To Make A Better Me

Jace | 22 | he/him they/them Just trying to navigate this meat suit ... cw: 105.6 gw: 99 ugw: 95 not pro i just need somewhere to talk

[borntobeamasterpiece]

11/14/21

Its been a minute! Life is a lot right now ya know. Gained some so i'm back up to 107 : /

Now that i'm single though i dont have to have so many supervised meals which should help 😅😅

This weeks goal: MORE WATER! LESS SODA!

[haenueli]

Two Halves - Yuumei

[borntobeamasterpiece]

Went to the fair and gave my self a bit of a cheat day. After eating 1/3 of a pretzel i suggested my friends & i get popcorn and my friend said "popcorn? Didnt you just eat?"

And if that didnt completely shut down my whole self, end my cheat day, and ruin the fair idk what did 🙃

[borntobeamasterpiece]

So uh 99.4 lbs this morning 😳😳😳😳

[ternovye]

Serpent

[borntobeamasterpiece]

Lactose Intolerance, binged on cheese based foods. Welcome to: bathroom hell special edition

[borntobeamasterpiece]

Best part about going to urgent care instead of my primary doc? I could lie to the nurse about my weight and she didnt give a fuck. She had no frame of reference :)

[halleehalfgallon]

I’ve lately been struggling with waking up and getting going in the morning, so I’m leaving these reminders here to go through next time I forget why this routine is so important. you might find it helpful too if you also struggle with ADHD, executive dysfunction, disordered sleep, time blindness etc.

• waking up in the morning does feel good, it’s just difficult at first. the dread you feel when you know you’re sleeping through your alarms is much less enjoyable, much less restful than actually waking and moving your body to a new location to let the morning settle in.

• vibrate-only alarms are much easier to ignore in your sleep. find a sound that is somewhere in between relaxing and startling. calm little melodies just become the soundtrack to my dreams, but I also don’t need to wake up thinking the sky is falling. something matter-of-fact that will actually get your brain to stir a little is perfect.

• set at least one other alarm only a few minutes after your first alarm. too long of a “snooze” just allows the brain to get comfy again, which isn’t great if it’s really time to get moving. some extra-challenging days I might set 3 or 4 just in case.

• use an app that makes you get creative if you want to disable your alarm. the one I use (the free version of Alarmy) lets you choose between taking a picture of something specific, playing memory games, answering math question, scanning a barcode somewhere in your room, or even shaking the phone violently a certain amount of times (not ideal if you share a bed with someone 😬). since I’m bad at math and have poor working memory, I actually chose memory games and math questions. I didn’t want to be able to disable the alarms in my sleep, plus you can set the difficulty level so you don’t screw yourself over.

• when you do wake up, remove yourself from the place where you’re sleeping. I always move to the nearest window and spend some time sitting and looking out it. this is usually when I realize that I have missed out on a lot of peace in the day by never really having been a “morning person”. it’s pretty nice if you can get through the waking. this morning I rediscovered a rock on the window sill that I found a few days ago. I took a moment to appreciate that before moving on.

• when you’re ready to venture to the next step, drink half a glass of water. I do this when I take my meds and vitamins. I also use the bathroom and, if I remember, brush my teeth.

• sit for at least 5-10 minutes, if there’s time. I return to my window, and if I can’t justify a proper journaling session I like to at least use my notes app to make a list of manageable tasks, including things I’ve already done (like wake up, use the bathroom, take meds, drink water). there is a willingness that comes over me when I’m able to check things off right away. already my unchecked tasks are fewer and I have a sense of satisfaction that helps move me forward.

• set alarms for every 15 minutes or so for time blindness. but remember...

