book of self-care

learning to be gentler with our selves, learning to be more compassionate company to our selves

[bookofselfcare]

“Living in shame is antithetical to the message of Christianity. To let shame rule our lives is to say that Christ isn’t enough and that He can’t redeem us.

The well-known phrase ‘Preach the Gospel to yourself’ is Jerry Bridges’ twist on Psalm 42:5 which says, ‘Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God … my salvation and my God.’

If shame emerges in your life, it is helpful to go back to the basics of Christianity and remember that shame has no long-lasting place in the life of a Christian.”

— Callie Glorioso-Mays, Honesty in a Culture of Church Taboos

[transparent-galaxy]

[noorshirazie]

If flowers can teach themselves how to bloom after winter passes, so can you.

(via hopelesslyhealing)

i think this just changed my life

(via hippieheir)

[bookofselfcare]

“Growing into the fullness of the person God intends you to be will take time. You must run your race with patience, but you can enjoy each stage of your journey. You can enjoy yourself during each phase of growth and improvement. As long as you are pursuing God’s perfect will for you, He is satisfied. It doesn’t upset God if we have not arrived, but He does want us to press forward.

The Holy Spirit is our coach in life. As long as we run our race and not someone else’s, He will always be running with us, giving us strength and ability for each step that we take.”

— Joyce Meyer, “Be the Person God Meant You to Be,” God is Not Mad at You: You Can Experience Real Love, Acceptance and Guilt-free Living

[bookofselfcare]

“As I seriously sought God’s counsel about why I had such difficulty in relationships, He taught me that I could not give away what I did not have. I had not received God’s unconditional love, so I could not give it to others. I had not received God’s complete forgiveness, so I could not give it away to the people in my life who needed it.

I saw God as angry about something most of the time, and l was angry most of the time about something, too. I was angry with myself for my flaws and also angry with other people for theirs. I hadn’t yet learned that our view of God affects our relationship with Him and all of our other relationships as well. We don’t need to wait until we are perfect to receive God’s love, and we must not demand perfection from others either. If we do, it will place a burden on them that they cannot bear, and it will destroy our relationships with them.”

— Joyce Meyer, “Be the Person God Meant You to Be,” God is Not Mad at You: You Can Experience Real Love, Acceptance and Guilt-free Living

[revelation19]

You were loved at your first breath.

[mydrunkitchen-blog]

[bookofselfcare]

“God is our Comforter, not our tormenter! Until we fully understand the character of God and have a proper view of Him, the fear of His not being pleased with us seems to be a poison that will permeate our thinking and compromise our lives… . God understands all of our pain, and He is the God of all Comfort Who comforts us in every affliction (2 Corinthians 1:3–4).”

— Joyce Meyer, “Sad, Mad, or Glad?”, God is Not Mad at You: You Can Experience Real Love, Acceptance and Guilt-free Living

[bookofselfcare]

“It is easy for Satan to deceive us if we don't know God's character.”

— Joyce Meyer, “Guilt and Shame,” God is Not Mad at You: You Can Experience Real Love, Acceptance and Guilt-free Living

[bookofselfcare]

“‘It’s dark because you’re trying too hard,’ said Susila. ‘Dark because you want it to be light. Remember what you used to tell me when I was a little girl. “Lightly, child, lightly. You’ve got to learn to do everything lightly. Think lightly, act lightly, feel lightly. Yes, feel lightly, even though you’re feeling deeply. Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them.” I was so preposterously serious in those days, such a humorless little prig. Lightly, lightly—it was the best advice ever given me. Well, now I’m going to say the same thing to you, Lakshmi … Lightly, my darling, lightly… . There are quicksands all about you, sucking at your feet, trying to suck you down into fear and self-pity and despair. That’s why you must walk so lightly. Lightly, my darling.’”

— Aldous Huxley, Island

[teenagepics]

[occult101]

You are loved just for being who you are, just for existing. You don’t have to do anything to earn it. Your shortcomings, your lack of self-esteem, physical perfection, or social and economic success - none of that matters. No one can take this love away from you, and it will always be here.

Ram Dass (via occult101)

[mr-leach]

Some things I’ve learned in the CBT clinics I’ve been going to regarding anxiety that I thought might be helpful to some.

[gloomed-deactivated20181018]

I need to show that panic disorder one to a lot of people wow

[byebyebabyblues]

THIS THIS THIS THIS

[apocalyptic-tea]

I’ve never seen a post about social anxiety which includes the bit about being REALLY outgoing in order to mask imperfections, which is EXACTLY what I do. This is a really great overview of the different anxieties and phobias.

[jonnovstheinternet]

[e-leri-deactivated20160430]

nothing says hope quite like flowers growing through the cracks in concrete

beauty can rise from ashes

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

If you think you have a shame-based personality then the following suggestions might help you deal with this.

First … What NOT to do

1. Recognise that you’re being lied to –what they’re saying isn’t true. The truth is you’re a valuable and worthwhile individual. Choose to believe that this is...

[my-teen-quote]

[hours]

[bookofselfcare]

excerpts:

“[T]he best way to cope with FoMO [Fear of Missing Out] might be to recognise that, at our frenetic pace of life, we are sometimes bound to miss out. And that, when we do, we might actually improve the outcomes of the options we have chosen.

This simple approach was first introduced in 1956 by Herbert Simon, an American multidisciplinary researcher and Nobel Prize Laureate in Economics. He used the term ‘satisfice’ – a portmanteau of ‘satisfy’ and ‘suffice’ – to suggest that instead of trying to maximise our benefits, we seek a merely ‘good enough’ result. Simon’s strategy relies on the assumption that we simply do not have the cognitive capacity to optimise complex decision-making. We cannot process the mass of information entailed in weighing all available options and probable outcomes – both on the social networks and off. Thus, the best move is ‘satisficing’ – choosing the first available option that meets our predetermined criteria, which is good enough.

In 1996, Simon published an autobiography describing his life as a series of discrete decisions in which he chose the ‘good enough’ option over a possible best one. Simon claims that most people who favour optimisation are unaware of the heavy toll that gathering information takes on their overall benefit. In routine decisions, the price we pay is in well-being: anyone with a friend who will not agree to eat anywhere but the most fashionable restaurant or who insists on shopping until the perfect outfit is found can appreciate the relief of a ‘good enough’ strategy.

Studies of Simon’s method have shown that people who insist on optimising decisions are ultimately less satisfied with their choices than those who made do with ‘good enough’. Other studies clarify why: the achievements of the former are actually lower than those of the latter, especially when the decision involved weighing possible outcomes. In a series of experiments led by the Swarthmore College social psychologist Barry Schwartz, participants filled out a self-assessment questionnaire determining their tendency to optimise decisions (based on their agreement with statements such as ‘I never settle for second best’ or ‘I often find it difficult to shop for gift for a friend’). Another questionnaire measured subjects’ propensity to feel regret; participants were then classified according to their answers on both questionnaires. The researchers found a negative correlation between the tendency to optimise and happiness, self-esteem and satisfaction, and a positive correlation between the same tendency and depression, perfectionism and regret. Another study in the series found that people who optimise also engage in more social comparison, and are adversely affected when they come up short.”

———————

“Perfectionism is the personality trait most associated with aspiring towards maximising the outcome of decisions. However, those of us who know perfectionists, know that for them life is one never-ending score sheet that throws them into a self-assessment tizzy of frustration, anxiety and sometimes even depression. Perfectionists tend to confuse error with failure, and their attempt to hide their errors, even the inevitable ones, prevents them from accepting the critical feedback so necessary for personal growth. They would probably give a great deal for the relief of being able to ‘satisfice’.”