hi I’m tuna(24), a they/them lesbian in love with carmy <3 MINORS DNI🔞, requests CLOSED, but inbox is open chatting abt the baby boy/the bear! (Pls read inbox rules in my pinned!) profile credits go to @drinkinggblood!
HELLO I'M ALIVE! I have a long story to tell but the summary is that I work in fine-dining now and I love my job :) FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!!
Blabbing about my job + this blog under the cut!
So I guess I'll talk about my job first LOL. Basically a couple months ago I tried to go work at this really nice hotel in my area, they hired me as a line cook (I had very little experience at the time) while not really understanding how much they needed to train me. Which in retrospect I did myself no favors, I was just so desperate to get what I thought was a "good job". Long story short, I worked my ass off and got the shit kicked out me, in the weeds and everything--it was awful! True horror story stuff. I got fired for not keeping up.
It was a rough time after but looking back I'm glad that I had the experience. If I didn't get fired from there I would have never found the next spot that I'm at now! I'm currently working at this smaller, newer fine dining spot in my area. I started there as a prep and line cook for the first part, and then I realized, "holy fuck I'm not cut out for this". I knew I loved working with food and the staff, but it didn't feel quite right.
Anyway, I talked to the head chef (also the owner) and I was just straight up like, "I really like being here but I don't think being on the line is for me, maybe I can move to front of house?" and he was like "fuck yeah there's no point in putting you somewhere you don't wanna be, also you're a great worker and we wanna keep you!" I was ready to leave if they didn't have a place for me, I understand that I was asking a lot of them--but if I could stay I wanted to stay. So I feel really lucky and grateful.
Fast forward to now, I'm all over the restaurant. I do prep. I dishwash. I run food. I'm training to serve. And now I'm in charge of their social media, taking photos and making videos (which I've so badly always wanted to do, I went to school for video editing). Life is great! Everyone there is great. I feel very appreciated and i make good money. I'm super tight with the head chef and he's lowkey my dad. LMFAO
So yeah! you could say this is where my obsession with carmy led me. I love my job and if I never watched the bear, I don't know if I would have ever realized how much I loved food and wanted to work with it. I don't feel that I'm in the food industry now because of the bear, I feel that the bear unlocked a part of me that was always there, if that makes sense. Either way none of my coworkers know about my previous obsession with the bear HAHAHAHA and maybe they'll never know!!
The moral of the story: if you find you really love something find a way to make it your job as much as possible. and hopefully you'll get lucky along the way!!
Now for the future of this blog.
I made this blog last year during the height of my obsession with carmy and the bear. But honestly, I was going through a really dark time in my life. I essentially had run away from my abusers impromptu and was figuring out how to survive and process what had happened to me. The bear was one of the only things that made me happy anymore. It kept me going!
that's what alexithymia was: an outlet to work through all of the dark shit I was going through at the time, projecting it onto carmy and the reader. I'd still like to give alexithymia its happy ending that it deserves (and that all the readers deserve for reading it)! The reception to alexithymia felt like a core part of my very being was openly being loved and celebrated, because I feel that I am that fic. That's how much of myself I put into it. This lowkey be making me emotional just thinking about it!!! anyway i'm so so so grateful.
i'm so appreciative to all of you who liked and supported my stuff here! I had posted on ao3 sometimes but it was all super polished stuff I felt safe posting. This blog was an opportunity for me to share my writing in a more freeing way, and it was the first time i had ever posted any of my smut anywhere. and now i'm free forever!! i was so nervous about it at first, but then you all came in and support the ever living fuck out of me. absolutely bonkers. thank you all so so much!!
i'm not sure if i'll continue to use this blog--i think i'll be posting some of my art on main, but I'm sure when the next season of the bear comes out i'll come back to hang out.
and a special shoutout to @buzzcutlip , @carmenberzattosgf , and @zorrasucia to being really cool people that I would have never met if not for this blog. love you guys!!!
tldr: FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!!!!!!!!! ESPECIALLY IF YOUR DICK TAKES YOU THERE!!!!! (THIS LAST PART IS A JOKE)
Time for a horny request 🚶♀️I’ve been thinking HEAVILY on a fwb situation with lip while in college 🧎🏼♀️ and when he hears you went out with some frat bro he gets so jealous and it’s a “I can fuck you better than him” type of situation
You know I love Lip! This one is for you, Olive 💌
Lip Gallagher x Fem!Reader
Explicit
800+ words
Never in a million years would you guess that Lip Gallagher is into you. He’s annoying, cocky, loud, and probably a borderline alcoholic and criminal—exactly the type of guy your parents warned you about. That’s why you find him so attractive. Secretly.
