As someone who is a huge fan of Stranger Things, I have seen my fair share of clownery, definitive fuckery if you will, on various social media platforms. While this isnât really anything new, itâs not something that should be normalized at all. Recently, one of my friends, who is also a huge fan of the show, was attacked by a group of Byler shippers because she used an idiom to call out their toxic behavior. When said shippers found out, they mass reported her account for âinciting violenceâ, resulting in it getting permanently suspended. 14 years of tweets, retweets, likes, and media flushed down the drain, all behind a fucking ship.Â
I honestly do not care who anyoneâs favorite character or ship is at this point. Itâs about much more than that. Some Bylers are harming real people with their words and actions, and Iâm not about to fucking stand for it. I know there are other people in the fandom who have also said and done horrible things, but that is a conversation for another day. I really donât have the time nor the patience to deal with a bunch of whataboutisms today. There is absolutely no excuse for these people to act like a bunch of uncultured swines. I donât know how old they were when they realized their parents never truly loved them, but they need to seek professional help instead of trying to live vicariously through two teenage boys. Thereâs nothing cute or quirky about falling down the rabid shipper to prison inmate pipe line.Â
There is a reason why people in this fandom have no sympathy or empathy for Bylers as a whole, and no, it has nothing to do with homophobia. It has everything to do with:
How much they love to play the victim when called out on their bullshit.
How misogynistic and sexist they are towards a certain teenage girl with telekinesis.
Mischaracterizing one half of their precious ship because he doesnât reciprocate his best friendâs feelings.
The way they demonize those who accept what is canon.Â
Their decision to attend conventions for the sole purpose of roping actors into pointless ship wars.Â
Constantly disrespecting the hard work put in by The Duffer Brothers, the writers, and the cast just because they donât like the story that is being told.Â
Willfully misinterpreting the show in an attempt to push the narrative theyâve concocted in their heads, even going as far as to lie or tell half-truths.
The misuse of words that have actual meaning.
Their smug and entitled attitudes.
Whether they realize it or not, people arenât scared of them, theyâre disgusted by them. The way they have burned nearly every bridge in this fandom is astounding. Referring to them as scum of the earth is the least they deserve for the things theyâve subjected other fans to. The fact that they made the conscious decision to censor someone is a telltale sign that they know the jig is up. It also shows how small they are, that their egos are so fucking fragile and their brains are rotted from fetishizing fictional characters. Itâs one thing for them to live on Planet Flarfluga and dream of the day when they can call themselves Mr. or Mrs. Noah Schnapp, all while staying in their lane. Itâs another thing for them to go out of their way to antagonize strangers on the Internet when they refuse to entertain their delusions. If they keep this up, itâs only a matter of time before they catch the right one on the wrong day.
Hi! Just read your post on your thoughts about Byler passing Destiel on Tumblr. I saw that you're Anti-Byler and ship Mileven (Which is totally fine) But I just had a few questions! I'm a Byler but not because I just pick an MLM ship and call it a day, but because from what I've seen from the decisions the Duffer Bros made I don't really know how it'd end without Byler endgame, since it'd be kind of fucked up.
First of all, I think acknowledging that Will is canonically gay is important. None of the other popular MLM ships like Steddie, Destiel, Klance, Johnlock, etc have that (If I'm not mistaken) I really do think that is a huge and important factor to consider!
Not to mention the unresolved plot with the painting and Will indirectly sharing his feelings with Mike. I think if the Duffer Bros wanted Mike to reject Will's feelings, it really makes no sense to drag it out until the next season. In fact, it seems almost cruel and mean and imo is just a shitty way to treat a canon LGBTQ+ character's feelings towards someone of the same sex.
I think had they chosen to let Will share his feelings honestly and be rejected it would be received well. Yeah, it would suck and rejections suck, but it'd leave the next season for them to become close as friends again. Them choosing to make Will hide his feelings from Mike to just further a straight relationship, and then him getting rejected in the very last season is just kinda iffy to me. That isn't even to say Mileven is something I dislike, it's just a shitty way to treat an LGBTQ+ character if you don't have plans on them getting together with the person they're in love with. I think it's honestly valid for people to be upset by that (should they send hate or anything??? absolutely not and I really hope that doesn't happen) and call that out. Queer characters shouldn't be used to further another relationships arc.
So yeah I guess my main question is how do you see them handling the painting plot in the show? Or Will's feelings in general? I'm curious because I haven't asked anyone who was anti-Byler this, and I'm open to dialogue! :) Do you think there is a way for the Duffer's to write it that doesn't use Will's feelings as a device for another relationship?
Also I just wanted to ask in general what you thought about the aftermath of Mike's monologue. Like I said earlier, I've only been a Byler shipper since post S4, and part of it was because of how I just felt like Mileven was just not something that made either Mike or El happy. That's not to say the two don't love each other. I really think they do and that they'll ALWAYS be someone special to one another, however S4 really had me questioning if that was romantic or platonic. I think them not showing El and Mike reuniting after she escaped the mind-fight was odd, and how we didn't get a heart to heart scene at the end of the season. I'd say it's bad writing, but I really don't think Stranger Things is a badly written show. I adore that show and so when I felt like it was the ONLY thing badly written, it made me want to investigate further.
To me, I kinda started viewing them a lot like Steve and Nancy. They had a relationship, and there were cute moments they had with each other. I think they're both great people, but if I've learned anything in life it's that two people can be the most amazing people, but that doesn't mean they're meant to be. Even if Byler becomes endgame I wouldn't solidly swear they were soulmates or meant for each other. I also sometimes see two amazing people but in their relationship they don't bring that out of each other. In S1 I didn't mind Stancy at all, even though Steve was kind of not it, but I think the show was clearly laying out that her and Jonathan just connect on a deeper level. I feel like in S4 I was catching those moments between Byler too. Now, in S4 we also saw Nancy and Steve working together again. I think a lot of the moments were cringy (on Steve's end) but I think it was also to show that they could still be friends after that, and still have a genuine care for each other despite their history.
I don't think a Byler endgame would completely shit on the history of Mileven, because Mike and El will always have a close bond, a bond that's different from Mike and Will. To me, she also didn't look happy in her relationship towards the end of S4. I truly just want what's best for that girl because she deserves the absolute world. She deserves to FEEL love, not just be told it. After everything she's been through, the lack of compassion and empathy by being raised in a lab, she shouldn't have to be confused on if her partner loves her, or feels the same. Trust me when I say that shit can destroy you. The way Mike acted when she brought it up as well was just not it. I understand though that he's 14/15, and it's his first relationship, but it's also El's and at the end of the season to me it looked like she just checked out of that relationship.
I think El's feelings are so so so important to consider, and in general do their love styles mesh well? I think they both were trying to have an ideal and perfect relationship, they both hid things from each other (El hiding all the troubles she has, Mike not talking to her about his nerdy interests or 'childish' things he enjoys). To grow well together, you shouldn't rush to grow up, or act like you're okay when you're not. Part of loving someone is loving the good moments and the bad. I wish I saw that more in them, I wish the Duffers showed more of that if they want them as endgame. To me, there just isn't any Mileven heart to hearts that I can point out. They genuinely don't show these moments and I really think that's a shame.
I really wanted to put my heart into loving Mileven, but at the end of the day I just couldn't, and most of that is for El's sake. And when I considered how Byler was framed in this very same season, I kind of just connected the dots, especially with the whole overarching theme of S4 being about lies (with almost every character in the show). Again I understand why people do like Mileven, it's just they really resonated with early Stancy to me, as well as situations I had in the past, and what I've seen in other shows. Her major arc with Mike this season was not feeling loved by him, and when he finally says it she ignores him??? I guess I just don't get why the Duffers would do that if she felt happy with her relationship and if they want Mileven as an endgame. I'd love to hear your opinions on that! Sorry if this was too long I tend to ramble, and I love just having open discussions about this with people who have diff viewpoints :)
Honestly, I don't like engaging in shipping discourse because I know it's largely futile and can get really ugly, but I'll bite this time. Here's my opinion on the matter: Byler isn't going to be endgame. I do ship Mileven, but even if I didn't, that would still be a fact obvious to anyone who hasn't set out to intentionally misrepresent the entire show. Let me be clear, I don't have any problem with fanon Byler, but I do have a major problem with the people who insist that it's going to be canon despite all evidence otherwise, parrot problematic ideas as "proof," and harass real life people over a fictional ship. That was the behavior that I was criticizing in my post that you referenced. However, since you asked, I'm going to discuss all of the exact reasons why I dislike Byler and all of its supporters' arguments.
To begin, I do acknowledge that Will being canonically gay makes Byler different. In my experience. the Byler fandom doesn't have the same fetishization and sexualization problem that plagues many other non-canon ships, which I appreciate. (Also my post may have made it seem like I was specifically calling out gay ships even though that was not my intention. We've seen the same behavior I was worried about with het ships. Think Zutara, for example). I also acknowledge that one-sided Byler is canon, and I think that anyone who didn't pick up on that needs a lesson in media literacy. However, I don't think that the comparison to Steddie or Destiel that I made is unfair because the extreme shippers exhibit the same dubious media analysis methods that characterize the metas of many popular non-canon ships. I'm going to list three things that they commonly do that I think is poor critical analysis (this is not exhaustive list by any means):
First, finding "parallels" between characters. These shippers often claim that similarities between canon couples and their ship is evidence that their ship is canon. There are a couple problems with this. First, it just draws attention to how the creators intentionally frame romantic couples, which generally disproves the point that the shippers want to make, and second, often these parallels involve oversimplification of the events happening. One in the Byler fandom is claiming that the Steve/Nancy/Jonathan love triangle "parallels" El/Mike/Will so Mike and El will break up and Mike will end up with Will. This take ignores how their situations and characters are entirely different. Jonathan and Steve in s1 were intentional foils of each other which meant that Nancy's choice between them was also an ideological one. There has been no such set up for Mileven vs. Byler so far in canon. Also, Stancy and Mileven got together for very different reasons which again doesn't support the fact that they're supposed to narratively parallel each other. Some people claim that the "you don't love me fights" are a parallel, and they may be partially right, but it was more to demonstrate that the Wheeler siblings both have problems sharing their feelings, and Mike shows initiative to work out the disagreement while Nancy just gets defensive, so it reads more to me as saying "they have a similar problem but dealt with it differently," which only supports Mileven more in my opinion.
