[burdnurd]

lol I like doodling responses to tweets I like 

[thebootydiaries]

i’ve been having way too much fun on twitter lately

[maedaeme]

so today I drove past a traffic sign that said 'hey teens buckling up is totes yeet yo'

i wish i was joking but after we screamed a bit my brother attempted to get a picture as proof, failed, and ended up with this masterpiece that pretty much sums up the whole experience

[thecarvingwitch]

You mean this sign?

[catchymemes]

“I visited the pumpkin patch yesterday and decided to bring home a pumpkin that in shape appeared to be a penguin. Friends and family were mystified until I started painting him.“

by Volensblood

[labelleizzy]

I am so on board with that

[montparnah-deactivated]

story time my dad always made dinner when i was little so i spent the first ~4 years of my life eating mexican food everyday and the first time i went over to one of my white friends houses they gave us pb&j sandwiches and i was like “haha what about dinner” and the mom was like “that is dinner sweetie!” and i was like “i have to go home now”

[montparnah-deactivated]

when i got home my parents were like “i thought u were staying for dinner” and i told them what happened and my mom was shocked and was like “DELANEY that is RUDE” but my dad laughed for like half an hour

[davepetasprite-ebooks-deactivat]

Ok I’m white too but who the fuck eats pb&j for dinner

[tempest-in-the-storm]

College students

[13chancess]

push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise.

push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable.

get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else.

stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything.

buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.

buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small.

strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full.

organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle.

have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck.

push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog.

message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through.

think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything.

become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends.

lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you.

[monsieurenjlolras]

This is all really good advice for dealing with long term depression and anxiety. It’s not gonna magically cure you, but I’ve pushed myself to incorporate a few of these things into my day to day routine and it helps

[dankmemeuniversity]

[g0dtier]

americans are wild.

theres a convo on reddit going on rn abt how europeans see americans working conditions and a bunch of americans are like "its really not bad unless you work an entry level job, i have a medium wage job i got with my degree and i get about 15 days of paid vacation a year and i even get some sick days and can accrue more, the people complaining are low wage workers who should get something better"

like. you realize that for a fulltime job 20 paid vacation days are mandatory here right? and that even entry level job offer more paid vacation days? and that any ot you work gets paid more AND counts as more vacation time right? like if your work week is 38 hours and you work 40 hours a week you get paid overtime AND an extra paid 12 vacation days a year right? and that sick days are mandatory to be paid by your employer right? that theres no limit on sick days, right?

you realize that what youre listing as good benefits is literally the bare minimum here right?

[mickeymarie]

[cheese24k]

[dazzling-hollyhock-deactivated2]

Adorable baby girl being chased by daddy, finally takes a stand.

OMG MY HEART

“DAD!”

*gibberish*

[glumshoe]

The other day I watched a little boy get knocked to the ground by an older kid who was running by. He burst into tears as his mother hurried over.

“Here’s a bandaid for ya,” I said, producing one from my vest pocket.

“Oh, he’s not bleeding, thank you though!”

I lowered my voice and leaned in. “Kids think bandaids are health magic,” I said. “Ask him where it hurts and exploit that placebo effect.”

She did just that, and instantly the kid stopped crying and thanked her. “I’ll have to remember that,” she said.

Children: #HACKED

[tinyqueenusagi-chan]

Also if you have a crying kid give them a cup of water. You can’t cry and drink at the same time and it gives them a chance to calm down.

Tell them their going to run out of tears so they drink the water.

My mom does this at her preschool after awhile the other children start offering the crying child little cups of water.

[maxanaxam]

Stuff like this is also a great test to see if the kid is actually seriously injured! Because with how much some kids cry over tiny bumps and scrapes, it can be hard to tell. But if you slap a Band-Aid on it or give them a cup of water or a piece of candy and they stop crying, they’re fine. If they keep crying despite whatever little placebo or distraction you’ve given them, you might wanna look a little closer at that injury or seek medical attention.

[raincloudsandsunbeams]

With my two’s class we ask them “more hurt or more scary?” It takes a bit of practice but after a few times they can answer without more prompting. More scary gets a hug and more hurt gets a look over.

[markingatlightspeed]

That last one is so important because it validates the child’s feelings and tells them it’s okay to have these feelings and lets them learn how to deal with them, rather than just distracting them from them. I also helps teach the child to both communicate their feelings more readily and communicate when they’re hurt more clearly. All really important skills for a child to develop young.

[atiredwitchx]

Oh cool so you basically told his mom you know how to handle her upset child better than she does. That’s cool that’s cool- definitely not the worst most annoying mansplainy shit I’ve ever heard.

[glumshoe]

if explaining why I give kids at my workplace bandaids when they’re not bleeding is the “worst most annoying mansplainy shit you’ve ever heard” I envy you, ‘cause my coworker is currently in the middle of an unprompted 15 minute lecture to me about how it’s dangerous to walk around alone at night in big cities and my ears are starting to bleed

[lucidnee]

you ever look back at your tweets like wow…I was high as hell

[lucidnee]

high…as hell

[sweetdickheadass]

I was riding behind one of these today

[lucidnee]

THIS IS THE TRUCK

[subcorax]

infants are so goddamn funny. i was holding my niece today and i just told her “i diagnose you with baby” and she stared at me with the absolute widest eyes like i’d just told her the secret to life itself so i nodded and went “it’s true! you’re just baby” and she stopped for a few seconds, then absolutely YELLED her little head off, very seriously informed me, “ABABABABABAAAAA” and faceplanted into my shoulder, where she promptly began to try to eat my shirt

[catgifcentral]

Hmc while i watch this ball coming toward me

[securipun]

D:

[everythingfox]

“Cat Realizes She Has Ears!”

(Source)

[garbage-empress]

people in the notes are freaking out because this cat passed the mirror test and i can’t really blame them because literally all the first results on google say they don’t

[confusion-and-cake]

This cat in an Intellectual

[loafed-beans-deactivated2020082]

I know many of you out there are feeling a bit down. Have a crow to Wouldn’t it be Nice by the Beach Boys to lift your mood.

[thedoctorknits]

He stops and looks both ways?!?

[bettsplendens]

You wanna know what makes this better?

Crows normally walk. This one seems to have both legs working, so he’s not hopping out of necessity, he’s doing it for fun. Corvids can sometimes be seen doing things like this for no evident reason other than enjoyment.

[jcgreen72]

This is my new favorite post

[dovewithscales]

I can’t ever not reblog.

[zoraiya]

It’s cleaning time again only instead of using just the faucet I decided to try the shower head instead. I left him like this for 20 mins while I cleaned out and scrubbed his cage.

[thebuttkingpost-deactivated2021]

I feel like Africa is playing in his head

[bigstupiduglyogre]

Decadence

[smallmight]

Decadence

[richardgoranski]

this is just. so fucking funny to me