Hamburgess Angus the Third

Me (The Prophet): [She/Her], Burgess: [He/Him] That’s the turtles name, but it’s not his blog because he can’t talk. Think of me like a prophet. My posts tagged #3xGreenPosting for easier browsing (I think)

[infectiouspiss]

MELATONIN IS SUCKING ME OFF GOODNIGHT EVERYPUPPY I HOPE THE SEX HOSPITAL IS GOOD

[burgess-number-3]

Let me out let me out let me out!!!!!!!!

[spin-the-wheel-polls]

You wake up one day and discover you've lost control over a random action or feeling!

Spin the wheel to find out what!

How bad is it?

Actually way better than before!

Its good

It's alright

It's annoying but I'll be fine

It's pretty bad

IM DEAD

worse than death

Nothing changes/results

Remaining time: 23 hours 50 minutes

This idea was submitted by @dbnekonico!

[charl0ttan]

smoking the shit that turned the clock wise

[robogrind]

love the word fruitless. arguing with you is like if there was no apples involved whatsoever

[robogrind]

you're bountiless you stupid bitch

[oneofthosecrazycatladies]

How many languages do you have knowledge of? (Maybe not fluent, but you can at least understand/speak and/or read a little bit)

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

More than 10

Voting ended onAug 3

[mousidy]

ridiculous ridiculous ridiculous I can't believe it's slowly feeling more and more real that I'm actually getting bottom surgery

[mousidy]

woman who got used to marinating in her distress her discomfort her discontentment, who got used to never being able to have the things she needs

[mousidy]

woman who still thinks it can't be real and something will go wrong and yet gradually the proof starts suggesting otherwise

[burgess-number-3]

Playing outlast trials has me on my knees for another single player outlast omg PLEASEEE RED BARRELS I BEG YOU

[burgess-number-3]

Also the movie?? I’m going to need that too right now

[burgess-number-3]

Playing outlast trials has me on my knees for another single player outlast omg PLEASEEE RED BARRELS I BEG YOU

[whimsical-catacombs]

they call me the sex toy assassin on account of the way i can effortlessly kill a vibe

[skilledstormyskies]

I need that story about the guy sneaking into houses to measure toilets that sounds so funny

AUGH! IT'S BEEN REMOVED!

excuse me while I try to find a screenshot or archived version or something

[skilledstormyskies]

Wayback machine has us covered. Thank you wayback machine

@burgess-number-3

[burgess-number-3]

THANK YOUUUU <333

[skilledstormyskies]

I need that story about the guy sneaking into houses to measure toilets that sounds so funny

AUGH! IT'S BEEN REMOVED!

excuse me while I try to find a screenshot or archived version or something

[burgess-number-3]

[crabfisher]

slowing intuiting the rules and goals of solitaire through trial and error on what the computer does and does not let me do rather than looking up the rules because it's a much funnier way to learn

[crabfisher]

just learned you can move cards between stacks. how lovely

[crabfisher]

i did it.

[dizzyhslightlyvoided]

Yay!

What have you learned about how solitaire works?

[crabfisher]

FIRST RULE OF SOLITAIRE: aces are useless. put them on the top right. SECOND RUE OF SOLITAIRE: two's are about as useless as aces. discard them to the ace pile as soon as possible THIRD RULE OF SOLITAIRE: it's hard. FOURTH RULE OF SOLITAIRE: it's really hard; FIFTH RUlE OF SOLITAIRE: you need to make the cards count down. But watch out. You must Alternate The Colours FOURTH RULE OF SOLITAIRE: make if you already have a red king and only have one more spot to add a king do not add another red king. You will lose. SIXTH RULE OF SOLITAIRE: make sure to do every possible move with cards already on the board before adding cards from your draw pile. You WILL screw yourself over SEVENTH RULE OF SOLITAIRE: good luck. Don't forget to beyourself and have fun

[crabfisher]

I don'te. Know

[energyprison]

day 1 of not jerking off anymore

[energyprison]

starting day one of nofap today

[energyprison]

starting today im not gonna be jerking off

[energyprison]

day one no more masturbating

[energyprison]

nofap day one

[energyprison]

day one no more jerking off

[energyprison]

starting nofap today

[energyprison]

no more masturbating starting today

[energyprison]

start my first day of nofap

[t00thpasteface]

me before i get my paycheck: i'm so excited to spend this on essentials and save the rest wisely

me as soon as that direct deposit hits: you know i've always wanted to learn the theremin

[burgess-number-3]

And the worst part is by my next check I’m done learning the theramin and now a fuckass camera is calling my name…

[lebagelgirl]

Its done! It took three months, two yards of fabric, and a thousand feet of wire but its done! Thank you @pride-knightess for being a large inspiration <3

Also face reveal ig

Edit: link to the spinny video post =P

[burgess-number-3]

YESS INCREDIBLE

[suzirya]

I got permission from this friend to post this because holy fuck I can't stop laughing