Holst on to your Brahms and Panties!

I just got my bachelor's degree in music performance, so I'm obviously jobless and have lots of time on my hands. I love everything puns and everything music!

[tossedsaladandscrambledfaith]

General musical descriptions

Dear Evan Hansen: Ben Platt looking into the audience with a sad expression for like 2 ½ hours

(bla bla bla) Great Comet of 1812: simple plot surrounded by a kinda easy plot surrounded by a lot of other crap (but still somehow managed to be amazing)

Hamilton: over hype: the musical

Falsettos: oh the GAYNESS of it all

Charlie and the chocolate factory: we say we’re family friendly but we also show a child getting ripped in half. (Very underrated)

Sunset Blvd: it’s like a really fucked up beauty and the beast.

Phantom of the Opera: sInG oNcE aGaIn WiTh Me OuR sTrAnGe DuEt

Cats: a two hour tourist trap

School of Rock: talented children+ Alex Brightman + Sierra Bogess= a show I wanna see!!

Something rotten: Shakespeare was a prick

Come from away: WELCOME TO THE ROCK

Spring Awakening: don’t have sex: or you’ll get pregnant, and die

Wicked: you already know

Heathers: it’s like if Caty just fucking KILLED REGINA.

Carrie: rated R Matilda

Matilda: R E V O L T I N G C H I L D R E N

Once on this island: Moana?

Sweeney Todd: Worst. Haircut. Ever.

Newsies: boys jumping for 2 hours

Book of Mormon: Repress your emotions woooo!!!!

Waitress: sad and pregnant + pie!!!

(these are jokes I love all of these)

Edit: someone posted it on their Instagram and had an issue with the falsettos one and let me just say, I LOVE falsettos. I think it’s incredibly complex and deep and so much more then just a gay musical. The falsettos part, and all of these in general, are just stupid, funny descriptions and not meant to be taken seriously and don’t showcase any musical in it’s entirety.

[brahmsandpanties]

“Some people say you need to be sad and desperate to play the viola. That’s just not true! You don’t have to be sad”

— Bramwell Tovey (at the Hollywood bowl)

[ruinedchildhood]

[tastefullyoffensive]

(via savittj)

[pusheen]

[sleep-broken]

[mariaarnt]

peep my squad

tag yourself, I’m Bae.

[queerstatic]

tell me something nice, hit me with those positive vibess

[eatsleepcrap]

the earliest recorded named cat lived over 3000 years ago in egypt and was called ‘nedjem’ which means sweetie

[queerstatic]

[eatsleepcrap]

the pet cat of prince thutmose was called ‘tai miuwette’ which means ‘little mewer’

[queerstatic]

[eatsleepcrap]

in medieval england so many cats were given the name ‘gilbert’ that the word ‘gyb’ came to mean ‘pet cat’

[digidestinyschild]

This did not age well

[primroseisdead]

[tempo--tantrums-deactivated2017]

rachmaninov or rachmaninoff??

tchaikovsky or tschaikowsky?

who knows

[pianistedujour]

Richard Taruskin, in the Oxford History of Western Music, writes “Chaikovsky,” something which I have never seen repeated elsewhere. It is the only thing that he has written in the OHoWM that I immediately reject without looking for further evidence to disprove its existence. @tchaikovsky-official what do you think?

[tchaikovsky-official]

It’s spelt Чайкoвский so you can do whatever you want with it in English.

[felixmendelssohn-official]

Chai cow ski

[tchaikovsky-official]

Don’t do that

[freddieandersen]

my naym is cow and wen it snos I slide down hils in silly pose then wen inside I drink some tee yu kno my choice is chai cow ski

[bendaydots]

Reblogging just for the little poem at the end

[stopstopstopstopstopp-deactivat]

cotton eyed joe gregorian chant nightcore hardcore dubstep remix

[lovingrot]

wheres the . wheres the link

[lovingrot]

wheres the fucking link

[carouselshotgun]

my friend showed me this and i fucking DIED 

[forfuckssakejim]

Omg so I’m at the cafe by campus and this guy came in and went to hug this chick but she went in for a fist bump

[forfuckssakejim]

OK OMG SHE SAT HIM DOWN AND SAID “I think we should break up”

[forfuckssakejim]

I’m legit 3 feet away from them pretending to be invested in my science book

[forfuckssakejim]

She said “it’s not you it’s me” and before he could respond the barista called his name. It’s Bob. Poor Bob

[forfuckssakejim]

The move was effective. The lady looks defensive

Bob has come back.

