PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
macklin celebrini has autism
shark vs the universe
Sweet Seals For You, Always
pixel skylines
@theartofmadeline
Phantogram Three
Color Me Curious
sheepfilms
Mike Driver
EXPECTATIONS
Interview Vampire Daily
almost home
The Bowery Presents
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izzy's playlists!
blake kathryn
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
roma★
Cosimo Galluzzi
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from Argentina
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seen from Nigeria
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seen from United States
seen from United States
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@burpington-the-1st
fucking hate my chess theory class. the professor is just talking about opening moves and shit. when i suggested my theory that perhaps the queen on each side was actually a pawn who was promoted before the game even began everyone laughed at me
one sup of this will have you demanding the news
we have two eyeballs to see in 3d. we have two ears to listen in stereo. we have two nostrils for like. fuck all i guess. its all connected anyway. who fucking cares. (looks it up) So that one of them can take a nap or something
08/15/2026
#oh my god did gallagher just discover the term dank this is so exciting #does he know it's a weed thing?? there's no way right
Of course Peter Gallagher knows that "dank" is a weed thing. He also knows that "in heat" is a sex thing and that when aliens "probe" someone it's in the anus.
These are words, not things. Heathcliff is a comic about symbols.
You're never going to get a comic where an alien actually probes someone any more than you're going to get a comic where the Man-Eating Giant eats a man. You're just going to get a dozen comics where aliens like the word "probe".
Heathcliff wears the ham helmet because it's the helmet you wear when you eat a ham. You can tell it's that helmet because it says "ham" on it. The helmet's function is determined not by its form but by its label.
summer = beach = sand = desert = mummy and thus there is the Summer Mummy. Because of symbolic associations that do not otherwise cohere.
Robots don't wear clothes but the mere act of labeling them "nude" makes them nude. And once a painting is a nude painting there has to be a fig leaf because a "nude" without a "figleaf" is "indecent".
A "ham" is a ham even when it's a car. A yam can be a ham can be a car because "yam" sounds like "ham". Symbols have overtaken things.
This is certainly true, but it's important to note that the fundamental act of a Heathcliff comic strip is for a character to remark on the fact that the symbol has overtaken the reality. The meat store invites the existence of a meat container, which invites the meat tank (tank both the vehicle and the bowl) which invites the enthusiasm of children for powerful mechanical objects. However, the gesture of the strip is not complete until the human identifies the irregularity which has occurred and states it aloud for us. The human does not question it, but they do name it. "Children love the meat tank"
It's important that Heathcliff is not the one speaking. Heathcliff is the character who dives the furthest into symbols, but he does not have a voice to speak of them. He is the avatar of the symbols and he is only spoken about. We must imagine the speaking characters in Heathcliff strips as the rebellious voices of the material crying out against the tyranny of the symbolic. At every moment once we've stepped into the treacherous world of Heathcliff, we are at risk of being pulled away by the tides of free association and similarity. However, the voice calls us back. It shows us when we have slipped too far, names the distance between us and the particular and specific which we have nearly lost. Symbols in Heathcliff are powerful; they can take you almost anywhere they want to go, but that power can be revoked simply by identifying what has happened. By explaining it. Heathcliff reassures us that the physical can win out, if only we are wise enough to perceive and to speak it, against the encroachment of the symbolic. Once we stand together and name the world truly, Heathcliff is merely a cat.
