Books, Bones & Borderline

home to many poetic breakdowns

[booksbonesborderline]

life is so different now, full of joy and happiness and friendship

so why does my breath still get caught in the back of my throat, chills run down my spine and my heart threaten to break in my ribcage when i see signs of life

[booksbonesborderline]

it pisses me off to know he’d relish in the fact that in the quiet moments where i am alone, still, in the dark, i can feel his cold breath on the back of my neck

he would relish in haunting me, not yet scrubbed completely off my tarnished skin

[booksbonesborderline]

thinking about your abuser is crazy cause why is it like

“i wonder if you know what you did”

“i wonder if youve changed”

“i wonder if it was really abuse at all”

“i wonder if you think about me”

“i wonder if you hate me”

“i wonder if you think i was the one in the wrong”

“i wonder if i was”

[booksbonesborderline]

even my most recent collection of work is all about desire and consumption, im haunted by the human need to eat

it is inescapable, it will digest me alive and whole

how ironic.

[booksbonesborderline]

feeling like id rather carve out every inch of my own body than ever catch a glimpse of myself in any remotely reflective surface ever again

[booksbonesborderline]

i love when i buy 2 new pairs of jeans in a size up from a pair i own that do fit but are a little too snug for my taste and then the new jeans dont fit but also fit like i need 2 sizes up (so 3 sizes up from a pair of jeans that does fit me).

i love when companies don’t have standard sizing and make me feel like a disgusting fat fucking whale, its so nice and fun and friendly and quirky of them😍😍😍😍

[booksbonesborderline]

my steady hands, the hands that itch to create, now shake with an urge to destroy, to ruin everything i’ve built, to bring myself back to rock bottom and run my hands through the coarse dirt

[booksbonesborderline]

“you were wrong for what you did to me,

but i was sick for kinda liking it”

- Bella Kay

[booksbonesborderline]

i let your broken hands mould imperfection into my very being, no wonder each flaw i feel rise out of the depths of my soul is an echo of you

[bakwaaas]

I’m extremely sensitive but also a hater

[booksbonesborderline]

all roads lead back here in some way or other, can’t just be happy, the lump of self loathing in the back of my throat is too large, far too disgusting and uncomfortable to swallow

[jiraizu]

୨♡୧

[booksbonesborderline]

sitting on the kitchen floor, listening to the hum of the fridge, mitski’s voice plays in the background, cradling a half empty glass of milk, crying. this is poetry.

[booksbonesborderline]

sitting this august out bc i chose happiness and peace with my girlfriend instead of cancelling plans just in case he’d call and living for the hope of it all for the 3rd year in a row

[booksbonesborderline]

long awaited tumblr update:

crazy what having a lovely girlfriend and stable relationship can do to a mf🙏

[trueblueboygenius]

Julien Baker performing at the Kennedy Center 6/14/24 photographed by Natania Krebs!

[foreverisafeeling]

on feeling blue

funeral - phoebe bridgers / claw machine - sloppy jane & phoebe bridgers