Bear, aged 9, had an assignment in school.
“Inspired by The Hobbit or other books containing maps, create a map that could support a story. Include obstacles, geographical features labelled in cursive, and conflict relating to people or place”
Bear dreamily produced a map and proceeded to think of something else, until time was called and the children were told to present their maps to each other, justify, and grade them on the criteria. Flicking quickly through the criteria, Bear realised they’d forgotten to add any conflict.
So Bear improvised. The Goblin Kingdom and the Territorial Giants dislike each other heartily, but are thankfully separated by a mountain range, limiting their ability to be offended or aggressive.
In the mountain range is a cave network inhabited by a furtive and unpleasant (family? Species? Political affiliation?) of gollums, with one Gollum per cave.
The policy of the Goblins and Giants are to pay the gollums to prevent each other from crossing the mountains. The gollums do this effectively and it is a known barrier. In addition to not wanting to tangle with the Gollums by crossing, the factions do not want to offend them, as then the Gollums won’t block the other faction.
However, the factions cannot resist provoking each other, and so they pay the Gollums an even larger retainer to receive, remember and pass on verbal abuse aimed at the other side.
Thus, when you march up the mountain to visit the Gollums, you will be met with a delivery of abusive verbal messages from the other faction. You pay the Gollums and leave your own abusive messages to the other faction. You may not copy the content of any messages or cheat by asking the Gollum to repeat them to the other side; you have to accept your verbal messages and produce new ones. but that’s okay, as the malicious pleasure of creating your own is half the reason the factions are in conflict. If you’re drawing a blank, you can commission a gollum to simply hurl verbal abuse, but it isn’t as good.
Bear’s partner heard them out and ticked the criteria. Bear immediately forgot it, until I asked politely about their map, and their expression went totally blank, and they said “Mummy! I made all that up!”
I love that this is their idea of conflict, though.