Personally I do think that sometimes non-hockey fans can end up mischaracterizing Shane and Ilya because they don't know enough about hockey/hockey playstyles
The Ilya we see in Heated rivalry would not be throwing the first punch, he's not an enforcer. Ilya is a star center and a Pest. He wouldn't be doing his job correctly if he was punching players every other game, it would end up with not enough ice time to let him be the playmaker he's paid to be.
But being a pest can be playmaking! Find a player to bait, emotionally push them just enough that they try to fight you, and then get the fuck out of there before the ref gives you both penalties. This gets your team the power play. There is probably someone on Ilya's line dedicated to helping him get out of the fights he starts, and finishing them for him!
I also think this is also something that Shane would respect. Ilya is good at it and it's a good strategy for his team. I don't think Shane would see it as some dirty tactic, because Shane probably thinks everyone with a brain can see it for what it is! He probably thinks everyone should be able to see that being an asshole is a tactic for Ilya, that it's something to ignore and not fall for, that it's a strategy and not personal beef.
I think Shane's more disappointed when a Metro falls for it. Shane sees it as Ilya set up a Looney Toons ass obvious trap and one of his teammates ran into it. Why be mad at Bugs Bunny when you can be mad at your defenceman for falling for a fucking Bugs Bunny trap.
Recently managed to activate the most amazing infodump trap card.
I was driving through Vermont with a friend, and we pulled over at a tiny shop offering Maple Items. We were on the state highway, not the interstate, so "pulling over" meant "squeezing my tiny car into a parking bay the size of a broad highway shoulder."
As we got out of the car, an older woman emerged from behind the building where she had been pruning her roses. She introduced herself as Tammy.
Her shop offered the promised variety of Maple, but also a number of small antiques and a plethora of dog figurines, plaques, and clearly-hand-stitched garden flags.
A huge purple ribbon hung on the wall behind the register, along with many pictures of small dogs. This was no county fair ribbon. It was the size of my torso. The material had the soft sheen of actual silk.
As I placed my purchases on the counter, I asked, "Do you... Breed dogs?"
Yes. She does. She has bred Yorkies for the last 40 years. Her mother bred Yorkies before her. The purple ribbon was from her national championship winning Yorkie.
You may be expecting that the infodump was going to be about Yorkies.
It was not.
It was about 40 years of drama in the Yorkie breeding community. Where – you must understand – the judging at shows is often about who you're in with, not about the dogs. This is especially true when Tammy's opponents win anything.
And Tammy's mother! Well. Phyllis has been on the Yorkie scene since Yorkies were invented. Because of this, many women of equally venerable age hold deep grudges against Phyllis. The sort of grudges that result in episodes of Midsommar Murders.
This led to deep injustices against Phyllis on the part of judges and prevented her dogs from winning so often she retired from the scene. Judging is all about who you're friends with, after all.
After 20 years in hiding, Phyllis – the One True Queen of Yorkie Breeding – hatched a plot. She may have been out of the show circuit, but she was still breeding dogs. She entered an absolutely perfect bitch in the national competition, but sent her with a handler rather than go in person.
None of the usurpers knew who this dog belonged to, and in dog-breeding circles this Does Not Happen. This could have resulted in further injustices, but Phyllis was crafty. She knew this tournament was being judged by a man from the UK, who knew naught of the drama in the US Yorkie Empire.
With these advantages – and being the best dog there – Phyllis's bitch won the highest honor at the show.
Incensed by this insult to their ill-gotten supremacy, the other owners descended on the handler after the show, demanding to know for whom he was working.
"Phyllis," said he.
The name of the overthrown queen evoked horror in the usurpers.
"PHYLLIS!? She's still ALIVE!???"
Yes, Phyllis yet lived, and this bitch – the dog, not the woman – went on to mother Tammy's current dogs. One of whom, Lucy-Fur, is the reincarnation of Tammy's sister (also Lucy). This is certain for two reasons.
Firstly, Sister Lucy absolutely went straight to Hell upon her death, and Lucy-Fur the dog is positively as evil as Sister Lucy was.
Secondly, Sister Lucy always said when she died she wanted to come back as one of Phyllis's dogs because "mom treated the dogs better than us."
“knowing how to write effective AI prompts will be a valuable skill in the future” and what if I skip all that and write the email myself in under 30 seconds drawing from my very own biological database of language and rhetoric (my brain)?
I need people to realize that Shane is just as much of a little shit as Ilya, if not worse
He has that flat kinda humor that just hits you straight in the gut, like he's not even trying to be funny but he makes you laugh so hard you can't breathe
And his chirps? You know for a FACT that his chirps would be the most specific, oddly insulting thing you've ever heard
He's bringing up your stats, how your skates are tied, how you look like you're bad at this thing or that, something that is so obscure but makes you just stand there and think about it
He does silent pranks that have you losing your damn mind
Your tape? Gone. Your soap? Replaced. Your locker? Padlocked with the key melted. Your skate blades? Dulled. Your stick? taped to the fucking ceiling.
He also tweets like a mf. They're seemingly professional and pr approved, but they're so out of pocket everyone thinks his account got hacked
I need people to realize that he's such a fucking menace, and only Ilya is the one to know it because nobody believes him
Ilya prescribing Shane kisses- he sees him stressed or grumpy or sad or over thinking or simple it’s been two hours since they’ve kissed and the Ilya is walking over grabbing Shane’s face in his hands and being like in a low quiet serious voice ok this is very bad you need at least- hmmm (he squints at him) like twenty kisses right now and kisses all over his face like mwah mwah mwah mwah until Shane gives in and smiles or kisses him proper
So I'm maybe just a liiiiiiittle obsessive, and I wanted to work out the timeline of the show, and figured I'd share it with you all. I can't quite figure out how to format this for tumblr, so I'm going to just c&p images of the tables and then dump all of it in unformatted text I guess under a read more? Please let me know if you can think of a better way for me to do this (without retyping it all!) and please let me know if you see any errors to be corrected.