Another one is the most frustrating thing I've ever heard a Byler shipper say which is the Dr. Brenner and Mike "parallels" that Byler shippers use to claim that Mileven is "toxic." Yes, they both mention flying, that is a "parallel," but claiming that means they are similar requires a gross disregard for the entire context of their statements. Dr. Brenner tells El that she can't go save her friends because she'll "need to fly." During the monologue, Mike tells her that she "can fly." They're saying the opposite thing! The point is that Dr. Brenner breaks her down while Mike brings her up! It is intended to show that Dr. Brenner and Mike are different! Claiming that "parallel" is evidence for why Mileven should break up requires egregious misinterpretation of the show and its core themes.
Secondly, there is the use of nonexistent symbolism to prove a ship. It's very prevalent, think of the many "red and blue" couples across tumblr. Byler has its own version with the "blue and yellow" symbolism where people claim that Byler is supported by the fact that Mike wore blue and Will wore yellow in s4. That just isn't actually a thing, I'm sorry. ST has never before used color to indicate romantic feelings and certainly has never shown the blue and yellow combination to be of any significance, aside from the mention of "blue meets yellow" in the Russian code in s3. And even for that there is no reason to believe that it has any sort of shipping significance, especially when its meaning has already been given in the show, and it had nothing to do with shipping. In fact, the one time when color is called is out is a Mileven scene where Mike says that El's favorite colors are yellow and purple while wearing yellow and purple.
Third is using ambiguous or subjective things such as facial expressions to prove their point. I've seen countless screenshots of Mike looking at Will accompanied by "people don't look at their friends like that." When they do??? In Western society it's generally considered polite to look at people when they're talking so it isn't necessarily romantic to look at someone for a long time when they're having a conversation. And the thing is that ST shows how people look at each other when they're in love with someone. Will does it! They very clearly show him "gazing" and linger on it. If Mike's looks were meant to be indicative of the same feelings they would have been given the same cinematic treatment.
Those are just three things that makes me think that Bylers don't have much ground to stand on as far as their predictions go. There are countless other metas that use the same dubious interpretation techniques in an attempt to prove their ship, even though the actual text makes it clear that it isn't going to be canon.
ST is just not a show that's subtle with its romance. For example, Jancy in s1 had moments where they discussed love and flirted with each other. Mike and Will have just never had those. They don't gaze into each other's eyes or talk about romance unless it's Mike talking about El. Will and Mike have just never been framed in the same way that romantic couple on the show are, and their relationship has never been indicated to be beyond friendship. Mike doesn't treat Will any differently from how he treats Lucas or Dustin, so I'm not convinced that he has romantic feelings for Will.
As for my predictions for how Will's storyline will continue, I personally think that the painting plotline is over, at least in regards to Will's crush on Mike. Maybe it'll be referenced, but it'll probably have to do more with the symbolic D&D team aspect than the hidden confession thing. When it comes to the painting scene, I think that some Byler shippers don't understand that, despite being the object of Will's affections, Mike actually doesn't matter that here because it's ultimately about Will dealing with his feelings and working to accept himself. The point of the painting scene was to clue Jonathan in on what was happening. Jonathan was then the one to comfort Will in the next episode. Ultimately, Mike has surprisingly little to do with Will's sexuality arc despite being the one he's in love with. This is just me, but I think that a purely ship-centric reading of the events really devalues it.
At this point in canon, Will is not in a place to share his feelings yet-- that's the whole point of it. He needed to talk to his brother and be reassured that there was nothing wrong with him. I've read tons of Byler meta on how Mike supposedly has internalized homophobia, but shockingly few people address how in actual canon Will is the one struggling with it. He's keeping his feelings secret because he's scared. Will has been bullied for being gay since before he even knew what that meant! His father called him slurs when he was a young child! Viewers also have to understand that ST is set in the '80s, a time where being gay was much less commonly accepted, not to mention that Hawkins is a conservative small town. People need to take into account the immense amounts of homophobia that Will has faced for his entire life before they complain that he hadn't yet vocalized his sexuality in s4. Will has so much trauma relating to his sexuality, it's understandable that he's not going to come out yet. I personally think that people claiming that Will's s4 plotline was "problematic" really missed the core message of it. It's really strange that Jonathan can tell Will that there's nothing wrong with him and that he will be loved no matter what, and people acted like that was a loss!
I'm not exactly sure what the writers are going to do with Will's plotline. I'm pretty certain that he's going to come out, even if it's just to Jonathan and Joyce, but I honestly don't think that Mike will have much more to do with it than Will's other friends. Remember: Mike isn't actually all that important in this story line! It isn't about him, it's about Will's journey to self-acceptance. Will will move on and be perfectly fine.
As an aside, I think that the whole "using a queer character to further a straight relationship" angle is a really unfair one. It completely misrepresents what actually happened in the show. It's not like Will being gay was the catalyst that made Mileven get together-- they did that on their own before Will's sexuality was even a major part of the plot. What actually happened in canon was that Will comforted his friends who was having relationship insecurities. Like Mike is not just the guy that Will is in love with, he's Will's best friend, and Will considers El to be his sister. He'd have helped them regardless of his feelings for Mike because he cares about them. I just think that it's a bit disingenuous to imply that having Will be a good friend was "using a gay character to further a straight ship." Lucas helped Mike and El resolve their conflict in s3 and no one said anything negative about that. That whole framing just reeks of willful misinterpretation of the actual events of the show in an attempt to cement Byler as the ship with the moral high ground. I'm sorry, but I refuse to call someone homophobic for simply giving us a realistic, if brutally honest, coming-out plotline for a character living in a conservative town in the 1980s. So yeah, my response to the "without using Will's feelings as a device" question is that they'll just keep doing what they've been doing because they've literally never done that.
As for why I think Mileven will be endgame, it's that they have shown a consistent desire to stay together. They have had conflict, but they always show that they want to work things out. Their romantic relationship has been built up since s1, and it'd make no sense to backtrack on that in the last season, especially after ending s4 with a big love confession. All of the marketing surrounding Mike and El has stated that they're a romantic couple, and it would make no sense to suddenly reverse that for the last season. It'd also be in really poor taste to reveal that Mike was actually using El and lying to her the whole time because he was actually in love with Will, and it would reflect really badly on Will if he were willing to date someone who'd do that to his sister.
Additionally, the Duffer brothers like Mileven. If was part of the original plan for the series and was set up from the beginning with s1. The also stated that they loved the monologue and praised Finn Wolfhard's acting during that scene, I highly doubt that they've been masterminding an entire plan to make Byler endgame when everything they've said and done in the show indicates that they've always planned for Mileven to become and stay a romantic couple.
Also, I disagree with the fact that not showing them having a heart to heart after the confession means that their relationship is on rocky ground. ST has, in every season, cut from just after the end of the action to an epilogue set a bit in the future. It's really unfair to say that when there should've been no expectation for such a conversation to happen. And while El wasn't talking in the epilogue, she wasn't talking to anyone and the reason is that she's sad about how she lost and failed to save Max. She still accepts Mike's comfort, so I think it's a reach to say that El has "checked-out" of their relationship based on what we've seen. Especially since Mike mentions that they have talked since the monologue scene, it just happened offscreen.
Additionally, I disagree that El's "main arc" was how she didn't feel loved by Mike. Her main arc was confronting Dr. Brenner and realizing that she wasn't "the monster." Her perception of her relationship with Mike was affected by this particular insecurity, but yet again, this isn't about Mike. This is about El and accepting herself. This yet again ignores that fact that they resolve their issues by the end of s4. Mike confesses his love! El already knew that he loved her because of s3, she just felt insecure. That's a perfectly normal thing and doesn't mean that they don't work well together. (I also don't know where you got the idea that Mike can't tell her about nerdy stuff because he literally does??? more than one time since s1???). I think that you're failing to realize that, yes, even though they aren't perfect, they always try to work things out when they do have problems. It ultimately comes down to this: El loves Mike and wants to be with him, and claiming that she doesn't actually know her own feelings or what she wants is a pretty terrible thing to say.
To add on to that, the whole "El should be single for her own sake" argument against Mileven smacks of misogyny and ableism. Many people claim that El is just "confused" about Mike and is only with him because she thinks she should be, stating that her traumatic and isolated childhood makes her incapable of understanding what romantic love is. Anyone who doesn't find this reasoning problematic should do some serious self-reflection. (And this isn't even mentioning the people who equate her way of speaking to emotional immaturity or unintelligence which is hugely problematic and completely ableist). There's also the fact that many of the people saying this horrible rhetoric also adamantly ship Byler, because, apparently, Will is exempt from the "people need to heal from their trauma before being in a relationship" rule. People are quick to devalue female characters who want to have romantic love, touting "independence" as what's best for them, often ignoring the entire context of the relationships they're discussing. El has independence, she's been forced to take care of herself alone, her entire journey has been finding love. Her romantic feelings for Mike, whether you like it or not, are a major part of that arc, and ignoring or claiming that they don't exist is a gross injustice to both of their characters.
While on the topic of ignoring a character's agency, people also do this to Mike. It's clear that he loves her. He was miserable throughout s2 when he thought he'd lost her. He's said that he loves El twice: once in s3 and once to her face in s4. I just don't understand the urge to minimize that. There is no reason to think that he's lying, so why don't people believe him? It seems like people want to deliberately twist his words to fit their ship. I've noticed a disturbing tendency among Byler shippers to treat Mike as a sort of trophy, claiming that Will "deserves" to be with Mike after all that he's been through. This is an extremely harmful mindset to have, along with the claim that Mike really does secretly want to be with Will deep down despite him saying otherwise. It is concerning how frequently those ideas are thrown around by certain shippers, especially when you consider how harmful that type of rhetoric is.
That's basically why I don't ship Byler and why I don't think it's going to be endgame. I'd also be remiss if I didn't mention the terrible behavior of the really extreme Byler shippers. They've made fake Mileven blogs that post homophobic things, and harassed people through asks, harassed people involved with the show, and have generally shown a lack of regard for fandom etiquette. I know that it's only a minority of them, but that behavior was what my earlier post was referring to. It's just really frustrating, as a Mileven shipper, to be called crazy and homophobic and other horrible things just because I want a couple who has been framed as romantic throughout the entire show to stay in a romantic relationship. Many Mileven shippers, especially on Tumblr, are queer and are extremely hurt when they're called homophobic for no reason. It's also extremely disrespectful to relate actual homophobia that real people experience to something as inconsequential as fictional characters kissing. Shipping is not a form of social advocacy and treating it as such is harmful. When it comes down to it, I don't really care about what people ship, it's the entitled behavior and constant rhetoric and the desperation to prove that everyone who disagrees with them is either unintelligent, "delusional," or morally inferior that makes me mad.
I guess I'll end this by saying that Byler is not going to be endgame, but that has literally no affect on your ability to enjoy it. Like I ship Stonathan even though there's no chance of it happening whatsoever. I just think it's nice. It's really not that deep. If you like Byler, good for you! There's no need twist canon, misrepresent the show to justify it. Just have fun with it! That's what fandom is all about!