He likes the bad boy reputation, and you know him well enough to know that it’s mostly an act. You’ve had a soft spot for each other ever since the first year. He would help you with trigonometry, and in return, you would pick him up when drunk in faraway bars. The friends-with-benefits situation is another level to your friendship.
Lip’s room is dark when you stumble in, and he instantly pushes you toward the bed, tackling you down into the sheets. They smell and feel fresh.
Your puffer jacket disappears with remarkable speed, as well as your cardigan. Lip’s quick and efficient when he’s getting you out of your clothes, like always. He just seems a tad more frantic tonight.
“Hey,” you try to slow him down when he’s attempting to get his hand in your panties without unbuttoning your skinny jeans. “What’s gotten into you?”
Lip only looks up when you tug at the collar of his shirt.
“The captain of the lacrosse team, really?” he says, and suddenly everything makes sense.
You throw your head back as you laugh. “I didn’t know we were exclusive.”
Lip bites at your bare neck, hard and mean, and you frown. “Yeah—but I’m still the best.”
You roll your eyes and pout, staying quiet as Lip gets up and switches the light on. Even if you wanted to be shy, there’s no option like that with Lip—he wants to see you and everything when you fuck.
---
The third time Lip tries to kiss you, your hand springs up, getting a good grip on his chin. “No kissing,” you hiss, eyes narrowed.
Lip has his long fingers inside you, reaching for your G-spot for the past twenty minutes, teasing you meanly. Every time he brushes the spongy bit of flesh, you tense, feeling like you might come at that moment. Or pee yourself; the sensations are so similar yet different that you can hardly tell them apart. But Lip withdraws his fingers, leaving you empty and wanting. Because Lip promised he would fuck you so good that you will never want anyone else. His words, not yours.
“If you want to occupy my mouth, then let me blow you,” you say crudely, knowing it won’t shock someone like Lip Gallagher.
“This is about you,” he reminds you seriously, then smirks.
It’s always like that with Lip—an easy banter, joking and silliness until it turns to desperation and passion and need. You never catch the exact moment of the transition.
Lip takes his sticky fingers out and pushes your top up, revealing your belly and bra.
“Did he take the time to touch you like this? To touch your tits?” Fuck. You arch into his mouth as soon as Lip pulls your snug sports bra above your breasts, freeing them. He knows how sensitive they are, how crazy you get when he pays attention to them.
You moan in approval as he starts licking the soft flesh, pulling on one of your nipples with those wet fingers. Wet from you.
“If—if this is about me—” you get out, voice breathy and hoarse, “—would you please fuck me already?”
Lip keeps massaging your tits, kissing and biting all over them, and grinds his groin against yours. He’s still wearing his jeans and the denim drags roughly against your naked center. You’re not very far away from begging.
“Does it feel good, baby?” Lip taunts you from somewhere between your knees, obviously needing to dominate the moment. You must be louder than you thought. Usually, with Lip, you try to stay pretty quiet. The grip you have on his hair tightens minutely, and Lip groans.
It’s not often that you fuck missionary—your aversion, not his. The problem—the good problem—with Lip is that his dick is the perfect shape for your vagina, or something, and when you have sex face to face, laying down, the head of his cock hits perfectly the right places within you. So usually, when you don’t want to come in the first three minutes, you have to really concentrate.
He doesn’t let you have your way tonight. “I wanna see you.”
You try to wriggle from underneath him, but Lip holds you fast. “Lip,” you grunt, pouting.
“I wanna see your face when you come. When I make you come.”
You blush, hard. You’re not surprised to hear Lip’s dirty talk. You’re surprised that it affects you this much. Maybe there's more at stake here than just another night of physical connection.
“I’ll make it so good,” he babbles while putting a condom on.
hello friends I wanted to update y’all on my most recent endeavor :) I’ve thought about this for a long time now but I wanted to voice it! I blabbed a lot so I’ll put it under a cut
I haven’t gotten a job in front or back of house yet but I’ve been applying like crazy! I’m hoping to hear back from these places soon :) I rly wanna be a line cook but I also would love to be a server.
