Dont Have Much To Say, But..

Let’s get this right: I am not, nor have I ever been, ‘hip with the times’. That’s why I’m here.

[farenmaddox]

I have just found. the COOLEST website???

Lost Kitchen Scrolls

It has a huge variety of historical recipes from different regions, taken from manuscripts, transcribed and translated, and a whole section of notes about the context for the recipe. It's really fun and I AM going to try a couple of these recipes.

Look at how this lamb recipe is presented:

This is just such a fun way to learn more about historical foodways and discover traditional cuisine.

Look at all the filters you can use:

Maybe if I can forage some good blackberries this year, I can make a 300 year old recipe for blackberry wine!

Anyway. Check out Lost Kitchen Scrolls.

[stormbeyondreality]

@fallen-chances

[parkchanwoohoo]

Heard this stupid dad joke that killed me: Which Chinese word takes the longest to write? "Friend" (朋友) because it takes two months just to write half of it

[parkchanwoohoo]

Which character is faster, hot (热) or cold (冷)? Obviously hot, which has 4 legs to cold's 1

[parkchanwoohoo]

Why do Chinese vampires hate spicy food? They only drink 不辣的

[claire-witch-project]

[sunderwight]

Anyone who ever wants to write any fics based on posts I make or anything else along those lines is always welcome to.

My threadfics:

Cursed Amulet Story (p1, p2)

Evil Shixiong (p1, p2, p3, p4)

Came Back Wrong (p1, p2, p3)

[breaking-localcryptidwrites]

Haven’t read the others, but Evil Shixiong is what I came here for. 10/10 would watch that show

[thestuffedalligator]

It’s shit being a superhero when you know that the multiverse exists. You spend all day saving people, you’re tired, you want to go to bed, and right before you fall asleep someone says “The High Evolutionary is going to turn everyone on earth into a werewolf!” and every bone in your body says “Fucking. Maybe we can be the werewolf dimension. The Universe Where Everyone Is A Werewolf. There are infinite dimensions where everyone isn’t a werewolf. It could be fine. It could be good even.”

And you fight the High Evolutionary and you win and your world isn’t the Werewolf Dimension. But the thought was there. God the thought was there

[willgrahamscock]

of all the phrases we used to say in the 2010s era we need to bring back ‘what the hap is fuckening’ because honestly… what the hap is fuckening lately brother

[nymphoutofwater]

fuuuuck that is my circus. are those…? yep… those are my monkeys….. goddammit.

[lastoneout]

I cannot BELIEVE that Heinz has the AUDACITY to claim they know the perfect ratio of ketchup to mayo.

[lastoneout]

When the end of days is upon us men who foolishly claim to be gods will at long last face the righteous judgement they have earned. Then you'll see.

[lastoneout]

Ain't even the right fucking color.

[kirshimadenkisero]

"When the end of days is upon us men who foolishly claim to be gods will at long last face the righteous judgement they have earned. Then you'll see."

why do all the banger quotes come from shitposts

[lastoneout]

When you're only being dramatic for the bit you end up more open to artistic risk, and being unburdened by the fear shame or failure is the best way to stumble upon greatness.

[kirshimadenkisero]

what the FUCK

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

cast iron? yeah thats a pretty common spell to learn

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

you come onto my post and be funnier than me

[ihaveatypeanditstrickstergods]

One of my favorite D&D gags that I ever came up with is part of a oneshot I've run a few times where the party is hired by a young wizard to help clear out a few active security measures in a tower that the wizard inherited from her old teacher.

The first obstacle to be cleared is the re-animated skeletons that the old wizard was using for gardening help. It's a pretty straightforward fight, but during the encounter, players may notice one particular raised bed of herbs that is set back in a corner of the garden by itself.

Upon further investigation, this one raised bed is absolutely shining with magical protections. There are runes carved into the wood of the bed, gemstones inlaid in the top of it, this bed is absolutely protected out the ass... and an arcana check shows that the protections are all pointed inward, attempting to keep what's in there from getting out.

What's growing in that raised bed, you may ask? What is so dangerous that the old wizard felt the need to place all these protections?

Mint.

[todays-xkcd]

In the aviation world, they don't use AM/PM times. Instead, all times are assumed to be AM unless they're labeled NOTAM.

METAR [Explained]

Transcript Under the Cut

Decoding a METAR Report:

[A METAR report is shown with annotations. The report is:]

METAR KNYC 251600Z 18035G45KT 6SM VCFCFZVA +BLUP NOSIG LTG OHD A3808 RMK A02 SPL130=

[The annotations are:]METAR "METER" (Usually misspelled) KNYC Station ID 251600Z Time (25:16:002) 18035G45KT Wind speed has been 18,035 knots for a good 45 minutes now 6SM Observer is a size 6 small VCFCFZVA Sorry, the station cat walked on the keyboard +BLUP Weird noise the sky made earlier NOSIG Observer has no significant other :( LTG OHD We overheard someone saying there was lightning A3808 Hey look, an Airbus A380-800! RMK Remarkable! A02 Fanfic Archive equipped with a precipitation sensor SPL130= Observer got sleepy around 1:30

[halebop-s-art]

The diagram for the classic Origami Goat, with a twist to make its horns curve ! It's from this video by by Origami Word, but it seems to be a pretty old/intemporal design that a lot of people have made. I could not find a diagram online so I made one.

