Broland and the Mystery Woman Person
11am, I am awake. I have to be awake I know what time it is. I can't possibly know the time when I am asleep. Or can I? No, I was right the first time I can't. The sun is outside, thankfully. Imagine if it were inside I am pretty sure I would at least receive a mild case of tan lines if not I would actually be on fire, the sun is pretty hot this time of year. Maybe winter is a better time to let the sun in the office. Yes that is what I will do. That is a far better idea, who wants the sun inside on a hot summer day. That is indeed crazy talk.
It's 11:01am, I am still awake. Fifty-five minutes later I get out of bed. OK so it is a couch and this is not my house nor my apartment but it is my office. My place of business. My Mum's basement. I don't have a Mum. Stop judging me, she was run over by a spaceship. She fell down a well. she ran away because she hated me. I am alone. Oh wait someone is at the door. yes I have a door, and I do have this office. I am allowed pets. My pet is Luck, the kitten. She is a kitten. I do love kittens.
I wonder who is at my door, I do hope it is someone at my door and I am not hearing things again. The voices are usually voices though and often my own voice not the sound of a knocking at my door. I am not crazy. Much. It is a girl. I like girls. She is pretty. Fuck no she is cute, like a button with amazing boobs! I love boobs. She stands there, staring at me. I stare back, we stare at each other. We are staring into each others souls. I am fictional I have no soul, what is she looking at? what am I looking at? Oh right her boobs. She is more than this, she, she, she is a girl. I like girls. I stand in the doorway, I am blocking her entrance, I invite her in. She accepts. she is inside, I sit behind my desk and she sits in the chair in front of it.
She tells me her story, I am not listening. I better listen. She tells it again. I listen this time. I do not understand the story. she tells me again. This woman is a mystery person. she says she has lost her imagination. She once was an imaginative person thinking up all sorts of things from space pirate ninjas with pitch forks that had smaller pitch forks attached on each tip. Colourful stripes across a sky kinda like a rainbow but bigger and with more gold at the end. Unicorns with two horns and some with three! None of the could fly though, that is just stupid. Unicorns with wings, I mean really, what the fuck?
She rambled on for a bit and i drifted off into her eyes. I scan over her body. Her hair short, dark and with character. Asian anime character. Very sexy and almost unbelievable how it stays in that shape even when she moves, not even a hurricane made of cement could move that hair. I want to reach out and pull it. Her eyes piercing like pointy spoons, shiny but dangerous, perhaps spork like even. A hint of soft with a touch of danger. Her lips, big, full, made to suck an engine through a tail pipe. she bites her lip when she knows I am looking, she did that, she knows I saw it, she is teasing me, that slut! I like it.
She continues to talk, i continue to undress her with my hands, in my mind, and with my eyes not in my mind. he chest, wow what a chest! I begin to sweat, maybe the sun is in the room. Did, d-d-did her boobs just talk to me? I think they did. I sit forward. I swear they just said touch me, come here and touch me, do it, touch me, touch me touch me touch me! Bu-But I can't do that. Well I could but I can't. OK I will, later, later I will touch you. I am going to touch you so good, you just wait. what, what is that? You don't want to wait. Oh you are a bad girl, very bad. I am sorry, there is two of you? Two boobs and you both want me to touch you? Oh well I am flattered and quite frankly very aroused so OK. But still, later. Yes I said later, don't talk back to me.
My eyes work down further. I need to get to the bottom of this, of her. She stands up and walks over to me and stands in front of me. I stare at her belly button, or where I picture it to be, she is wearing a shirt. A button up shirt. A white button up shirt. So many buttons but barely enough to hold back those talkative breasts. I work my way down, down, down. fuck I drooled. I pretend to sneeze. I totally got away with it. I gaze back up. In front of me the boobs are once again trying to distract me but this time it is foul play. Nipples, they have thrown out their nipples in order to steal my attention away. Those bastards, have they no shame. I know I don't, but them, I expected more. More, more I want more. Later. I am too strong for them, for now.
Her story expands as I sit back and pretend to listen. I am pretty much a shrink but I don't make my client sit in a chair and feel restrained. I do not make her write a letter to express her feelings as if that will help. I do not pretend to not be sexually attracted to my client and hide behind our 'professional relationship'. I do not give the same solution to every person that steps through my door because this woman is the first person that has stepped through my door ever. I only just got a door. It used to be a curtain made of broken dream, spilt tears and an old sheet I found out the back. It smelt of pee, I washed it, it still smelt like pee. I do not like pee smell. I washed it again and it was clean. i forgot soap the first time. It happens, don't pretend you haven't done that before too! I wonder what panties she is wearing...
I know what a lot of underwear looks like but what if it is something I have never seen before? What if it has lace that only hides half of her camel toe I am now noticing. That is impressive, I have never seen one of those in a person wearing a skirt. Actually now it is freaking me out, but drawing me in at the same time. it is like a lava lamp, a train wreck, two ugly lesbians kissing, I can't look away. What power has this over me, I-I-I-I am moving on. Her snatch will not catch me. Hehe, snatch. Lost Imagination, I wonder if it is in there? Could it be that she is in fact or at least was once wearing a full sized brief. And that the hungry snatch has begun to eaten them and now working on the skirt leaving this impression of a camel toe that is near impossible to explain otherwise? could this be where her imagination has gone? Oh wait no, she is wearing skorts, silly bitch, who wears those, I mean really, look at the confusion it has caused. Moving on.
Returning to her chair I can't help but notice her bubble butt. I mean who can miss a fantastic bubble butt like this? that's right no one can. Zeus himself nearly came down to tap this ass. I hear he got busy throwing lightning at some children though. They were probably playing on his lawn. Old people hate kids on their lawns. I don't have a lawn. I have a window and a pocket full of dreams. Oh wait no my pocket is empty. That's kind of sad for me. Note to self, fill pocket with dreams when mystery woman person leaves. She sits down and I lean back on my chair as if I have been listening the whole time. I put my hands to my mouth in a pondering type motion and she anticipates my forth coming plans. I have these words of advice to her.
Find your own dreams and sometimes let them find you. Do not think something is lost merely because you cannot find it. Often the things we are missing are not far from our grasp and we just need to open our eyes a little wider to take in the bigger picture. You have not lost your imagination you are just not allowing it to manifest and express itself. Stop trying and let things happen around you, inside you. Having control of all situations before has left you feeling lost and alone when really you are just not listening to yourself. Our imagination really must be a thing of freedom, this a thing of possible beauty so let it live. You can restrict and shape, mould and well some other thing you can do but learn to loosen your grip a little. At this moment you are holding on so tight to what you think you want you are not letting your thoughts think for themselves. Think about it. Right now your mind is as up tight as your skorts are wedged firmly in your snatch. Yes I noticed your snatch.
She cries, and I offer my shoulder. My left shoulder, I mean I hardly know her so no need to go all out for a practical stranger. I whisper in her ear that it is time to go back into the world and experience the freedom of walking down the road and seeing what happens. She paid my fee and left.
Well Luck, that is our first case solved. If I had opened a book we could now close it on this one. Let's buy a book and keep a record of our cases from here in. Note to self, buy book. Until next time, be safe, be cool and remember, I am a nobody in a trench coat, wearing a hat, playing detective and even I can make a difference.