Previously thoughtfire

35, UK, ESFJ.

[notjusthespongenextdoor]

I'm coming to realize how vital it is to keep a running list of shit you did in the past few weeks so that you can participate in small talk. It's literally not anything to do with them being interesting at all it's just having Something to say to give people even the barest thing to hold on to. It's so you don't get into the "what have you been up to" "nothing much what about you" "yeah same" trap. Literally just say something.

What have you been up to? Um well it's getting warmer so I've been having to brush my cat every day.

Like no it's not that interesting of a thing to say. But now they can respond to it. They could say, man yeah it really is heating up, I've been trying to think of things to do inside more often. Or, oh you have a cat? What's their name?

Like. It's Something. All you need is Something. And if you're like me and your brain immediately goes blank upon entering small talk then keeping a list will help you remember things to say.

[leviathan-supersystem]

I get how the whole "listening to music as a dick-measuring contest for who can listen to the most obscure band" thing can get grating sometimes but I don't think people realize just how vital that phenomenon is for new up and coming bands to get a foot in the door. it's understandable to be annoyed by hipsterism but unless you want all music to be industry plants and former child stars you're just going to have to accept it as part of the social ecosystem.

[leviathan-supersystem]

most of your friends probably won't go around hyping up your amateurish self-released bandcamp project, but you know who will? the most insufferable hipster jackass you'll ever meet.

[mcsryaoihell]

my bonnies

[kosmogrl]

[lowpawly]

people foolishly dismiss desserts and treats as having no nutritional value when they actually are necessary for refilling your sanity stat. to prove my point please observe the emotional stability of the next person you meet who doesnt let themselves ever eat any form of dessert

[beemovieerotica]

if you work in a creative field...or if you do creative hobbies like writing or drawing...you need to make friends with people who don't do those things. you need to befriend normie Steve who has never written a story in his life. and this is because when you are in a creative job or hobby and spend all your time doing that thing, surrounded by very capable people, who you inevitably compare your own progress and skills to, you forget what the baseline human skill at that thing is. and it's usually zero. normie Steve has not written a story since the 3rd grade when his teacher made him do it. he's very good at other things that are not storytelling - but if you tell normie Steve that you wrote a full 300-page book from start to finish, he will think you're some kind of savant. he does not know ANYONE else who has done this. you need this perspective. because when you're constantly on Let's Write Stories dot Com then everyone on Let's Write Stories dot Com will inevitably be like "oh of course everyone on earth has written a book or several at this point!" and you canNOT let yourself think that. that is not even close to the average human experience. you are in a bubble. do not put yourself down. do not give up.

[maswartz]

[antiadvil]

it's wild that popular discourse around migraines is that there are too many people who claim to have migraines but "just have bad headaches". this is the exact opposite of my experience? i'm still trying to convince several of my friends that their "bad tension headaches" that are unilateral, throbbing, cause light sensitivity, nausea, etc, are migraines lmao. migraine is underdiagnosed and undertreated by every metric i can think of.

this narrative is not harmless! it prevents people from getting treatment that could really benefit them. so i would like it to die. thank you.

[shamebats]

As a guy who went to see a neurologist only to "rule out migraines" because I thought I had "tension headaches at worst and also it's not that bad really" only to realize by tracking my headache days that I have very bad chronic migraines just with no aura (most people with migraines don't have them), I co-sign this 100%.

Just starting abortive medications already improved my quality of life so much and now that my doctor started me on preventatives, I might actually be able to have more than a handful of headache-free days each month.

Migraine is frequently misdiagnosed as chronic sinusitis or tension headaches according to research. Mostly because people have a very rigid (inaccurate) idea of what it actually is.

But even if it's not migraine, you still deserve treatment for your headaches. Just because someone else has them worse than you doesn't mean you don't deserve relief.

What Type of Headache Do You Have? | American Migraine Foundation

Learning about the different types of migraine and headache disorders can help you better understand your symptoms and discuss them with you

[roach-works]

yeah i found out awhile back that the 'pressure headaches' that i get that 'aren't that bad' (but still leave me feeling sick and dysfunctional all day) were migraines. i now take a low dose of a preventative medication and the number of shitty rain days i have per month has dropped from like ten to two. it's great.

[captaindibbzy]

In my experience anyone who has chronic pain of any kind ALWAYS under diagnoses it in part cause people who DON'T have chronic pain always tell them how it's Not That Bad Just Get Over It and it takes a lot of fighting to get anyone (including doctors) to do anything about it. Fucked if I know why. Everyone seems to think we're making it up. I've never met anyone who is making it up.

