in which bdubs and etho take care of each other's health and wellbeing. transcript under the cut:
etho: my only goal in this is to keep bdubs happy.
cleo: that's all you ever care about!
etho: i just don't want him to say i hate it afterwards.
cleo: how's that working out for you?
bdubs: it's wonderful, he's very wise. and he's taking care of me, i'm a little sick.
bdubs: etho's taking care of me
etho: we gotta watch bdubs, make sure he's safe
[bdubs is smacked into the cow pit]
bdubs: [distressed noises]
etho: [putting blocks down to protect bdubs, leaving himself open] oh now he's looking at ME, NO!
etho: protect me, i'm low!
bdubs: etho you're low?
etho: i'm gonna eat all our lapis
bdubs: here, here here here! have some stalactites! [group laughs]
etho: i don't think that's safe! are you sure?
bdubs: they're good, they're good, i tried them. they're delicious.
bdubs: but alliance and priority is etho's love and health.
bdubs: i'll take care of etho's snail here...
joel: you're just following etho's snail here bdubs?
bdubs: i'm walking it to safety. yup.
etho: get underground! over here!
bdubs: [yelling] i'm coming! it's bad up there.
etho: follow the torch, follow the torch.
bdubs: okay! it's still coming though so get ready! [shouts]
etho: oh, bdubs...
bdubs: it's FINE!
bdubs: [screaming]
etho, fragilely: bdubs, bdubs...
bdubs: you! you did so wonderfully!
etho: my life flashed before my eyes just then...
etho: i was debating like, should i make a moss farm? and then when i heard you were doing it, it's like no i'm gonna hold off. i'm gonna rely on my buddy bdubs! [bdubs mhms] he's gonna take care of me this season.
etho: feather falling! feather falling!
bdubs: that's what I wanted!
ren: you should probably give that to bdoubleo, to be honest.
etho: bdubs, i will -
bdubs: no, it's fine, i'm gonna get it myself.
etho, quietly: you need it.
etho: someone help bdubs, he's got no gear. bdubs - someone help bdubs, please. i don't want him to die.
for bdubs, so when he dies all the time it'll help him. he needs all the help he can get.
bdubs: no i don't, i'm fine.
etho: he doesn't even have a shirt!
bdubs: it's for battle....
etho: oh, okay
bdubs: i don't know who's gonna take care of me now that he's gone... he was the one that took care of me. and kept me alive!
etho: i don't know how you're gonna do this scar, because i'm gonna defend bdubs, and then you'll die.
scar: come on!
bdubs: yes, i'm okay! she was chasing me! we were there, we were making plans!
etho: i got you a life bdubs, i got you a life!
scar: boop, sign the contract!
etho: bdubs you gotta protect me.
bdubs: i'll protect you.
bdubs: set your spawn just in case.
etho: i did, i did, thank you. you're always so considerate, bdubs.
bdubs: yeah, yeah, i care.
etho: you're sick right, i gotta take care of my poor guy...
bdubs: yeah i'm just gonna lay here.
etho: bdubs we need you!
bdubs: i'm on it!
etho: oh it's getting dark - bdubs, save me! thank you. just at the right time there.
[bdubs sighs loudly several times, and etho silently turns around to look at him, making bdubs laugh]
etho: you okay bdubs?
bdubs: i'm fine.
bdubs: how dare!
etho: who am i kidding, i'm washed up bdubs! it's all over!
bdubs: stop it! no!
cleo: i'm gonna get so annihilated right now.
etho: cleo's right, she's right, i have no confidence anymore because of her.
bdubs: stop it. no, you're a hero!
etho: i'm wondering if you were needing a cohost, if you were running out of steam.
bdubs: alright, yeah, yeah i do, i'm out.
etho: but i can texture too, like i [mumbles] texture.
bdubs: yeah yeah! i know you can - i know that too much is uncomfortable. right?
etho: i don't know what it is. like i like it when you do it.
