Bonjour there

Welcome to my swamp I guess kdkdksks  

[girlrust]

happy pride to my favorite gif in the world

[longseasons]

does anyone like me and want to understand me

[pjackk]

Ok but why are the suckers and losers trying to kill me today

[tlirsgender]

Many jokes about packers flopping out and bouncing away and such but I still wasn't prepared for how genuinely disconcerting it is for a second when your brain has accepted this as Part Of Your Body & your thang fell off. My pebis

[tlirsgender]

Every time I pull my pants down to go to the bathroom and watch My Penis go with them I have to like. Recalibrate

[fratboycipher]

(via @lunnefisk)

[pierogiy]

sanjis big question

[ampervadasz]

Unmute !

[mammalidentifier]

Domestic pig (Sus domesticus), more specifically of the Kunekune breed.

[shamebats]

Paralives might be a little too progressive. I'm playing with one of the pre-made households and my little adult man just got himself a cute boyfriend and I only found out that one of them can get pregnant because the "try for baby" option is available. But I don't know who's going to carry. So that's going to be an mpreg surprise.

[kaspbrakchosis]

in It Chapter Two (2019), Eddie's car is connected to his Samsung Galaxy S8+. This would be normal and completely unworthy of any note if it weren't for the fact the movie takes place in 2016, and the Galaxy S8+ came out in 2017

[vetchtibbles]

a moment of silence for my roommate who has to endure me doing linguistics homework. out loud. making sounds with parts of my mouth and throat I didn’t even realise I could use to make sounds. repeatedly and with passion

[teacupsandcyanide]

i think the moment of silence needs to come directly from you on this one

[handageddon]

[ursafuriosa]

if there was any sense in the world i'd be the kind of toxic millionaire that spends all their money on stock photos of assad zaman

[littlestpersimmon]

Free Ornamentation III. This work is dedicated to the public domain ♡

[grelleswife]

The double-page spread from the most recent chapter!

Source

[teaboot]

How people get nicknames:

Recipient of a third-degree burn in front of witnesses. IE, "I won't take that shit from a man dressed like a ghostbuster"= "Gostbuster" or "Buster"

A distinctive personal feature or quirk. IE, "Have you noticed how that new guy is always eating bell peppers?" = "Peppers", or "That chick has a massive forehead" = "Forehead".

An embarrassing thing you said or did. IE, "Did you seriously call Dale "Dad"?" = "Junior", "Baby boy", "Sport"

A game of name-mutation telephone. IE, "Donny Clyde" = "Bonnie 'n' Clyde" = "Bonnie" = "Bon-bon".

Irony. IE, calling a tall person "short stack" or a particularly dour person "sunshine".

A 'wrong place wrong time' one-off incident. IE, "He spilled oil on his pants and had to borrow a pair that were way too big and Jim saw him with the waistband pulled up to his nipples and called him 'Parachute'"

A batman-style origin story but not in a cool way: "One time she hit a deer with the company car and when she called the boss to tell her she was crying so hard we thought she was dying" = "Bambi"

The incredibly rare 'admiration' nickname, bourne only once a millennia under the light of the blood moon: "We saw him lift a truck once so now we call him 'iron man'"

+ How Nicknames Stick:

Your fate is determined by The Counsel

You hate it

It's accurate

[notsomeoneyouknow]

This reminds me of an article about how callsigns in movies are inaccurate because they're too cool. Generally your callsign in the military is like "Bepis" because you once pronounced "Pepsi" wrong.

[teaboot]

^^^

[npdclaraoswald]

A doll youtuber I watch has made a video about the history of Polly Pocket, and she's describing the plots of the dvd specials, one of which features an elderly woman named Ms. Throckmorton, and my reaction was

[dowereallyneedthis]

“I don’t do math because I’m gay” “the gays can’t do math” “If I explain math on tumblr I’ll lose my gay card” all of you apologize to Alan Turing right now 

[myfootyrthroat]

The “+” in LGBTQ+ is for math.

[dowereallyneedthis]

It’s literally been years since anyone added something slightly clever or original to this post, so I would like to congratulate you and maybe even bestow some kind of award. I don’t have anything to give you though

[grrbrainsorwhatever]

I LLOOVVEEE THE MINNIISSEEERRRIIIEEESSSS AAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHH

[bannertanks]

[ghosthierophant]