love when scams are email based and people are oh they’re so easy to fall for, it looks so real. i’m not falling for that. and not because my email scam detecting skills are morally superior but because i never open my email.
Add realism to your fantasy stories by having characters from different backgrounds struggle to pronounce each others' names.
"My name is [low guttural sound] but I don't want to hear you butcher it. So you may call me She Who Arises With The Cold Mountain Sun."
"...Is that what your name really means? All that in just one word?"
"Yes. If you stress the wrong syllable it comes out as 'She Who Coldly Wakes Up The Mountain Sun', or 'The Cold Woman Who Wakes The Mountain Sun', and you will not call me that."
"Oh, huh. Could we just call you Mountain Sun, for short?"
"Hmh. It's boastful, almost bordering on blasphemy, but it is flattering. I accept it."
Do you think that Shen Yuan's relationship with the other Peak lords would fall apart over time? When you think about it, they've only known each other for like eleven-ish years, and he was dead for nearly half of that time. So, in reality, they've known each other for six-ish years in total (a relatively small amount of time for an immortal), while they knew Shen Jiu for nearly twenty. And you know the saying, absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Shen Jiu was not only in charge of an entire Peak but the second in command as well. He had responsibilities that I don't believe were ever fully given to Shen Yuan. With the belief that he was suffering from amnesia, that means that Shen Qingqiu is compromise. So, all the work that usually goes to him goes to everyone else. Lesson plans for the disciples now have to be approved by other Peak lords. Highly sensitive information and paperwork are now handled by one less competent person. Basically, Shen Jiu's workload now belongs to everyone else.
Shen Yuan is essentually that one asshole in every group who doesn't do shit. The personality that the peak lords have come to like better than Shen Jiu can only go so far, as well as the excuses.
"Oh, he has amnesia." "Oh, he's in mourning." "Oh, his been revived after being dead for five years" "Oh, his a newlywed."
When the excuses run out, that's when resentment would set in. That's when they start giving him back responsibilities, but realize quickly that his no Shen Jiu. Shen Yuan was essentially given a math problem and its answer, but never the steps on how to get said answer. He may have SJ's cultivation and muscle memory, but not his mind. As time goes on, the more they resent this "new" Shen Qingqiu and miss the "old" one. The more they realize that this is what a real spoiled young master Shen Qingqiu looks like, and they hate it.
yeah i don't think Shen Yuan has what it takes to shoulder Shen Qingqiu's responsibilities. But also the book doesn't take this aspect seriously, it's not a realistic story about a modern man trying to cope with overwhelming responsibilities of ancient Chinese peak lords, its a comedic take on a straight troll being forced into the story he complained so much about and mean to be haha its so funny how shen yuan might get tortured to death like his hated character. the irony of that is mean to be funny, we are supposed to laugh at shen yuan's struggles, including him being forced to take it up the arse to survive. it's not that serious.
but yes, realistically shen yuan wouldn't last long in that role. he also has a protagonist halo of a sort in which because he's the main character he's supposed to be well-liked and so on, is this realistically how people would react to him? maybe not, but because it's a story and he's the protag everyone ends up liking him. or at least, appearing to like him.
This post reminds me of chapters 4 and 15 of Escape From the Daytime Drama. The protagonist gets isekaied into the villainess of a daytime drama. She's forced to bully the original FL but unlike the woman whose body she's trapped in who was viewed as evil because of her overdramatic actions- Leaking company secrets and blaming the Orig FL for it, Hires someone to kidnap her and trying to murder her to name a few- the FL focuses on how the drama tries to be somewhat realistic but throws logic out the window when the plot needs it. Like how after the Original FL's adoptive mother slaps her with Kimichi and tells her she's going to hell for telling them a secret they didn't know that was useful in preventing them from accepting their daughter's marriage to the ML, the brother of our villainess FL, she demands to know how the woman got past security and shows that in the video from the security cameras she just walked up without a problem which shouldn't be possible if security was doing their jobs properly. Of course, she knows that since that plot calls for her to be slapped with Kimchi the mom walking past security didn't seem like a problem to them until AFTER she brought it up.
In chapter 4 the FL brings up the fact that the original FL's coworkers can't do anything when they're busy picking up her slack. The FL even says "You're a team, not someone's cheerleaders yet the entire team is making sacrifices for one person." Cause when the original FL leaves work for personal reasons for the plot they have to do her work for her and fall behind on their own work.
