Amanda please read this I'm really scared I don't fit in here I feel like everyone hates me and I want to go home so bad I feel so left out I feel like crying
we're not kids anymore.

oozey mess
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
RMH
Monterey Bay Aquarium
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
NASA
Keni

Origami Around
d e v o n
todays bird
AnasAbdin
hello vonnie
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
KIROKAZE
occasionally subtle
ojovivo
trying on a metaphor
Stranger Things
styofa doing anything
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from Bulgaria
seen from Bulgaria
seen from Bulgaria
seen from United Arab Emirates
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Oman
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
@borderlinejord-blog
Amanda please read this I'm really scared I don't fit in here I feel like everyone hates me and I want to go home so bad I feel so left out I feel like crying
me:*want to hang out with people so that I feel better,wanted and loved*
me:*constant worry while hanging out with people that i'm not good enough,i'm annoying and in fact they don't want me around*
me: what's...the...Solution..,,
I'm sick I'm so fucking sick I shouldn't have stopped taking my meds I'm trying to talk myself down from this breakdown but I can't I know that they invited me and I couldn't come until later so obviously they'll be doing things until then but it just fucking feels like they don't want me there they would all have so much fucking more fun if I didn't come I feel like I've been kicked in the throat I feel dead they've been posting things of what they've been doing without me and I feel like they hate me I feel fucking worthless and hated and I don't want to show up at all I feel like not fucking going at all and I know someone logical would say that the few hours without me aren't anything if I'm supposed to be spending a few days but they wouldn't feel what I feel right now I feel like I've been stabbed to death and I'm the left over corpse
I hate that BPD makes me think everything is about me. for example, say someone is having a bad day I automatically think it's because of me and my presence & I can't get that out of my head even if they reassure me it's not me. if I think someone looks at me kinda funny I think it's because they hate me when really they probably didn't think twice about me. how if I don't get my way I feel like I'm not loved or valid. things like that. it just makes me so selfish. I don't want to be selfish
Yessss baby. I feel this so hard. 😔
My mental illness: and thats reason number 56 that you should die
Me: good job that was very well thought out
Me: but can i go to sleep now
I’m supposed to be up in like an hour to go to Aruba but I feel so hated I want to suffocate I feel so fucking hated I feel annoying and horrible and pathetic and I want to lock myself in my room until I fucking starve to death
fuck her if she doesn’t like me oh fucking well if she’s found better people then good I’m sure they deserve her I’m sure sure ghdr she’ll get the friendship she actually wants instead of ficking piting me the entire fucking thing has been her pitying me and hating me and I’m fucking done I’ve met other people too and they when I fhink about it actually do not know me at all when I think about it I’ve never felt more fabricated than I do when I’m with them I’m fuckimg nothing I am nothing she hates me and around anyone else I’m painfully translucent I can’t do this
me: no one will prove to me that they genuinely care about me fp/friends: *prove that they love me and care about me* my borderline ass:
when ur fp posts pics from something you weren't apart of
me: don't be petty don't be petty don't be petty don't be petty don't be petty don't be petty don't be petty don't be petty don't be petty
also me: already splitting, intentionally refusing to like the pic, being extremely petty
You ruin your relationships because you are a liar and try to control things that are out of your hands. You drove away the one person who only wanted to love you and nothing more. You were too paranoid to see there was no betrayal in sight. So you betrayed yourself and hurt the one you loved. Now this is the price
concept: I’m my own fp. Fuck everybody else. I support and love myself and I’m not emotionally dependent on others.
hello operator? how do I stop feeling sad and dysfunctional every time I see someone do something better than I do it
dont talk to me or my 7 fabricated personalities ever again
I'm going to hill myself soon and I'm trying to just see my therapist since I finally saved enough money and just tell her that I'm going to kill myself because I want help and to be fixed and Cured more than I want to do it I don't have a gun and it's harder than I thought to get one but Thad the way I want to go I am hated by everyone and I can't breathe every night I am having panic attacks and throwing up because of how intense and physically sick being unwanted and not needed makes me. I need to be told how much I am loved and given a handful of new medication I need to get a brain transplant I need something if this appointment does not go well I am not going to bother to face senior year if my therapist cannot provide me with help then this is the end I cannot take anymore of this its torture and it's not fair I don't need to be suffering like this when there is relief in ending my life. I will be in a better place a place where I can finally FINALLY take a breath that does not hitch in my throat and make my body shake
me: *wants to seem emotionless and like I don’t care* also me: *is angry all the time and cares very strongly about stupid stuff*
Tfw you want to be a kind and loving person who radiates good vibes all the time but you have Borderline Personality Disorder
What People With BPD Wish Their Friends Understood
1. “Even the slightest sign of rejection destroys my world. Things like not answering texts, not picking up the phone or canceling a date on short notice leaves me devastated, thinking my friend hates me and doesn’t want to be with me anymore. Fears of abandonment are hard to deal with.”
