Bunny Butts

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[boatgrave-deactivated20250901]

[mysteryteacup]

*Scrolls past*

*reluctant sigh*

*scrolls back up*

*rebogs*

[johnnysilverhandssuitcasenuke]

[cephalophor]

The first funny bitch was Cain, who straight up lied to God after killing his brother.

[nakedinasnowsuit]

God: where’s Abel?

Cain: fuck if I know??? I’m not in charge of him

[thewitchway]

It is TRAGIC that you can’t read this in the original Hebrew.

God:  Where’s the Sheepkeeper?

Cain: Do I LOOK like a Brotherkeeper? 

[careful-crow]

God: hey where’s Abel???

Cain:

[adventuretfox]

He killed his yonger brother in cold blood because he was jealous of him. There is in no way anything funny about this. No hesitation just poped a rock over his turned head, droped his body over the edged and tried to lie to god about what he did. FUCK YALL CRAZIES!!!

[funkyness]

oh are those the receipts, Cain is problematic now?

[bprinny]

Cainceled 

[syzygy-yzygy]

If your friend is struggling, the signs might not be obvious. A cry for help can take many different forms. Try checking in on them if you hear them express any of the following sentiments:

I miss Supernatural

I should rewatch Supernatural

Supernatural was such a good show

I hope they make more Supernatural

[pastel-pink-psycho]

[parkchanwoohoo]

I beg my kidnappers for a phone, swearing not to make any calls or texts, and they stare over my shoulder, holding a gun to my head as I use my newly-freed hand to post, "So do like, dudes just buy ropes and baklavas from the same store or what lmfao like a specialty Crime Store"

One of the kidnappers says "balaclavas" but it's muffled under the fabric. I ask them to repeat and they do, their voice raspy from disuse. "You wrote baklava, that's a pastry." The other kidnapper goes "stfu" and then after a pause goes "Why would you buy from a crime store"

[godisafujoshi]

Then they spit roast me

[parkchanwoohoo]

I didn't wanna say this but now that someone's left this kind of comment I have to be honest: Everyone else's tags are funny but this is the only person who understood my vision for this scenario

[drhorsekiller]

[devourallusurvey-deactivated202]

You ever think about many peices of media have zero women and thats just perfectly normal but if a peice of media has an all female cast people get... like that? Women should be allowed to kill over this btw

[loveshoplifter]

same but it's black people

[devourallusurvey-deactivated202]

That's right

[generaljenobi]

[torchickentacos]

I feel the need to tell everyone that the reddit lacqueristas aren't feeling very celebratory for the 4th right now (rightfully and obviously), so instead of red/white/blue nails, everyone's doing DC reflecting pool algae shitshow green nails for the 4th of July instead 😭

[lucidseduction]

[sonandheirofnothinginparticular]

[garden-gnomie]

[mumblesplash]

it’s so magical and beautiful that there are sprawling interconnected cave systems carved deep into the earth by various geological forces and you don’t have to go in them. there are miles and miles of stone passageways in total darkness that require you to exhale all the air out of your lungs to squeeze through parts of them and you don’t have to be there. some of these squeezes are underwater and require cave divers to take off their oxygen tanks and push them through ahead of them and me i am above ground looking at the sky as we speak. there are untold subterranean wonders no human has ever seen and i will not be the one to discover them #grateful #blessed

[mumblesplash]

cave divers when they are happily married with kids and beloved by their community but theres a crack in the bottom of a lake called The Devil’s Rotting Esophagus where 57 people have died

[sawed-on-shotgun]

the human body when you use it and exist in it

[thememedaddy]

[sunderwight]

Stop volunteering to be the village sacrifice we all know you're not a virgin. The dragon probably wouldn't even be into you.

[sunderwight]

Untie yourself from that altar right now.

[sunderwight]

Look. I didn't want to say anything because it's kind of a touchy subject, but the dragon doesn't actually take these "brides" back to its lair full of riches and add them to a harem. Okay? It's a big fucking lizard with a brain the size of an orange, it just roasts and eats them.

[sunderwight]

That's why we always pick the most useless airhead to sacrifice come harvest season.

[sunderwight]

Now come on, get those chains off. Where did you even get these? Oh you made them? See that's the kind of craftsmanship the village needs you for. We'll have a big orgy after the ritual and if you want a bunch of us will dress up as dragons and take turns having a go at you. It'll be nice, you'll see.

[sunderwight]

Yes, yes, I know, not the same. Well not all dreams are attainable, in the end.