Our FL says her way of being a villainess is by forcing the ridiculous drama characters to face the truth. By riling up the people around the Original FL she doesn't have to attack the other woman directly because the change in treatment will be enough to make her miserable.
In 15 the results of her saying that are shown. Her teammates all give the Original FL back her work that they were doing for her all at once and they're justifiably cold to her who dumped so much of her work on them while she goes and leaves whenever she pleases to play the role of the female lead without even having to take time off.
I got a bit rambly but Escape from Daytime Drama comments on the fact that the Daytime Drama unrealistically lets the original FL do as little work for her job as she pleases because the occupation she's choosing to focus on is the female lead of a Drama that throws logic out the window.
TLDR, in chapter 4 of Escape From Daytime Drama the FL of the story who isekaied into the villainess of a Daytime Drama points out that the original FL barely does her job because she's so focused on being the Drama's Female Lead, and in chapter 15 her teammates refuse to pick up her slack anymore.
I was reminded of this because you brought up how in Scum Villain Shen Yuan is liked because his personality isn't that of a traumatized misandrist but when you think about how Shen Yuan's not doing any of original Shen Qingqiu's implied work and only does the bare minimum we see Shen Yuan do in the book(s) his protagonist halo is going to have to work harder to keep him likable in the eyes of the rest of the sect. Or maybe the halo system won't. It really only cares about Luo Binghe and it's not like he'd give a shit if he's the only person that like his inefficient "Shizun."
Actually no, I can see him being furious that people don't like Shizun and that they view him as incompetent. However, if they view him as useless and like him less that means Shizun has more time for him. So his blazing bonfire of rage simmers down to like a small campfire of frustration.
but then of course the same thing happens, and Wu Yanzi is now cheated of the chance to break the cycle. so it becomes endlessly recursive. the best way to do it, would probably be to have someone transmigrate as a good friend to one of the abused, or to enact an event to help one of them break out of the cycle, otherwise someone is always cheated out of breaking the cycle themselves
once again i do not think shen yuan could top shen jiu or call him a bitch and if somehow did, shen jiu would break his face. like this guy killed his owner, why the fuck would he put up with shen yuan's stupidity for more than a second? why would he let shen yuan insult him? like ever? he beat lbh for talking back, what makes you think he wouldn't beat shen yuan??
Wouldn't it depend on when and where? Street kids? Yeah, I can see that. As disciples? At the very least he'd be smart enough to wait until they get sent on a mission where it'd make sense and he wouldn't be blamed for it- she says looking at Liu Qingge- Is Shen Yuan some rich kid? Might want to but he's not STUPID so he grits his teeth and bares it.
am i the only one who doesn't think Shen Jiu cared too much about the sect? maybe he cared about Yue Qingyuan sure, but would he really sacrifice everything for the sect?
i really wish Shen Jiu was more evil and didn't give a damn about Yue Qingyuan either
I know this is not a new sentiment but I also think a lot about a version of the original Luo Binghe that would have kept Shen Jiu alive through sheer force of will once he removed his limbs. And I'm pretty sure Shen Jiu had reached inedia, so it's not like he'd need to eat or drink. Every time he starts to waver, I'd imagine LBH would just flush his meridians with spiritual energy like he was a glorified defibrillator pad. I think he'd want the satisfaction of SJ never knowing peace or getting the chance to reincarnate, but I think part of him would also chase the words of praise just once. Like if he got one "good job" from the man who was supposed to teach him and make him into a proper cultivator, he wouldn't have been fixed entirely— he'd driven himself too far into ruin for that— but something in him would have finally clicked. Maybe he would have shown mercy.
But I feel like SJ would have too much pride to ever give him that. So on the extremely rare occasions he does speak to LBH, it's just to mock him or try to spit in his face despite not having eaten or drank anything for a long period of time.
It's an endless cycle and LBH literally cannot bring himself to stop because he has something to prove.
I honestly think Qiu Haitang, Liu Mingyan, or the little palace mistress might just go and kill him themselves. The first 2 hate him and I see all 3 as impatient.
Ning Yingying is supposed to be kind right? She might mercy kill him while A-Luo is busy.
