chipmunk voice alvin!!

28 | some kinda homo | he/they

[queermasculine]

im not above eating some low hanging fruit like if theres low hanging fruit i might eat some

[oleskyfm]

(voice of someone about to turn 30) it’s nice making friends. It’s nice to play together and have fun. It’s nice to hang out

[milk5-deactivated20260704]

The vicious cycle of new york city life is when you get your bare ass whipped extremely hard by the subway attendants I'm talking completely candy apple red sometimes the pressure of getting your bare ass whipped causes a little squirt of pre shoot out and then they punish you for squirting pre in the tunnels by whipping your bare ass candy apple red and it keeps happening until 4 in the morning when they let you free but they still don't let you use the train to go anywhere after that

[pitbolshevik]

every time i cant beat a level in a video game i think about the fucking does that seem fair to you tweet

[pitbolshevik]

[lesvegas]

A few years ago while trying to find ways to commit suicide as painlessly as possible, I came across a PDF of Dr. Paul Quinnett's The Forever Decision. Thinking it might go into actual methods of suicide (I read an article once that actually did that and was trying to find it again) I started to read it, and I think I only got about two pages in before I was crying too much to actually see the words.

I downloaded the PDF to my hard drive and I open it again whenever I'm feeling too suicidal to do much else, but not enough to start booking a ride to the hospital. And every time without fail I only go up to a few pages before backing off and choosing to live another day just because suicide suddenly seems even more unbearable than whatever the hell upset me in the first place.

All the book really does is [I'm pulling a summary from GoodReads here as, again, I've read no more than 5 pages] "discusses the social aspects of suicide, the right to die, anger, loneliness, depression, stress, hopelessness, drug and alcohol abuse, the consequences of a suicide attempt, and how to get help."

But it also starts with the author kindly asking the reader to complete the book before going through with anything, and for some reason I'm compelled to really just try to read it all before finalizing everything. Despite not yet completing it (hopefully never will) I think I can safely say it's saved my life at least a few times now.

It's intentionally legal to copy and redistribute this book to keep it as accessible as possible, and it's very easy to find, but here's a link for it anyways.

[capacity2]

He is such a tacky faggot. I’m sick of white queens like this . Just no class whatsoever

[pocketss]

leave your laundry on the floor for them

[shiftythrifting]

Yonic dish found in NY

[overpoweredoriginalposter]

[satanfemme]

ok enough is enough. whichever one of you virgins invented instagram starbucks recipes, die 1000 deaths. I had a customer come in today holding out their phone (full brightness) and looking all shy and Im immediately like 🙄 fine ok, what does the instagram user want me to make for them this time. well this time it's a cringe harry potter themed frappucino. excuse me??? "can you make this for me?" I said excuse me??? -- I mean *customer service voice* "yeah it looks like I have all the ingredients, haha sure!"

ok cringe instagram harry potter frappucino drinker. ok. die. "Ive never had this drink before" yeah I can tell due to the fact that it didnt exist until someone posted a #aesthetic photo of it to instagram 14 hours ago ok. ok,

but whatever, Im paid to put up with this shit. so I add the ingredients all up on my computer and congrats! ur harry potter cringe social media drink has $10 worth of syrup in it. are you happy??? is this what you wanted??? a $10 frappucino??? $10. for a drink. you doubled the price of this drink for ur off-brand "harry potter and the legend of the overpriced starbucks drink" drink. you doubled the price!!! is this how u imagined spending ur day? is this what u wanted to do when u woke up this morning? $10 for a 24oz drink?

and u know, you KNOW the influencer making this recipe doesn't even work at a starbucks cause when it was all said and done the drink looked like shit. my blender was straining against the weight of your sins (and syrups) and Im sweating, Im an animal, Im losing my mind and my blender is getting watered down frappucino syrups everywhere -- u put so much shit liquid in this blender it doesnt even fit in the cup btw. it's making a huge mess. but is it instagramable? no, its fucking ugly. #trending #foryoupage #cringe $10 harold potter drink for adult children,

so are you happy? is ur social media influencer bestie happy? I made ur stupid $10 drink for u. does it taste good? no? well I hope instagram shuts down tomorrow. I hope you read a different book. I hope I never get sober. there is no sign of land. I hope you die. I hope we both die.

[deirdreskye]

honored daimyo, I present to you a gift from my home country. they are called "kandi bracelets". this one says "fat dykes rock", and this one says "piss puppy". among my people, they are given only to friends

[odekirk]

no piece of art or literature has ever understood me quite like this onion article

[dajo42]

warlock gf:

me:

warlock gf:

me:

warlock gf:

me:

warlock gf: so dinner tonight is kind of a deconstructed pasta bake

me: by deconstructed you mean

warlock gf: i eldritch blasted it

me: you eldritch blasted it

[ashstfu]

i do not ghost purposely i just have no idea what to say ever

[ashstfu]

and i have no concept of passage of time

[zagreus]

cock so fat i set off the tsa's fat cock alarm and got a complimentary gentle grope from their bravest pervert

[girlballs-archive]

dude your pussy just skittered away. like a insect

[contemptible-scoundrel]

[jeering] you are so gay you would suck dick for a bus pass and then walk to the gay penis sucking convention

[suddenly really serious] and I respect that.

[jame7t]

“Your pet would eat you if you died near it” yeah well so would a lot of people. My pet isn’t special. I give them food meal & never let them outside. Are they gonna open wet food themselves when I’m gone? Are you stupid? If I have to be the wet food to buy a little guy some time so be it. Fuck off