Gosh, this was a monster of a post; it took me about a week to write! I'd like to give a very big thank you to the wonderful @lenorahills for helping me edit this post and brainstorm all of the points I wanted to make. The help was invaluable!
His storyline in season 5 will likely be coming out to the people he trust (His mom, brother, Robin probably figure it out by herself) and to to also move on from his childhood crush.
Eleven is the main character, with the heart if The Party beating besides her.
If I see one more fucking post saying shit like "oh so Mike's best day was when will went missing" "oh so his life started the day will went missing huh" im going to cry blood
First of fucking all
1. Will goes missing on the 6th of November 1983. They find el in the woods on the 7th. Those are not the same fucking days. Ye either forgot that shit or ur blatantly lying.
Second of all
2. He does not say "omg my best day ever was around the time will went missing đđ " like ye are making it out to be. He is saying that's when his life started. Which is true. His life completely changed when el came into his life. That's when all the characters lives completely changed. Not that what he is saying is even about will which brings me to my next point.
3. This is literally not about will. Its about using words of affirmation to prevent the girl he loves from fucking dying.
Also another point mike has already stated that his best day was the day him and will became friends. Mike throughout the show states will is his best friend. He loves him. He is just not attracted to him in the way will or ye want him to be. So please stop spreading this bs everywhere cause I'm tired of correcting ye.
The war is going on. And I see less and less attention about it. It's not the time to say that you care, you have to show it. You have to boost it. You have to make a change right now or it will be too late.
People became distracted. They talk about the oscars, they talk about usual life and everything about it. But I want everyone to see this, to see what's happening behind their backs, and what could happen to them if russia wins:
This is Olha Suhenko. She and her husband were kidnapped by russian troops because she was an administrator of her village Motyzhin. Their bodies were found 10 days later, killed by the russian occupiers.
Here are photos of the mines and other weaponry russian troops left behind. Our peaceful cities are dangerous because of the mines. People are afraid to open the doors of their homes after coming back from evacuation, because russians left bombs tied to the doors.
I don't even want to say what the russians did to these women. They rape 10yo girls in Mariupol, they don't care who they catch.
Here are some pictures of a once safe and prosperous town near Kyiv.
Please, boost this post. Tag it under any tags you can remember, fandom tags, popular tags, anything. I want the world to see what russia and the indifference of others do to innocent people.
russia won't stop. They crave the war. They protest against stopping the war. If we lose, everyone else is in danger. This could be your home. Please, don't be indifferent.
My dad has agreed to do a Star Wars in order marathon with me. Not just the movies but all of it! Clone Wars, Rebels, Bad Batch, live action. At least one piece of Star Wars content per weekend, probably more once we hit the series. A lot of it, Iâve never watched either.
We donât live in the same state anymore and so see each other less than either would probably like. Iâm so excited to do this with him.
And it culminates with a September trip to Disney World (already one of my longstanding happy places but he hasnât been in 20 years) that finishes with us doing the Star Wars hotel experience together.
Time with our parents is precious and unfortunately finite, at least on this plane. So I am so happy I get to do something so silly but meaningful with him. :) :) :)
I am terrified I am watching the start of World War III. Germany invaded Poland back in 1939, promised theyâd stop, and went back on it. If Russia does the same. If Russia attacks a NATO alliance country. Then the world goes to war. And no where has strong democratic leaders right now. There is no Churchill in the UK (heâs controversial, I know, but he did lead the UK through WWII). The US does not have FDR, and we have a wannabe Putin in the wings. Macron is ok, but he isnât DeGaulle.
âThe Goblin King was prepared to host the Darkness, stealing Fae women away to their corrupted lands underneath the ground as concubines. The Darkness chose another in his stead, but not before this selected vessel enacted a devastating attack in its vengeance, revealing its hatred & rage. The battle was a lesson the old kings had forgotten; never underestimate an opponent.
Many more lives were lost as they razed over any who dared defy The Goblin Kingâs will. Only the pure love of our rulers united in matrimony, breaking the Vorpal Dagger, sealed the darkness and the Goblin menace away. The light flourished under their fair rule, and the queen bore a child as pure as moon beams, swan feathers, and starlight. They lived happily ever after, and shall be written in history as Heroes for All Time.â
This is the history Princess Emma memorizes from the day she is born, paraded about and presented only with the highest protection. The palace is a cage she wishes to escape, desperately. Not careful what wishes she made, Emma discovers history is written by the victors - The Dark One has an entirely different version of the events that took place.
Read on AO3 here.
Rated E for explicit themes, Mature situations, and Fae fuckery.
Written for @cssns
Chapter 23 - In which the Darkness wins.
It was a long trek to the Dwarves cave that they guessed rested at the top of a tall peak, hiking being the only option unless they were to use their magic and alert the Goblin scouts. It was a difficult hike; steep and lengthy, the terrain becoming rougher as they rose, and the air becoming frigid.
They made good time, their silence rarely broken by either of them. Emma walked occasionally, but her exhaustion was clear, and Killian could see her demoralization. They had no clothes or rations, the damp wood in the cold forest making even a fire challenging. Both of them were dressed for the heat of Agrabah and its surroundings which made the temperature that much worse, Emma's softened leather slippers quickly becoming sodden in the leaf litter.
Higher still they climbed, resting together in huddled warmth. Emma occasionally let herself weep into his chest as he tried in vain to comfort her, her shoulders shaking in the chill even after she had quieted. She fell asleep in his arms as they neared the peak, the view of the Baelfire ruins, forgotten Fae villages, and his home in the rotting Blackwater Keep on full display. A craggy outcropping jutted out in front of them, making up the summit, glyphs on its curved walls. He tentatively stepped forward, watching the pictographs glow a pale gold. The path narrowed ahead into a pitch black expanse.
"Who goes there?" a voice called, echoing out at him in a whoosh. "Who lurks in the ruins of the old world, and what do they seek?"
"Please, we need help," Killian called out, his voice repeating in the cold cavern. "We seek sanctuary, please -"
"Killian?" a voice called, familiar and hopeful. "Is that - Killian is that you? And Emma?"
The light of a torch illuminated far below, and Killian took a surprised step back, curling Emma's sleeping form further into him. A sheer drop was only a few inches in front of him, a winding stone staircase starting to his immediate left. Below, on one of the many curves, Anna and Ingrid looked up at them with surprised glee.
Emma was dreaming the strangest dream. She was sitting in a plush armchair, completely chilled to the bone, but Killian sat in it with her whispering lowly to others she could not see.
"That should fit her, but it may be loose around her waist, she's built petitely." He fidgeted slightly at a reply that sounded as if it was underwater, and Emma felt his heartbeat quicken. "I've - it's complicated, but I've seen
There was a squealed giggle that sounded familiar, her brows furrowing as sleep gave way to thought.
"We had bets on you, you know. I watched how you looked at her, so much like you did with Milah. I'm happy for you, Killian. I'm proud of you, too."
"I honestly never thought I could ever let go of Milah, or find any feelings other than darkness again. Find love again - I⊠What I mean isâŠ"
"You don't have to explain. Like I said, I can see it. The Darkness doesn't hold you like it did." There was a sound, a chair scraping on the floor. "When she wakes and is dressed, tell her to come see us. We can all wash up together, and I'll see that you get some more candles, and some bedding."
"Thank you, Ingrid. It's such a relief to see that you are alright, and -"
"We have time yet to talk. Get changed, and get some rest," Ingrid said, Emma's imagination strong. "And Killian?"
"Yes?"
"You did good here."
Killian chuckled, his chest vibrating. She had begun to warm up in the dream, and could hear a hearth crackle somewhere to her right. Opening her eyes, she saw Killian peering down at her over a mountain of quilts he had wrapped around her body.
"I'm glad you are awake. I was just arguing with Ingrid and Anna about them undressing you."
"They're - They're really here?"
"Yes, love. They're really here." Killian smiled at her, stroking her cheek as Emma began to cry. "They're safe, and they help run the scullery here. They quite like it, as a change of pace."
Emma sniffed, trying to make her mouth cooperate. "And - they're alright?" she choked out, before blubbering into another shaky sob.
"Aye. Kristoff is with them still, and they've met good Fae here. They truly enjoy helping others, especially since others have been pouring in since a certain duo began trying to get the princess home safely." He motioned between them, the smirk on his lips almost sheepish.
Emma blinked, shaking her head. "I don't understand, what -"
"Emma, you have radicalized so many of the Fae here with your deeds. Merlin is here, Ursula, Triton, Ariel, Tink and Wendy - they're all telling your story, and your ideas for equity. Haku and Chihiro are here too, serving as envoys for Selune, Pan's death freed hundreds of thralls, Selkies and Mermaids have been working together⊠There are many more others who have heard tales secondhand. They all want to meet you . They want to meet the one who reformed the Dark One."
"But⊠I don'tâŠ" Emma trailed off, pulling from him, and out of his reach. The cold hit her in full force, and she shivered. "Killian I don't⊠I didn't - "
"It's fantastic. I think we could mount a defense with this, or perhaps we could infiltrate the castle to steal away prisoners -"
"Killian!" Emma shouted, surprising herself. He blinked, looking at her and her shaking hands.
"You're - oh, love, you're cold," he whispered, helping her to wrap another blanket around her shoulders. "They gave you clothes, so we can get you out of these wet ones -"
"Where are we? What is this sanctuary called?"
"The Lair of Untold Stories. A place created by Queen Snow's - er⊠Your mother's parents, to serve the Goblins. It's a cave that is infinite; they would have never needed to fight the Fae."
Her head spun, temples pounding, a low hiss of voices in her skull beginning as if her ear was to a shell. Why had the Goblins fought if they had a safe harbor? "But then -"
"I know. Something happened with your father's father, the old King N'lan. The deal fell through, and it's been a royal safe haven ever since. Well, maybe not royal , but for nobles and courtiers who needed it."
"I really justâŠ" Emma held her head in her hand, trying to hold back her tears and fatigue. Her magic felt as if it was raw as it coursed through her veins, the hum of droning whispers as if she was before a hushed court as they waited on her words. Her heart beat thundered with the same anxiety, her tongue too big and throat squeezing tight. "I haven't led anyone, all we have done is flee⊠I don't want to be made out to be some folk hero!"
Killian nodded, his shoulders falling. "OK. Why don't we get changed and get some rest. I'll fill you in on what's going on tomorrow."
