FR E SH AVOCA DO

Mostly reblogs + random ramblings about my life~Beautiful icon by digital scratch-arting, shitty header by me uwu~

[broken-fortune]

I JUST FOUND POSTS FROM 2018 WHERE I SAID IM STRAIGHT LMAOOOOO NEWSFLASH UR GAY AS HELL😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[broken-fortune]

good god i need to change everything about this account

[licebrain]

gay ppl after fighting in the applebees parking lot at 8pm on a thursday.

[curiouslystrongmintsblog]

North @ Markus:

[broken-fortune]

dOUG JUDY??

[detroit-extended]

You Have Beautiful Eyes

In which Connor accidentally started a fire and is trying to distract Markus away from it.

“What did you do, Connor?”

“Nothing! Everything’s fine, Markus.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Yes.”

Behind the door of the apartment, Markus heard a loud bang followed by North’s swearing.

“That was nothing.”

“Connor, I can smell smoke. Just let me in already.”

“North is having really wild and kinky sex right now and it’d be rude to interrupt.”

“What the fuck.”

“She wanted me to stay outside and make sure no one came in. So please don’t go inside.”

“First of all, this isn’t even her apartment.”

“She wanted to spice things up a little!”

“Connor, just let me in.”

“You have beautiful eyes.”

“Complimenting me won’t distract me from the fire, Connor.”

“I am gay for you, Markus. Very gay.”

“I know, Connor. We’ve been dating for a month. Now let me in.”

Markus brushed pass Connor and opened the door. Lo and behold, North was there. She wasn’t engaged in wild and kinky sex, thankfully. She was just angrily pointing a fire extinguisher at the stove.

She yelped when he came in.

“Uh, shit- haha, hey.”

“North?”

“You have beautiful eyes, Markus.”

[broken-fortune]

i dont even ship markus and connor but this was hilarious

[vinnie-cha]

i sure hope human verification captchas still exist in the detroit become human universe

[broken-fortune]

i love stuff like this XD

[devintrinidad]

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/12956162/1/Mister-Magic-Man

For those of you who like to read my dbh fanfics, here’s a new one for y’all.

It’s basically a little story idea where Kara calls the police and history diverges a little. :)

[broken-fortune]

one of the best connor x kara fanfics ive ever read :’) (tho, there isnt much of them :/ )

[vikingknight90]

Still your partner - Connor/Hank

Synopsis: Based on the (obviously) Good Ending, where Hank and Connor reunite by the fast-food truck and have a heart-to-heart on where their partnership now stands. Friendship/father-son centric.

The cold nip in the air made the aging cop shudder and close his coat tighter over his collarbone. Late summer birds carefully chirped from phone wires a couple hundred feet away, as if confused by the sudden appearance of winter. For how crowded a city this usually was, especially with the android revolution having turmoiled the streets for the past few weeks, this particular corner on this particular day, was draped in a comforting silence. Perhaps it was the revolution’s end, perhaps it was the falling of snow, but Hank welcomed the peaceful atmosphere with every fibre of his being.

He had been too old for the whole mess that had been going on, so he had thought for the longest time. Perhaps ever since that damn android had been assigned to assist him: he had been too old. Well true, he was only 53, but a plastic asshole being assigned his unwanted partner on top of his depression and drinking problems had not helped his mental health in the slightest.

At least, not to begin with, it hadn’t.

“Okay, okay.” Connor had said, letting go of the android he had been about to convert. “You win. Let Hank go.”

Keep reading

[hellomrbones]

[undeservinghero67-deactivated20]

Harley is a gift from God.

[lpfan9976]

This is why Harley is like my all time favorite!

[forceguardian]

Why did they leave out the best part of this scene?;

The character development of Harley is probably one of the better things DC has done with their characters.

[uncookedtrashmonster]

That last line :((((

[creature-a]

There is more:

[acerosedrop]

The fact that she actually had a plausible reason for the muzzle makes this even better.

[broken-fortune]

i love everything about this

[chikkou]

people who think a zombie apocalypse would be cool

[broken-fortune]

[huglusted]

[beeandpupcat]

THE GREATEST JOKE ADVENTURE TIME HAS EVER WRITTEN

[goat-yells-at-everything]

[silver-tongues-blog]

[allieinarden]

[katielynn526]

[hayamika-deactivated20240815]

People like to make fun of animators but jokes on them…

[alexandr1te]

WHY’D YALL LEAVE OUT THE BEST ONE?

[maxineprimal]

Can’t forget this gem.

[ineffectualdemon]

How to determine if a kids injury is serious or not

offer them “medicinal chocolate” if they stop crying it’s fine if they carry on crying/refuse the chocolate then it’s serious

[nonbinaryparent]

From age two apparently^^

[shirleycarlton]

Oh wow I never heard this one.