2. “I’m crap at keeping in touch; I don’t mean to be. I love all the people in my life, I just don’t want my illness to affect them. I also carry shame from the times it has, making it hard to face people.”
3. “I wish friends knew how sensitive I truly am. I feel so deeply in every emotion. Bear with me, and don’t walk away. BPD really shows you how many of your friends are true. Stay strong, fellow BPDers.”
4. “I don’t mean to be annoying, but fear of abandonment and rejection makes me feel like I need constant validation.”
5. “I keep absolutely everything to myself to avoid the embarrassment, rejection and the anxiety I go through trying to get out what’s inside.”
6. “I always feel like a burden on my friends. Or like I’m just in the way. I’m scared I annoy everyone around me. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to show my friends how much I love and appreciate them.”
7. “I don’t cope with cancelled plans very well, especially if they’re last minute. I feel as if they have found something better to do and don’t want to see me — even if that’s not the case.”
8. “That person who comes out sometimes isn’t me. I feel like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I’m stuck in this tiny corner of my mind, watching as I lash out at people, inwardly screaming to stop. Afterwards I’m so ashamed and embarrassed I feel like I don’t deserve to live. The people who stay with me despite Jekyll are my heroes. I couldn’t make it through this without you. I love you all, and thank you for not abandoning me.”
9. “I wish other people could know the pain I feel inside. It feels like I’m internally bleeding the vast majority of the time, and if I don’t feel scarred and raw, I feel numb. Overall, I feel like a wandering, vacant hole who needs constant affirmation that I exist. Sometimes I struggle and wonder if I am real. I feel like a tremendous burden to everyone, especially my boyfriend and therapist. I feel constant shame about the way I behave, and my therapist usually gets the brunt of my “love-hate” cycles. Most of the time I can hide my symptoms from others, but they can spill out. Sometimes I want to disappear. I work in the world of mental health, and frankly, people with BPD are often treated like lepers. I’ve seen ‘difficult’ people labeled as ‘borderline’ if others can’t understand what’s going on. Even my therapist gets frustrated at me at times, and it makes me feel like I’m too much, like I’m damaged goods.”
10. “No matter how great our friendship may be, no matter how much fun we have and laughs we share, if I’m having one of those days it doesn’t matter what you say or do: I just constantly think my friends hate me. I feel like I’m not as good as them. I feel they must not really like me because I don’t like myself, so how could they? No matter what I try, whether it’s trying positive thoughts like: ‘Would they be with me if they didn’t like me?’– it doesn’t matter. I will always feel I’m not good enough for anyone — friends or family.”
11. “People with BPD have tremendous compassion and empathy. We can feel with people in a way others often can’t. We have a lot of strengths even though we feel fragile.”
12. “If I had any friends, I’d ask them to understand my extreme emotional sensitivity. I’m sorry I can’t watch ‘Game of Thrones’ or ‘Walking Dead.’ The violence stays with me. I can actually feel the fear, the sadness, the horror the victim experiences.”
13. “When I have an upswing, I forget myself and just go on impulse. Sometimes that means endless reposts on Facebook, to the annoyance of some. But it’s just my way of working things out in a less dangerous way than I could be.”
14. “I put on a very hard confident shell every day, but it’s not real. Not in the slightest.”
15. “When I flake out on plans all the time, it’s not that I don’t want to spend time with you, it’s that I’m afraid if I spend too much time with you, you will discover I’m as horrible as I think I am.”
16. “My emotions are extreme, and I can’t control how I feel. I feel things so over the top, and it’s hard to come back to baseline. The abandonment feeling happens if it’s just an acquaintance, never mind if it’s someone I’m close too. And yes. I cry in response to my feelings. And no, I’m not acting childish. It’s just how I’m wired.”
17. “It’s not the easiest thing to explain. And when I finally do find the words to explain it, their first reaction is self-diagnosing themselves with it or saying everyone has that.”
18. “I don’t even understand BPD myself, so be patient with me.”
19. “I don’t seek attention. And every single day I get up and force myself to keep going and function is a huge accomplishment.”
20. “I am not a lost cause.”
21. “It’s incredibly lonely to have a disorder that affects how you handle interpersonal relationships. We wear loneliness like a cloak, weighted down with insecurity and doubt. We love our friends and families. Even when we pull away, even when our emotions are out of control, even when fear keeps us from demonstrating or saying the words, we still love you. We are not perfect. No one is. But we are worthy of your trust and your love.”