Emma bit her lip and nodded, turning to look at the pale green muslin dress. Stripping down while Killian waited outside, she called him in when she had the dress on. He had also removed his wet clothing, but had replaced them with brown trousers and a linen shirt that was loosely tucked in under where suspenders might usually hang. He looked lighter, as if the Darkness wasn't lurking behind his boyish grin at her, his hand raking back dark hair.
The whispering she had only faintly made out before seemed to grow louder once more, and she shuddered slightly.
"You look soâŠ" Emma whispered, unsure why she could not make herself relax despite how deeply exhausted she was.
"I look what, Swan? I admit it's strange to be wearing something that isn't a kaftan after Agrabah. This is only slightly less comfortable, at least." He touched the shirt, rubbing it between his fingers. Emma felt sick, the mention of Agrabah like a punch to the gut. Killian did not seem to notice, still excited by the conversation he had earlier. "Things here, though, have gone mad, and our exploits have become legendary to say the least."
Emma shook her head. Her breathing would not come evenly, panic enveloping her. Killian looked at her with a gentle smile she averted her still wet eyes from.
"Come on, let's get you to bed." She stood, but made no move before Killian scooped her up in his arms, pressing kisses to her forehead. He dropped her gently on the bed, the plush mattress pulling a moan from her lips as he slid next to her. "I'm sorry you have had so much dropped on you today."
"That's the thing," Emma turned on her side, watching him intently. "I used to be able to handle things with ease. I delegated tasks, I could command guard squads, I knew so much protocol - this shouldn't be a lot, but it is . Every bit of it is so hard. I feel off balance; I am completely off kilter as if all my training was for nothing. I don't know what to do, or how to meet these people, let alone lead them!"
Emma began to shake again, eyes shutting tight as she rolled away from him, curling into herself. Killian pressed himself to her back, whispering words she couldn't hear over the blood rushing in her ears. Immediately she felt as if she had to move; she had to be doing something or she would scream. Sitting up and standing abruptly, her body still vibrating, she paced the floor furiously.
"Love, you need to -" Killian said, rising slowly.
"What!? What do I need to do? What can I possibly - what could I possibly -" Her breath could not enter her lungs, body falling to a tingling numbness. "You can't know - It's too much, it's all - "
Letting herself flop back in a chair, she pulled her legs up tightly to her face. Blocking Killianâs voice along with the roar of thoughts pressing down on her, she slowly began to rock until warm arms encircled her shaking body.
Emma swayed, Killian watching as he tried to untangle himself from the bed sheets, but she stepped further away as a panic attack hit her. When he tried to speak to her, she was unresponsive, gone to him and her surroundings. She shook in his arms when he simply held her, tightly tucking herself into him with a strained moan.
He knew that she was overwhelmed, exhausted to the point of breaking, but watching her finally pass the point of no return into physical ailments was difficult to see. Her trauma turned battle shock wasn't surprising in any case, to him - but people here were expecting a warrior queen who mercilessly destroyed her enemies. What would happen if she couldn't please her so-called subjects? How long would understanding abide when war was what many of this carved out niche had been baptized in? His enthusiasm was, and had been, misplaced to say the least.
"We should have gotten you a bath first, anyway," Killian mumbled, standing with her in his hold. The hot springs that sprung from the bottom of the caves would be a safe place for her to warm in comfort without fear. Emma muttered a tired and unintelligible reply, but shivered in his grasp again as he descended down the carved tunnels.
Curving into one of the steamy corridors, he sat Emma on a rock hewn shelf that sat before an open pool of bright blue water. Torches burned merrily, heated rocks lay under towels to warm them, the room's steam scented with pine, moss, mint, and oak. Helping her to move her stiff limbs as she stared into the nothingness, he pulled her from her clothes so she could dip herself into the pool. Her sigh of relief was music to his ears.
"I'm sorry. You just got over being ill, the trek here was miserable, and you are more than deserving of relief after everything." Killian dipped his feet, both watching the grime rinse off of them. Passing her a block of thick cut soap, pine needles, cloves, and some type of red berry dotting the top, Emma did not acknowledge the roughness of its ingredients. As soon as it touched her hands, she clutched it tight, beginning to scrub herself vigorously. Her pink skin was already flushed from the heat, but Killian watched as she absently rubbed it raw. "HereâŠ"
Taking it from her, he pulled a soft rag from his pocket for her to use instead. Emma did not regard him, her gaze distant. At his nudging, she scooted forward to allow him to begin cleaning her hair.
"They say that your grandfather and my own built this place in secret together, for the Goblins to use before the war. My mother's father, and your mother's father." Killian felt Emma's body shift, her head turning slightly to allow her to hear better, and for his fingers to break away the dirt, sand, sweat, and grime that were caked into her scalp. "I plan to explore more of what this place was meant to be, why the Goblins needed it, and why they refused it while we're here. We might find something; for example, these springs are enchanted by some sort of long lost Elder God. They follow a curved spiral down forever into thermal vents, but stay the perfect temperature for the bather. They could potentially be blessed. We simply don't know, as all information about this place and Goblin history is - "
"GoneâŠ" Emma whispered. The faint interruption made him blink, the princess pulling away to go completely underwater briefly. She came back up, looking at him pointedly. "Do you think that the God that made these is still alive?"
"Probably not. The precursor to the war was the majority of the Old Gods being killed by Fae and Mortals alike. You know the way immortality works for us. 'Impunity, not immortality'. We can be killed, but we do not die."
"What do you think makes usâŠ" She trailed off, thinking for a moment and chewing her lip. "What qualifies as a soul?"
"The thing that somehow escapes when the body is too irreparably broken, and goes somewhere else that feels far better than this world."
Emma looked at him quizzically, her head turning to the side. "Better than this world? Why do you think that?"
"I've been close to death enough times where I feel it trying its damnedest to pull me away. Every time, in that brief span that is not much more than a second passing, I go somewhere else."
"Somewhere⊠else," Emma repeated, slowly.
It haunted him, the place just outside his grasp. The air tasted sweet, a balmy sunshine rested on his skin and pain melted away, but it was lost all too soon. The Darkness would cackle, torment him with belief of an afterlife he would never obtain. Its curse meant to be damned in all ways, on earth and in hell after. His curse was to be alone but for what he hosted, never to reunite with those he had so betrayed.
"Yes."
And I won't let you forget. You will never see your brother, your mother, Elsa, Milah, and your lovely little trifle of a princess when she dies either. You'll go straight to all the others who hosted the Darkness before you, bound to us eternally -
"Killian!" Emma interrupted the Darkness whispering in his mind, clearing it away as a breeze would smoke.
"Hm?" He looked toward her, but her eyes were still downcast looking anywhere else.
"I said, why did you stay?" Emma asked, her voice small. "You could have - Liam, the other Liam, was - he could have taken it and you could have been free of the Darkness. You could have gone to that somewhere to be with Elsa, and Milah, and Liam; you should have -"
"I can't, that's not how it would have worked," Killian managed to grit out, his temper flaring. "Even if I could be free of this curse, it's not as if the dead would welcome me with open arms when I'm the one who -"
"I know Liam would have, I know Elsa and Milah would have. Why would you stay? Why would you -"
"Emma, I couldn't leave you! Even if I could have, I couldn't just -"
"Why not? All of these people are going to die because of me, because of us; we don't deserve to be any sort of folk legend. I just - we haven't done anything but survive and I can't save them, I can't save -" Magic flared around her in an incandescent swirl, sending droplets of water flying everywhere, water sloshing up and over the side of the pool. She shook, trembling, fingers gripping the wet rock hard enough to make them go white. "I had all that power. I still feel remnants of it, like an echo, I still feel it trying to worm its way further into me. I could feel it try to pull the life from people, and how it rushed to heal your brother. It wants to escape so badly and I can't - I couldn't let it. Too much life or light is blinding too, and I can't lead or be some hero. I can't even control myself as it is."
"Emma, no one is expecting you to -"
"Stop," Emma interrupted, in a firm whisper. "Don't lie to me. After everything, after every awful thing we've been through, don't you dare lie to me now."
They sat in silence, Emma finally staring at him, the dirt washed clean from her. The water was once again a pale milky blue, her hair floating like golden thread over the surface.
"When we were on Selune -"
"No, no Killian, " She grimaced. "Don't."
"Just listen, aye? Please," Killian reached out, offering his hand. She took it, letting him pull her from the water and into a towel. Sitting next to him, she laid her wet head on his shoulder. "When we were on Selune, I was reading all those books, trying to find a cure for the Darkness, or a way to be free of it. I couldn't find one. There isn't one."
Letting himself swallow, hard, he continued as he felt her burrow closer to him.
"There was quite a bit of lore about what the opposition to the Darkness was. The Dragons and Kitsune both had a theory of balance they called 'Yin and Yang'. Darkness and Light. Sun and Moon. Life and Death for all things. Too much of one is to have no equilibrium." He drew on the cave floor with a wet finger, a circle cut in half with two smaller circles inside."Light and Dark need each other to survive, and they depend on each other. We all should have equal amounts inside of us, but you and I have so muchâŠ"
Emma took his hand, swiping away the drawing. When he intertwined his fingers in her still shaking hands, she lifted her head to kiss his cheek.
"Get in." She pushed him gently with a rock of her body, stretching so her toes dipped into the water. "Let me wash your hair so we can go to bed. We - We finally have a chance to talk about everything, and I think - No. I know I need it."
"I don't need -" Killian felt himself blushing, suddenly very much aware of how nude she was in comparison to his state of dress. She held up a hand with a weary roll of her eyes.
"I have seen all of you, and you've seen all of me. Don't get me wrong, I do want to, well, you know," Emma's cheeks reddened, her hands combing through her hair in nervousness as she began to chew her lip. "But not now. Everything right now is just⊠I want to be present, or I mean - just not now."
Killian felt his mouth go dry as he swallowed hard, nodding in understanding. He shed his borrowed shirt but left the breeches on as he lowered himself into the water. The initial chill helped calm any ideas his body might have of betraying him, especially as Emma's hands began to work on his scalp. Relaxing into her touch, he eventually gazed up at her to see a watery smile forming on her face.