bdubs: sure yeah, but it can be too much.
etho: i got a little bit of texture in here!
bdubs: you do, look at this!
etho: i could throw some granite in here, i could do all kinds of things.
bdubs: you sure could and you know it.
etho: bdubs is just protecting me okay, he knows what's best for me.
ethubs who've been fwb for a decade getting to a new season of hermitcraft and bdubs turns to etho and waggles his eyebrows hey so when do you want to break in the new server and etho half scandalised says and what makes you think i'm a sure thing? and bdubs goes i'm not taking that from the guy who's always sneaking up on me trying to get his hands in my pants and etho very oh i see so you think i'm some kind of floozy and bdubs says floozy! and etho says you know a little romance every now and again would be nice i don't even remember the last time you did something nice for me without wanting something out of it. and obviously that's a lie and they both know it but now on principle they can't have sex until romantic standards have been met, except bdubs can't just give him flowers or a box of redstone and call it a day because etho will accuse bdubs of thinking he can be won over with flowers or redstone, and bdubs can't take him out on a date because a) it's right at the beginning of the season, the infrastructure of the server includes an end portal and a quartz shop and that's it, and b) see the aforementioned point about flowers and redstone. so they are at. somewhat. of an impasse. however they are still incapable of being normal about each other. theyre out chatting and bdubs is sketching and he's like man i want to paint this but i don't have any paper. wait. take your shirt off. and etho raises his eyebrow and says uh huh but he does, and then he's lying on the grass and bdubs is covering his back in oil paint and he says is this if this is supposed to be foreplay and bdubs says how can it be foreplay i'd end up with paint all over myself. and etho says so it's fine for me to be covered in paint but youre too high and mighty for it. and bdubs says well i don't get myself into these situations! this conversation obviously does not lead to sex. another day etho decides that he would actually like to try getting good at pvp again so drags bdubs out to a clearing and they get extremely hot and sweaty and etho pins bdubs to the ground with his crotch basically on bdubs's face and he's got his bare chest out and on any other day even one of these things is near guaranteed to secure him a blowjob, both of them together is a slam dunk, but bdubs just look up at him and says now i know you want a little more romance than that sweetheart. and proceeds to trigger etho's respawn twice in a row. then bdubs notices etho's nail varnish is chipping on his toes and so insists on doing it for him because etho always gets the varnish everywhere and so he's got etho's feet in his lap doing them and then giving etho a foot massage and bdubs gets hard and he looks over and notices etho is too and says that's very interesting. and etho says oh you think this has something to do with you. very cocky. and so they don't fuck. and it goes on and on like this throwing themselves at each other and getting soundly rejected for months until the end of the season gets announced as being a couple of weeks away and they look at each other and realise they haven't fucked in almost a year and a half and well. they do not spend much of the next two weeks finishing any projects.
Its already insane how often joel mentions bdubs but to say āimagine bdubs naked with beetroots covering each nippleā on stream and to include in your own hc episode is. well.
what is personal space to a cubito. i mean this sincerely. like generally when people are hanging out they stand looking at each other a respectable distance away, like you would if you were having a conversation in real life. but really you could get into a group and have a conversation from opposite sides of the server. prox chat makes a difference but there's close and there's close, you know? racing to get into the same bed. pushing someone else with your body. zooming into their face. standing closer than normal. standing close because you want to be close. standing close because all your friends got to be with him in real life last week, to touch him and see his face without pixels blurring their vision or the box of the screen restricting their view. but you, all you get to have is this.
Iāve been loving the pace of the Mumbo videos lately heās settled into a really good rhythm:
Hi everyone letās try build two (2) (āļø) trees today :)
Experiences the most emotional turmoil and artistic agony a human can experience for the next eight minutes
Okay š¦ I think I like how the first tree is going š Iām really happy with how my base is turning out š¬
Hi miscellaneous hermit of the day your base is so cool and everything you make is so cool and youāre so cool letās go stargazing together and maybe kiss on the cheek and forehead but no further āļø
Okay :) second tree time!