• bullying does not motivate a dopamine-seeking brain. ADHD and other such neurodivergent minds depend on dopamine, not adrenaline (at least in my experience and observation) and certainly not abuse. stop making your alarms things like ‘get up, bitch, I mean it’ and ‘get your ass up or you’re going to get fired’, even if it’s a joke. I did that for a long time and it sucked. so,

• extend yourself some grace. these are my alarms now and I love them! they don’t give me a shot of stress when they go off on my watch. encouragements and affirmations like “let’s get going!” and “you’re doing fine” are helpful. some are questions, like “just about ready to xyz?” and some are statements made in good faith, such as “you’ve taken your medication and your vitamins.” and “I’m so glad we’re making time to feed our bodies.” when it gets closer to the time to leave, it’s “are we ready to head out?” and “it’s go time!”

• lastly, eat something! anything at all. just don’t leave without eating something. I especially recommend this if you take medication for ADHD, or any med that works better if you give your body a little food to work with (this obviously varies from med to med so discuss with your pharmacist!)

[borntobeamasterpiece]

What the fuck is wrong with me?? I've been doing so well for weeks, sticking to everything as planned and today in a cold medicine induced haze I ate soooo much. Like the ramen alone was over half my calorie limit for a day

[woosh-floosh]

Saturn devouring his slurpee

[borntobeamasterpiece]

God i hate when i start to get "better" so i buy myself snacks and then have to throw them all away later

[my-witchy-journal]

✨ Some Herbs, Flowers and Plants in Witchcraft✨

ALLSPICE: increase energy, love, healing, luck

ANGELICA: protection, purification

Benefits for health: improve digestion

ARTEMISA: dream divination, clairvoyance

AZUCENA: sentimental improvement, progress, peace  

BASIL: economic success, money, prosperity, peace, protection, happiness, purification, tranquillity, love

BAY: fosters loving vibrations, protection, wards off negativities in a home, success, wisdom, divination

BAY LEAF: protection, purification, healing, strength, good fortune, money and success

BIRCH: protection, purification

BLACK PEPPER: protection, courage  

CALENDULA: happiness, prosperity, love, psychic power, harmony

Benefits for health: treat skin irritation (like eczema, bruises, scars, scrapes)

CARAWAY: protection against negativity, health, mental abilities, fidelity

Benefits for health: antitheft

CARDAMOM: passion, sex, intimacy  

CARNATION: cosmic energy, magic, disease, protection, strength energy, luck, healing

 White: peace, healing

Red: sex, love, passion

Yellow intellectual movement

Rose: disappearance of disagreements  

CHAMOMILE: brings love, healing, relieves stressful situations, prosperity, peace, healing, harmony, happiness

Benefits for health: sooth stomach problems, calm headache, calm nerves

CHICHWEED:

Benefits for health: astringent,  cooling (topically), demulcent, relieves itchiness

CINNAMON: aphrodisiac, passion, love, luck, prosperity, success, raises spiritual vibrations, purification, energy, healing, protection

Benefits for health: antimicrobial, aromatic, astringent, mild stimulant, relieves wind

CLOVE: protection, purification, mental ability, healing

COFFEE: intellect awakening  

COMFREY: health, healing, protection during travel, prosperity

CUMIN: protection spell

DAFFOIL: luck, fertility, love

DAISY: love, flirtation, hope, innocence

DANDELION: divination, interaction with the spirit world, wishes

Benefits for health: bitter tonic, diuretic, liver cleanser,  mild laxative

DILL: good fortune, tranquillity, prosperity, lust, protection

ELACAMPANE: protection, luck, dispels negative vibration, plant spirit communication

EUCALYPTUS: health, healing  

FENNEL: longevity, protection,  healing,  purification  

GARDENIA: harmony, healing, love, peace

GARLIC: protection against evil eye  

GERANIUM: protection, happiness, mental clean up, fertility, love, healing, courage

GINGER:

Benefits for health: fight cold, calm stomach, suppress nausea

HAWTHORN:

Benefits for health:  antioxidant, heart  tonic,  lowers  blood  pressure, relaxes blood vessel

HIBISCUS: divination, dreams, love and lust

HERBABUENA: money, prosperity  

HYACINTH: love, happiness, protection

INCENSE: Spirituality

IRIS: wisdom, valour, peace, harmony, love

IVY: protection, healing

JACINTO: overcoming old pains of love  

JASMINE: divinatory dreams, sexuality, moon, feminine energy, seduction, sensuality, love, meditation, spirituality, harmony, prosperity