I’ve always loved cooking! And as I get older I love it more. I want to know how it works, how flavors go together, how to best cook everything, how to innovate. And I also want to experience the controlled chaos of the kitchen.
I don’t know if this is a red flag but I see the insanity of the kitchens in the bear and I WANT IT. even when I watched it the first time there was something beautiful about it to me. I’m not saying that being in the restaurant industry is 100% like the bear (it is a dramatized tv show after all), but the truth that lies in it is quite beautiful to me. I know it won’t be easy. It excites me
I think I also see a lot of carmy in me right now. miserable and lost, but eager to learn and do well. A love for cooking. Obsessive and perfectionist tendencies. Even running away from your toxic family. Knowing that I could be really fucking good at this.
I dunno. I just I have a future here. I’m not used to having dreams or seeing myself in the future. I never realized, but growing up, I didn’t feel like I was allowed to have dreams. My father is cynical and practical to a fault. I learned a lot but also… there was a cost. I’m not sure if I’ve ever truly had a dream for myself. And for the first time, this is something for me.
The hardest part is finding my way in. I don’t have a car and the bus system isn’t ideal, so finding accessible restaurants is hard. I had two opportunities that I thought were looking really bright, but then it just got crushed. I hate job searching right now. It’s so brutal.
Idk… I was gonna talk about this once I landed a job but I wanted to blab abt it now. I try not to talk about my personal life too much on here bc I wanna keep it relevant but… this feels like an appropriate place to chronicle this sort of thing.
Will update again when I get a restaurant job. Thanks for reading if u did <3
i've had to call this place every week for the past 3 weeks to try and get a day for me to come in (the manager or whoever it was on call forgot about me the past two times), and i'm going in tomorrow 10 am! it's a brunch/diner sort of place
worries and musings under the cut:
i have no idea if this is a good idea or not. the main plus of it for me, other than the fact that they seem to want me there, is that it's very accessible to me by bus. i'm in the process of moving and it's gonna be close to the various places my roommates and i are looking at.
but like... i've had to call this guy multiple times to get a definitive move forward. he forgot about me the first two times on the phone. i guess he's probably busy, but damn! damn! making me work for it! this place doesn't have the best reviews, and this could just be awful. average me preparing for the worst possible scenario, hahaha.
i can't help it. i prepare for the worst, and ideally hope for the best, but i usually just end up ruminating on the worst possible outcome anyway.
UGH. i'm not making enough money so i need a second job, and i'm feeling a bit desperate, but after 6 months at my current barista job, they refuse to promote me or give me more hours. it feels like such a waste. i don't really wanna work two jobs... but... otherwise i'm never gonna get myself out of this hole i put myself in. how depressing.
ANYWAY IM TELLING MYSELF ITS GONNA BE FUN AND IM GONNA LOVE IT AND IT'LL ALL BE WORTH IT!!!!!! I'll update this again after tomorrow
alright so i worked myself up for nothing. super underwhelming and actually kinda... concerning? i think i'm gonna go for it anyway because i have nothing to lose! my first real day is probably wednesday. probably.
red flags discussed at length under the cut:
okay so here's what's up. the owner had me waiting on him for 40 minutes while he went grocery shopping (he was out of town). while i waited in the front, i chatted with some of the workers.
i was told by the owner to "talk to the white guy" that i'll call G. G's a line cook. this is how it went:
me: hi are you g? i'm elliot, new back of house guy?
g: i'm gonna be honest i'm not told anything so i have no idea who you are. but it's great to meet you haha
me: ooooookay? hahaha
G's been there 2 weeks. GREAT sign (sarcasm). he says that the owner just has people coming in randomly in the back, working, and not knowing how to do jack shit. G seemed to like my vibes though, he told me that i seemed better than the others hahaha hell yes!
anyway G told me that there's a lot of miscommunication and just general chaos, but the menu is easy to learn. i talked to the other workers and they all seem pretty nice!
kitchen was dirty, hot, and cramped. just as expected! the owner told me that ppl are calling out all the time, esp on weekends and wednesdays for some reason? there's a waffle station, fry station, stove station (probs not the name), and assembly station.
the owner's apparently gonna call me wednesday morning to see if i can come in which is. fascinating. i wouldn't be getting paid much, but it's better than nothing, right?
lot of red flags, but none of it is a surprise. i thought it would be as such. i'm just gonna go for it and get some experience. that's all i'm really after right now anyway! i have some other places that could work out too.
this is probably so delusional of me to say, but i'm going into it thinking like, "this is my beef era". like this restaurant is seriously giving The Beef Chaos, but with much less yelling. hopefully. and that excites me!