"Love, it's going to be alright, I know it. If we just -"
"We finally have a chance to talk, so please let me try," Emma rasped. Turning in her hold to face her, he lifted one arm to rest on her thighs, propping himself to lean on the other. "I'm sorry about the suitors in Agrabah; none of it would have happened if I hadn't gotten sick, and if -"
"None of that would have happened if I hadn't thrown away that Kitsune medicine, so please." He rose from the water easily, wrapping a towel around his waist. By the entrance, robes had appeared. Giving one to Emma as he dried her tears with the pad of his thumb, he shrugged his own on. "You don't need to apologize. It's alright, it's -"
"I do, I do because - Because I did the rites, I'm the reason you had to take it from Chihiro and Haku at all, which is why you didn't trust them -"
Killian shook his head, clucking his tongue. "You wouldn't have been in that bloody isle at all, if I hadn't let you go in the woods, or if I had just gone after you sooner when you went to Ursula's." Holding her shoulders in each palm, he flashed a smile that reached his own misty eyes. "I have wanted to tell you what torture that was. Going to Tink and Wendy, then through Marta - I could have tracked you to the Selkies, I was so worried -"
Emma laughed despite the tears running down her face, gently laying her hand on his cheek to guide his lips to her own. Her voice sounded desperate, even with clear feeling behind it, and her wide smile. "Don't worry, I'm a survivor."
Her mouth met his, slanted over both of their soft laughter and matching grins. Killian responded enthusiastically, but after what was far too brief of a moment, forcibly yanked himself away from her. His head spun, and he stood quickly, the heat of her touch threatening to ignite his body to blazing. Emma looked at him with tired but amused annoyance, sighing as she stood to lean on him again. She yawned, humming when his arm wrapped around her to guide them back to their quarters.
"You have to rest, darling. Back to bed." Emma nodded again, immediately laying down as soon as the bed was close enough for her to flop down onto. She had to be incredibly tired; she barely noticed when he slid in next to her after blowing out the candle. With his thumb, he traced away the pinch of her brow, watching her face relax in peaceful slumber. They could stay like this forever, if he had his way. Warm, her body pressed against his subtly with no disrespect to her station other than propriety.
Her hand pulled his over her stomach, where he laid it heavily as she wiggled closer in her sleep. It was a glorious torture to bear, and Gods he happily denied any mercy. Part of him acknowledged that he was still afraid to touch her fully, the Darkness twittering in its cage as he followed her into dreaming.
You will lose her. You will kill her.
There is no ending in sight that does not end in tragedy.
Watching you be her undoing, and the catalyst that sparks our rule shall be so much fun.
It was torture. Being with Killian as he pressed against her, the spark from Henry causing a magic induced little voice to whisper in her head; her fear and her exhaustion of being praised for perceived victories that did not exist.
The days came one after the other. A steady routine formed, consisting of Emma relearning her careful mask, the exhausting effort of being back on her pedestal making her want to weep. The bows, the curtsies, the announcement of royalty or nobility she had never heard of who had gone into hiding - every bit of her placid smile was vacant. Meetings in the morning and early evening after meals, baths and small moments of reflection in the stone corridors.
It was with the strangest sense of numbness that deja vu formed. New faces and old blurred together, the joy of seeing Wendy, Tink, Ursula, Ariel, Marta, and Triton (now smaller, and all on wobbly legs, led by Marta), Merlin - they were all situated in the caves. Their expectations made the already enclosed space claustrophobic.
They planned as a group, or tried to - more often two parties began arguing over their ideas with no real resolution. Emma could not find the energy to make choices that seemed so trivial, Killian and Ingrid usually settling disputes.
Sleep refused to come at night, and Emma found herself unable to eat, the feeling of food in her stomach too heavy. It made her feel sick, her body not her own anymore either. Nothing belonged to her, but she belonged to everyone. Part of her wished sorely for her mother, and for the answers to questions that lay at her feet. It felt too much, the eyes on her and the unknowns of just being in this carved out space. Killian had researched the creation of the caves, but no mention of Goblins had been found, nor did they know when the inevitable beginning of the siege on them would be.
"It's the damnedest thing, I mean," Killian had chuckled with a sweeping gesture at the walls of books, hewn into the rock. "I can find hundreds of entries for the little known King Talmut II, son of Heblop, whose contribution to our history is velvet braiding in beards - but nothing about Goblins. It's as if everything about them is missing, or destroyed. It could be that they keep a verbal history or their own books, but even then that seems bizarre fitting their⊠er. Propensity for violence over more literary achievements. There's mentions of an Emberamber mine in these caves, but the network goes on forever. No one has found it, and it was probably destroyed long ago if it ever even existed in the first place."
Emma had nodded, the words not processing properly, even after she had pushed around her dinner until it was unrecognizable. It tasted like ash. Everything tasted like ash when another realm burned at her expense.
Even their friends seemed to be oblivious to her distress. They were too excited to see her and talk about what happened over how much Emma simply desired to sleep all day. Killian would bring them over to see her, growing slowly more aware that she wasn't alright. Emma felt bad for how she took away his time in planning sessions; his aptitude for tactics and defensive strategies had earned him a mighty amount of respect from the Dwarves. Killian assured her that staying with her was more important for both her and his well-being, and on many occasions the Dwarvesâ own physical well-being when they pressed his patience. The Darkness was under much better control, and Emma felt herself slipping into a dark of her own, as much as she tried desperately to keep anyone from seeing her struggle. Staying in her bed with Killian keeping watch at her door was meant to be a short term solution, even as Emma found herself desperate for the comfort of her bedding and the quiet of her thoughts.
Killian was also overwhelmed in the underground even if less so than the pain she felt, and had thrown himself into research with the rest of his energy. He poured over texts by candlelight, scribbling notes as Emma attempted to sleep. Her eyes were easily drawn to him even in the dim, the shadows on his face and gold of the flame dancing across his eyes, a balm that eased her into restless dreams. Laying against him as he attempted to make out what threat had called for the creation of their current cage, he came across the mention of their families endangerment repeatedly. There had never been peace.
Emma's smile stayed on, only faltering when she let her thoughts wander. There had never been peace - why was she even trying anymore? What good was any of this, if it could always be undone? When it was always in danger?
Why was peace so fragile?
Weeks passed. Spring emerged in full, marking a full year of their time together. Neither acknowledged it, even as the days grew longer and the sun warmer - in the caves it was all the same. After a month and then another, they fell into a steady routine, both refusing to press the issue.
Emma hadnât left her room in days, only appearing for meals where she acted as a grateful guest. Taking a bite or two of food, a careful mask of diplomacy on her face, Killian watched her push around the rest before taking her leave.
âIf youâll excuse me, I still have not recovered from our trip here.â Bowing slightly, she turned before any of their company could offer anything. He recognized fleeing when he saw it. Leaving the table to follow her, he gave a nod to Ingrid, cloak rippling behind him.
Knocking on her door in the smooth polished stone rooms, Emma called out from the other side, voice shaking.
âIâm feeling ill, please -â
âEmma. Open the door.â
âIâm alright, Iâm about to take a nap actually -â
âOpen the door, please.â He heard her sigh, and the door unlocked. Up close, he was surprised how well she had covered her distress. Her eyes were red rimmed, cheeks stained. With the door open a crack, she returned to her bed and laid down curled away from him.
âIâm fine. Go away.â
âYouâre not fine. Come on.â He extended a hand, watching her turn her head. She turned back, curling tighter into a ball. âEmma.â
âNo.â
âI promise you, itâs worth the trip. Please.â She didnât stir. âItâs where Liam and I grew up. Itâs not far from here.â Killian scratched at his ear. âSo much for surprise, I guess.â That got her attention, shifting to look at him.
âFine. Ten minutes.â Wrapping herself in a cloak, she wiped her eyes and took his waiting hand.
Killian led her out of the winding caves and through the woods. After a long walk, the woods thinned leading to a mossy grove of ruined buildings, fountains crumbling into tiled pools. Graceful arches stood near staircases that led to exposed second stories, ivy crawling towards a full moon and leaving soft wispy shadows.
âThis was The Blackwater. It was given to the Dwarves after the war because,â Killian took a deep breath, letting it out with a hiss. âThere wasnât anyone of the name to hold claim to it.â
âIt must have been beautiful.â Emma stood by an archway, examining the carved knots and anchors in the stone. âThe attention to detail, it reminds me ofâŠâ She made a noise in her throat, letting herself slump to the ground.
Killian sat on the other side of the archway, facing her. âThis is close to where I lost my Milah.â The Darkness stirred in its sleep at the sound of her name, then returned to its slumber. âI was so scared, for her and my brother. I felt helpless to do anything, and then angry. When The Darkness chose me, it made me a promise that Iâd have the strength to stop the war. I thought that would save her and Liam. InsteadâŠâ
âI know. You donât have to go back into it if you donât want to,â Emma whispered.
âI killed my brother. I failed the woman I loved. I couldnât save Elsa.â Reaching a hand to her, he wiped her cheeks of tears. When she let him, he moved closer to her, sitting next to her. âI have been cowardly, hateful, and so weak when it comes to my failures. You still see good in me, you still hold out hope for your family, even now full of fear.â Taking her shaking hands and holding them steady, he let her lean into his body. âYou know theyâre alright, love. Just like I knew when Milah⊠When she was gone.â
âIâm so sorry. Iâm just guessing, I donât know what Iâm doing -â Trembling, she buried her face in his chest. Killian held her and let her cry, emotions spilling over and walls slipping away. âI couldn't get even one ally truly. I was the one who couldn't save Elsa, I'm so worried for my family. I love them, all of them, and they could be hurtâŠâ
âYou are still strong, even if youâre scared Emma. Youâre the toughest lass Iâve met sinceâŠâ Their eyes met, and she looked away quickly, cheeks reddening. Sitting in the silence for a while, Emma rested her head on Killianâs chest, focusing on anything but the fear that tried to constrict around her lungs. She shivered, enjoying what might be one of her last moments.
Emmaâs cloak slipped away from her shoulder slightly, moonlight hitting her sliver of bare skin and a wave of sensation rolled through her. Radiating from where the moonbeam kissed her skin, a feeling of warmth that relaxed sore muscles, sending sparks of pleasure through her shoulder.
âOh!â Touching the strands of light caused the same sparks in her fingertips, and she momentarily forgot their conversation. âWhat is this?â
âI forgot.â Killian pulled her to her feet, leading her to a brightly lit clearing that had possibly been a courtyard, but was now reclaimed by moss and moonflower. âThe full moon here, the original world where we were made by the old Gods, it has an effect on us in our sacred places.â He helped her remove her cloak and she shuddered. Everywhere it touched, it felt as if she was dipped in heated water while having gentle nails raked down the skin.
âThis is amazing.â
âIt gets better.â Taking her hand in his, they made their way down an overgrown path, pieces of stair poking out from the earth. Another clearing led to a pool of water surrounded by what once had been a stone wall. A fountain poured clear water into the pool, which fell down the exposed cliffside on the other side. The pristine water sparkled as light pierced its depths, the bottom a broken mosaic of what looked like the waves on the sea beyond the cliff.
âKillian.â Emma was in awe of the beauty before her. âThis is beyond beautiful, I -â
There was a splash of water, hitting the hem of her skirts, and Killian was a sleek shape under the water. His cloak was nearby, along with his shirt. A blush crept up her face.
