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@mochachailattecafe
this part is one that i'm really going to hate. in the wake of all that happened yesterday, i need to talk about finances. i know this is long, but i urge you to read through, because i could really use some tangible, real help right now.
as many of you know, the work we did for Avid was substantial. the music we made with him has been our lifeblood for the past several months as we have been reeling from the onset of a severe, life changing disability diagnosis that prevents us from working a typical job. music, video editing, streaming, and making our own videos are about all we can do. our disabling dissociative amnesia prevents the timely and reasonable learning of new skills. while we have been working constantly with a dissociative specialist to inch towards remedying this, we do not expect that we will be equipped to work in any other capacity any time soon.
the royalties we received from the music we made together with Avid were roughly 80-90% of our income on any given month for the calendar year so far, and they have helped us stay afloat while we have been trying to go through the rigorous and ill-equipped disability system.
putting all your eggs in one basket is never a good idea regardless, and the fears i had building for the past couple of months only further emphasized this. as such, i have been trying to diversify by engaging with streaming, trying to get my name out there for collaborative work in other SMPs, and reaching out to my creator friends for editing work. i really can't thank two people in particular enough - LeonSBU and NatureOfGaming - for providing me work as they have been able to afford and especially in Leon's case, getting my name out there for other SMPs.
unfortunately, the true extent of Avid's manipulations and lies were more than i could ever have imagined. the fact that my entire understanding of his intentions has been flipped in a matter of no more than 3 days feels like being hit by a truck. for full transparency, i am no longer in contact with Avid, but i did inform them that i was leaving the fate of our music in their hands. in the final messages he sent to me before i cut contact, he told me that he "would never cut [me] off financially". he told me he would never do a lot of things, so forgive me if i have trouble trusting this. regardless, the dropoff in listenership after what has been revealed will be substantial and immediate.
in the best case-scenario, i have a month or two left before royalties catch up to this dropoff, and will see consistent income for that time still. in the worst, i will no longer be able to afford my rent by the end of the month if he does remove the music and disable my royalty splits.
what i need is two things: i need immediate funds to fall back on in case things go poorly, and i need longevity. i have been so lucky to be surrounded by so many truly astounding and generous creators who have been willing to put my name out there for work. i am hoping this comes to fruition. i am already hearing from some about potential editing opportunities which is amazing. but things are still up in the air, and i need to be quick and smart. this is why i am doing something that my fans know i hate. i'm asking for help.
as i see it, there are three pillars to this. all the highlighted text below links directly:
immediate aid - if you have the funds to spare, buying our music on Bandcamp and donating to our Ko-Fi are methods of which we see the funds in a matter of days, if not instantly. this will help us build an emergency fund if worse comes to worse.
supporting our work - by spreading the word about our streaming on Twitch and listening to our music on streaming services such as Spotify, Apple Music, and YouTube (and any other platform our music is on), you provide a significant source of consistent income that we can rely on month-to-month.
word of mouth - talking about what we do and why you enjoy it is a surprisingly big help, because it helps us find connections for potential growth opportunities and commission work. additionally, letting people know we have a Discord and are the ones responsible for Avid's music in the first place not only helps us, but it helps the people who loved Avid's music know there is more out there from the person who made his songs possible.
i'm gonna level with you all. i fucking hate writing this. i feel like a beggar. i feel humiliated. these past three days of piecing things together have been some of the worst of my life, and having to once again ask for help is the cherry on top. since i learned about the truth three days ago, this has been constantly looming over me. everything else has been made crystal clear to me, so i at least know without a shadow of a doubt what happened. but with this? i'm terrified. Avid knew my situation, my disability, my reliance on our work together. he has left me in a truly impossible situation. i am taking it as an opportunity to double down on the work i was already doing and try to turn it into a positive. i hope that you all are gracious enough to help me make that a reality. it would really mean the world right now.
for some positivity in all of this, here's a sneak peak of my next song. i'm so ready to move forwards and i'm trying to let this empower me to make some awesome fucking art. thank you to everyone who read to the end. hope to see you all soon <3
like objectively etho is straight up mean a lot of times, bdubs just likes it. but he's also prone to like. when the end rod shaming starts he says how can i shame bdubs everything he touches turns to gold! and so he shames him on empty interiors, things he hasn't done. which is so shades of it's perfect you're etho and menacing the crastle but immediately cutting in i don't want bdubs to die as he leaves and so on. they both got so delicate with each other after s7 started and it makes me sick
another thing abt the etho-bdubs mutually constitutive identity bullshit & their care and keeping of each other is that bdubs will gas etho up on video any time any place, and it is ofc genuine admiration; when playing up his own foolishness and reactivity, he's just as likely to insult him over what is obviously nothing or a contrived competition. but he also is very sensitive to what he thinks etho is sensitive about, like the floor stuff, and that (almost) never goes in his own videos.
on the other hand etho will happily make fun of bdubs for both builds and irl characteristics (small castle, short height, pink hoodie, mostly just emasculating him in general)... but he's way more likely to cut in otherwise behind-the-scenes or process-y clips of bdubs being wildly gentle with him or complimenting him in reserved, genuine ways. while also acting stressed about running jokes abt his own character he's beholden to even though it boils down to shit bdubs joked about and he's not saying it's bdubs' fault ever at all. (tnt vs sucker! harsh critic! etc.)
so basically you have public hard-line you're perfect and a worthy opponent & private constructive support from bdubs, while etho makes public slivers of the private support & keeps somewhat covert the ripple effects of public image campaigning bdubs does. and bdubs says he makes videos with etho as his mind's-eye audience, and etho makes the potion machine or does the floor stuff at the charity event knowing bdubs will be the only one to read the hidden message. so who's it for, all this inversion.
the little among us people are so cute genuinely i look at them and i saw awwwww awwwwww awwwwwwwwwwww awww awwwww awwwwwww awww
mr goodtimes "i can fix him" withscar
holding important items
(jun 3, 2026)
thought i had in my brain since start of S11 that i had to get out
(apr 29, 2026)
we're all going to work to make women and nonbinary people feel safe and accepted in the mcyt community. this is not optional.
the transition to the ad he is so fucking annoying
#bosscallwasmade
alright bdubs you can go ahead and upload now
Happy Pride! Reminder that Xion is a transwoman and we all love her for it
one time a guy friend told me he was quitting league of legends and literally two weeks later she was on estrogen. these events are intrinsically connected in my mind.
There is still time [to stop playing league of legends]
are you hoes on lol mode yet ?
they call him "xb" as the b is short for binary and the x is symbolic of ❌ : meaning non. their full name is nonbinarycrafted and I know this because they told me so