SY transmigrates into PIDW as a small orphan child. The streets he live on aren't kind - they're filthy, there's no food, and the other little brats are more than willing to beat each other for scraps. It's brutal! More than any modern man can bear! Please system, take him back to his nice, air-conditioned apartment!
System: Error. User 002's request denied. 😄🎉🎉
SY sighs. He can already tell this is going to suck.
Starving, and with little else to do, he sets off for CQMS. As SY sees it, becoming a disciple or sect servant is currently the best chance he has for survival. At least if he gets accepted, he'll be given something to eat, and maybe even see the protagonist LBH! Of course, he'll have to run for it before the Abyss arc begins - no use staying around just to be killed off. But until then, a meal is a meal! He'll do whatever it takes!
…SY never wants to see another hole ever again! He'd had the good luck to arrive at the mountain gate during the middle of CQMS' disciple selections, but the glee he'd felt over that had soon been carved out of him. For hours, he'd been digging in the dirt, tunneling deeper and deeper with the skinniest fucking arms ever to grace mankind! And all for a dumpling, and a bedroll?! No thanks! SY quits!
...
...SY cannot get out of the hole he's made. Somehow, he'd dug much deeper than head height, and his malnourished arms haven't the strength to pull him back up. SY wants to cry. He might as well have dug out his own grave!
The sun's heat is sweltering now, and SY squints as he gazes up at the sky far, far above.
"...Shit."
SY is going to die. He hasn't even really lived yet, and he's going to die! Again!
He's about to lay down in acceptance of his fate, when a hand reaches into the hole to draw him out of it - like a knight in shining armour pulling him to freedom, or a mother cat dangling its kitten by the scruff of its neck.
In any case, SY looks up with watery eyes at the person who'd saved him. It's an older cultivator - one of the peak lords? Whoever the man is, he's surely the most divine of immortal masters. The most heavenly of gods! Thank you, kind shizun! Your grace in accepting this poor, weak millennial will not be forgotten!
----
…SQQ has no idea what's up with this kid, staring at him with starry eyes, but it's...acceptable. Much better than open scorn, at least. He can mould awe into loyalty. Scorn could only be met with discipline.
SQQ asks for the child's name.
"Shen Yuan! And Shizun…?"
SQQ blinks. An orphan named Shen? What a coincidence. "This master is known as SQQ."
He squints at the child. He can't have the little brat running around, drawing attention to his name and less than proper upbringing. That could invite scrutiny as to SQQ's origins, and SQQ is not revisiting the nightmare of his childhood for anyone.
"Whatever gutter you crawled out of, you will never mention it to anyone, understood?"
He glares at SY until the boy nods timidly, those freakishly bright eyes shining with tears. SQQ sneers at the display. Weak. Pathetic. Like a stupid little sheep.
"Come," he orders, starting to stride off without waiting for reply.
"Y-yes!"
SQQ leads his new disciple back to Qing Jing Peak, and has MF show the filthy little wretch the baths. Once he's clean, he can be put to use.
----
SY is horrified. He takes it back! He doesn't want any food, and he doesn't want to be seen with SQQ! He's grateful for the opportunity, but really, he has to go. If he stays on Qing Jing Peak, LBH will turn him into a popsicle alongside his asshole shizun!
But...is SQQ really all that bad? SY wants to slap himself for thinking it - this is the man that beat and maimed the protagonist, after all! It's just, Shizun seems fairly...normal? Not what he'd expected of a trash tier villain at all.
Sure, SQQ is prickly, and kind of an ass, and he gets really weird if anyone startles him, but he's not evil evil. In fact, excluding his at this point hypothetical treatment of LBH, he's practically lax regarding punishments. SQQ simply doesn't care that much, unless something affects his peak's image, or his preferred tea time. It's all immaterial to him - he has better things to do.
Seriously, the way the novel painted it, SY expected to be beaten bloody for even the slightest infraction. In reality, misbehaviour on QJP usually lands a disciple running laps, or doubling their amount of chores for the month.
...Truthfully, SY's starting to think his shizun's bark is worse than his bite, not that he'd ever say that to SQQ's face. Trust Airplane to mess up such broad strokes of characterisation in his shitty, third rate novel!
However, that's not to say SQQ is all kindness and roses. He's not. He's rude, and abrasive, and he has hit SY - after SY rushed up to a Heart Eyed Purring Snake and nearly got himself killed for his efforts. It wasn't fun exactly, but it was in hindsight - kind of - deserved. Still, it hurt and SY was mad about it for quite a while, until he realised LQG's disciples get beaten worse and with more frequency than anyone on QJP.
