A Collection of Things

enjoy

[dankmemeuniversity]

[ittybittybrittbratt]

“TODAY ON ABC 7 NEWS: Jessica WhiteHorse was caught in a male’s bathroom giving head and getting dicked by several students .. We asked students And parents how they felt about the situation.. They started to spill the TEA” 😩😂😭💀

[anthyhime-deactivated20210201]

Y’all…. I just screamed on the top of my lungs

[baptizm-deactivated20200524]

GUYS READ ALL OF THIS PLEASE PLEASE PL--

[pug-life01]

[pug-life01]

[pug-life01]

[pug-life01]

[socialdistancing]

[msnikkimoneypenny]

Again take Tylenol or its generic counterpart. Do not take ibuprofen.

[locke-fuckscottlynch78-lamora]

Also it looks like increased ACE2 receptors makes you both more likely to contract the disease in the first place as well as increase your likelihood of spreading the virus. At least this was true with SARS CoV 1

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1287568/

ACE2 Receptor Expression and Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome Coronavirus Infection Depend on Differentiation of Human Airway Epithelia

Studies of patients with severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS) demonstrate that the respiratory tract is a major site of SARS-coronavirus

[ryanhatesthis]

Well, that’s enough internet for me today.

[testosterowned]

this post teleported me back to 2011

[judgejudyofficial]

times were simpler and red comic sans abundant

[firesuns-archive]

[giadadilaurentis]

world heritage post

[sparrow-va]

my legacy lives on

[ulibeanzz]

ever notice how men criticize games like animal crossing and stardew valley on the basis of “the entire game is just doing tasks” without recognizing that “kill bad guy” is also just a task but violent?

[ulibeanzz]

”it’s so boring all you do is talk to people and do tasks so you can buy new things” yeah and all you do is press a bunch of buttons to kill people so you can buy new things? perish

[ulibeanzz]

my activity page has not known peace since i made this post i have hundreds of insufferable gamers crawling up my pant legs now but luckily i have a secret up my sleeve… i too am a gamer man. im immune to the gamer venom   

[atrius97]

This has the same energy as that post that’s “Red Dead Redemption is just Barbie’s Horse Adventure with violence”.

[sirladyknight]

Obi-Wan wears like 53 layer of robes so everyone assumes he’s kinda soft especially compared to his ‘in the prime of his youth’ former Padawan but then one day he goes shirtless to spar and he’s shredded, he has an 8 pack. Clones and Jedi alike are choking on drinks and tripping into walls. Ahsoka is covering her eyes and screaming because that’s basically her grandpa. Anakin has to throw a robe over Obi-Wan like The Birth of Venus. 

[bingomann]

big black doggo

[ra-ccoon]

what was in the stairwell op

[juliamichelleleanor-deactivated]

WHAT WAS IN THE STAIRWELL OP

[bingomann]

dont worry about it

[jvlianbashir]

porn bot adding a virus link to my post: basic. expected. pedestrian. predictable.

porn bot replying to my post with a single, cryptic word: infinitely more eerie and menacing

[jvlianbashir]

is this a threat

[beggars-opera]

[beggars-opera]

well if that’s not the most terrifying thing I’ve ever seen on this hellsite

[gibberishquestion]

listen this is the fucking funniest garfield strip. you just can't top this one i'm sorry

[argodeon]

Shut the fuck up olivia

[roseburst]

yeah. i have maybe 200 and counting oliviabots reported and blocked so far. my entire block list is olivia.

and still she won't shut up.

[lo-kae]

Given that username structure, there could be as many as 78.4 billion Olivias. They are the true tumblr users. All other accounts are merely noise to the great Olivia hive-mind

[argodeon]

LMAO "the great Olivia hive-mind"

[hxgrl]

[sexhaver]

minor nitpick: the username structure only allows for 5 unique characters at the end, as the "18" in the middle seems to be a fixed part of the name ("olivia18"). assuming 37 possibilities per character (26 letters, 10 digits, and a hypen) for 5 characters, this works out to 37^5 = 69,343,957 unique olivia18s, compared to a bit over 23,000,000 other users (as of April). if everyone kills at least 3 olivia18s we can prevail

[orcnumber1]

We are the Oliviaborg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.

[notkatniss]

[buzzkillbyrne]

“I’m not here to speak, I’m sure as fuck not here to lecture anybody, but I will tell you what I have seen. And I have seen what happens when people organize, and I have seen what happens when the electorate and the citizenry know themselves and the sleeping dragon that they are, and I know what happens when they act and they act directly. I also know what happens when old pious men make laws about what women should and shouldn’t do. I know this ‘cause I’ve seen direct action from the very state that I hail from, the nation state which was created 100 years ago. And what I would say also, is just to remember where power lies and remind politicians where power lies, ‘cause the biggest thing they fear is losing their fucking jobs. And to men, also:  just be wary of any mentality that would make cattle or make vessels of women, because that same mentality will make machines and tools of you, and make monsters of you. Just remember where power is, just remember what the electorate can do.”