(If you make her in yellow/orangy-yellow, then decorate her with red ribbons, you can make your own origami gävlebocken ! )

[hasgavlebockenburneddownyet]

this is soo cuteeeee

[seat-safety-switch]

For the last decade or so, I’ve been routinely attending a ride-on lawnmower race. I’ve always wanted to participate, but the high cost of used mowers is better spent on more practical vehicles, like literally anything else. Sometimes, though, the universe sends you a message. And in my case, that message came in the form of an awkward leg of a huge trade-in scam.

Picture, if you will, the humble redneck. They await the approach of big, fast domestic mowers. John Deeres, Cub Cadets, even weird modified Chinese stuff they looted from Aliexpress. There is jubilance, but that soon comes to an awkward hush. An unfamiliar engine note approaches.

My International 1480 combine harvester, all ten tons of it, is barrelling down the highway at a clip somewhere between “tepid” and “jaunty.” Even though I have shown up for a race, I am sandbagging a little bit, making sure that the bets get settled against my vehicle before I show them the might of a fully operational monster such as mine.

Technically, there is no violation. I had looked at the rulebook from every angle in the previous year: it has the correct number of wheels, the proper agricultural intent, and with precise work on the tiller, it can even (poorly) mow a suburban lawn. Is it modified? Oh yes, yes indeed, but I see the nitrous bottles poking out from the rows of Kubotas at the starting line.

And when I leave the starting line, it is a thing of beauty. At least for a few milliseconds. It seems that the wizards at International Harvester simply did not comprehend of a situation in which the frame of their combine would be launched into the air by means of one thousand eight hundred foot-pounds of supercharger-bolstered torque. I had erroneously believed that the loose soil of the rural community would let the wheels dip in, but now I am facing directly into the sky, having twelve o’ clocked hard on my wheelie, shooting flames from my exhaust and whirling vertical blades of death towards the grandstand.

It’s not about whether you win or lose. Sometimes it’s about how many pages you add to the rulebook.

[andalwaysburning]

“It’s not about whether you win or lose. Sometimes it’s about how many pages you add to the rulebook. “

I am but a mild-mannered urban being and have no idea what happened in this story, but with all the Gods as my witness I am getting the above text put on a plaque and hanging it in my living room.

[headspace-hotel]

Legendary quote

[angelsonthesideline-deactivated]

[schifty-al]

"You see Perry the platypus"

[roach-works]

-you're not going to like the short answer

-you're not going to understand the short answer

-you didn't ask the right question

-there is no short answer

-there's a dozen short answers and i think that's neat

-there's a much more interesting question you could have asked, buckle up

-this is going to be really funny in five minutes, hold on

-last time i said no you got mad but the answer is still no

-last time i said no you got sad and i can't take that again

-i've been thinking about neolithic bedbugs all day and you cracked the seal

-this reminds me of something more important than whatever you just said

-i just remembered what i meant to tell you last time you asked something sort of like this

-i don't like you so we're gonna talk about my thing instead of your thing

-i love you so here's the coolest thing i learned lately

-im not hungry so i forgot to do the part of the conversation where i tell you i dont want dinner when you asked what i wanted for dinner because i don't want anything so the question is returning a null integer. did you know bed bugs might have originated in neolithic caves and switched from infesting bat fur to infesting human furs when humans started inhabiting caves and driving all the bats out, and they've lived in our beds for a hundred thousand years. did you know that cellar spiders are almost always the descendants of cave spiders, carried from quarry to foundation and left to flourish for decades, centuries. did you know that a possible origin for the american house cockroach was probably a bark-dwelling species that kept getting transferred into the walls and roofs of new houses and then found an endless wealth of crumbs in their new big square tree. can you feel some kind of love and reverence for these strange neighbors of ours that we built into our homes over and over and two whom humans are an endless and eternal blessing. isn't it nice to think that to a few precious, annoying little critters, we're home.

-yeah i think you should get bangs. life is short and you'd look cute.

[nonsensicallycereal]

-i would like this amount of explanation listening to your information so im giving you this as a favour

-i know there are social conventions that will influence how you perceive my response / what that response should be but i dont know what they are so im going to be as explicitly clear as i can be but it takes longer to explain

-i didnt understand the question or hear it properly and am sort of hoping youll take the hint because ive asked you to repeat it three times already and its embarrassing

-you dont understand the jargon that would make this explanation shorter and so will be without necessary information so now i must explain it more [this information may or may not be actually necessary]

[deseos-de-la-via-lactea]

source

[utah-mountain-drifter-deactivat]

[depsidase]

[thequeeninyellowlace]

I have never wanted an imaginary thing more than this.

[i-am-a-fish]

[thepioden]

Chai tea bag + lil but of brown sugar + apple cider packet + 16 oz. mug of hot but not quite boiling water

it will not Fix You but like. maybe. maybe.

[thepioden]

tags by @eridan-ampora

[thepioden]

Update: this is the best post I've ever made because everyone is sharing their Warm Beverage recipes in the notes. Go check the notes for more Warm Beverages That Will Fix You.