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Writerās Block
I havenāt posted in a while and thatās mostly because Iām not sure what to write about. Since I am so new to blogging I havenāt quite figured out what Iām doing yet. I havenāt found my style. Or my words. But Iāll get it figured out. Iāll find my style. Iāll find my words. And Iāll figure out a schedule and post more frequently and get better.Ā
My ultimate goal with this blog is to bring awareness to trichotillomania and to end the stigma that people with trich areĀ āweirdā. Weāre real people who have a mental condition. I also want to let people who suffer from trichotillomania know that they are not alone and that they donāt have to live in secret. I am on every social media platform, and I will be posting regularly, well once I can get rid of my writerās block. I will eventually be making YouTube videos as well. So if youād like to take a peek into the life of a trichster, or if youād like to know that youāre not alone, like, add, subscribe, follow, allllaattt :)
Links are in my bio
Watch this Story!
Add me on Snap! Watch my daily struggle with trichotillomania.
I looooooooooove your icon, did you make it yourself? As a trichster working on an Art degree it gives me lots of inspiration and ideas
Actually, no. I found it on Pinterest. I saw it and felt like it represented trich perfectly. I wish I was creative enough to come up with it on my own. I donāt know who the original artist is, otherwise I would give them credit.
Summer.
Sunshine. Swimming. Stress? For trichsters, like me, yes. With it being summer time and having recently gone to a public pool, I needed to talk about something. And that is the stress and anxiety that revolves around summer time.
A lot of people with trichotillomania have a lot of anxiety during the summer. Mostly from trying to hide our trich. Many people avoid swimming in the summer in fear of getting their hair wet and exposing bald spots, or getting their face wet and their eyebrow make up coming off. There are some, like me, who have scars on their legs from picking so much, so they try to avoid wearing shorts in public. We constantly stress about trying to hide, and trying to come up with excuses when people notice and ask questions. We just want to enjoy summer like everyone else. But we can't.
I went to the public pool today with my family as part of our Take a Trip Thursday day of our summer schedule. (Found the idea on Pinterest) And I was worried about wearing a swimming suit, mostly because of my "mom bod", but also because it exposed my legs. I have pulled from my legs for so long, and dug out ingrown hairs, that I have scarring on the lower parts of my legs. Some marks are still red from recent picking. People have asked me, "what's wrong with your legs?", "are those bug bites?", "are you okay?". I've blamed it on razor burn, chiggers, eczema, and just ignored their question. It's embarrassing. How do you just casually tell someone "oh i just randomly pluck and pick at my leg hairs, sometimes without even noticing, because i can't help it."? Its a complicated thing to explain. Its a complicated thing to understand. I also avoided getting my hair wet. I mean, I was mostly holding babies in the shallow end rather than actually swimming. But I avoided going under the little waterfall contraption they had, because I knew that if I got my hair wet then my bald spots on my head would become noticeable. Just like if I got my face wet then my eyebrow makeup would smear off (I'm poor and can't afford the good stuff). I tried to enjoy the time with my family as best as I could, but that fear and anxiety were right there. One day I will be able to enjoy summer without being stressed and ashamed, because one day I will overcome this condition. Remission is possible, it just takes time and a lot of self-discipline.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
In my last two posts I mentioned compulsions and how BFRBs (Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors) are on the OCD spectrum. Well, weāre going to take a closer look at what obsessive compulsive disorder really is. And maybe then youāll get a better understanding on what goes on in the mind of people like me.
Obsessive compulsive disorder is a chronic mental illness in which one suffers intensely from recurrent, unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and/or rituals (compulsions) which they cannot control.
Obsessions are thoughts, images, or impulses that occur repeatedly. They are unwanted, intrusive, and often disturbing. Obsessions almost never make sense, especially to those who have them. Obsessions are most generally accompanied by uncomfortable feelings such as fear, disgust, or doubt. Sufferers try to prevent obsessions or make them go away by performing rituals, or compulsions. Compulsions are the acts repeatedly performed to obtain relief from the discomfort caused by obsessions, and are often done without realizing, hair pulling for example. However, the relief obtained is only temporary, hence the constant, repeated performing of these rituals. In some instances, people could suffer from either obsessions or compulsions, but not both. If left untreated, obsessions and the need to perform rituals can take over a personās life.