âI wouldnât scandalize you, Princess - any more than I have that is. I am wearing trousers, in case we end up with anyone from the caves looking for us, no matter how unlikely that is with Ingrid watching out. Use my shirt.â She could hear the grin in his voice, and her decision was made. She pulled her dress over her head, the slip underneath the silky material the people of this era favored, hitting just above the knee. She stepped in the water watching him carefully, his attention on the sea and not her.
When Killian turned, the way his eyes widened was enough for her. He looked up quickly, his ears turning pink. He had seen her nude before and she him, but never in the light of desire. Emma moved next to him letting her hip rest against his, one arm over the cliff side, watching water flow off the edge.
âLiam and I used to play here; our Mum loved the water. Sheâd read to us while we swam, or sing while stitching our things,â he said wistfully. âI didnât realize how much I missed this place.â
The fountain babbled and a soft rush of water filled the silence.
âI needed this.â Folding her hand in his, she let her body relax in the cool water, the sensation of moonlight making her senses come alight. âThank you.â
âYouâre welcome.â He swallowed hard. âIf thatâs all your gratitude is worth, that is.â Giving a crooked grin towards her, the moon on his skin and her dress leading him into temptation he hadnât felt in so long. He didn't expect her to press against him, to take his breath away as she stood on tiptoe.
She pushed her lips against his hungrily, torment and salvation all at once as they crushed themselves together. The caress of her everything against his was too much, his hands fisting against her hip as she ground into him, spreading smoldering heat. What he would not give to feel her, to move in her and hear her answering sighs of pleasure -
He pushed her away, sucking in air sharply.
âKillian?â
âWe should go.â His heart was racing, all thoughts obliterated except getting away from her touch. Emma stood staring at him in the water, her lips parted and ready for more, swaying towards him and ready to mold herself against him.
This was dangerous. He shouldnât have given in; if he wanted to make peace with his demon, he needed to avoid her, avoid the feelings she brought forward like a tidal wave. She was a princess, and everyone he cared for ended up hurt. He wouldnât allow this. He swam to the shallow slope of the pool, pulling himself out of the water.
Emma followed, picking up her dress and cloak. She stormed past him.
He reached out for her, fingertips brushing her elbow as he stood. âEmma -â
âHow many times are you going to push me away?â
Killian looked down at his feet, his jaw set.
âEmma, I can't -â
She stomped over to him, standing toe to toe, her eyes searching his. âKiss me for more than a moment and let it lead somewhere, just once. I don't know what I've done wrong for you to act as if I'm the most awful person you've ever met, or like I've burned you. I thought it was Milah, but then you said that wasn't the case. Then everything on the island, where you and I lived in that fantasy within the rites, but we agreed that wasn't real, even if it felt real. Gods help me it felt right , Killian. Then in Agrabah you acted as if you regretted everything because I was sick, and I thought that you might have changed your mind, because I wanted you so badly. I dreamed about you, I dreamed of dying without you ever knowing that I wanted to be yours . When you saved me, when we made it into the jungle, the way you touched me - I just want a clear message, please. Tell me that you don't want me, or just tell me what I have to do to make you stop running from me.â
âEmma, that's not it at all. There's so much, I -â He carded a hand through his wet hair, and took a deep breath that wasn't near enough to still his racing heart. âWe shouldnât. Iâm sorry, but I donât want to hurt you,â Killian whispered, arms wrapping around her as she pressed forward.
âThen donât.â A cool spring breeze made her shiver, and he held her tighter. âDonât hurt me.â
This time when their lips met, her body pressed tight against his and his hands roamed freely over the clinging fabric. Her cloak fell to the ground and his shirt was quickly discarded as he laid them on a bed of moss. Her mouth was demanding against his, slanted to deepen the kiss, her teeth gently catching his bottom lip.
Groaning, his hips pressed against hers seeking friction and were met by her body's own rolling grind. Her short silken gown bunched up above her hips, his hissed protest unheard when she simply tugged off the rest of the wet garment and threw it aside, leaving her completely nude underneath him.
He reared back. They couldn't do this, they shouldn't, he would destroy her like everyone else in his life. She was so full of light, so beautiful and he -
The thought was destroyed by warm fingers under his trousers, pulling his cock free of wet confines. Emma gave a tiny gasp when he rutted into her palm, her fingers leaving trails of heat as she stroked him gently. Under the moonâs influence, while only stars watched, Killian let go. He wouldn't want any longer - Emma was right. Everything else could wait; he was better, more when they were together.
Whatever this meant, he needed it. It was oxygen and passion, and she was so perfect, so kind, so gentle, so thoughtful, so lovely and enigmatic. Even now, lithe and prone beneath him, she touched him with reverence like he wasn't a monster. She saw him, looked straight into his soul and pulled him from the shadows where he had been caged. Emma scraped her nails down his chest, and he let out a strangled noise.
Spreading her legs, he moved down to run a finger through her wetness. Emma opened to him like a flower and he groaned, dipping his head to taste. Her response was immediate as his tongue licked a strip up through her folds to circle around her nub, legs shaking as he held them over his shoulders. Her reaction sent heat shooting straight to where he was hard, as she began rocking her hips against his mouth with a cry of his name.
She tasted divine, her hands grasping against his hair and the ground as her back arched, leaving him aching. He brought her to climax, shuddering with a silent scream, letting her chest steady with slow swirls until he could do it again, and then once more. Each time her peak was closer, he kept her enraptured until curses fell from her lips along with keening whines. Bringing her up and higher each time made him feel like nothing else, where she was absolutely addicting in taste and her small whimpers, watching her fall apart from his touch was like being remade. He felt as if everything else was washed away, except for this, her whispered wantings. Killian's own needs had become pressing, his body strung tightly and neglected. Leaving her with a nibble to each thigh, he silently asked if he could satiate his own desires.
"Please, please let me - please I -" she replied, voice tremulous.
Kissing up her body, her breathing was coming hot and quick as he traced the contours of her neck with his teeth. He switched to using his tongue to lick circles around a nipple, trying to regain any semblance of control. Pulling himself up to look down at her eyes, he pushed a piece of hair behind her ear.
âEmma, tell me you want this. We can stop, I will stop -â He let out a pained groan against her, a deliberate movement of her thighs slipping his cock through her wetness, feet pushing his almost removed trousers even further down.
âI want this.â Emma kissed him, eyes half lidded expressions of wonder. Shucking the last bit of his clothing off, one of her hands traced down his spine making him shiver, fully nude and wanting. The kiss turned impatient, his hands pulling one of her legs to his side and the other aligning himself for his first gentle thrust.
âGods, you're so... You're beautiful, everything I could desire, I haven't - it's been so long and I - " Killian choked out the words, reverence in each as they shuddered. "You feel amazing, Emma. So tightâŠâ
She replied with a cry that left him without words, and he shivered slightly, grunting as he slowly continued to push inside her. It was all he could do to hold every muscle in his body taut, trying to not let his eyes roll back, nostrils flaring as he took short pants of breath. It had been ages since he had laid with a woman, and he already felt on edge. His shallow, teasing thrusts at her entrance had him on the edge of pain.
When he changed the angle to go deeper, she suddenly grabbed his back, curling her body around him to bury her face in his neck. Killian felt the push back, felt her go rigid as he slid all the way home, stilling immediately.
"Emma, you... You're⊠Youâve never?" His head spun. He hadn't known, but could have guessed - should have guessed, if he had thought about it in depth. No suitors, her family so protective of her birthright, ancient traditions of nobility, no kisses stolen by the seaside - She was beautiful, kind, intelligent, witty - How had she... Why would she let him?
He choked out the thought. "Why?"
She kissed his neck softly, nuzzling in to find his ear. "You needed me, and I need you. I trust you," she whispered simply, a hand touching his cheek so softly, the gentle caress making his heart ache. "I love you. I want you."
Moving her hips, adjusting with a small stroke up and an arch of her back, their lips crushed against each other.
Killian snapped, the last vestige of control left him with only want and the hope of gentleness; the guttural moan he let out was primal. He could feel her walls fluttering underneath him, her bodyâs response to his. Electricity crackled on his skin; he couldn't stop, he had been without for so long, he felt so right and alive -
The first time she came with him inside her, he felt her body desperately trying to hold him in, gripping at him, writhing under him while he quickened the pace, canting his hips to match the new rhythm. He could feel himself teetering on the edge, every touch from her felt like it branded him. He gathered her closer with his hand snaking between them, fingers finding her clit to circle in quick strokes. The heat in his spine had built to an inferno, the precipice rising to meet him even as he tried to hold off on falling.
Any discomfort she had felt had morphed into a delicious pull of friction tightening in her belly, white hot and coiled by the time he began to move.
Killian was the North Star she followed with no quarter and as he drove into her, she tried to give him the same pleasure he guided her towards. She clawed at his back when he thrust sharply, listening to his breath catch. Every moan, hiss, and groan was music to her ears that took her higher, but his words? Emma fell into his words as his beard and voice slid roughly against her neck. He groaned into the hollow there, telling her how good she felt, whispering everything he wanted to do to her in her ear as he licked and sucked down to her collarbone. When his clever fingers met her skin close to where he drove himself into her, it felt as if she might combust like a second sun.
"One more, love, you're so - so beautiful, perfect , please give me one more - with me, please," he pleaded, his lips ghosting over her pulse point. The words were half panted, desperate things, broken into moans that Emma felt stoked the fire beginning to burn her alive. "I need you, I need you to fall with me."
It hit her like a crashing wave after quaking, pleasure lighting every nerve. Emma was all sensation, the light on her skin, the air, the sounds of the woods, broken in a million pieces of stardust and fire. Becoming a wild eyed creature, she held him close with her thighs and arms. She wouldn't let him go, couldn't; she would float away if he was to leave her. Pleas escaped her; she begged for more of this, whatever this was, his answering groans in time with their rhythm too much.
And Killian tried, tried to hear his fear, the nagging voice of reason that used to play the role of the voice in his head. He tried to pull away from her, spill himself into his hand, or on her soft skin, or onto the mossy ground.
She was saying his name, moaning it as he lost himself, letting go into her body with his own groan of surrender. They held each other like that, panting, for a long moment as Killian tasted sweat, cinnamon, vanilla, the forest, and sky that had settled at the junction of her jaw.
âMmmmm.â Emma breathed in, humming, expelling it in a sigh. "You feel so nice."
âHm?â He smirked, drawing back to press a light kiss to her bruised lips. "Are you comfortable like this? I'm not crushing you, am I?"
