breadedumbrella

ellie | she/her

[the-semicolonoscopy]

It’s Pride Month Eve, so leave out some milk for Freddie Mercury and his cats.

[the-semicolonoscopy]

Time for the annual Pride Month reblog of Freddie Mercury and his fabulous cats!

[muppetshow2026]

WHAT IS THE CHARGE? EATING A PENGUIN? A SUCCULENT ADÉLIE PENGUIN?

[dandeliont3aandsageleaves]

"Brennan is the best game changer contestant" this "Brennan is so competitive" that

Okay well I've never watched in fear as Brennan hit a bong full of whisky for a game changer now have I

[mal3f1cent]

@littledoggy-girlcollar you cannot be hiding the Truth of the matter in the replies

[subaru-copilot]

it gets to a point that is just weirder if they didn't fuck

[steampunkforever]

I would still use my turn signals in the Mad Max Wasteland. They'd call me "Signal" because I'd hit my blinker before ramming the enemy hot rods into the side of a desert ravine. I'd use my turn signal every time. They would respect me for this.

[kraken17]

"That is Signal, the Last Follower of the Old Law."

[meatdiaz]

what’s your “odd” comfort movie? a movie that isn’t stereotypically comforting but does comfort YOU? mine’s conclave (2024)

[holdtightposts]

There’s so much to unpack here:

Pack of Beakers

Goth Beaker

The Beaker snitching and pointing out the photographer

The Beaker that’s about to unload on the photographer

The terminator strut before the ass whooping and you know he’s moving at speed because of the blur

The ominous feeling that you know this is 3 in the morning

[victoriousflappage]

Gods I fucking love this post. So hard. Fuck.

[cafiffle]

[ellaandtheocean]

Humpback whales breaching: gorgeous, majestic, graceful, embodies all the strength and beauty of the ocean

Minke whales breaching: I will launch myself out of this ocean like a f***ing surface-to-air missile to seek and destroy my enemies

[gallusrostromegalus]

I remember an interview with a guy that did the camera work for nature documentaries and he said that baleen whales like these guys were the scariest things to shoot because “They’re the size of a train, they can suddenly appear out of nowhere in dark or murky water and they don’t make a goddamn sound. I was absolutely sure that one of them was going to hit me and well, ‘that’s all folks!’. Gave me a lot of perspective on how I handle myself when filming smaller animals now.”

[a-book-of-creatures]

Fin whales breaching: sea serpent

[fleshdyke]

levitating minke whale

[plaguedocboi]

Sperm whale breaching: wjaht the fuck

[necronatron]

I have a feeling I have already shared this, but please, take the contribution of the northern right whale dolphin.

The humble eyebrow

[thatmooncake]

@flinxypie

[a-french-guardsman]

Unsolicited AI striking with advice again

[justsomeguycore]

lesbian scifi is so easy. here’s a woman in cargo pants and a tank top on a spaceship. are you with me

[justsomeguycore]

maybe it’s not even cargo pants. maybe it’s coveralls rolled to + tied around the waist. maybe she even has fuckoff boots

[vulvamort-deactivated20110602]

[daxterdd]

Never not reblogging this.

Never ever.

[queer-as-city-folk]

tumblr users are living in a world wholly their own which I can not help but envy

[disheveled-notion]

New “do it scared” just dropped

[hood-ex]

[homunculus-argument]

The Odyssey but retold as a low-stakes modern adventure of one guy out with his girlfriend leaving the bar with his buddies to do just one (1) simple thing real quick, it'll take like 15 minutes tops, he'll be right back, but then some bullshit happens and the trip keeps getting more complicated as more bullshit keeps happening while he just tries to get back to the bar because he promised his girlfriend that he'd get back and he knows that she's still there because she told him she'd wait there.

And by the time he finally gets back it's almost 3 am and the bar is about to close while she's sitting there stone cold sober, surrounded by 5 drunk guys unsuccessfully trying to convince her to give up on waiting for him and go home with one of them instead. And the guy shows up to proceed to beat the shit out of them before explaining himself to her like hey sorry bullshit kept happening, my phone fell into a storm drain and my wallet got stolen when I was trying to find someone who'd borrow me a phone so I could call and

[thekijs]

His girlfriend had been fending off the 5 drunk guys for most of the evening by explaining that even if she was going to ditch her boyfriend, she can't possibly leave without finishing her beer, which she is keeping perpetually full via careful sleight of hand where she's just pouring it back and forth into and out of the pitcher.

However the drunk guys are also drinking, and eventually she can't afford to buy another pitcher for the table so she can't keep up the ever-full beer glass trick. At this point she has to resort to setting up the pool trick shot that she's never seen anyone but her boyfriend pull off, and says she'll leave with whoever manages the shot first.

That buys her another hour or so and then, finally, her boyfriend makes it back. He looks like shit, hair down and just a mess, he's wearing an entirely different jacket that he got from an alley, and barely recognizable—especially to 5 guys who've been drunk for hours now. He lurks for a minute, finds out what's going on, and proceeds to pull off the trick shot first try. Throws the jacket off, fixes his hair with a hair tie his girlfriend lends him, finally looks like himself again, and THEN beats the shit out of them with the pool cue.

[weaselle]

yuh i was there, that's how it happened

[si-lee-me]

[grackleclaw]

the human body is an engineering marvel. I sneeze in bright light. if I dont get enough sunlight on my skin I get tired and sad and have to drink a lot of milk to fix it. standing too much hurts, but sitting too much also hurts. if I get a virus, my body will increase its temperature in an attempt to cook it, which also cooks my brain cells. toenails exist. I have to turn the radio down to see better when I drive. there are 17 genes dictating what my hair texture is, but it completely changes when the air is too humid. yawning is contagious. there are more species of bacteria living in my body than there are species of birds in the entire world. every few months I grievously injure my neck by "sleeping on it weird." it took seven million years of human evolution to form me, and now I'm afraid of phone calls.

[sashayed]

but ykw at least i'm not on mount everest. at least i'm not paying tens of thousands of dollars to slowly suffocate in a 300-person line at the gates of hell. never in my life will i have to be steered in a hypoxic stupor through the maze of poop and corpses atop mount everest. on this earth a lot of horrible things can happen to you without your permission but there are a few that you have to opt into. you can just say no thanks! and be guaranteed never to have to be on mount everest. much to be grateful for actually

[sashayed]

still not on mount everest this morning 😌 alhamdulillah