OCD symptoms usually begin gradually and tend to vary in severity throughout a personās life. Symptoms can worsen when a person experiences greater stress in their life. OCD symptoms can cause distress, take up a lot of time, or significantly interfere with a personās work, social life, and relationships. Symptoms can become so severe or time consuming that is becomes disabling. Some of the complications from OCD symptoms include, but are not limited to; health issues (ex. dermatitis from excessive, repeated hand washing), inability to attend work, school, or social activities, troubled relationships (family relationships, friendships, and romantic relationships), overall poor quality of life, and suicidal thoughts or even behaviors.
While there is no known cause of OCD, there are a few theories. The main theories are biology, such as the changes in the bodyās own natural chemistry or brain function; genetics, although specific genes have yet to be identified; environmental factors such as infections have been suggested, but further research is needed. There are also other factors thought to possibly increase the risk of developing or triggering OCD symptoms such as a family history of relatives with OCD, stressful or traumatic life events, or having other mental health disorders (i.e. anxiety, depression, tic disorders), or even substance abuse.
While there is no legitimate cure for obsessive compulsive disorder, medications and therapy have been known to lessen the severity of OCD symptoms. If you think you possibly show signs of OCD talk to your healthcare professional about referring you to a mental health professional to get an accurate diagnosis and to receive the proper help possibly needed.
Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRBs)
Since learning that I have Trichotillomania I have wanted to learn all that I can about this condition, or disorder. I have learned that it is one of many body-focused repetitive behaviors. But what is a body-focused repetitive behavior? And what other ones are out there?
Well, body-focused repetitive behavior is a term for a group of related disorders that include hair pulling, nail biting, and skin picking, as well as many others. They are complex disorders that cause people to repeatedly touch their hair and body in ways that result in physical damage. It is important to know that these behaviors are NOT habits or tics. They are compulsions, meaning we have no control over the urges to do these things.
Some common BFRBs include but are not limited to; Trichotillomania, the hair pulling disorder, Onychophagia, the nail biting disorder, and Excoriation/Dermatillomania, the skin picking disorder. Other BFRBs include cheek and lip biting, nail picking, scab eating, and other self-grooming related behaviors.
Trichotillomania, known as the hair pulling disorder, causes sufferers to pull out hair from the scalp, eye lashes, eye brows, and other parts of the body, often resulting in noticeable thin spots and bald patches. Approximately 5-20% of people who have trichotillomania also suffer from what is known as trichophagia, where they eat the hair they pull out.
Onychophagia, known as the nail biting disorder, causes sufferers to repeatedly and uncontrollably bite their nails past the nail bed and chew on their cuticles until they bleed, often leading to soreness and infection. Now, this is different from just nervously chewing your nails or biting them off so theyāre short. This is a compulsive disorder in which you are not in control. Many sufferers end up biting their whole nail off. They canāt control it. It is a obsessive compulsion.
Excoriation/Dermatillomania, known as the skin picking disorder, causes sufferers to repeatedly touch, rub, scratch, pick at, or dig into their skin, often resulting in discoloration, scarring, and even severe tissue damage and disfiguration. Individuals with dermatillomania may pick at healthy skin, minor skin irregularities such as pimples or calluses, lesions, or scabs. Dermatillomania affects approximately 1.4% of American adults, and more often women than men. It is also estimated that 38% of people with dermatillomania also suffer from trichotillomania.
Many BFRBs begin during adolescence, commonly coinciding with puberty, but may also affect children and adults at different ages. They are chronic mental illnesses that have no known cause or cure, but may be treated with medications and cognitive therapy. Usually BFRBs have alternating periods of remission and greater symptom intensity. Iām still waiting on my remission.