I just read your post about entering the restaurant industry and I think it is incredible that you’ve found something that inspires you so much. That in itself is truly inspiring. Hoping you have a good first day and even better days in the future. I hope you will keep up updated along the way. You’ve got this!
ANON😭 I was just thinking about how nervous yet excited I am for tomorrow, and then I read this. Thank you so much for such kind words! When my feelings of inspiration falter, comments like this will boost me up again :)
I’m…probably saying way too much here, but…I wanted to say that this past year, I’ve been without the support of my family. I haven’t talked to them in over a year, very complicated and fucked situation. It’s been really hard and sad for me—my parents were never great people, but there’s a certain lonely sadness I carry knowing they’re not behind me to back me up anymore, even if it wasn’t ideal in the first place.
With that being said, words of support like this mean more than I can even express! I hope that this isn’t too intense of a response, but I really wanted to show how much this comment means to me. I’m definitely going to keep y’all updated :)
hello friends I wanted to update y’all on my most recent endeavor :) I’ve thought about this for a long time now but I wanted to voice it! I blabbed a lot so I’ll put it under a cut
I haven’t gotten a job in front or back of house yet but I’ve been applying like crazy! I’m hoping to hear back from these places soon :) I rly wanna be a line cook but I also would love to be a server.
I’ve always loved cooking! And as I get older I love it more. I want to know how it works, how flavors go together, how to best cook everything, how to innovate. And I also want to experience the controlled chaos of the kitchen.
I don’t know if this is a red flag but I see the insanity of the kitchens in the bear and I WANT IT. even when I watched it the first time there was something beautiful about it to me. I’m not saying that being in the restaurant industry is 100% like the bear (it is a dramatized tv show after all), but the truth that lies in it is quite beautiful to me. I know it won’t be easy. It excites me
I think I also see a lot of carmy in me right now. miserable and lost, but eager to learn and do well. A love for cooking. Obsessive and perfectionist tendencies. Even running away from your toxic family. Knowing that I could be really fucking good at this.
I dunno. I just I have a future here. I’m not used to having dreams or seeing myself in the future. I never realized, but growing up, I didn’t feel like I was allowed to have dreams. My father is cynical and practical to a fault. I learned a lot but also… there was a cost. I’m not sure if I’ve ever truly had a dream for myself. And for the first time, this is something for me.
The hardest part is finding my way in. I don’t have a car and the bus system isn’t ideal, so finding accessible restaurants is hard. I had two opportunities that I thought were looking really bright, but then it just got crushed. I hate job searching right now. It’s so brutal.
Idk… I was gonna talk about this once I landed a job but I wanted to blab abt it now. I try not to talk about my personal life too much on here bc I wanna keep it relevant but… this feels like an appropriate place to chronicle this sort of thing.
Will update again when I get a restaurant job. Thanks for reading if u did <3
i've had to call this place every week for the past 3 weeks to try and get a day for me to come in (the manager or whoever it was on call forgot about me the past two times), and i'm going in tomorrow 10 am! it's a brunch/diner sort of place
worries and musings under the cut:
i have no idea if this is a good idea or not. the main plus of it for me, other than the fact that they seem to want me there, is that it's very accessible to me by bus. i'm in the process of moving and it's gonna be close to the various places my roommates and i are looking at.
but like... i've had to call this guy multiple times to get a definitive move forward. he forgot about me the first two times on the phone. i guess he's probably busy, but damn! damn! making me work for it! this place doesn't have the best reviews, and this could just be awful. average me preparing for the worst possible scenario, hahaha.
i can't help it. i prepare for the worst, and ideally hope for the best, but i usually just end up ruminating on the worst possible outcome anyway.