Anyway, the point is SY sort of enjoys mooching off CQMS, but he really doesn't want to be here when LBH appears and SQQ inevitably devolves into a raging lunatic. Sorry, Shizun! Your disciple is grateful for your care, but he's also a coward! Best of luck in the afterlife!
But, then SY thinks…perhaps if he befriends LBH, everything will be well? If he sucks up to the little demon emperor well enough, then surely the big demon emperor will spare him when he razes his home to the ground? Plus...SY still thinks it would be cool to meet the protagonist, if only once...
He decides to stay. Just for a little while longer.
----
SQQ finds the new child tolerable.
"Trash," he murmurs, flipping the page of the terrible novel Xiao Hua slipped him the last time he'd visited the Warm Red Pavilion girls. Really, what kind of emperor would disguise himself to seduce a woman? There were already 400 wives waiting for him at home!
"Shizun?"
The voice comes from beside his ear, far closer than he'd prefer to allow. SQQ turns to glare at the obnoxious little brat it came from, but his ire slides over SY like water off a duck's back.
"What are you reading?" the boy asks.
SQQ places the book facedown on the table.
"Did I ask you to speak?"
SY blinks up at him with those stupid, pretty eyes of his. SQQ bites back the urge to scoff.
"Don't look so airheaded," he snaps. "And mind your business. Do you even know what happens to boys who can't keep to thems-?"
He cuts off with a snarl. He shouldn't mention it. Why should he care what happens to pretty, naive children who speak out of turn? SY isn't like NYY. He'll soon grow into less of an obvious target. And he isn't an urchin to be stolen away anymore, either. No, SY has clothes and food and a roof over his head - all for free. He's practically spoiled.
SQQ hates spoiled little brats.
He flicks open his fan to hide his expression - whatever his face had done has that stupid boy looking alarmed.
"Sorry, Shizun," the boy replies. "I'll go get lunch then?"
SQQ huffs. "See that you do."
And the dumb little sheep scurries off to do just that. SQQ's fan slams back down upon his reading desk.
"Idiot creature."
SY is too submissive for his own good. It'll get him hurt one day. See if SQQ helps him then!
----
Later, when SY returns to clean away SQQ's dishes, he happens to discover the book the man was reading left out in the main room. Curious, he scans the room for signs of his shizun's presence, then carefully flips open the first page. He begins to read.
...
"What the hell? What is this knock-off trash?! Emperor Luo Bingge?!! Is there an Airplane in this world, too?!!"
SY is so disgusted, he doesn't notice sly eyes watching him from around the silk screen.
It serves that little brat right for being curious.
----
SY waits years for LBH to show up, but for some reason, he never does. Which is weird, because his system keeps tallying up protagonist satisfaction points! Largely, when SY interacts with Shizun, for some reason...
SY sighs. At least that means he's alive out there somewhere. Hopefully, very, very far away from CQMS. SY may be a big fan of LBH, but he doesn't really want his home destroyed - especially since Shizun only just had a new kitchen installed. Most of the work maintaining it has fallen to SY, due to his excellent (system approved) cooking.
Honestly, SY finds it much more relaxing than he'd expected. When he first transmigrated, he'd thought it was some sort of messed up joke to grant him culinary prowess without also granting him food to eat. Definitely not the kind of skill you'd attribute to some skinny little street rat (or anyone who'd previously poisoned themselves to death).
But now, he's grown into the art. It's fun. Chopping things relieves stress. Boiling things relieves stress.
...
If anyone messes with his spice organisation ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME, he's going to practise his knife skills on them.
...
...SY may or may not be getting anxious. He's started stress baking batch after batch of choc chip cookies everyday. No one can eat that many cookies! SY isn't even certain this universe is meant to have cookies.
"Binghe," he sighs, pulling out today's fourth batch from the poor, overworked oven. "Please come soon. This old man's nerves can't take it."
----
SQQ, passing by the kitchen: TF is Binghe? Why is SY waiting for them? SY is my stupid disciple. I own him! 😡
SY later finds a snapped fan left outside the kitchen door. How it came to be there is a mystery, but as he recognises it as Shizun's he supposes he should have it fixed...
For a while after returning it, SQQ refuses to use any other.