LAUREL: success, glory  

LAVENDER: love, peace, restful sleep, clairvoyance, happiness, healing, money, passion, protection, relief from grief, longevity, meditation, harmony, tranquillity, purification

LEMON: happiness, love

LEMON BALM: love, success, healing

Benefits for health: antidepressant, antispasmodic, insect repellent, relaxant, relieves  wind, topical  anti-viral

LEMON VERBENA: love, purification

LILAC: protection, banishing negative energy

LILAS: purification, love  

LILY: helps memory, love, protection, elimination of hexes, rebirth

LILLY OF THE VALLEY: enhances concentration, mental ability, encourage happiness    

MADRESELVA: helps remove the vices and addictions

MAGNOLIA: love

MANZANO: love, happiness  

MARJORAM: happiness, protection, love, joy, courage, health, money

MIMOSA: divinatory dreams, love

MINT: avoid jealousy, dreams, protection, prosperity, joy, fertility, purification, love, success, lust, travel

Benefits for health: calm headache, stimulate appetite, aid digestion, antiseptic,  antispasmodic,  diaphoretic, mild analgesic, mild bitter, mild sedative, relives wind

MEADOWSWEET:

Benefits for health: antacid, anti-inflammatory, anti-rheumatic, astringent

MUGWORT: psychic powers, protection, increases lust and fertility, prophetic dreams, divination, relaxation, tranquillity, banishing, consecration (*Do not ingest, and do not even handle if pregnant*)

NAIL: Protection spells  

NARCISO: Love

NARDO: Love

NETTLE: protection, healing, lust

NUTMEG: Money, prosperity, good luck, protection, psychic abilities, happiness, love, health

PANSY: divination, communication, happiness, love

PARSLEY: Protection in general, power, strength, lust, purification, prosperity  

PATCHOULI: Money, sex  

PEPPERMINT: Purification

PINE: Health, Healing  

POPPY: tranquillity, fertility, prosperity love, sleep, invisibility, money, luck

ROMERO: Longevity, purification, prosperity

ROSE: Love, encourages closeness with nature, healing, divination, tranquillity, harmony, psychic ability, spirituality, protection, luck

Red: passion, peace, welfare  

Yellow: commitments  

White: spiritual love

ROSEMARY: love, lust, promote healthy rest, protection, improving memory, wisdom, health, healing, mental power, purification

Benefits for health: calm headache, stimulate circulatory, nerve and digestive tonic, anti-inflammatory, antioxidant, antispasmodic

SAFFRON: money, physical movement  

SAGE: longevity, wisdom, protection, dispels negative energy, purification, health, immortality,               wishes

Benefits for health: calm anxiety,  antimicrobial, antioxidant, astringent,         digestive tonic, oestrogenic, general  tonic,reduces sweating

SALVIA: money

SANDALWOOD: spirituality, healing, tranquillity, sexuality, desire.  

SNAPDRAGON: protection from illusion or deception, reflect negative energy

STAR ANISE: peace, tranquillity, awakening of psychic awareness , Luck, spiritual connection, psychic and magical power  

SUNFLOWER: sun, sun energy, happiness, success, health, associated with welcome and family, fertility

THYME : health courage. Eliminates nightmares, Attracts loyalty, affection, psychic abilities  

TULIP: prosperity, abundance, protections, love, happiness

VANILLA: sex

VALERIAN: protection, drives away negativity, purifies sacred space

VERBENA: calm headaches, eases stress, divination, prosperity, reversal of negative activity

VIOLET: peace, hope, harmony, protection, luck, love, sleep, tranquillity, encourage peace among people, calm nightmares, fertility, abundance

WATER LILY: happiness

YARROW: healing, divination, love, promotes courage and confidence

Resources: 

Wicca Herbal Magic by Lisa Chamberlain

Charms, Spells and Herbs by Esteban Portela

The Green Witch by Arin Murphy-Hiscock

Grimoire of a Kitchen Witch by Rachel Patterson

[exhaled-spirals]

“Things don’t have purposes, as if the universe were a machine, where every part has a useful function. What’s the function of a galaxy? I don’t know if our life has a purpose and I don’t see that it matters. What does matter is that we’re a part. Like a thread in a cloth or a grass-blade in a field. It is and we are. What we do is like wind blowing on the grass. […] We’re in the world, not against it. […] The world is, no matter how we think it ought to be. You have to be with it. You have to let it be.”