Fourteen minutes more of convulsing on the floor and coughing up blood
I had a once in a lifetime experience a few days back lol š because
ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ooorghā¦ā¦ā¦.. the sufferingā¦ā¦ā¦
Cleo: Actually, your team scares me a little bit.
Pearl: You got a good team, Etho.
Etho: I've got a pretty good team, I've got a good team, I can't complain.
Pearl: Everyone keeps focusing on yellow, but you have a really good team.
Cleo: You have a really good team. And El might actually keep you three from--doing your love triangle thing.
Pearl: Oh gosh.
Cleo: Maybe.
Pearl: That love triangle might actually keep them from doing better to be honest with you.
Cleo: Like, honestly, I think that's the-that's what's going to--
Pearl: They'll be so focused on kissing each other--
Cleo: I think that's what's gonna cause them to-to-to fail, is that love triangle.
Etho: See I always thought it was a respect triangle, and somehow it got turned into a love triangle.
Cleo: Etho you see how you and Bdubs act to each other, don't you?
Pearl: Oh Etho.
Etho: Respectfully? (Pearl and Cleo snicker)
Pearl: Yeah, that-that's what they say when they're being sarcastic about it.
Cleo: Yep, it's a "respect" triangle.
Etho: Mmmm.
Pearl: Yeah, "respectfully," very respectful triangle. Mhm.
Cleo: I feel so sorry for El, (Cleo begins laughing) it's gonna be like herding cats.
Pearl: Oh, poor El. Ohhh. Your team's gonna be great.
Etho: Joel's gonna be yelling the whole time, and then that's gonna make Bdubs--
Pearl: Oh, yeah.
Cleo: Yeah.
Etho: --yell even louder.
Pearl: Uh huh?
Cleo: Can Bdubs louder?
Pearl: (overlapping Cleo) I feel so bad El.
Cleo: El's-El's-oh, it's going to be so funny, I'm so looking forward to it. Poor El.
Etho: El and I will be retreated in the corner.
Cleo: You think so?
Pearl: No Etho, you're gonna be part of that.
Cleo: You're going to be instigating.
Pearl: I don't think Bdubs and Joel are gonna let you get away with that.
Cleo: You're going to be instigating.
Etho: I do like to--
Cleo: Just by standing there.
Etho: --I do like to tease them a bit.
Pearl: Yeah.
Cleo: Yeah. That is-that is-that is an Etho thing (Cleo laughs).
Scar teasing Bdubs about his love of Etho on his stream just now
(Iāll transcribe when stream is over cos Iām busy watching it rn I recommend everyone tunes in, itās scar doing Bdubsā grass farm red stone infront of a large audience)
Transcript:
Scar: Listen to this guy gas Etho up: "The Etho Hopper Clock," we call it here in the business the EHC. Etho is a wonderful man.
Bdubs, overlapping: Okay, that's not what it says. That's not-
Scar: I have a small framed photo of him in my drawer, next to my bedside.
(Scar, Impulse, and Skizz laugh)
Bdubs: Taped to my monitor as well.
Scar teasing Bdubs about his love of Etho on his stream just now
(Iāll transcribe when stream is over cos Iām busy watching it rn I recommend everyone tunes in, itās scar doing Bdubsā grass farm red stone infront of a large audience)
Finally tried haste 2 efficiency 5 for a massive dig im doing and uh. Wow. I suddenly understand why other people consider that a Requirement for a big dig. Its shockingly fast on stone. I was doing haste 1 efficiency 5 for the first stretch of the dig bc I didnt have an iron farm bc the nearest village is about 1500 blocks away, and that felt pretty fast, especially on the sandstone which is instamine well before that point, but haste 2 is wild.
I dont usually go in for beacons because I have terrible luck with wither skulls and dont like being in the nether. But now that I know...
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