"They're ugly," he says, gesturing with his prized fan. "Put them away."
SY quirks a brow. Are they really all that bad? He can't tell.
"Of course, Shizun."
----
SY does his best to productively fill the time while waiting for LBH's arrival. So far, he's dutifully cultivated a core, sneaked into the Lingxi Caves alongside Shizun to prevent him from murdering his shidi (only to find no murder going on, but a violent qi deviation on LQG's part - seriously Airplane?!!), and even fought one of SHL's dumb underlings when she thought to attack his sect.
And yet, still no Binghe!
At this point, SY is resigned to reach the Immortal Alliance Conference before the protagonist shows up - something he's not looking forward to at all. He doesn't want to compete in the stupid hunt. He's a no name NPC. He'll be lucky to survive!
...
And yet, the conference soon arrives.
"Don't die," his shizun kindly instructs, rapping him on the head with his fan. "I won't have you making QJP look bad."
SY sighs. "...Yes, Shizun."
As if he'd do it on purpose! SQQ, you have the face of an angel, but you're so cruel! 😭
----
Halfway through the main competition, SY is really starting to sweat. Where on earth is LBH? He has to be somewhere, because the system keeps. Yelling. At. Him. to make sure the protagonist ends up inside the Endless Abyss. As if SY wants anything to do with that! LBH would crawl back out and kill him!
System: Quest 'The Endless Abyss and Endless Hatred, a Sky Filled with Crystal Frost and Tears of Blood' must be completed or User account will be terminated. 😄😄
SY scoffs.
"Better that, than waiting for LBH to exact his revenge!"
He resolves to ignore the system until the end of the conference - he's not a chauffeur! LBH can find his way into the Abyss himself if it's so necessary!
...
Then, predictably, everything goes to hell. The ground is rumbling, ripping apart beneath SY's feet. To his left, a pile of corpses is swallowed by the ominous fissure splitting through the earth.
Across the field, SY can see SQQ calling to him.
"Shen Yuan! Come here this instant!"
His shizun's eyes are wide with something SY hasn't ever seen on his face before - fear? Constipation? But why-?
Suddenly, the earth below SY's feet crumbles. Caught unawares, his legs buckle beneath him.
For a moment, SY is scrambling over air, his feet sliding over loose dirt and bits of rubble in a frantic effort to steady himself.
Then...
...He falls.
As the wind is knocked out of him by the monstrously solid ground of the Endless Abyss, the system's voice chimes inside his head.
[Congratulations! Congratulations! Congratulations! User 002 has completed 'The Endless Abyss and Endless Hatred, a Sky Filled with Crystal Frost and Tears of Blood'. LUO BINGHE enters THE ENDLESS ABYSS! 🎉🎉🎉]
And SY suddenly has the most horrifying realisation of both his lives.
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN 'LUO BINGHE'?!!"
----
Not shown:
» SY being convinced Meng Mo is a vivid hallucination right up until the Abyss.
» SY taming every monster in said Abyss with his wifely allure.
» The system having to threaten SY with death to get him to claim his empire. He doesn't want it! Ruling is too much effort! Where's a Shizun when you need him? 😭 SQQ loves ordering people around! He'd be great at this stuff!
» SQQ and YQY patching up their relationship while SY is in the abyss. SQQ needs to vent his grief anger on someone, and it might as well be Qi-ge. YQY is so happy he could cry.
» Upon returning to the human realm, SY finds dealing with every single harem member tedious (seriously, he spent years in fear of looking at them wrong!), and creates a council to wrangle any marriage offers instead. If he wanted to be whipped, he'd ask his shizun for it, thank you very much! If he wanted to be verbally humiliated, he would also go to Shizun! If he wanted sex, well...SQQ apparently knows a lot about that, right?
(SQQ does not know a lot about that, thank you very much.)
Meanwhile:
QQQ: Your disciple's been turning down all his marriage prospects.
SQQ: 🙄 ...And? How does this affect me?
QQQ: He keeps telling them their wiles are nothing compared to the great immortal SQQ, and he'd rather have you instead.
SQQ: 😳 Impertinent child! I'll teach him to spout nonsense! 😡
SQQ storms into SY's palace and demands to speak with him.
SY: Shizun! 😄 How are you-?
SQQ: How dare you sully this master's reputation!
SY: Ah... I can't help being a demon, though?
