mental illness vent blog

you know, I actually have C-PTSD, but I'm keeping the username. please do not reblog my original posts.

[theclowncowboy]

[ntrider]

don't be silly you don't have a "true personality" that's just the role you're choosing to play more often

[netscape]

[decayedkitten]

[gandalfsbignaturals]

isnt it really cool how your memories can just physically attack you at random

[catcrumb]

[laterkiss]

sorry i never replied or called back there's something very lonely inside me

[sandmandaddy69]

[why-did-u-ruin-me]

*relapses sexily*

[irlangelicc-deactivated20190424]

[bpd-pigeon]

five weeks sober and i started cutting and drinking again. it was bound to happen, i’m under a lot of stress and decided to cut all of my coping mechanisms (pun not intended). i am acutely suicidal.

haven’t been sleeping with many people, which is a bit worse than the “zero” i said i was going to sleep with.

i’m at step four in my program. make a “searching and fearless moral inventory”—dig up all the shit you’re morally accountable for in your life and figure out “your side of the street”—my sponsor’s words.

totally fucking failed the last time i tried to do the program; did not maintain sobriety and chased a relationship which was not good for me, in so doing ending a relationship which was not good for me, somehow both increasing my self esteem and destroying my social network.

i have been in more abusive or traumatic relationships than i can even keep straight most days.

i am acutely suicidal. i wanted to end it last night. can’t, because i promised not to. i told someone i’d say goodbye first. drank and cut, got pretty close. felt like sending a “✌️bye” text and slitting my wrists. called another hotline.

i reread the letter today. added more notations. highlighted and commented “my side of the street”. getting ready to make amends. you deserve an apology before i go.

[rnismatch]

my camel straight up told me "man i am not carrying another fucking straw" like wtf asshole its just one straw whats your fucking issue

[dailycatsblog]

[wincoshopper666]

Im scared

[wovi]

*

oscar wilde, the picture of dorian gray

[flipchild]

You. It's been a hard day, hasn't it? Clench your jaw. Lock your knees. Stiffen your arms and tighten your shoulders. Curl your toes into the earth. It's not gonna be okay. Pretty soon this day will be a pleasant memory of how much less painful it all was ❤️

[persianmom-deactivated20260602]

hate that I was understanding when I should’ve just been a cunt