[chibird]

It's easy to compare ourselves to other people's visible successes! But underneath the surface, we realize it's not a comparison at all. We can all succeed in different ways. 🥕✨

Chibird store | Patreon | Instagram

[soupevil]

Video of me trying to write the number 3 in professor layton game for 1 minute

[psychuan]

this fucking video has two punchlines it's incredible

[depsidase]

[daloy-politsey]

[orangeboi32]

reminder that it dosent matter how much you sugarcoat it, bigots only objective is to make you stop existing, thats everything the alt rigth wants, for the minorities they blame everything on to just disspate into thin air thinking itll solve everything in their lives

[wiisagi-maiingan]

Teach your children to respect animals and the world around them. Teach them that nature isn't their toy and that their actions have consequences. Teach them compassion for other beings and creatures.

[wiisagi-maiingan]

A lot of people on this post are focusing on pets, which is fair but not what I intended. Any decent pet owner would teach their children how to respect their pets, their dogs and cats and the like, but pretty much everyone neglects lessons about other animals and nature in general.

Teach your kids that:

nests are important and that they need to be left untouched and undisturbed

they should NEVER take an animal that they find outside and that if they find an injured animal, they should give it space and find an adult to help

wild animals in general need a wide berth and that ANY animal can be dangerous if it feels threatened

wild animals are not pets under any circumstances

it's kinder and very easy to catch and release bugs outside instead of killing them

all bugs are important, even spiders and wasps and other scary ones

everything in nature has a job in general, and everything has a role to fill

something being scary or creepy does not mean it deserves to die

[yeetacai]

Let other living beings have autonomy. They're living their own lives, doing their own thing. There's no reason to disrupt them. If your paths cross, let them be. If you have to have to interact, then any interact should happen with the least amount of harm possible (which also includes stress).

[aggressive-positivity-network]

When someone gives the advice of “don’t be afraid to disappoint your parents” they don’t just mean taking music theory in college or starting a YouTube channel.

It also means wearing things they might not approve of. Using accommodations that they might not think you need. Not falling for their guilt trips. Eating when you’re hungry, not when it suits them and their idea of your weight or health. Making your own friends instead of seeking the stamp of approval from them.

Of course, some parents are stricter than others, and some use abuse to keep you from expressing yourself. But do what you can, even if it seems small.

Otherwise, when your parents are no longer in the picture, you’ll try to find it somewhere else to get validation. A strict boss, an abusive partner, a selfish friend.

Going against your parent’s wishes is developmentally healthy. Not doing so stunts your independence and self-regulation. You shouldn’t be living to constantly please others, even the people who love you.

[teaboot]

I hate that thing some people do where it's like. "I left my wallet on the table to see if you'd say anything" or "I wanted to see if you'd wash the car if I stopped doing it"

Cause like

I dont know about anyone else

But I am perpetually hovering three inches above the strong subconscious belief that everyone knows what they're doing at all times except me, so if you change your normal patterns and I notice, then I will assume it is an intentional choice with a thought-out plan behind it and I will avoid interfering

And if I don't notice, because I won't, because why would I, because not much bothers me and if you don't say anything to indicate you are bothered then how would I KNOW

[teaboot]

Alternatives to experimenting on me like a lab rat when you suspect me of being inconsiderate:

"I feel like I'm the only one who does this chore. Can we start taking turns?"

"I'd like you to ask me how I'm doing more often."

"It bothers me when this area stays messy so long. Can you do X when Y happens?"

"I feel like the onus is on me to initiate X, and it's wearing me down. Could you try making the first move more? Like 3-4 times a week?"

"I'm feeling upset right now and I'd like to spend some time with you."

"When X happens, I feel like you're taking my work for granted."

"I'm feeling neglected. Could you do X?"

"I'm burnt out and need help."

"I feel like I'm the only one putting effort into X."

"Do you notice this?"

"Are you bothered by this?"

"I am bothered when this happens."

"X habit of yours bothers me."

"When X is like this, I feel bad. Can you [action] when you notice X?"

[hug-your-face]

[ecstaticadventures]

‘bread is bad for you’ ‘rice is bad for you’ sorry im not subscribing to the idea that staple grains that have been integral to cultures for centuries are evil. i love you carbs

[guerrillatech]

[pisshandkerchief-deactivated202]

Holy shit that's so cool

[knightofleo]

[beckiboos]

Finally “do you love the colour of the sky” got compressed for our convenience