SQQ: Who cares about demons?! Half the jianghu thinks we're intimate!
SY: !!!
SQQ: Therefore, I'm staying here to dissuade such nonsense! And to ensure you don't run this supposed 'empire' into the ground. Have chambers prepared for me. Appropriate ones!
SY: Ahaha... 😅 Yes, Shizun.
SQQ: 😠
It takes another three years of 'co ruling' (really, it's SQQ with all the power. SY has no head for politics) the empire before either SY or SQQ come to terms with any possible…feelings they might have regarding one another. Do they act on them? Absolutely not. Neither of them would be caught dead experiencing emotions in the presence of others!
(SQH has to orchestrate a wife plot into existence to save everyone's sanity.)
» Eventually, word spreads that the emperor and his heavenly demon consort take in any women in need and help solve their issues without asking anything in return (except to please leave SY alone!). Naturally, they're quite popular amongst the female population of the empire.
» SJ has the WRP girls relocated to the palace. Not to keep an eye on his husband! SY is so simpleminded, he would never think to betray him. However, there's only so many times you can walk in on strange women pawing up your trembling little sheep of a husband before it. is. enough.
» The WRP girls adore SY. He's so fun to dress up and bully!
» LMY becomes a prolific (and rich!) author. 😏
----
SQQ: is a walking red flag.🚩🚩🚩
SY: That's kind of hot, actually. He's just misunderstood.
The difference between true SJ apologists and LBH's fans is that we know how fucked up Shen Jiu was, and we recognize his misdeeds, meanwhile the others don't.
Back in those ancient times, corporeal punishments were the norm. It was something teachers were expected to deliver. But you don't see us SJ stans using that argument to excuse the abuse he inflicted on LBH.
Critical thinking and objective analysis of human behavior along with historical context seems to be a skill many in the svsss fandom lack.
Not long ago I've seen a post saying that they understand LBH going bat-shit crazy because one guy (Shen Jiu) rejected him, and that they would have done the same.
Like what the fuck--???
By your logic, can we excuse serial killers going on a rampage because the person they liked refused them?
Would you be OK with a crazy bastard taking it out on someone you cherish because of such stupid reason???
What the fuck is wrong with people?
It's not that hard to acknowledge the fucked up side of your favorite character.
Historically speaking, which I am quite passionated about, Shen Jiu as a teacher was entitled to do with his disciples however he pleased.
Liu Qingge beat up (still does btw) his students on a regular basis, but so far I haven't seen one comment condemning Liu Qingge for his actions, saying that this is how Bai Zhan functioned. Instead he is painted as this righteous cultivator who does no wrong, in both Canon and fanfiction.
Not long ago I've seen a post saying that they understand LBH going bat-shit crazy because one guy (Shen Jiu) rejected him, and that they would have done the same.
Honestly, my immediate thought was the post came from a guy because men IRL actually do that kinda thing when rejected or when they perceive they've been rejected.
I'm amused by some fic with the idea of Bingge searching his own Shen Yuan post extra Bingge vs Bingmei. Like...no, he doesnt' know WHO is Shen Yuan, he doesn't even know that name, he has seen a nice Shizun so he'll search a nice Shen Qingqiu, a Nice Shen JIU.
And i pray for that this nice Shen Jiu, if he exists, will never meet him or his peaceful life will be ruined.
Yeah neither Bingge or Binghe know Shen Yuan exists nor would they care for him if they did. They think Shen Yuan is Shen Qingqiu and the moment they find out he isn't they are ripping him apart for daring to impersonate their Shizun.
It's been mentioned by others that part of his obsession is because of Shen Qingqiu's appearance so while Binghe might be a bit upset he's not going to HURT the "Shizun" that's playing along with his delusions.
Bingge on the other sees this guy pretending to be his Shizun AND is making him think HE was the reason he didn't get a nice Shizun. Bingge I can see wanting to torture him, because Shen Yuan isn't in HIS Shizun's body so he has no reason to care.
honestly if i put shen jiu and shen yuan in the same story, shen jiu would just kill shen yuan over and over, looney tunes style.
the idea that they would be friends or lovers if they met in canon is absurd and entirely ooc. shen yuan hated shen jiu, and shen jiu would absolutely loathe shen yuan for being the exact kind of rich, careless young master he hates and who took over his body and used it carelessly. he would want him dead for that alone.