Emmaâs eyeâs closed, but she let out another demure purr. âMmm. Yes, you - I like you like this. Are you comfortable?â
âAye,â he chuckled. "But we can't stay like this, darling."
Her eyes opened, and she gave him a dreamy smile, running fingers through his damp, shaggy, hair. âI love it when you laugh. I wishâŠâ
âYes?â
âI wish it would happen more.â Her eyes pierced through him, and he felt his mouth go dry. She was even more beautiful, mussed and flushed with a gaze that spoke straight to his heart. âI wish I could make you smile, or laugh more. I wish that you and I could overcome the Darkness. I wish that you could be free with me. I imagine that life we could have together, and it's so beautiful, Killian. I want it so much.â
He swallowed hard, pulling himself from her and laying on his back in the bed of moss. Emma snuggled into his chest, stroking the trails of rough hair. Yawning, he felt her start to slip into sleep.
âKillian?â she whispered.
âHm?â he murmured into her hair.
âI hope one day youâre happy.â Her breathing steadied, and her voice became half mumbled above his heart. "Maybe even with me."
Emma slept, pale skin giving off a glowing sheen in the moonlight, golden hair a beautiful contrast against the soft moss and lunar flowers that grew nearby. Pink lips and nipples moved with soft breaths as he laid down next to her. Taking her beauty in, he felt a contentedness he hadn't in ages. Crickets sang a nighttime symphony, joined by cicadas, and the sounds of other nocturnal animals rustling in the warm evening as the wind whistled softly.
A whispered voice he hadn't heard in so long was calm and quiet, the words dream like in quality.
âYou won't let her go. A man who won't fight for what he wants, deserves what he gets. Don't let her go.â
Killian luxuriated in the serenity of the moment, as her arms wrapped tightly around him and she nuzzled into his body, warm against warm. Everything was her, he was home with her, she was home with him - No, she was everything, vanilla, sweet spice, and oak; honey and earth; floral but not ever overpowering; like the air before a summer shower.
He felt at peace, detached from the cold grave he had dug for his dreams and instead basking in starlight with someone he -
His brain only registered this for the horror it was when Emma murmured into him, dreaming with a crooked smile, the soft strip of cloth he held to gently clean their skin stained pink with the reality of what he had done.
Killian was at peace. The Dark One was to never be at peace without consequences. Everyone he had ever loved - they were -
In the deafening silence of only their heartbeats, he was reminded of the drums that accompanied a final march to a gallows. He had betrayed the memory of Milah, losing any sense of decency by letting himself fall into this without care of consequence. This relationship and its doomed path challenged Tristan and Isolde or Romeo and Juliet in its folly.
âA man who won't fight for what he wants, deserves what he gets. Don't let her go.â
They would never work; as far as history was concerned, his nobility and title were stripped. Her parents would kill him, and Gods above if he didn't deserve it. It was a princess lying next to him, not some slattern; his failure to protect her filled him with disgust. And he felt⊠the feeling he'd been about to say...
Killian was in love with her; time had passed in its strange way and she had started it like some grand clock. He loved her⊠He loved her, but the old ways were firmly still embedded deep into his being, the old laws, the strict rules, warnings and superstition heeded by their kind that he had taken to heart for all of his life. Humans, Halflings, archways, invitations, ritual and dance, wine, water, blood, evidence of a tryst signed in the oldest ink they each could give, laying with someone betrothed, laying with royalty, full moons and the rite of a first time lover. He had given himself to her, body and soul, and she had given him her untouched body in return. She trusted him, gave away innocence for a future he could never give. Worse, in all the ancient dances of their people, Emma had let him - let him empty himself -
He knew what the old laws dictated, but knowing wasn't enough when she wrapped her legs around him, arms tight around his neck, everything tight as he took what she gave while giving also of himself. Of her choices if someone found out about this, if her parents banished her, or if her betrothed chose how he could torture her in their marriage. If she even could have a betrothal - She could be denied marriage to someone worthy of her now that he had defiled her. Seven hells , she could fall pregnant; they had done this on a full moon with its own magic heavy in the air - an enceinte pregnancy could destroy her entire claim to the throne, as if this war wasn't enough.
No, no. The Dark Ones were sterile - weren't they? His panic grew when he realized he didn't know.
Most horrific was the thought of if he stayed, pulling her into the abyss with him. She would suffer the wrath of the Darkness if he lost control; the visage of Emma, cold in a glass coffin because of her steadfast belief in him, wrapping around his throat with a choking squeeze.
His selfishness had ruined an innocent.
The silence was broken by her words echoing in his head.
âYou needed me, and I need you. I trust you.â
"I love you."
His own voice, the clear sound of what was his conscience that had so briefly returned followed.
âDon't let her go.â
The Darkness rose with a cackle, flooding into him to snuff out the light that had so briefly awakened, his quiet voice repeating his brother's words and Emma's sincere whispers drowned out once more.
The days passed, peace in the eye of the storm settling around Emma and Killian as they remade their routines. They slept together in a warm embrace, joining each other in the other's room, hands seeking each other in meetings under the table when they sat next to each other, eyes speaking unsaid words across crowded spaces when they discussed rebel strategy. More Fae were joining their cause by the day, Emma's ideas and modern ideology spreading with a furor throughout the realms.
Nil had to know by now that she was coming for him, but if the Goblins struck first, they were ready. She wondered idly if he was as calm as she pretended to be in front of her new subjects, or if he was as panicked as she was when she sat with Killian, pouring out her fears as he listened. He was so gentle, so kind, exactly what she needed when she took a break. He knew her. He was what she had waited so long for.
Emma struggled to find Killian after dinner, after taking it alone in her chambers. He had been avoiding her more and more after their coupling on the grounds of his home, a highly disappointing matter when it came to her slumber. Beyond feeling magnificent and worth threefold of Ruby's tales, she had slept the best she had in ages, all while warmed by his skin and steady heartbeat. Emma could see the appeal.
It was invigorating, the strange sensation of pride and pleasure that came from watching Killian's reactions to her body. Seeing the blue of his eyes disappear into dark hues didn't scare her anymore, but instead brought satisfaction as he raked them over her skin. Instead of harsh words or condescension, he whispered sweet nothings into her hair, even as she heard him fight the Darkness whispering its lies. She had noticed the edge growing, but had seen his fight to soften it, his worry over her safety when his mind screamed at him to hurt her. All over the shard.
Stroking her fingers on the silver edge, Emma glanced at Killian, his quiet snores gently ruffling her hair. There was no doubt in her mind that he would wake soon, his sleep of late was as restless as her own had been before⊠Before he had been hers, and she his, so wholly. He shouldn't have to fight so hard to simply love her as she did him. She trusted him, and though a part of her worried about her judgement, a plan developed in her mind to protect him, protect the feelings they shared, and rid herself of the excess magic plaguing her.
Emma got out of bed as he protested with a grunted murmur, slipping on a shift and cloak. She couldn't remember the last time he had rested so deeply. Even his dreaming was fitful when he did slip into sleep, frequent mumbles that she asked him about later, watching him with concern. He would quickly assure her, the lie sitting on her skin like humid air. It sealed her decision, her eyes soft as she kissed his forehead, leaving for the Blackwater.
It took hours, magic pouring into the earth and ground, bleeding into the stone as Ingrid directed her. Nil might sense it, but they were prepared. As long as she had faith, they were more than capable of tactical attack maneuvering. He could not launch his favorite full assaults in their caves.
Her power shifted the ruins with ease, shimmering as it fell upon them. It felt wonderful to free the energy that needled her veins, the incandescent fire no longer a flame that burned her insides. The spark demanded that it be spent, relishing in returning to the world in such a loving manner.
Walls stacked themselves back into their forms, carvings shed their moss as archways once broken connected again, windows that were shattered pieced back together with stained glass pulled from the dirt. The Blackwater rebuilt itself slowly but surely, Emma's magic sparing no details.
Linens knitted rotting threads together. Curtains with moth eaten lace edges found their scalloped ruffles once more. Wood groaned, moss disappeared on splintered beams as damp fled the sun that poured through rebuilt panes. In the library she found suppIe, well loved leather bound copies of books, worn even when renewed.
Killian's home. How many times had he opened one of these, reading in the corner window? She smiled at the thought of him as a child, the image bringing on the unbidden idea of a child of her own. She shook off the thought with a blush; Fae pregnancies were rare and easy spell work or a simple potion was enough to keep away conception, but⊠They had made love.
Emma's face heated further, and she moved to the window pane to press her forehead against it, letting the cool glass soothe her. Did he love her that much? Could the idea of a child make him lose his thoughts to the complete wonder of the future they could have together? Was this dream of being together one he shared, in hopes that soon enough it could be their reality?
Even with Nil lurking, even with the war crashing around her, the light of their future - the hope of what could be - changed everything. It reshaped the landscape of her world, as if each breath felt new.
Did he feel the same way? Did he feel that same freedom, the power to change things so rapidly? She touched the shard again, decision made. Taking a deep breath, she returned to the caves to wait for Killian.
Pacing his bed chambers, Killian wished he could claw out his ears and have silence once more, the buzzing, insect-like whine of the Darkness non-stop in his head as it argued with no end in sight. There was nothing it would not attack, his sleep interrupted, body on edge from its nails scraping sharply, its forced disturbing imagery behind his eyelids blooming like the light of struck matches in secreted corners. It was a dog with a bone, and Killian felt himself crumbling with dismay.
Emma sought him out and acted like they had known each other for an eternity, only compounding his problems. The princess had always been eerily good at reading him, knowing the difference between him and when his darker impulsiveness was lurking. The Darkness hated how she always knew precisely how to escape any laid trap or how to step in the unstable landscape of his psyche. She studied him, the avid pupil possibly more aware now then her subject.
The blasted minx knew something was wrong, and had been unsubtle about knowing that he left his fight with the shadow out by omission. Worse still, she didn't pressure it, instead giving him space with reassurances in his judgment. If only. Since their tryst, her magic barely pushed the Darkness back, its need for control keeping him from sleep or quiet rest, and its fear not as great as its newfound exploit. Worse were its mutterings of the terrible things it would do if he let his guard down for a moment, the images paraded against the back of his eyelids to torture him, his fear of being around her leaning heavily into paranoid delusion.
You only think I can't hurt her, you don't know for sure. Maybe I'm waiting for you to falter; one slip and I just crush her heart, or cut her open. I'd leave a scar, so neither of you could forget, watch you go mad never knowing when I will do it again. You wouldn't even be able to escape, she would try and convince you that you could stop me until her very last breath⊠One we took from her, you'll know forever how it feels to strangle your beloved -
The whine grew louder, the Darkness pulsating in his veins at the lack of obedience in its request for an audience.