[official-90er-kind]

German edition: offer the kid to blow away the pain. If it’s better afterwards it’s okay, if they refuse or still screaming it’s serious

[having-conniptions]

Also a lot healthier than giving your kid chocolate everytime they cry tbh

[ineffectualdemon]

It’s not everytime they cry it’s only if they get injured and you’re unsure if it’s serious because they are screaming but you can’t tell if they are overreacting or not

For things that are clearly a minor bump we give kisses instead

[ineffectualdemon]

And before anyone thinks if a kid is screaming it’s not an over reaction

My kid fell off their bike and skinned their knee. Just skinned it that’s all and they went into full on scream/crying hysterical because it was bleeding and they hadn’t had an injury where they bled within their memory

It wasn’t so much the pain as the blood that made them hysterical.

In that case we could see it wasn’t serious but the chocolate helped them calm down and then I got them to tell me about Terraria until they were calm and their wound was dressed

It was absolutely an overreaction to a skinned knee but it was also an understandable one

Kids don’t have experience or pain tolerance we do and sometimes it’s hard to tell if it’s something that requires a trip to the hospital or not

[star-anise]

Kids have to be TAUGHT how to self-regulate. Kids aren’t born knowing that being hurt, scared, or angry doesn’t literally mean they aren’t in life-threatening danger. As infants, our threat response system isn’t good at telling the difference between “my caretaker is in the bathroom peeing” and “I have been abandoned for the wolves to eat”, or between “I fell and bonked my head” and “I am being actively mauled by a mountain lion”. 

Because in both events, a child’s stress response system initially responds the same way to both scenarios. They produce roughly the same levels of stress hormones for both events. It’s only after hundreds, sometimes thousands, of repetitions of “Being hungry and unattended for a little bit ends with someone coming to feed me” or “experiencing pain does not mean I am about to die” that children’s stress systems begin to learn what’s worth freaking out about, and what’s not.

So little kids who are past infancy often have the brain wiring that can go, “Okay, this is not an emergency, I don’t need to freak out,” but it doesn’t kick in very naturally when they’re hurt or scared. They need to be reminded that it exists by the attention of a trusted adult, or the reminder of physical actions or objects (food, comfort objects, kisses) of all the times it’s been okay before.

[csevet]

my parents’ line was “are you hurt, or are you scared?” 

because sometimes you’re just kinda shocked from unexpectedly falling over or running into the door or whatever. but asking the question means you gotta stop and look at the thing you’re feeling and give it a name, something i still need prompting for to this day sometimes. but once the feeling has a name we can figure out what to do with it, and also the slow-down-and-find-a-word has lowered the shock level.

“both” is an acceptable answer, btw.

[femmedionysus]

if they’re not gushing blood or obviously have a broken bone, two things that (in my personal experience working with 5-12 year old kids, anyway) are helpful:

-name their feelings, as mentioned above. “Wow, that looked like a nasty fall! I bet that hurt, let’s see what we can do to fix it” or “Oh man, it’s really scary to fall off the swings, huh?” Keep your tone calm, because kids tend to look to the adult to see how they should be reacting.

-incorporate learning about their body/how their body works with figuring out how serious the injury is. “Wow, you fell down really hard! Can you point to where it hurts the most?” or “Let’s check your hand to see how it got hurt. Can you open and close your hand in a fist? That’s good, if your fingers can still bend then it means they’re not broken!” or “I see your knee is really red where you scraped it on the sidewalk, did you know that’s because when you get hurt, your body sends more blood to the owie to help fix it?” This distracts them and if it’s not a serious injury, 99% of the time distraction and a bandaid or ice pack is all they’ll need.

(Things to NOT do, btw: “you’re okay”/“you’re fine”/“that’s not that bad” I hope I don’t need to explain why)

[sassenachxedits]

[broken-fortune]

all of these are a big fat mood

[bananagreste]

Game: what was the last boardgame you played? Or Book: what was the last book you read?

Game: What was the last board game you played?

Connect Four.

Read: What was the last book you read?

Do fanfics count because I have been steadily reading YOI fanfictions.

Ask me questions!

[broken-fortune]

me: i read a lot

person: same! what’s your favourite book?

me: uhhhhh

[kim-jisoo]

I’ve never related to something as much and felt as personally offended at the same time.

[broken-fortune]

“because my fitbit says I’m dead”

LMAO IM ALSO DEAD XD

[godrixhollow]

#in which i am both jake AND amy becAUSE #SAME

[agentsalex-deactivated20200723]

please watch brooklyn nine-nine