Silly SVSSS AU/fic prompt when Shen Jiu is away on mission finds baby Shen Yuan and takes him back, Shen Yuan looks like his previous self similar to Shen Jiu but not identical. So everyone is convinced he is biologically Shen Jiu's child.
The peak lords find out and freak out...only instead of assuming that the child other parent is a concubine they think it's one of the other peak lords.
Shen Jiu: I found that brat on a mission he's not mine
Qi Qingqi: So you just happened to find a abandoned newborn who looks almost just like you while away on a nine month mission
Shen Jiu: Yes
Qi Qingqi:...
Just every single peak lord looking at all the others like 'Which one of you is the other parent?' just constantly looking between Shen Yuan and other peak lords trying to find similarities.
Shen Yuan terrified thinking all the peak lords are onto him when really they're just trying to figure out which of them gets to claim him as the other parent. (Also some of them really want to court Shen Jiu and are ready to propose... they're all been trying to court him for ages 1 look at Shen Jiu being all sweet with baby Shen Yuan and suddenly the wife beam KO'd all of them)
(Apart form Shang Qinghua who when people suspected him raise both hands like
SQH: NO WAY I DIDN'T HAVE SEX WITH HIM I COULDN'T HAVE I'M ENGAGED TO A DEMON...
Peak lords: Your what?
SQH:...oh fuck
Cue Shang Qinghua awkwardly asking Mobei Jun to pretend to be his fiancee please... Mobei Jun thinks his courting has finally worked)
...see, Shen Jiu? Would totally go *thinks of all the plants that temporarily change someone's gender* *thinks about some bastard trying to show up and TAKE HIS baby later down the line, once Shen Yuan become "useful" enough in their eyes* *remembers you can't take SHIT from him... if HE is the Mother. And everyone already thinks he is a whore anyway.*
"......yes. This is My Son. Whom I bore. With my body." *picks up bby Shen Yuan and sweeps away dramatically*
Like? EVERYONE would be freaking out. Panicking. Wide eyed as they turn to a 1000 yard staring Mu Qingfang. Who is like? "I mean... yes... technically... that CAN happen. Even without sex." *dramatic shattering noises!!!*
Because? Look me in the eyes. Look Me In The Eyes.
And tell me such plants don't exsist. That "I wished really, REALLY hard and my Secret Love for X granted me a baby" or "Me and X held hands/mixed QI and it gave me a baby" etc. Doesn't exsist? That artifacts granting "True Love Children" don't exsist?
Bloodlines are important! But gay people still exsist! Where there's a will, there a Cultivation WAY! And sometimes? People then fuckin DIE on you and then LEAVE that shit just LYING around for people to trip over!
D...did his last check up cause this? Was it Lui-shixiong's last challenge? The situationship with the Sect Leader? An ill timed "I wish he understood the plight of women" thought from their martial sister? It could be ANYTHING!
It could even be that baby A-Yaun looks like Shen-shixiong's late parents! Some traits skip generations! In which case, he would be trying to raise his son as a single mother! Unsupported!! *progressively more frantic thoughts*
Honestly? The Disciples should go to WAR over it. Create elaborate backstories and revised history to fit the new narrative. THEIR Shizun is obviously the Father. The REST of you are delusional! See? They made a time line! A fifty page report/presentation! They are CLEARLY correct!!! So stop getting in the way of this burgeoning new family!!! You HOMEWRECKERS!!!!!!! D:<
Though Shen Yuan was a pathetic bitch who wasted time reading a story he thought was terrible which clearly wasn't as bad as he claims it is considering it won most popular Stallion novel of the year AND was successful enough that Shang Qinghua used it to pay his bills.
batboys as things i did back when i was an evil third grader
bruce: when people kept telling him that they prayed that his parents would live, he blank stared and said “well your prayers didn’t work.”
dick: when bruce brought in a bird egg to incubate and try to save, dick thought it was candy and ate the entire thing and then lied about it and blamed it on the dog.
jason: got grounded from tv and decided to write an essay on monsters inc and read it aloud as loud as possible at 6:30am
tim: told everyone in his class that he was part dog on his grandma’s side. did not realize that he was publicly accusing his family of Bestiality.
damian: told everyone that he was a werewolf and would throw intense tantrums when someone told him werewolves weren’t real to the point his classmates started playing along out of fear.
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