Literal Trash

Hi! I'm kela! I'm super awkward and in need of some new friends so don't be afraid to message me!

[fairycosmos]

experiencing thoughts and memories

[victorpopejr]

I guess it’s his w/ @alphaxalfa

[captioned-miscellaneous-videos]

[Cheerful music in background]

Both: [singing in unison] “This land is your land! This land is my land!”

White person: [interjecting; monotone] “This land is my land! This land is my land! This land is my land. This land is my land.”

[laughter]

[busiaya]

I guess it’s his w/ @alphaxalfa

[jauregxis]

[aksldhfgaajdshgaslg-deactivated]

This is better than Meghan Trainor’s NO

[busiaya]

This is better than Meghan Trainor’s NO

[93-7]

[savagebeastrecords]

Son… THIS is what I’M here for. The slow motion at the end? PRICELESS!!!

[busiaya]

Son… THIS is what I’M here for. The slow motion at the end? PRICELESS!!!

[hackedalien-deactivated20150201]

World Population : 7,810,521,683 

just in case somebody start feelin too important

[bulbahaur-deactivated20160607]

7,810,521,682 and me

[cxndaquil]

This is my absolute favorite post ever i even saved the image on my laptop under the name of “and me” in a special folder with nothing but this image

[pukicho]

Honestly if I was slippery I’d slide around everywhere like a penguin until my head hit a wall too fast due to lack of friction

[ibuki-fangirl-deactivated202102]

I… I don’t know how to react to this post you made…

[pukicho]

You don’t need to react, you don’t even need to accept, you simply need to watch as I oil myself up, slide down nob hill, SF, gain too much momentum and die breaking my neck against a brick wall

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[your-personal-ghost]

But… the radio always just cycles the same 40 songs?

[busiaya]

I feel like 40 is severely overestimated. It's more like 10

[transxfiles]

the world was severely lacking weird little girl memes so i had to fill the void

[ulibeanzz]

ever notice how men criticize games like animal crossing and stardew valley on the basis of “the entire game is just doing tasks” without recognizing that “kill bad guy” is also just a task but violent?

[ulibeanzz]

”it’s so boring all you do is talk to people and do tasks so you can buy new things” yeah and all you do is press a bunch of buttons to kill people so you can buy new things? perish

[ulibeanzz]

my activity page has not known peace since i made this post i have hundreds of insufferable gamers crawling up my pant legs now but luckily i have a secret up my sleeve… i too am a gamer man. im immune to the gamer venom   

[atrius97]

This has the same energy as that post that’s “Red Dead Redemption is just Barbie’s Horse Adventure with violence”.

[deadpresidents]

It’s also worth noting that nobody in their 90s will ever master Twitter better than John Dingell

[forever90s]

[thecommonchick]

[medusabraids]

i’m losing my fucking mind (x)

[kscotter]

I ACTUALLY SCREAMED

[newyorkcityhomo]

THIS WAS TOO MUCH FOR ME I CANNOT IM DONE

[fourglasseyes]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[sunfortune]

that post on here that was like “suzanne collins was valid for finishing her trilogy and then leaving us alone Unlike jk rowling” jinxed us. hasnt even been a year since that and we get a prequel announcement? after a decade?? look what you guys did. if it ends up being weird im blaming yall

[sunfortune]

you all owe me money

[susieandhobbes]

Can’t wait to learn from Girls On Here why President Snow who ran the child murder games and assassinated political opponents is misunderstood actually because he was sad once

[kittyknowsthings]

….. ooooh noooooo

[just-shower-thoughts]

I hate that SEPTember OCTOber NOVember and DECember aren’t the 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th months.

[advanced-procrastination]

Whoever fucked this up should be stabbed

[brunhiddensmusings]

good news!

[utopians]

when I become an eccentric billionaire I'm going to buy every house in 10 square blocks of unremarkable suburb. I will have them all furnished and decorated except for (and this is key) one house in the dead center. this house I will put up for sale at a ridiculously reasonable price for the area. once it sells, and the new owner/couple/family moves in, the plan will spring into action.

every single house besides the one in the center within my 10 square blocks will remain uninhabited. I will put all the lights inside on timers so that it appears that people are living in there, I will have lawns mowed when I'm sure everyone in my victim house is at work/school, I will have decorations put up during the holidays and cars moved there and parked in driveways when I'm sure that the owner/couple/family in the house at the center is not there to witness it happening. I will produce all the superficial trappings of life without a single person actually being there.

who knows how long it'll take them to realize that something is wrong? when their kids are playing in the yard, and they notice they've never seen another child around here even once, despite the four-bedroom family homes all down the street? after a few weeks, when they realize the lights in the house across the way click off at exactly 9:45, on the second, every single night? when they've been living there for a month and a half and they realize they've never seen a single car park in front of another house? when they want to greet their neighbors and not a single house in the whole neighborhood opens its door?

when they do realize that they're completely alone here, what would they do with that fact? what would you do if all at once, as you stood in a crowd, you realized that every single person around you was a mannequin? it's unnerving, sure, but enough to warrant a move? how long will they live in this idyllic ghost town before it gets to them? can a person survive in a dollhouse? Thank you. *I wave to the crowd as I walk offstage at my ted talk. one person gives a halfhearted round of applause from the back. a talk about sustainable ecosystem management was scheduled for right now and no one knows how I got up here.*