UGH. i'm not making enough money so i need a second job, and i'm feeling a bit desperate, but after 6 months at my current barista job, they refuse to promote me or give me more hours. it feels like such a waste. i don't really wanna work two jobs... but... otherwise i'm never gonna get myself out of this hole i put myself in. how depressing.
ANYWAY IM TELLING MYSELF ITS GONNA BE FUN AND IM GONNA LOVE IT AND IT'LL ALL BE WORTH IT!!!!!! I'll update this again after tomorrow
you’re writing for carmy now omg i’m frothing at the mouth 😭 i love the trope where reader is quiet in bed and needs to be coaxed a bit but… i feel like it would be kind of hot if reader was the one coaxing carmy? 👀 no worries if you’re not feeling this one!
ty for requesting! — you teach the bear how to use his voice in the bedroom (new relationship, inexperienced!carmy, experienced!reader-ish, smut 18+)
bug's summer fic fest (ꈍᴗꈍ)
Carmy never notices when he’s quiet. His head is always so loud in comparison — it’s easy to forget he isn’t saying anything out loud when his mind’s constantly racing. He doesn’t mean anything by it, though. He’s just chronically observant. And painfully silent with it.
He lays on his back, pressed between unmade sheets and your warm body. The covers bunch at your bare hips as you roll in languid thrusts over his lap. A satiny summer breeze smooths over your burning skin from a cracked-open window. Every time the curtains billow, more of the moonlight peeks in. It drips in silver shades over your naked skin and your pretty face, now twisted in a look of undeniable pleasure — brows scrunched, eyes closed, mouth wide open.
Carmy’s tattooed hands rest impatiently on your hips. His fingers dig into the plush of them as he rocks you back and forth over his cock. You make pretty noises for him every time your clit brushes his coarse thatch of pubic hair, so he angles his hips just right to make sure you keep hitting that spot.
“Carmy,” you moan in a whimsical sigh that makes his chest swell. “Just like that. ’S so good like that. Please don’t stop—”
His face, made of dark shadows and sharpened edges, is pinched in a look of acute concentration. A distant feeling of deja veux swims in his stomach. It makes him wonder if he’s seen this in a painting before. One of those Renaissance types. The kinds that are harrowingly realistic and always heart-wrenchingly beautiful in a way.
It makes him want to draw you. Just as you are now. Head tossed back, mouth gently agape, lashes fluttering over glowing cheeks. He wouldn’t be able to do any of it justice, but he tries to memorize the soft lines of your face, anyway.
Your hips slow to a stop. Reality hits him hard.
“Woah, woah— Hey,” Carmy mumbles in protest, brows pinched in confusion when he comes down from the clouds. Through labored breaths that make his sweaty chest rise and fall, he wonders, “What happened? Why’d you stop?”
His icy blue eyes dart over your face, searching for any sign of harm. In true Carmen Berzatto fashion, he immediately thinks he’s done something wrong — that he got too far in his own head and hurt you in some way without realizing. The anxiety is fleeting, but he feels the pinch of it anyway — right where your palm rests flat on his chest, just over his pounding heart.
“Are you okay?” you ask him, similarly panicked. Your bare chest sparkles with a thin layer of sweat and catches the moonlight with every uneven inhale.
You exhale a small sigh of relief, growing sheepish under his unwavering gaze. You feel a bit silly for stopping now. “You just aren’t… You aren’t really, you know… saying anything,” you answer shyly.
“Am I supposed to be saying something?”
You giggle quietly to yourself until you realize he’s being genuine. Your smile ebbs as you stammer, “Well, no, it’s just— Some people usually moan, I guess— When they feel good.”
Carmy nods firmly in reassurance. “I feel good.”
“Okay…” you nod back, slower and more unsure.
“I promise,” he tells you, tattooed hands squeezing your sides. He shifts nervously on the mattress, similarly victimized by your adoring stare. “I just… I just like watchin’ you, I guess…”
A shy smile quirks the edges of your mouth as you peer down at the boy beneath you. “You’re sweet, bear,” you coo in a honeyed murmur.
“You’re sweeter,” Carmy insists. You think you see the faintest hint of a grin on his lips, but it’s hard to tell in the low light. “Wanna taste?” he teases a second later.
Wordlessly, you bend down for another kiss, far too chaste for his liking. He almost says something about it until you roll your hips again. The words of protest disappear when he inhales sharply through his teeth.
