sometimes we come across people that if we didn’t meet for ourselves, we wouldn’t believe existed. the kind of people we read about. the kind that many write ballads for. the ones that are as special and as unique as a snowflake, but still manage to make you feel like the most beautiful thing to have ever set foot on this earth. when they look into your eyes you shiver, because you can feel them see something that not too many people bother to notice. with just a single glance they can make you feel at ease, and when they hold you something inside feels fulfilled, like something that was broken for so long, just isn’t anymore. the kind of people that make you believe again, and fierce. they make your heart beat faster and yet you find yourself so calm around them. it feels like they’re too good to be true. like magic.
whether we’d like to accept it or not, the fact is that we all are dark. every individual has a shadow side. a fucked up part of ourselves that makes us human. it gives us flaws, interfere’s in our daily lives and makes us make errors in that we don’t want to make. fuck that, it messes with the way we perceive our environment, what we call reality. it makes us selfish, self serving and manipulative. we all use psychological tricks to get the upper hand in a situation. it makes us defensive. it makes us feel like the entire world is against us and we have to fight them. it makes us think that we’re in a situation where we need to lie, in order to attain what we desire. It helps to accept that this is part of all of us. our brains are a little fucked up. they’re wired to be traumatized. there is an infinite number of ways in which our trauma has fucked us. each one of us differenly.
sometimes you have these moments. they aren’t even a complete moment. just a split second of this wierd feeling. it’s a little bit of excitement, some nervousness and a ton of confusion. it makes you giddy. almost hopeful. of just maybe, just maybe, something falling into place perfectly for once.
last night I met you in my dream. it was half a year from now and you were here, in my city. we were walking down my favorite street and you reached out to hold my hand, intertwining your fingers in mine. everything felt absolutely real, the sun setting in the distance and filling the sky with different shades of orange, pink and purple, the smell of coffee from the local dinner on the street, the smell of your cologne, and especially the way your skin felt against mine. I don’t remember most of what we spoke about, but I remember laughing, laughing so much that my eyes got watery and my stomach hurt.
we walked towards the sea and the sun had almost set by the time we reached the bay. as the wind got cooler the space between us reduced. you put your arms around my waist and planted a couple kisses at the back of my head. we watched as the sun went down and the light around us disappeared, you holding on to me throughout. I wanted that moment to never end because I felt so absolutely safe in your arms.
I turned around to look at your face as the moon rose and the street lights came on. your face glimmered. I walked my eyes down your face very slowly, capturing as much detail as I possibly could. your shinny, straight black hair falling down your forehead and occasionally getting pushed onto your eyes because of the wind. your gorgeous almond shaped dark brown eyes, as captivating as ever. your cute little nose. your dark pink plump lips smiling at me. oh what a mesmerizing face!
I watched as the smile disappeared and the lips came closer to mine, touching them gently for a moment, before our tongues met. I could feel my heart beating faster and getting breathless, not wanting to let go of your lips even for a split second. you hands moved up from my lower back all the way to the back of my neck, pulling me in closer and shivers ran down my entire body. I felt like the void within me had suddenly disappeared.
and then almost instantly, you stopped, let go, and started to walk away. you left, again, and it hurt, again. it hurt like it was the first time you left, it hurt like it was the fifteenth. in one goodbye I felt my heart break a million times.
I will wait for you in my dreams again tonight, don’t leave me waiting too long love.
pixelskylines
prguitarman
vaporwave
yousharknotpass