Life is #trichy when you live with #trichotillomania itās frustrating, itās devastating, itās embarrassing, itās hell. I wish I could ājust stopā. I wish I had a full head of hair. I wish I had full eyebrows. I wish I didnāt have scars on my legs. But most of all, I wish people understood. #tichster #trichstersofig #trich #trichotillomaniaawareness #bodyfocusedrepetitivebehavior #bfrb #bfrbawareness #trichotillomaniasupport https://www.instagram.com/p/ByEg2RlgDwC/?igshid=j6p7rifd1eyj
#trichotillomaniaawareness #trichotillomania #trich #trichster #trichstersunite #trichstersofig #bfrb #bfrbawareness https://www.instagram.com/p/ByEf0EegiE9/?igshid=1lydqs2sb7mh4
I feel like a puppet. I canāt stop. The urges are too much. #trichotillomania #hairpulling #support #trichster #trichstersunite https://www.instagram.com/p/ByD_KG-Arbk/?igshid=prmws1wy9im4
Iām a prisoner to my own hair. I canāt stop the urges. #trichotillomania #hairpulling #bfrb #support #knowledge https://www.instagram.com/p/ByD-1rJA1bP/?igshid=1cre3s7iskd6f
#trichotillomania isnāt a well known condition, and Iām wanting to end that. Itās destructive and embarrassing and it needs to be talked about. A lot of people suffer in silence, mainly out of fear of being rejected. And thatās not okay. Iām here to take a stand. Iām here for support. #trichster #trichstersunite (btw, this is not my photo, I found it on Pinterest and I feel it represents Trichotillomania so well. We are destroying our beauty. And that isnāt just our hair... itās ourselves. Because there is so much shame behind it.) https://www.instagram.com/p/ByD-lYQAk_W/?igshid=1l3d9c6wuupc0
Trichotillomania
A lot of people have no idea what that means. Well, trichotillomania is known as the hair pulling disorder. It is a body-focused repetitive behavior (BFRB). It is also considered an impulse control disorder. It is on the obsessive-compulsive spectrum, meaning its a lot like OCD. There is no known cause or cure, although it can be treated with medications such as antidepressants or antianxieties. Although the most common places people with trichotillomania pull from are the scalp, eyebrows, and eye lashes, people can pull from anywhere on the body that grows hair.
A lot of people donāt know this about me, but I have been suffering from this condition for as long as I can remember. When my ātrichā first started, I was about 6 or 7 and I started pulling out my eyebrows and eyelashes. I stopped pulling for a few years, then when I was about 10 I started pulling from my scalp. I ended up having to cut my hair super short in 7th grade because my pulling had gotten so bad. I had basically no hair on the top of my head. I would wear bandanas and hats all the time. I was so embarrassed by what I was doing to myself. And at the time I had no idea why I was doing it, I had no idea I was suffering from a legitimate medical condition. I didnāt know it had a name. And I definitely did not know I wasnāt the only one. Since I have gotten older, Iām 23 now, I have learned more and more about this condition. I have found other people who suffer from it, and I have learned that there are a lot of people who have it and conditions like it. It is estimated that between 0.6% to 4.0% of the overall population has suffered from trichotollimania, or other conditions like it, in their lifetime. The problem with getting an accurate number is that many people deny having it, or donāt even know they have it.
I have found quite a few support groups on Facebook, and thatās what I want my blog to be about. Support. I want people to know that they are not alone. They donāt have to suffer in silence. Trichotillomania needs to be talked about. As well as other body-focused repetitive behaviors. People need to know about these conditions so they know how to react to people who have these conditions. People who have these conditions need to be able to leave their homes and go out in public without feeling like they need to hide or be embarrassed by how they look. I havenāt told many people about my condition, but that is about to change. Iām ready to let the world know. Iām ready to end the stigma. I am not weird, I am not ugly, I have a medical condition. A lot of people do. And thatās okay.