“Does that feel good?” you ask him.
He nods silently, squeezing your sides in a feeble attempt to move you faster on top of him.
“Tell me.”
“Feels good,” Carmy obeys through gritted teeth.
The subtle assurance makes you moan — a pretty, breathy thing that spills accidentally from your opened mouth. All he can think about is getting you to make that sound again.
“Do you like it when I talk to you?” he wonders aloud, very innocuously curious.
You nod, brows furrowed as you grind over his lap. The bed frame squeaks quietly when you roll your hips forward. When you roll them back again, he can hear the faint sounds of your wet pussy — the quiet schlick-ing of his cock fucking into you. The two noises play one after the other in rhythmic tandem. The sinful sounds of sex.
Carmy racks his head for something to say in the not-so-silent meanwhile. You watch him get lost in his mind and cup his cheeks between gentle palms. “Don’t think so hard about it, bear,” you say with a wavering smile. “You don’t have to say anything. It’s okay.”
You duck down to kiss him again. The angle shifts. Carmy bends his knees and fucks up into you, mercilessly and without warning. Your mouth hangs open in another weak moan that fans across his chin.
“That good?” he pants.
“Yes,” you whine. “Carmy— fuck— You’re so deep…”
Babbles spill from your mouth in thinkless slurs. They tumble from your swollen lips with an admirable effortlessness, which Carmy has never thought himself to possess. He tries, anyway, to talk to you with such sinful ease.
“You’re huggin’ me so tight,” he mutters through a clenched jaw. The very first thought to come to mind as the velvet confines of your cunt pulsate around him, squelching quietly in time with his thrusts. “Can feel you throbbin’ around me, babe— Shit— It’s like a fuckin’ heartbeat.”
Your whine fills the quiet bedroom, adding to the symphony of bed squeaking and skin slapping.
Carmy shifts his hips upward. The new angle allows his cock to reach a spongy depth inside you and pins your swollen clit against his happy trail, which now glimmers with a layer of your honey.
“Right there?” he pants.
You nod wordlessly until the words catch up to you. The tip of your nose brushes the bridge of his. “Yes,” you whimper.
His brutal thrusts pick up pace a second later, never wavering in their wicked pursuit. “Let me hit that spot,” Carmy mumbles to himself like a man crazed. “Let me hit that spot, let me hit that spot.”
Pleasure swells within you, overwhelmingly so. It’s a warm and sparkling feeling in the pit of your stomach — a tightening coil, a fraying rope, a dam about to burst. The intensity of your inevitable orgasm frightens you.
“Carmy…” you whimper.
“I know,” he nods sympathetically, right before he plants his feet on the mattress. He strengthens his thrusts, which have slowly started to lose their rhythm. “It’s okay. C’mon. Cum for me— I can feel you fuckin’ drippin’ on me, baby— C’mon.”
Your jaw clenches to fight back the scream clawing at your throat. It comes out in a pitiful whimper instead when you tense over his lap. Your orgasm washes over you in waves that leave you shaking, thighs trembling on either side of his hips.
Carmy goes accidentally silent once more as he watches you, swelling with pride as you reach the height of your pleasure. His light eyes flit over your features in a feeble attempt to memorize them — the furrow between your brows, the wrinkles beside your shut eyes, the spit-slicked sheen to your kissed lips.
You’re painting brought to life. A heavenly thing he can’t believe he gets to touch with unworthy hands.
“That’s it…” Carmy murmurs lowly. The words bubble in his throat and fall from his mouth mindlessly. He doesn’t even have to think about them now. It just feels right to praise you like this. “That’s it. There you go. So pretty… Always so pretty for me.”
As your body racks with aftershocks, you seek refuge in his arms. Your weight rests entirely upon him as your tense limbs slowly relax, but Carmy doesn’t mind. He just wraps his tattooed arms around you and holds your trembling body closer.
“I got you,” he promises through labored breaths, chapped lips brushing your temple with every word. “I got you. ’S okay. You did so good for me, baby. Thank you.”
You don’t have the words to tell him that you should be the one thanking him.
ARGHHH yeah I got a lip one too lol. Uhhh they should both be public tho… I tried making the carmy bot private and then public again. Hope it works😭here’s a pic of the bot in case that helps