— Ursula Le Guin, The Lathe of Heaven

[paxamericana]

you’re hearing it more and more

[kyrare]

Spotify Premium ad: “Imagine playing music without interruptions! Infinite skipping! Replay the song you want! And even do it offline? No ads! Whatever songs you want! For a small monthly payme-” Me: *nods, turns off Spotify and turns on my MP3 player and does all the things they offer, but for free and with songs they don’t even have*

[jimtheviking]

For those of you who might not know how to do any of this:

To convert CD audio into mp3s, you just follow the steps here

To play mp3 files, you download an mp3 player like Winamp here and away you go

On mobile? There are plenty of free mp3 players for your phone available, too, so check them out

You don’t need to be tethered to an online streaming service for your music. Be free.

[eroticcannibal]

You can also rip audio files from youtube and find files all over the internet. It is far easier to come across great and lesser known music if you dont limit yourself to spotify.

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

dudes just google “youtube to mp3″ you’ll find at least four working sites like immediately

[bringhimdown]

Atlanta - Don't Call The Police

Don't Call The Police - Community-based alternatives to calling the Atlanta Police Department or 911 in Atlanta and the surrounding areas

Resources by city - Don't Call The Police

Database of local and national community-based alternatives to calling the police or 911, broken down by city

She also does some counseling work for Black folk

https://supernovamomma.com/positive-discipline-workshop/

If want you to live in a world without police (abolition) you can start here; start utilizing local resources more and start investing in them.

[dearorpheus]

hi hi, here are some free horror readings/resources in pdf form and adjacent horror viewings as seen in the curriculum for the miskatonic institute of horror studies’ course on theorising horror. 

- the american nightmare: horror in the 70s, robin wood ; deathdream, dir. bob clark, 1974 - horror and the monstrous-feminine: an imaginary abjection, barbara creed ; possession, dir. andrzej zulawski, 1981 - when the woman looks, linda williams ; ju-on, dir. takashi shimizu, 2002 - her body, himself: gender in the slasher film, carol j. clover ; hell night, dir. tom desimone, 1981 - bodies of fear: the films of david cronenberg, steven shaviro ; rabid, dir. david cronenberg, 1977 - why horror?, noël carroll ; horror and art-dread, cynthia freeland ; cropsey, dir. barbara brancaccio

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

windows 10 is garbage so every time i boot up the computer i have to run command prompt and enter

net.exe stop “Windows Search”

so that the shitty goddamned search/cortana feature that i never fucking use stops running in the background taking up all my fucking disk space

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

before

after

[eclipsebykimlipmp3-deactivated2]

what the fuck is that seriously what the fuck is making my computer be a fucking piece of shit

[internetwes]

@baristaboy try this out dude

[ilikeyoshi]

@lambylin

[amis-amai]

y’all didn’t even add a tutorial of how to do this so imma put one right here 1. type in cmd.exe into your windows search and right click on Command Promt search result and select “Run as Administator”. 2. Type/Copypase in  net.exe stop “Windows Search” and make sure Windows Search is in quotations. It should then respond saying “The Windows Search service is stopping” and then tell you it’s stopped. This is only a temp fix though, if you want it switched off permanently then do THIS: 1.  Press the Windows key + R at the same time and type in services.msc. 2.  Scroll until you find Windows Search and double click it to enter its Properties window. 3.  Change the Startup type to Disabled. Apply this change and you can exit out. VOILA, NO MORE TAKEN UP DISK SPACE

[bluecrysto-blog]

Reblog to save a fucking life, FUCK CORTANA.