[spiders-hth-is-an-outlier]

Be wary of any mentality that would make cattle or make vessels of women, because the same mentality will make machines and tools of you, and make monsters of you.

[hozierslikes]

The famous Hozier speech. Reblog every time👏🏻 also it’s almost voting day in the US so!!!!

[dippersballoon]

I saw an opportunity and I took it

[offline-kinq]

This is what they mean when they say life flashes before your eyes as you die

[udon-tea]

For those wondering, the song is ”Mr. Blue Sky” by ELO.

Perhaps someone beat me to it, but here are ALL of the featured vines, in order of appearance:

I won’t hesitate bitch

Hi my name is Tre and I have a basketball game tomorrow

Whaddup, I’m Jared I’m 19 and I never fucking learned how 2 read

Kermit the Frog jumps off building

Fr e sh a voca do

back at it again at Krispy Kreme

There is only one thing worse than a rapist

Club Jam (yes a really good book)

At least the taco was free

I am the Sand Guardian, guardian of the sand

Grandma loves ping pong too much

If your name is Junior

Welcome to Target

I’m just cooking pizza

Cole Sprouse dress-up game

On all levels except physical, I am a Wolf

Kid hits ceiling of gym with rope (breaking free)

Kid smacked by fly swatter

Fuck it up Kenneth (my boy going to school)

Um I’m not finished (Tyler the Creator)

WE’RE BREAKING FREE

SAIL

I’m Squidward

So I’m sitting there, barbecue sauce on my tiddies

So no head? (breaking skateboard)

Actually, Megan (I can’t sit anywhere)

No off topic questions (Chris Christie)

What the fuck, Richard

Drop it like it’s hot (its just luke)

Bored as shiiiiii

Liberian accent (plasma globe)

New haircut (Parker Kit Hill)

Summertime sadness (chicken)

More like hurricane TORTILLA

I got an a-bor-tion

All Around the World (TheJasminator)

When there’s a cutie next to you at a red light

Snake licks lollipop

Accept yourself, love yourself

Be whatever you wanna be

Don’t touch Zac’s music (LENARR)

Whoever threw that paper, your mom’s a ho

Can I please get a waffle?

Turn off the flash you fucking moron (Star Wars)

Ebony Jenkins (shut up!)

Kevin, watch the light dude

Horse meditation

A girl a dream & a clothing hanger

Is that a weed? (911 microwave)

Helium balloons (floating car)

Fireplace fairy

I’m your freestyle dance teacher

I can’t believe you’ve done this

Which way the Quiznos is

Impossible paper toss shot

Hemtube (dancing with cat)

I nurture my skin (Shaq)

Why are you running

Happy birthday?

Thicker than a bowl of oatmeal (courtroom)

Farkle falling

Fuck you (soda machine)

Squash banana (the branch I was holding broke)

Take On Me

And now my sock is wet (water gun)

All I ever wanted was some motherfuckin guala

When there’s too much drama at school

Two bros chillin in the Hot Tub

What’s your name? (ouija board)

Chillary Clinton (chillin in Cedar Rapids)

Guy drops slurpee (7-Eleven)

Girl scared of convertible car

Guy who is self-conscious about his lisp (Rice Krispies Treats)

Would you like the spider on your hand?

Shopping cart crash

We actually have the chip reader now

I’M A GIRAFFE

Dinner with Zayn Malik (Chihuahua eating spaghetti)

I HOPE IT’S HELPFUL TO SOMEONE! Peace ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

[leaveittotegan-deactivated20181]

this gave me such a warm feeling i legit teared up no joke

[axmmatt]

BEAUTY

[dinogaby]

Reblogging for research purposes

[briefly-perfect-world]

Reblogging because my brain rapid fire quoted all of them

[pinkmanthedog]

I just slipped hard in the horse pasture. Lying on the ground in the snow, wind knocked out of me, I see Pinkman take off towards the house like sewer rat Lassie. Wow, I think to myself, what an incredible animal! She is going to bring me help! I am so lucky to have her!

A minute later Pinkman returns. She places a tiny tennis ball in my actively bleeding hand, and prances beside me begging me to throw it as I drag my wretched flesh prison back up to the house alone.

[pinkmanthedog]

See how fast I move next time you get your head stuck in the dishwasher rack, PINKMAN

[pinkmanthedog]

[typewriterdaily]

Sometimes you read a line from a book and it’s like something from your own head or something from your journal. And that part of you is a bit more defined, a bit sharper, and a bit easier to understand and explain to others.

[baaulp]

My life is just a constant journey to seek warmth. No metaphor. I mean like coats and jackets. Getting under the sheets and standing under heat lamps. Soup.

[grimconversations]

Three years ago: chatting with my neighbor/teacher who was a consultant for facial expressions on the live action lion king remake and hearing him get frustrated that they didn't understand that it was important to have them emote.

A review of the movie from today:

Guys maybe u should have listened to Gary when he told you this

[ixhadbadxdays]

Reblog to tell Gary he was right