell me crazy stories about what regularly went down in the penal institutions that passed for their homes, and that was all considered normal and fine and the gold standard for what nice suburban families were meant to be, meanwhile if I said something like "my mum lets me read any book I want and all movies and tv are allowed as long as we watch them together" then I'd get un-invited from every birthday party because I was deemed a corrupting influence (which, to be fair, I was, because I would spend a lot of time convincing my friends that if their parents' rules sucked and were unfair then it was okay to lie to get around them). and whaddya know I'm twenty-four and still get on really well with my mother and talk to her as much as I can and this is the case for literally no one else I know.

[inkskinned]

Every day I handle more money than I will ever make. Every day.

At the start of my employment, my boss showed me videos of people stealing, and we both had a chuckle about it. How silly they were! There was a camera overhead, and it’s not to watch the shoppers. See, we can’t actually stop shoplifters. They get away with it maybe nine out of ten times. But we, who are watched and tallied and witnessed? We are always caught.

At first it was hard to hold one hundred dollars bills. An amount I had never seen before. An amount that didn’t exist in my household. It’s normal now. Here is something that is not for me.

“What the hell, I’ll take another,” says the man, pondering our 200 dollar watches. What the hell. Total comes to 580 and not even a flinch in his face. I have been working for 11 hours today and made only 110 dollars. It will go to my rent. Today I work for free, it feels. When I get my check, I will have 35 dollars left for food and saving.

The six hundreds he hands me go into the cash register. For a moment, I imagine having money. Then I put it away, counting out his change.

I know for a fact we sell our products for double what they are worth. That I could be making commission. That they could hand me those 580 dollars and change my life and not even mark the difference in their checkbooks. He’s not the only sale they make today, but I am the reason they made it. He’s not the only one spending 600 dollars, but if I hadn’t spent two hours with him telling me about his life, he wouldn’t have spent any. I go home. I don’t own a watch.

I have watched and rewatched a video on how to make salmon four ways. My shopping list is always the same. Pasta. Rice. Tuna. If I can afford butter it was a good week. I dream of the world I will never walk in, where I can throw the best fish fillet in the cart with a shrug. I hold hundreds in my hand and look up at the camera. I put them under the cash drawer.

I go to work. I scrap together my savings. I eat my bowl of rice slowly. My manager takes a paid week off from work just for his birthday. He owns a yacht. 

I’m not worth the cost of a watch.

[inkskinned]

i wrote this while i was working at orlando’s walt disney world parks.

i was part of their college program. i moved to the state for it. they legally owned the building i was living in and still charged me rent. i ostensibly was being charged to work for them. it was a 2 bedroom apartment and they placed 6 adult women in it in forced triples.

as many as one in ten disney employees have experienced homelessness while working for the company. despite huge efforts to unionize, strike, or otherwise demand fair treatment; disney has refused to increase employee quality of life.

disney admits publicly that a good portion of their success is because the employees (“cast members”) are dedicated, passionate, and selfless. this is never reflected in pay. even “face” characters (ie those that are princesses etc) make barely above a minimum wage.

at the time that i worked there, i made $8.50 an hour. at one point i was asked to create a human shield around a bag because a bomb dog had alerted to it. for eight fucking dollars an hour.

i now work a very cushy office job. i have bought the salmon and cooked it all four ways.

i go to the store. i am nice to the person behind the counter. she looks up at the camera while she counts out my change. there is nothing fundamentally different about her and i.

we are both worth more than the watch, anyway.

[jane-vampeyre]

tomfoolery at an all time high

[internetwesley]

we are so fucking back baby

[spamtown-usa]

The Mysterious Pervert has reblogged your post

The Mysterious Pervert has deleted their reblog

Lovely Mutual has reblogged your post

[dailycatsblog]

[vedurnan-archive]

[fipindustries]

ok this looks ultra mega based, are you kidding me? can you imagine the bullshit i could get up to with this bad boy? fuck yes i want ten

[mint-corset]

Wait are iPhone bros coping because Apple has to be more universal? Lol.

[such-justice-wow]

Boo hoo i'll be able to add more physical storage to my phone and be able to change out batteries if they degrade as well as all these other optional features I won't have to touch

[lectorel]

Continuing in the trend of political cartoons depicting milquetoast moderate positions seem so much cooler and more badass than they are

[domina-honoribila]

I love how they add totally absurd things no one is asking for to make the idea look crazy. And still, I must emphasize, failing to make this look like a bad idea.

[teaboot]

"Is this what you want? Is this ugly stupid bullcrap what you want??" the biggest loudest idiot in the room asks, holding up a picture of the hottest looking shit I've ever seen

[crabussy]

been working on unlearning male defaultism in the ways I speak to people and I've replaces "guys" with "crew". and you know what? it's SO fun. addressing the readers of my posts with a "kia ora crew!" and saying farewell to my friends with a "bye crew!!" is so delightful. everyone should adopt a fun way to address people. peace and love

[simplyjustfucked]

[counterpick-me-irl]

SEIS fag sex? En esta economia?

[draconym]

i would rather see the information for an event handwritten in sharpie on a paper towel than see another AI generated flyer

[aj-living-life]

Saving this post to show my boss who I told the AI flier makes us look lazy and ignorant, and offered to hand draw one. She still printed tons of ai fliers and I'm tempted to make a better one just because it annoys me so much.

[aj-living-life]

Fun update: event was canceled because literally nobody rsvp'd to the AI flier.

[innerchildabortionclinic]

crying never registered to me as a manipulation tactic because crying did nothing for me as a kid. here's the thing. I was constantly crying and panicking in every situation so it was never a shock to anyone and at most annoying, especially at school. i'm curious if anyone can relate.

[xx-k1tsun3-k1d-xx]

very telling that even if you’re not allowed to view content related to self harm/suicide/eating disorders due to not giving up your ID on the uk internet you will still be shown relentless ads for weight loss drugs and fad diets showing unrealistic/AI generated bodies and unhealthy methods and time frames for weight loss that can only be achieved by starvation. oh and also so so many gambling ads. relentless ads for gacha and gambling services. almost like it’s not actually about protecting kids at all or something

[kosmogrl]

get in loser we’re gonna try again despite it all

[innerchildabortionclinic]

i've always believed the fixation on 'mean girls' specifically is because it's a violation of gender roles first and foremost--a 'mean boy' in high school is a regular high schooler. the internet isn't ready for this take yet though so be careful