ETA: I'm sorry, I added some info to ep 6 after rewatching and somehow deleted the table for ep 5? But it's back now!
Bonus: season calendar pics that are not accurate (since the
Boston/Montreal games don't line up)
Metros: 2015-2016:
Boston 2016-2017:
Hopefully some folks will find this interesting and/or a good fic resource!
The episode timelines in unformatted text:
Episode 1
Approx timestamp
Text on screen
Notes
Start
December 2008
World Juniors (IRL held end of December – early January)
One week later
End of World Juniors
3:15
6 months later
NHL draft (IRL in 2009 held on June 26-27, 2009 lines up with the 6 months later note)
9:24
6 months later
World Juniors again; New Year’s Eve 2009-2010
11:27
6 months later
(so, end of June/beginning of July 2010)
Commercial filming; first hookup
26:37
3 months later
Beginning of 2010-2011 season (rookie season)
(October 2010 ish) BOS @ MTL
31:46
4 months later
(February 2011 ish – IRL ASG was January, 30 2011)
Middle of February according to reporter
Second hookup
40:22
2 weeks later
(End of February, beginning of March 2011) BOS @ MTL, but game cancelled due to weather
43:16
4 months later
End of 2010-2011 season
(Beginning of July – IRL awards June 22 2011)
Episode 2
Approx timestamp
Text on screen
Notes
Start
Summer 2011
1:26
Fall 2011
Start of 2011-2012 season
BOS @ MTL (no hookup onscreen)
1:55
Winter 2012
MTL @ BOS (no hookup onscreen)
2:28
Spring 2012
Boston playing San Francisco in playoffs, Montreal already out
End of 2011-2012 season
3:07
Fall 2012
Start of 2012-2013 season
MTL @ BOS (dick pic sent)
3:35
Winter 2013
Text re: 9 inches
3:55
Spring 2013
Montreal playing Boston in playoffs? No cup outcome in show
End of 2012-2013 season
5:11
Fall 2013
Start of 2013-2014 season
BOS @ MTL for first game of season (sex at Shane’s), presumably in October
14:46
Winter 2014
Sochi Olympics (12-23 February 2014)
26:19
Spring 2014
Ilya wins the cup
End of 2013-2014 season
Summer
Awards in Las Vegas (IRL June 24 2014), Ilya wins MVP, sex in Vegas hotel
Episode 3
Approx timestamp
Text on screen
Notes
Start
February 2014
Sochi Olympics (12-23 February 2014)
Four months ago
(Mid/late-October, 6 games into the regular season)
Scenes over two more games
Kip says the fundraiser with Elena is in ‘like two months’
13:22
2 days later
NY @ BOS
13:44
1 day later
NY @ MTL
33:01
Kip tells Elena it’s been ‘a little over two months’
(So around end December/early January)
Post-episode:
January 2015 – May 2017
????
Episode 4
Timestamp
Text on screen
Notes
Start
(game at some point, maybe from previous season?)
1:37
Summer 2014
Some texting, Ilya partying
2:45
---
Start of 2014-2015 season
As per calendar in locker room (but incorrect probably), October 11
Game & sex
3:07
Cup win for Montreal (May-June 2015)
End of 2014-2015 season
3:21
Summer 2015
Texting, working out, Ilya partying
4:16
Start of 2015-2016 season
As per calendar in locker room (but incorrect probably), October 11
Game & sex
4:36
Cup win for Montreal (May-June 2016)
End of 2015-2016 season
5:00
Summer 2016
Texting each other during normal activities, Ilya texting rather than partying
October 2016
Start of 2016-2017 season
Biodome trip with Hayden
Possibly Oct 17 as per locker room calendar; MTL @ BOS and tuna melt
Meal with parents
Meets Rose in Montreal – snowing outside (so anywhere Nov – April theoretically)
Two weeks later
BOS @ MTL – club scene with tATu
(probably some time in Late Nov/early Dec?)
Episode 5
Approx timestamp
Text on screen
Notes
Start
Wakes up with Rose – presumably NOT the night after the club with tATu
3:00
Dinner with Rose ‘later that week’
Ilya and Svetlana discussing upcoming ASG
11:27
2017 All Star Game
IRL ASG in 2017 – January 29
24:52
Two weeks later
MTL @ BOS
Shane visits Ilya for an hour
The next day
Shane finds out Ilya has left the team
Ilya says he’s going to stay in Russia for a week (so maybe approaching end of February)
42:19
1 week later
BOS @ MTL (I think?) - Metros ‘clinging to a wild card spot’ (Regular season IRL ended April 9 2017, so maybe missing a few weeks here?)
Shane gets hit, out for playoffs (Broken clavicle usually 6-12 weeks recovery; this could be beginning of March
46:44
May 2017
Shane still in sling; Boston eliminated from playoffs
49:45
One week later
NY wins the cup (must be a series sweep if it’s only one week for the whole round?), Scott kisses Kip on the ice
End of 2016-2017 season
Approx timestamp
Text on screen
Notes
Start
NHL awards (IRL June 21 2017) – confirmed to be in June by Ilya talking to David and Yuna
i think everyone has a version of gotham in their heads and i want to slowly draw mine...starting off with one of jason's safe houses.
in the comics it's super clean and modern but in my mind it's a bit industrial too. and no way it's going to be that neat if roy crashes there from time to time - i've seen how roy lives, i don't think he knows how to clean
🏳️🌈♠️Kira💀🏴 @booksbeatromance - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
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