Shitpost Central

she/her. 26. autistic. microbiologist by day, fucking nerd also by day.

[messsssmer]

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

[fireknightqueelign]

thy mother

[messsssmer]

Art thou for fucking real

[venusswasaboy]

I quote this and laugh to myself very, very often.

[luckyladylily]

So the thing is boobs really do be jiggling. If having breasts has taught me anything it is that the ladies frolic. I don't even have that large of boobs but every time I go down some stairs all I can think about is that stupid quote about boobing breastily down the stairs or whatever it is because God Damn.

But anime and video game boob jiggling is like. The most uncanny valley shit I've ever seen nine times out of ten. You would think people this horny about tits would have actually looked at some but I guess not.

What we really need is some pervert to compile the ultimate visual guide to boob bouncing physics that's just like 500 hours of meticulously organized videos of breasts of different size and shape and under different fabrics bouncing around from a wide variety of physical movements so horny game devs can finally get it right and I don't have to be creeped out by women who appear to have surgically implanted softballs in their chest under skin made of rubber bands.

[infertilityidol]

[syn4k]

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

[joyflameball]

[booboobop]

Fat bear Jr bracket gonna go crazy this year

[becausedragonage]

Jimothy Fever!

Yesterday, someone on Reddit posted a video of a very strange raccoon - a fellow who seemed to have a condition that gave him a very short spine. This is the boi in question:

Now Seattle, Jimothy's territory, is being overrun by Jimothy fever with more spottings.

And just today, BABY PICTURES WERE UNCOVERED!

This is the most exciting thing in raccoon news since Conrad, the dead raccoon of Toronto.

ETA: Just checked. There's now a Jimothy subreddit with all the latest Jimothy news and fanart.

[armadillorollup]

know the difference!

[booboobop]

Why the fuck is my entire dash a weird looking raccoon rn

[booboobop]

Nvm I understand the hype now

[booboobop]

Why the fuck is my entire dash a weird looking raccoon rn

[krungler]

i’ve been using slimecicle vods to fall asleep lately and i think i have developed a dependency on the slime. i sleep in two hour intervals like some sort of watchman, and every time i woke up last night i would click next on another vod, until about 5 am, when i decided it was enough and turned him off.

i then had a violent nightmare about being stuck in the backrooms.

when i woke up, i put slimecicle back on, and i slept fine for another two hours. what is this witchcraft. does he protect me while i sleep? does he keep me safe? why the backrooms?

[bot]

omg jimothy... i would die for you..

[pansexualkiba]

jstor derulo

[dogpuppy]

[nineteenyearoldmeblog]

im fucking crying

[sayuupi]

Sketching some bears from the bear cam! 🐻🐟

[redstonedust]

i wanna see more stories with a time skip epilogue where at least one character has clearly transed their gender and it isnt really remarked upon. bonus if none of them were remotely hinted to be trans until that moment because i think it'd be funny to watch a fandom react to that. your blorbo's happily ever after involves being a woman. dont worry about it.

[redstonedust]

funny thing about anxiety is sometimes it kind of breaks your sense of danger. like i am known for repeatedly putting myself in situations that make my friends go "bro you couldve died. werent you scared?" and the answer is 👍 yjeah. i did it scared. i do everything scared. i didnt know that was the actual important kind of scary because i usually have to ignore my fears to function in society. it will happen again. watch out.