Listen to me. I can promise you power, and your revenge for Milah. We can keep the shard and use it against the Goblin King, against his son, and free your pretty little sweetheart.
I can make it so she hates you. I can break her heart for you, push her away so you - so we - never hurt her. She'll be safe. She can live a life she was meant to, and rule. You know we would never be accepted, that they would use us. She would use you. You know that this is the best offer I can give you. You'd both be free; you would never be under the royal boot.
âNo, she wouldn't. She'd never.â Killianâs head throbbed, and his eyes stung as he stumbled to lean on the chamber's wall.
I can hear your thoughts, dearie. I can hear your doubt. You know she would, or her parents would. You don't fit in her pretty little castle. You don't fit in the gilded glow of royal living at all. She wants you to be that silly Lordling again, she wants you to be her prince consort, you can never go back to that pathetic caricature of life again. You have no future. You have no happy ending. They'd never even allow you to be with her, lock you away again in some cage -
Killian snorted before he growled lowly, âLock you away, you mean -â
I am you. I control you, you gave yourself to me, this vessel is mine and I hold it. I chose it. I chose you, filled with so much rage and the willingness to do anything for your revenge. I give you a choice now because I choose to show you mercy, I choose to save you from foolishness. I choose to make sure nothing happens to a precious hair on your princessâs head.
The thought of Emma in a glass coffin doused him in ice, her hair devoid of color, skin pale, hands folded neatly around a floral bouquet. The image hurt him, the idea of her as cold as Milah unbearable.
Yes, I know your fears, and you're right. You will kill her in one way or another, be it our hands or the consequences of being with her. Do you think the United Realms will simply accept that their greatest enemy is fucking the Crown Princess? Do you think they won't try to exploit you both, get you to do something brash?
Her magic doesn't harm me any longer since you ruined her. Do you think anyone will give her sympathy if you stay? If you leave her, she can say that you manipulated her. We can make her believe that we manipulated her. She can live the life she was born for. She could have a future, even if you cannot.
âButâŠâ He felt his grip slipping, and his voice fell to a gently sighed truth. âI love her.â
Your love will never be enough to save her -
And it won't be enough to save you.
Throwing himself back into the bed, he managed to fall into a restless sleep, exhaustion unending as the Darkness consumed his mind. He could not find peace from it, no relief or reprieve with it crawling through him.
Give in. I will win this fight, and your struggle will cause untold destruction. Give in, give in now.
His thoughts were interrupted by voices at their door.
"Emma? Emma, Killian, we need to -" Anna's head poked into their space, before Ingrid burst in.
"Where is Emma? We need to speak to her, it's urgent." Ingrid barely noticed him sitting up groggily, the Darkness giggling in his head.
"She left some time ago. I was resting, she should be around," Killian rasped out, touching the cold of the bed clothes, confused. How much time had passed? "I don't -"
"Nil has sent a letter of intention, following the proper procedural etiquette for a proposal. Emma has an official declaration of war, we need -"
"We need to find her, why are you not with her?" Anna asked, interrupting Ingrid. Kristoff nodded, and Killian felt anger rise in his throat.
"I'm not her bloody pet, we aren't attached to each other," Killian snarled, shrugging on his loose suspenders. He needed a bath, the lack of sleep and buzz of the Darkness in his head not the only feeling of unclean resting on his skin.
"Merlin will find her, if he hasn't already, I'm sure," Ingrid said with a nod. His skin crawled at the wizard's name, eyes narrowing. "We need to make a move here, this could be the best way to get the King and Queen free from their confinement -"
"You're going to have her go along with it?" Killian asked, his body suddenly tensed.
Surely not. Emma would never, she couldn't. The dreams from the rites had never left her fully, Nil's presence in her nightmares still making it difficult to sleep soundly. His stomach twisted at the thought of the creature's touch.
"It's an option," Ingrid stated, nodding sharply. "One I intend to bring to the table as well; if she can handle it, we could -"
"Absolutely not!" Killian hissed, Ingrid looking at him with an annoyed patience that made him feel as if he was a child.
"It's not your choice, I'm afraid. It's our princess's, regardless of the relationship between you both." Sniffing, she arched a fine eyebrow in challenge. "Surely you could handle yourself with this sort of deception? This is the
"I would have rather forgotten," Killian spat, his patience thinned to a dangerous state. "I'll find Emma, hopefully before Merlin does. This plan is idiotic. Nil is not ever going to play by those rules, which were bad rules to begin with. I can only hope Emma has the common sense to recognize that."
Storming out, he heard Ingrid scoff at Kristoff's noise of agreement and Anna's squeak as he passed by.
Sending her to Nil on a silver platter was a horrendous idea. Killian found his anger growing, stoked by the Darkness and his own frustration with the protocols of the court rearing up after both he and Emma's clear changes.
Furthermore, where was she? He had woken to her side of the bed cold and empty, her cloak and slippers gone. Hours had passed by the buzzing, giggling, madness inducing timepiece that was the Darkness in his head, yet she had not returned. Exiting the caves, he took in a deep gulp of fresh air, enjoying the taste of what was once his home. Pines, sea salt, wet rock, moss - and a heavy layer of magic? It sat on his tongue and made the air feel almost humid, the buzz making his hair stand on end.
What has caused such a massive shift, the forest feeling as if it was alive with Fae again? He scanned the coast, his eyes catching on the ruins of - no. No longer ruins, the Blackwater stood proudly on the tall cliffs once
Smoke billowed around him as the laughter in his head echoed shrilly, his boots touching down on the stone that made up the grand foyer. The chandelier twinkled merrily in the stillness, mounted animal heads a silent chorus of watchers as he gawked. His home. His room just as he left it, the dove grey linens and canopy as if he had been gone only days. Rage boiled, as he found the library, his father's desk so much smaller than he remembered. Running a fingertip under the wood of the sides, he could even feel the crescent moons where Liam and his nails had dug when father had beat them.
It was too much, all too much, and far too easy to destroy again.
I just finished my three night re-watch of the extended editions! Their friendship is awesome. Sam carrying Frodo up the mountain because he knows he canât carry the Ring⊠gets me every time!
idk I think this new era of Disney systemically poaching non-white cultures to be made into Representation Movies all directed by some white guy named like Laird Bannister III is kinda fucked up and sinister
For everyone saying âwe need more movies that are LatAm people telling their own stories!â I have great news that every country south of the United States has its own film industry
As someone in Animation from one of said Latin American countries: yes we do! We DO have industries! But the combination of imperialism, colonisation and multiple social and economic crises has left us in a state where THEREâS NO MONEY. Our industry is used mostly as outsourced labor for giants such as Disney. No, your favourite movies and series arenât fully made in LA. A lot of the bulk of the work is made by us! Weâre the cheap, overworked labor that doesnât even get mentioned by name in the credits!
ââBut Ami! What can we do?ââ Because of many reasons, we ALSO donât have access to fundraiser platforms, weâre geo blocked by kickstarted, indiegogo and such. Buuuuuuut we ARE still pushing and pulling! We ARE still getting out as much work as we can! Check out this incomplete list of animation studios! Support this latin american fundraising website, idea.me ! Spread awareness of Global South countriesâs state of cheap labor exploited by the first world! Support collectives like Third World Artists Collectives and its website with resources! Weâre here!
Also! If you want to watch an amazing piece of Latin American animation and don't like dubs *or* subs, here's an entirely wordless film:
It's called "The Boy and the World", and it's from Brazil. It's deep, political and sad, but also entirely ok for kids to watch and ultimately hopeful. It's low budget, but very colorful and beautifully designed. So far my very favourite animated film made in Latin America so far, and on par with Ghibli stuff in terms of depth and vision (IMO).
I guess I understand the original POV to a certain point but would you rather then just Disney start making movies with all white characters only again?
Disney has the advantage of huge reach and brand popularity. Most foreign animation houses just donât have that, and even if say all of Tumblr gave a dollar to them, it wouldnât probably make much of a difference in getting them global exposure.
Disney, thus, has the ability to show various audiences, especially young children, faces and cultures quite different from their own. Maybe it sparks a little more acceptance, maybe it doesnât. But Iâd rather see them try than go back to a less diverse slate.
I know itâs always *evil Disney* on here. But sometimes, you still have to work with what you have, rather than wish for the reality that doesnât exist.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/10
Fandom: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan, Captain Hook | Killian Jones & Emma Swan, Prince Charming | David Nolan/Snow White | Mary Margaret Blanchard, Snow White | Mary Margaret Blanchard & Emma Swan, Prince Charming | David Nolan & Emma Swan
Characters: Emma Swan, Captain Hook | Killian Jones, Snow White | Mary Margaret Blanchard, Prince Charming | David Nolan, Elsa (Once Upon a Time), Evil Queen | Regina Mills, Snow Queen | Ingrid | Sarah Fisher, Anna (Once Upon a Time), Widow Lucas | Granny, Red Riding Hood | Ruby, Captain Nemo (Once Upon a Time), Robin Hood (Once Upon a Time), James (Once Upon a Time)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Downton Abbey Fusion, Alternate Universe - Youâve Got Mail Fusion, Secret Santa, Friends to Lovers, Forbidden Love, Alternate Universe - 1920s
Summary:
Brought together by letters and fate, Emma Swan and Killian Jones must find a way to earn acceptance from Emmaâs wealthy family as they fall in love.
A Downton Abbey/Youâve Got Mail mash-up for downeystarkjr. Merry Christmas! <3
Captain Swan Secret Santa 2021
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Ho! Ho! Ho!
Merry Christmas, @downeystarkjr! Iâm your Secret Santa for @cssecretsanta2020! I hope you had such a lovely holiday!
You definitely presented me with a challenge: Iâve had to flex my creativity to create you a historical AU that blends your favorite elements of Sybil/Branson from Downton Abbey and Youâve Got Mail, and I hope you love what I came up with for you!
This will be a 10 chapter story, so over the next few weeks Iâll be posting chapters and finishing up this tale for you!
My aunt passed away today. She had had ever more escalating complications over the last two years related to long-standing Type I DM, but still, she was only 60. And I wanted to take a moment to memorialize her here.
She was a loving vivacious larger than life woman who always kept everyone laughing with her antics. Sheâd dance. Sheâd always be the one making silly gestures. She gave the biggest hugs. She always knew how to make you feel better when you were down. And even at her sickest, she still would try to make you smile.
The time we get with our loved ones is finite. And everyday, we should remember to cherish the time we get with those we love.
I love you, my Aunt Katie. May you rest soundly and sweetly, and someday, may I hope to see you again.
jacobvanloon
prguitarman
janainaart
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gummygunk