[forfuckssakejim]

It was a few minutes of awkward silence as he took a sip of his drink. It’s the same kind as mine. Meaning he ordered Hot Chocolate

[forfuckssakejim]

He started out with “You know, I think.” And I could hear this lady’s eyes roll. No one cares what you think Robert

[forfuckssakejim]

FINGERS ARE FLYING. SHE POINTING AT HIM. SHIT IS GETTING REAL.

[forfuckssakejim]

she calmed down and he legit did that thing where you steppe you fingers together in front of your mouth and take a huge breath. Bro. Leave it. It’s done. She’s too pretty for you.

[forfuckssakejim]

He freaking snapped his fingers like he’s got this grand plan to make up for things.

[forfuckssakejim]

She Said she still wants to be friends. She starts this by asking about his day

[forfuckssakejim]

Apparently something bob said made her laugh.

[forfuckssakejim]

She has not been able to say a word since she got him talking. It’s too loud in the cafe for me to make out anything even tho I’m legit behind this chick

[forfuckssakejim]

He talking about his struggles now and how much he needs her. Run lady. Run. Run far away.

[forfuckssakejim]

She tried to get up and his hAND SHOT OUT TO GRAB HERS

[forfuckssakejim]

She’s literally folded in herself. Hands not going out further than the table. Limited hand movements.

Now she’s talking about her self. He doesn’t look that invested.

[forfuckssakejim]

“well some people are bitchy” -bob

[forfuckssakejim]

Lady does not have a drink. I don’t think she planned on being here this long.

[forfuckssakejim]

Bob is again talking about himself 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 no one cares bob.

[forfuckssakejim]

Well he said something that made her laugh again. It sounded fake tho.

[forfuckssakejim]

He’s talking about school. APPARENTLY HE IS A PROFESSOR

[forfuckssakejim]

“Promiscuousness leads to disease” -Bob again.

[forfuckssakejim]

I’m done with my hot chocolate and I don’t know if the bitter taste in my mouth is from the chocolate residue I drank or my disdain for Professor Bob.

[forfuckssakejim]

She adjusted her chair so she’s further away

[forfuckssakejim]

SHE GOT UP! She went to take her purse but bob said to leave and he would watch it. I think she’s headed to the bathroom.

[forfuckssakejim]

I can’t leave! But he’s doing that voice to text thing for his phone. Talking to someone about this? Idk?

[forfuckssakejim]

I’m trying to figure out what he’s saying by looking at his lips but I suck as this. Also where are his lips?? Bob is lipless. Further proof that lizard people exist.

[forfuckssakejim]

I just noticed the lady left her phone in her purse.

Ok she’s coming back. She is pretty. Too pretty for Bob. But probs old enough to be my mom.

[forfuckssakejim]

He’s talking about his students again.

[forfuckssakejim]

She was talking and he interrupted her and she was like “I was talking” and he like flinched and he apologized. Yes queen.

[forfuckssakejim]

“but this is why this democracy is at its purest.” Wtf Bob that doesn’t make sense

[forfuckssakejim]

They’re talking so quietly now I can’t hear them.

[forfuckssakejim]

“I should have said this a long time ago. But I can’t get anyone to love me” -Bob what the fuck.

[forfuckssakejim]

“I feel like I’m projecting my self onto you” -bob once again

[forfuckssakejim]

She’s leaving! She said something about picking up her son, Kevin, from school. Good job lady!

[forfuckssakejim]

HOLY SHIT HES REACHING INTO HIS PANTS WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF

[forfuckssakejim]

*pocket. But still.

HE PULLED OUT A RING BUT THE CHICK IS ALREADY OUT THE DOOR. OMG

[forfuckssakejim]

OMG OMG OMG ITS A MENS RING!! HE PUT IT ON HIS HAND HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT. HES PICKING UP HIS PHONE

[forfuckssakejim]

“Hey babe, nah sorry about not answering your call. I was in a meeting with a student. I’m leaving my office now. Yeah I can pick up dinner. Is Tanner home from school yet?”

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

[cliffordsbigquestion-deactivate]

Fuck you bobert

[n0chillvibes]

this was a JOURNEY from start to finish

[turing-tested]

whats that one fetish called where you and your partner mutually respect and care about each other very much

[bester-jester]

love

[turing-tested]

kinky! i like it

[glitterpen1s-deactivated2013012]

you know that feeling when you’re on your period and you take a shower and you feel so clean and relieved and nice but then as soon as you turn the water off it’s a race against you, gravity and time

[cant-adult-will-fandom-for-free]

I swear the last line made it feel like the plotline of an action film

[nathaniels-otps-deactivated2017]

It is a period drama

[brilliantlyhorrid]

[knitmeapony]

This is still one of the best executed jokes I’ve ever seen