violetta

There are too many times where I smile because of Magnus Damora, Herondale boys, bookshelves, and funny text posts. That is most of what you will find here.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[overthinkinglotr]

I love that thing in Lord of the Rings where the villains spend so much time obsessing over the character they believe is their Destined Archenemy that they overlook the character who actually defeats them

The Witch-King of Angmar, the Black Rider, seems to be Destined to fight the wizard Gandalf, the White Rider.  He doesn’t consider Eowyn a threat right up until she stabs him in the face 

Saruman is fixated on defeating Theoden, Aragorn and Gandalf in an Epic Light vs Dark Fantasy Battle at Helm’s Deep. So he completely overlooks the two hobbits and bunch of trees sitting right next door, who proceed to destroy Isengard

Sauron is fixated on defeating Aragorn, the Destined King of the Heroes and descendant of the man who defeated him last time. So he completely overlooks Frodo and Sam, who proceed to actually defeat him

[gogogoeties]

They focused on the powerful, the mighty, the influential, not on those that many would consider weak. A bookworm, a gardener, two trouble makers - all of them hobbits, small and weak and pudgy creatures used to comfort and not known for their fighting skills. Ents -  gentle race that was decimated by half, slow to act, slow to move, hard to anger. And a woman who was looked at with patronizing eye, like she was playing dress up. They were arrogant in thinking that the only way they could perish was under a hand of someone as mighty as them, but they underestimated the strength of all the small people who fought for their freedom. 

[booksnmore]

“If the full moon loves you, why worry about the stars?”

— Tunisian proverb (via coffeeinspirations)

[8bitnatsuki-deactivated20200525]

So my grandmother passed recently, and I got her will

My birth father was always a piece of shit, always stealing from his mother and ditching his kids whenever he could, I got to his part of the will and

Grammy had the last laugh

[battlefalcon]

This is actually done for legal reasons. If Chad was excluded from the will entirely, he could make the case that he was supposed to be included but was forgotten, and get a big chunk of the estate. By explicitly giving him $1, it shows he wasn’t forgotten so he doesnt have a case.

[xxthyramensanxx]

Postmortem justice at its finest.

[apardonablemonomania-deactivate]

Hence the expression “cut off with a shilling”, for anyone who, like me, was always puzzled by it in old novels

[k3vxz93pfd28bdw0s2]

whenever a kid in school asked me to spell icup i would just keep spelling it e-y-e-c-u-p until they got annoyed and i asked “well how are you supposed to spell it” and then they would spell it out and fucking own themselves and never recover and have to change schools, every time, self-esteem obliterated for life

[pochowek]

being a wiki admin is the modern age’s equivalent of being a monk

[gutterballgt]

This reminds me of an old joke. As short as possible, here goes:

A new monk is accepted into the monastery. The head of the order leads him around, explaining his new duties. They finish in the room where they copy the old texts, and the new monk points at a heavily barred and locked door off to one side.

“What’s in there?”

“Those are the originals our ancient brethren copied from. We continue their tradition of keeping the copies fresh by re-copying them when the copies start to fade or there is a new translation.”

“Oh. Huh.”

“Yes?”

“I just… what if someone made a mistake somewhere? Like… copied down a word wrong or something? Do we just keep copying it wrong over and over again?”

The head of the order smiles benignly. “When you see how diligently we adhere to the texts, you’ll understand. It’s highly unlikely a major mistake was made. Rest assured, my son, we know what we’re doing.”

“Oh, of course, of course.”

However, much later that night, the entire monastery is awakened by a great howling from somewhere deep in the stones. They all, including the newest monk, run about, trying to find the source of the commotion. Eventually, they tumble into the copying room and see the formerly barred and locked door wide open. A flurry of crisp-edged papers have been flung about the room, several ancient texts swiped from their shelves. It’s a disaster.

“Master, are you all right?”

It’s a prudent question, as the head of the order is sitting at the small reading table inside the room, his head in his hands.

“…Master…?”

Then, quietly: “Celibrate. It says celiBRATE.”

[the-venereal-bede-deactivated20]

the most historically accurate monk joke

[thecreatorsproject]

[10knotes]

This regenerative candle creates a new candle as it melts. 

This is brilliant

[blackswallowtailbutterfly]

This is very good.

[parthenogenon]

This is meddling with forces we have yet to fully comprehend.

[heauxset---tastoned-deactivated]

It’s wax.

[unabashedlybi-deactivated201911]

[bellamynochillblake]

we’re going to have to call smut ‘lemons’ again, aren’t we? 

[im-reddie]

LEMONS!? WHEN THE FUCK WAS THIS?!

[bellamynochillblake]

oh you sweet summer child 

[encourage]

someone: we both said some things we didn't mean

me, thinking about how i was right and absolutely meant everything i said: ......... sure did, pal

[sandandglass]

[lilobears]

[nevver]

[sixpenceee]

This is how aluminum reacts with mercury

[rotenpk]

Chemistry what the fuck

[ryandevon]

R I S E

[wildshieldmaiden]

[charalanahzard]

Directors: doing it right.

[yo-daddys-my-bitch]

May the 10 of Pentacles bless your account with more money than you can spend. 💵✨

[hermes-is-my-homeboy]

10 of Pentz came thruuu

[violaslayvis]

Omg this actually works!!! Thank you 10 of Pentacles!!!

[borkdork]

I could seriously use this money right now….

[ashashi-corner]

Please give me my refund of 400$ soon…

[hermes-is-my-homeboy]

I feel obligated to reblog this every time it shows up in my dash

[hermes-is-my-homeboy]

No bragging, just 100% floored and grateful. Work hard, maintain a positive attitude, and believe that anything can happen.

[virgocity]

So I reblogged this exactly a week ago because I thought it was funny and uh lo and behold, a family friend wrote me a big ol’ check just to help me out of a tough financial spot AND my bank refunded me $32 for fees they’d originally taken out. SO UH YEAH. Reblogging this again in hopes that it brings equally good fortune to my followers.

[penprp]

Sure why not? Jobs bring in money and prosperity…

[leradny]

I NEED TO FIX MY CAR DOOR

[getlostpeeves]

It fucking WORKED.

[witchy-oates]

So I just retweeted this today and won $20 off a scratch off and made $30 on top of that, hallelujah 

[beeftea78-deactivated20200113]

Smash that mf reblog button if you stoically ignore all labelled washing instructions and everything your mama ever told you about laundry and just send those bastards hurgling around in an overfilled tub to meet either death or glory

[aphony-cree]

Something I learned from a costume designer: if an item can be washed multiple ways the designer is only legally obligated to put one of the ways on the tag, but if there’s only one way to wash that item they have to put Only on the instructions

If the tag says “Dry Clean” it’s safe to machine wash but the designer thinks it looks better if you get it dry cleaned 

But if it says “Dry Clean Only” you will destroy it if you wash it any other way

[fuzipenguin]

Reblogging for that last bit which this 37 yr old adult did not lnowy

[somecutething]

[squeakitties]

god leonardo dicaprio was such a huge meme for years for never winning an oscar and the instant he did in february 2016 all mention of him literally Vanished. aside from this very post i’m typing right now i don’t believe i’ve seen his name on tumblr in over two years.