How to spot a ‘fake’ gamer
Frequently pronounces video games as “Blideo Bames”
Will often say “I need help passing this level it’s really hard” then when you look at their screen it’s running Microsoft Excel 2007
They invite you over to their place to check out their game collection and it’s just every season of Frasier (still impressive)
Their Xbox One is actually a series of tissue boxes glued together with the word “NINTEMDO” painted over it
When you ask their favourite video game they respond by doing a series of skillful backflips, temporarily distracting you from having asked the question in the first place
Keeps a secret diary with “I HATE VIDEO GAMES AND I NEVER PLAY THEM” written on every page
monty hall problem mods/house rules
the ultra monty hall problem: you are presented with three doors and told that one of them contains a car, the other two goats. after your initial choice the host reveals a fourth door & asks if you would like to switch your guess, but only to the fourth door. you are not given any hint as to whats behind the fourth door
monty hall scattershot: you are presented with three doors and are told that 10 cars & 10 goats are spread across them completely at random. after your initial guess the host opens the door you picked, then asks if you want to switch to another one
the discursive monty hall problem: exactly like the regular monty hall problem except each door has a 50/50 chance of having a goat or a car
the monty prison problem: you and a stranger in a separate room you cannot see, hear, or communicate with are each presented with three doors. if you and the stranger pick the same door, you both get a car: otherwise you both get a goat. after your initial pick the host will reveal a door that the stranger did not pick and ask if you want to switch your choice-- the stranger is being asked the same thing
the monty hall solution: three doors (1 car & 2 goats). after your initial choice the host opens the door you picked, revealing its contents, then asks if you want the contents or not. irrespective of whether you were correct he will say "are you sure" 5 times at minimum.
the monty corridor problem: the host presents you with three doors: two of them contain goats, and one leads to three further doors: of those doors, two contain slightly smaller goats, and one leads to three further doors. and so on
the monty hall problem unrated edition: as the regular monty hall problem, but if you dont change your initial choice, whatever prize you get is doubled
the monty hall consensus: you are one of twelve contestants being presented with three doors. one door has $120000, one has $60000, and the other has 120 litres of goat milk. all contestants who pick a given door will have its prize evenly split between them. three of the other contestants (you dont know which ones) have been told which doors contain which prizes. you are last in the picking order.
the monty trust problem: you are presented with three doors and told that one contains a car, the other two goats. after your initial pick the host says "oh, well that's wrong. door x is the one with the car." none of the doors are opened. you are asked if you want to switch
the monty twist problem: as "the monty trust problem", but you are also aware that one of the doors contains a cursed gem that will free the previous host and force you to become the new monty hall
hall of the monty king: the host presents you with 100 doors. 4 of them contain various ungulates, 1 contains a car, and 95 contain a ticket that allows you to pick another door.
the monty "hard mode" problem: after your initial guess all three doors will be opened. if your initial guess was incorrect, the car will be demolished on the spot. the host will then ask if you want to switch to the other goat
monty hall aim assist: as the monty hall problem, but if your initial guess was incorrect, the host will switch your choice to the correct door without asking permission
the monty hydra problem: as the monty hall problem, but if your initial guess is incorrect, two more doors are added to the group, & the car is reshuffled to a random door, then you have to guess again. this will be repeated for every incorrect guess. you keep going until you either find the car or give up
the monty hall tragedy: you are presented with three doors. all of them have a car behind them, but you dont know how to drive. youve always wanted a goat
the sleeping monty problem: theres a sleeping woman backstage. depending on whether you picked door 1, 2, or 3, she will be woken 1, 2, or 3 times, asked a question, then have her memories wiped & be put back to sleep. the question is: "which door did the contestant pick". you get one car times the number of times she answers correctly
the monty hall political cartoon: you are presented with three doors. instead of being numbered, the doors are labeled "deficit", "drugs", and "the voting public". whichever door you pick, the host will shake his head in disappointment
monty at 20000 halls: as the monty hall problem, but after your initial guess, the host opens a door that reveals a monster sabotaging the set. nobody believes you when you try to warn them
monty hall's temptation: the host presents you with three doors, each of which contain alluring & illustrious prizes. after your initial pick, monty hall will open all three doors and ask whether you want to keep your initial guess, switch to one of the others, or be permitted to wake up
are we sure that heathcliff isn’t an elaborate way to communicate with sleeper agents in the field
baseball players in the 20s were all named shit like Dipsy Doodle and Crunch Johnson
#they named them like cats in a shelter
aw mannnn
As it turns out, Nigel Farage might have wasted most of his summer by spending it fighting with a man wearing a bin on his bonce.
endlessly amused that Farage seems to think he's a Magic: The Gathering card
blunder of the century: Farage plays Ephemerate into non-targeted removal
Oh shit I better hurry
Enough Music to Relax Your Stupid Cat. Here Are Blast Beats to Turn Him Into a Warbeast
a pit of dread forms in your stomach as you parse my "evil baby on board" decal and realize you have a moral duty to rear end my vehicle as hard as you can
